LornaHansonForbes

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About LornaHansonForbes

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    GREATER than ANY REAL VAMPIRE!
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  • Location
    Dark City, USA
  • Interests
    Gardening, macrame, lies, deception, blackmail, the Dark Arts, the Nekronomicon, Olympic Shade-Throwing, innapropriate humor, bad taste.
    Fightin' for that lousy buck everyone sneers at but slugs to get.

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  1. LornaHansonForbes

    Somewhat Off-Topic: What have you been reading lately?

    INSPECTOR ZELAN (to Paul) You, playwright: do you know your Shakespeare? PAUL (shrugs) I do all right for an American, I s’pose. INSPECTOR ZELAN You know of King Lear? PAUL Not personally or anything. SIR CAROL Watch thyself, he’s like to be a close relation of this chap’s. Zelan raises his MASSIVE BROWS, lifts his HAND like a SYMPHONY CONDUCTOR and states with GREAT DRAMATIC EFFECT: INSPECTOR ZELAN “The Play.” A long dramatic pause goes on for a beat too long... PAUL (nods) Yes, absolutely. The play. The room is again quiet save for the echo of the festive violins and cheers below. SIR CAROL (impatiently) WELL?! What about the bloody PLAY? INSPECTOR ZELAN It is the thing. SIR CAROL (aside to Paul) Is it just me, or is has this chap fallen utterly off his trolley? PAUL No it’s not just you. At last, you have some company. INSPECTOR ZELAN “It is the thing with which we catch the king.” PAUL That’s not how that goes. IRINA And it is not from KING LEAR. INSPECTOR ZELAN (indignant) I beg your pardons!? IRINA It is from Hamlet. INSPECTOR ZELAN (FLASH OF ANGER) BAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (ANGRILY SWIPES HAND) Don’t be ridiculous! There’s no KING in HAMLET! Irina starts to reply, but Paul takes her hand. PAUL (shaking his head) Honey, don’t.
  2. LornaHansonForbes

    Somewhat Off-Topic: What have you been reading lately?

    I'm open to the notion that SHAKESPEARE himself was not, in fact, SHAKESPEARE, but an autonomous collective of writers who worked in a sweaty, stinky, smoke-filled room, much like the writer's room on a 1980's soap opera. I have been working diligently on a screenplay since April and I have included a few quotes from SHAKESPEARE throughout it, and to offset the obvious pretension of doing this, I have made it a point to have the speaker misquote and/or incorrectly site the wrong source almost every time.
  3. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    if you will forgive me for taking an aside here, the biggest thing that bugs me about WAXWORK is that we are told that there are 16 exhibits representing "the sixteen most evil men of all time" who are brought back to life thru sacrifices (fine), but one of the exhibits is of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA who, I mean, wasn't nice or anything, but "one of the most evil men of all time"? Like, seriously, you're telling me The Phantom of the Frickin Opera was worse than Hitler or Mussolini or Stalin? And also the SPACE ALIEN, how exactly does he fit in to the "most evil" was he the most evil on his own planet? ...and also, I suppose, the collective zombies in the NIGHT OF THE LIVIng DEAD EXHIBIT represent (collectively) ONE of the EVIL GUYs... or do they assemble to form ZOMBIE VOLTRON or what? and then the MARQUIS DE SADE doesn't really rate high on the "EVIL" scale for me.... i know i'm overthinking it, but it still bugs me edit- it could use a second draft is all i'm saying
  4. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    I remember thinking WAXWORK 2: BACK IN TIME was funny (there is more comedy) when I saw it a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally long time ago. (I think the year it came out)...but don't recall much else.
  5. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    I also watched WAXWORK (1988) on AMAZON PRIME. I saw this movie as a kid and liked it very, very much...re-watching it as an adult always disappoints- it desperately needed a rewrite to gap some holes in the plot and there are definite shortcomings with the budget and the logic and the narrative... and yet.... The scenes that work- The Werewolf, Dracula (played surprisingly well by MILES O'KEEFE), and (most especially!) The Mummy (which uses Swan Lake!)- work really, really well, but the rest is a very, very, very mixed bag. Did DAVID WARNER **** someone off LEE TRACY style? He is a good actor, but DAMNED if he doesn't say "yes" to ANY and EVERYTthing he is offered. ZACH GALLIGAN was SO ADORABLE. I think there is a dark story there, not long after this, he lost his looks and was arrested for shoplifting ca. 2004 on The Sunset Strip.
  6. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    I'm sorry, just a little something else about GOTHIC (1986) that I meant to mention in my review- it is, in many ways- a SUPER LITERATE, MERCHANT IVORY-ESQUE version of any number of teenage slasher films- based around the premise (that existed in the days before internet) of a group of friends going for a weekend in the country, becoming isolated and terrorized- ALBEIT, in the case of GOTHIC, internally and by their own fears. Somewhere out there, in the MULTIVERSE of story ideas, there is a really great hybrid of GOTHIC and FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH PART 3-D- where George Gordon, Lord Byron; SHELLEY (the curly haired dork from part 3, not Percy Byssche), their friends DANNY and TEENA (because there is ALWAYS a Teena) and MARY SHELLEY- the spooky Virgin who lives at the end- face off against a hockey-mask donning, scythe-weilding JANE AUSTEN, out FOR REVENGE.
  7. LornaHansonForbes

    HITS & MISSES: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow on TCM

    instead of ANNIE, you should watch SERIAL MOM, where KATHLEEN TURNER bludgeons a woman to death while watching the opening of ANNIE. (She didn't rewind)
  8. LornaHansonForbes

    HITS & MISSES: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow on TCM

    I was about four when ANNIE came out and then, of course, came of age with it on HBO and VHS. MISS HANNIGAN was a MAJOR INFLUENCE on me as a child who did not much care for the company of other children... ps- I get the bathtub gin thing now THAT I AM OLDER, but before I knew what Prohibition was, I TOTALLY ASSUMED SHE WAS JUST A FREAK WHO WAS DRINKING HER OWN BATHWATER.
  9. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    The entire way the POLIDORI character was portrayed, written, played and costumed got real GD old real GD fast. I got to wonder why in the HELL anyone would want to spend the weekend...or any length of time with this guy. He was like a more manic, slightly less creepy, overweight TOM CRUISE.
  10. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    I've been on the lookout for GOTHIC (1986) for some time. The output of KEN RUSSELL intrigues me, moreso since I recently rewatched LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM for the first time in ages and also saw CRIMES OF PASSION for the first time A LITTLE over a year ago. It showed up on AMAZON PRIME. like SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE, I felt as if it was an intriguing premise that did not reach full potential...the story is based on a weekend spent in the early 19th century at a villa near a lake in Switzerland- MARY SHELLEY, LORD BYRON, one of BYRON'S SIDEPIECES, PERCY SHELLEY and JOHN POLIDORI are in attendance. Shenanigans ensue and From this weekend was birthed Mary's novel FRANKENSTEIN and "Polidori's" novella THE VAMPYRE- which is not as well-known, but still one which I am familiar with and which has been alleged by many (most?) to have been written in fact by Byron. [i will always bemoan the fact that HAMMER never did a version of THE VAMPYRE] I sometimes feel like, for all his obvious passion and FLAIR, KEN RUSSELL is kind of a lazy director- this movie, as well as WHITE WORM, would have benefited IMMENSELY from more cuts and camera movement- Russell has a tendency (later on in his work} to film everyone in static shots, as though he were filming a stage play and he doesn't use many close-ups. i wonder if this was due to TIGHT BUDGET (it takes time and money to break down and set up different angles) or if maybe RUSSELL was just a MADMAN who spent half the budget on MESCALINE and RENT BOYS and thus could only afford to shoot the scenes from one angle. the lighting was also ALL WRONG (TOO BRIGHT!), it needed more BARRY LYNDON candlelight and shadows. As was the set dressing, they did not film at the actual villa in Switzerland (it is a little small) but instead at a GRAND AND OBVIOUSLY ENGLISH COUNTRY ESTATE that was, it would seem barely dressed for most of the scenes- one hallway seems to have very modern lighting and carpeting. it's kind of a mess, but an intriguing mess, which is what i expected. The late NATASHA RICHARDSON is excellent as MARY SHELLEY- her mother VANESSA REDGRAVE was so humorless and COLD as a young actress, I am glad that RICHARDSON did not seem to have this issue with her early work. GABRIEL BYRNE makes an intriguing, if too old, "Vampyre" (Lord Byron)- one wonders what his DRACULA might have been. JULIAN SANDS is also in it, he is...not great, BUT HE SHOWS HIS BUTT IN A NAKED NUDE ROOFTOP RAINSTORM SCENE AND IT IS TRULY MAGNIFICENT AND ABSOLUTELY SHOULD'VE GOTTEN A SPECIAL BAFTA CITATION OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE DAYUM!
  11. LornaHansonForbes

    HITS & MISSES: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow on TCM

    (Although Tim Curry, Carol Burnett, and Bernadette Peters try nobly)
  12. LornaHansonForbes

    HITS & MISSES: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow on TCM

    A very good reason. If that portrait of George Washington in the background could be looking the other way, he would.
  13. LornaHansonForbes

    HITS & MISSES: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow on TCM

    Emile Jennings make a very fetching Mephistopheles. Did I spell his name right? Whatever, he became a Nazi later on, so I don’t really feel guilty if I didn’t.
  14. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    actually no, for the most part i find the "useless" romantic male leads of 30's horror movies to be amusing- and sometimes, as is the case with the useless romantic lead in WHITE ZOMBIE- it becomes one of my favorite things about the movie (that the de facto Hero is the old German missionary who can never find a match.)
  15. LornaHansonForbes

    I Just Watched...

    https://lawhimsy.com/2012/10/26/the-black-cat/

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