RICH'S B (AND WORSE) HORROR MOVIE THREAD
Posted 07 December 2009 - 05:29 AM
We see more of "Estelle Getty on steroids" (LOL, I can't improve on your description, Rich) in the trailer than the entire movie:
VOODOO WOMAN is a nightmare dreamt by someone who took a pill marked "Stupid".
Marla English, with her Cupid's bow lips, pert short brunette hair, exotic eyes and petitely sexy figure, might remind you of an hallucinogenic blend of Jean Simmons and Audrey Hepburn, not entirely devoid of charisma or potential talent given the right material. (and this is SO not the right material)
But darned if Marla doesn't put her whole heart and soul into this murderous money-hungry vixen who'll do anything to put the "slums of Pittsburgh" behind her, which means shooting anybody who gets in her way. She's a born killing machine, which interests waxen Tom Conway immensely.
It's heartening for his fans to realize that although this often underrated actor is operating here at the bottom of the barrel, our Falcon still manages to come up with some droll line readings which harken back to the good old RKO days. Tom is also surprisingly effective conveying the tightly controlled hysteria of a true nutjob.
Marcel, the "Frenchman", and his bar, look like leftovers from the flashback episodes of AIRPLANE. TOP SECRET! also comes to mind.
Of Mike Conners, the less said, the better. He's forced to be full of "hard-boiled" "wit": "I travel light and eat heavy". He's supposed to be a great white hunter helping Marla and her hapless friend search for gold. She gets excited by the jungle: "The drums are callin' my name!" and tries to seduce Mike, but he has eyes only for Tom's blonde wife, who is kept prisoner by her husband and has to rely on a sympathetic native houseboy named Bobo who speaks pigeon English. "Sad house, tea make happy".
Marcel tells employee Yvette to sing his favorite song, "Black Voodoo". This is sung by someone who sounds like Mariah Carey on helium.
VOODOO WOMAN is truly terrible, but unfortunately that doesn't make it a gem.
Edited by: Bronxgirl48 on Dec 7, 2009 5:56 AM
Posted 28 November 2009 - 09:17 PM
FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER, BRIDE OF THE GORILLA, and I think HORROR OF PARTY BEACH.
I'll catch up with HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, VOODOO WOMAN, THE WASP WOMAN, THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN, TEENAGE ZOMBIES, MESA OF LOST WOMEN, and THE MANSTER.
After all, you deserve to have in-depth discussions of these movies with people who have actually seen them!
Edited by: Bronxgirl48 on Nov 28, 2009 9:19 PM
Posted 27 November 2009 - 03:15 PM
> An example of ?Santana?s Wardrobe.?
Wow! I knew about Miss Santana mostly thru Russ Meyer's Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! - had no idea she'd made other movies - though of course I would love to watch her in anything she was in. She's kind of a role model for me now.
Posted 27 November 2009 - 02:35 PM
Bizarre mess from schlock director Ted V. Mikels.
John Carradine plays a doctor who is trying to create an "Astro Man," so you can guess how this will end up. The scary part is that Carradine seems like one of the few normal people in the cast. His assistant is a short hunchback named Franchot, which is French for "Igor." Franchot has the IQ of a doorknob. Imagine if Hugh Griffith and Robert Newton had a child together - and now you know what Franchot looks like. In some of the film's most hilarious scenes, Carradine explains every step of his experiments to Franchot. Franchot nods like he gets it. I get the same reaction from my students every time I teach.
Meanwhile, over at CIA headquarters, Wendell Corey (who appears in just two scenes) is trying to figure out why people are getting dismembered. It seems the CIA knows about Carradine's experiments; unfortunately, it takes them 90 minutes to do something about it. In between, Corey's agents start dropping like flies.
In another subplot, we have the nightmare pairing of Rafael Campos and that marvel of architecture, Tura Satana. These two are apparently enemy agents after Carradine's creation. Satana gets to wear some incredible outfits, most of which manage to accentuate her large breasts, like she really needed assistance in that area. In the film's opening credits, there is a line that reads "Santana's Wardrobe." Apparently, the producers were expecting Carlos to sing "Black Magic Woman."
Elsewhere, there are assorted women sporting short skirts, long hair, and big talent.
Corey is not around for the climax. Presumably, he was still out collecting pieces of Mrs. Thorwald. The rest of the cast converge on Carradine's house. This includes the Astro Man, who (I kid you not) has a flashlight stuck to his head.
"Oh, this is a little something I picked up in The Blackboard Jungle."
Jack Haley gets a tune-up.
This still was taken from Norma Desmond's home movies.
An example of "Santana's Wardrobe."
"Now Franchot, the time has now come to test our new brain.
We must feed this memory circuit through the emotional quotient rectifier
to determine if there is any residual impurity."
"Was it good for you?"
I'm a big boy.
Posted 27 November 2009 - 02:34 PM
I've decided to combine my previous threads here, rather than continuously make new threads, All my future "reviews" will be posted in this thread. Please feel free to participate.
If anyone is interested, here are links to the previous masterpieces:
Mesa of Lost Women
They Saved Hitler's Brain
The Wasp Woman
I'm a big boy.
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