Sign in to follow this  
SunAndMoon

On feeling like an imposter

16 posts in this topic

"You're not a real movie fan if you haven't seen [insert movie I haven't seen here]."

This happened to me. But I'm not the kind of person who hears something like that and thinks, "What a jerk!" I'm the kind of person who hears something like that and thinks, "That hurt my feelings, but maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I don't love movies nearly as much as I thought I did. Maybe I am just a poser."

The other part of my brain, the rational part, whispers that I'd really be a fake if I forced myself to watch movies I don't want to watch, just so I could fit someone else's perception of what a movie fan is. But it's not loud enough to drown out the self-doubt and self-hatred. There are genres I prefer over other genres, and that's fine. That's human nature. It's called taste. I should be able to enjoy what I enjoy without worrying that my taste is terrible. But I can't. There's always that sadistic little voice in the back of my mind, saying, "You're choosing to watch that junk instead of this movie you should be watching, just because you don't like the genre it's in? Don't you know you're doing it wrong?"

I'm sick of it. I wish it would shut up, but it won't, and now I can't ever fully enjoy anything because of it. Something always holds me back, telling me, "What you like is stupid and you should feel stupid, and I'm reminding you of that because if I don't, someone else will."

Thus concludes a self-pitying post I just had to get out of my system.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, SunAndMoon said:

The other part of my brain, the rational part, whispers that I'd really be a fake if I forced myself to watch movies I don't want to watch, just so I could fit someone else's perception of what a movie fan is. But it's not loud enough to drown out the self-doubt and self-hatred. There are genres I prefer over other genres, and that's fine. That's human nature. It's called taste. I should be able to enjoy what I enjoy without worrying that my taste is terrible. But I can't. There's always that sadistic little voice in the back of my mind, saying, "You're choosing to watch that junk instead of this movie you should be watching, just because you don't like the genre it's in? Don't you know you're doing it wrong?"

Classic movies and classic books are like your mom's Brussels sprouts...How do you KNOW you're not going to like them until you've tried them?

It's perfectly okay not to like a classic movie after watching it (I still hate Gone With the Wind), and I don't actively seek out romances any more than I seek out noir, but if something has a classic reputation, I at least challenge myself to find out the parts of it I don't know before passing judgment.  

After that, I can watch something else, and with a clearer, more self-justified conscience.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Watch what you want to watch, SunAndMoon.  Life's too short to listen to naysayers.  If somebody whose opinion you respect suggests that you should see a certain movie because you might like it, that's one thing.  Trust your own judgement and don't apologize for what you like to watch.  

Example:  my husband used to tease me and said I only liked B&W movies and silents, which really is almost true but not quite.  Meanwhile, he's searching around for p o r n  and crummy modern comedies.  To each his/her own. 

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like many, many movies that other people consider garbage. I also like some movies that people consider true works of art. I generally don't like musicals, but enjoy trashy horror flicks and grade-z science fiction and exploitation pics. This makes some people turn up their noses. I don't care. I've seen people rip apart movies that I consider favorites on this message board, and others who praise as masterworks some movies that I found...lacking.

Try to remember that whenever you see a "Best of" list, or a "greatest of all time" list, or, in the case of one book, the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, that none of these sources are unimpeachable, and none of them are giving you orders to watch, even if the title says so. It's meant to be cheeky, not literal, and it's a reference to a popular series of travel books. Think of all of these types of lists as merely recommendations, and not something to take too seriously or feel beholden to in any way. Even if you watch something on one of these lists and don't like it at all, even hate it, so be it. Don't feel badly or second guess your own tastes just because you didn't like something someone (or seemingly everyone) else does. Some snob may make a comment, but to hell with them. And if you like something that everyone else rags on or trash talks, so be it. Movies are meant to entertain and/or enlighten, and if they do either for you, then they've succeeded, regardless of what some slob with a degree and a keyboard says.

Watch what you want, and like what you want, and don't feel guilty about it. 

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SunAndMoon, I'm sorry that somebody said that to you and you were bothered by it. The only person who should feel like a jerk is the person who said it. The great thing about being a movie-lover is that there's something for everybody in the world of classic cinema and nobody has the right to tell you what you should see or not see.

Enjoy what you like and don't worry about what somebody else might think. Remember too, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you haven't seen some well-known classic film and you don't owe anybody an apology for that. 

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, SunAndMoon said:

"You're not a real movie fan if you haven't seen [insert movie I haven't seen here]."

This happened to me. But I'm not the kind of person who hears something like that and thinks, "What a jerk!" I'm the kind of person who hears something like that and thinks, "That hurt my feelings, but maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I don't love movies nearly as much as I thought I did. Maybe I am just a poser."

The other part of my brain, the rational part, whispers that I'd really be a fake if I forced myself to watch movies I don't want to watch, just so I could fit someone else's perception of what a movie fan is. But it's not loud enough to drown out the self-doubt and self-hatred. There are genres I prefer over other genres, and that's fine. That's human nature. It's called taste. I should be able to enjoy what I enjoy without worrying that my taste is terrible. But I can't. There's always that sadistic little voice in the back of my mind, saying, "You're choosing to watch that junk instead of this movie you should be watching, just because you don't like the genre it's in? Don't you know you're doing it wrong?"

I'm sick of it. I wish it would shut up, but it won't, and now I can't ever fully enjoy anything because of it. Something always holds me back, telling me, "What you like is stupid and you should feel stupid, and I'm reminding you of that because if I don't, someone else will."

Thus concludes a self-pitying post I just had to get out of my system.

I can totally relate. 

I still haven't watched the latest batch of the newest STAR WAR films (and that includes FORCE AWAKENS) and when I mentioned this, some folks I know go "And you call yourself a STAR WARS fan?!"

I still don't have any intention of going to see them. I felt and still do that the original trilogy should have been the end of the story (or at the very least the prequels should have been).  No one is going to guilt me or pressure me into going see a renewed installment of a trilogy that I feel has run its course by now. 

Don't ever feel guilty about not wanting to go see a certain movie. Your viewing choices of what you do or don't want to see are your own and no one has any right to criticize you or put you on a guilt trip for it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Bethluvsfilms said:

I can totally relate. 

I still haven't watched the latest batch of the newest STAR WAR films (and that includes FORCE AWAKENS) and when I mentioned this, some folks I know go "And you call yourself a STAR WARS fan?!"

I still don't have any intention of going to see them. I felt and still do that the original trilogy should have been the end of the story (or at the very least the prequels should have been).  No one is going to guilt me or pressure me into going see a renewed installment of a trilogy that I feel has run its course by now. 

If you'll take persuasion, you can see Force Awakens; it's got a "genuine" Lawrence Kasdan screenplay, so it's not too bad.  (And considering it was never really followed up upon, it makes a good one-shot epilogue.)

But no SW fan jury on earth will convict you for missing out on Last Jedi and Solo.  In fact, we're the ones now talking about wrapping up the franchise and burying it on hallowed ground while we still can.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I can relate too, SunandMoon.  It's never happened in HERE, but elsewhere, I got that reaction to my dislike( that all here know all too well) of BRINGING UP BABY from several people.

I'm with LAWRENCE when he says, "like what you like, watch what you like".  I'VE done that all along in regards to not only movies, but TV shows and MUSIC too, as well as clothing and hairstyles.  ;)  Like it says in BOB DYLAN'S still relevant tune, "It's Alright Ma( I'm Only Bleeding)"....

"...it's not he or she or them or it that you belong to."

Sepiatone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, EricJ said:

If you'll take persuasion, you can see Force Awakens; it's got a "genuine" Lawrence Kasdan screenplay, so it's not too bad.  (And considering it was never really followed up upon, it makes a good one-shot epilogue.)

But no SW fan jury on earth will convict you for missing out on Last Jedi and Solo.  In fact, we're the ones now talking about wrapping up the franchise and burying it on hallowed ground while we still can.

Think I am still going to pass on FORCE AWAKENS....especially since I already know what's going to happen anyway (one of the die hard STAR WARS fans spoiled quite a few twists for me). I prefer to remember the original characters going out with a heroic, more happy finale with RETURN OF THE JEDI.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Bethluvsfilms said:

Think I am still going to pass on FORCE AWAKENS....especially since I already know what's going to happen anyway (one of the die hard STAR WARS fans spoiled quite a few twists for me). I prefer to remember the original characters going out with a heroic, more happy finale with RETURN OF THE JEDI.

Not to get too far out of topic, but even given the twist (we sort of expected there was a reason Harrison Ford even bothered to come back), I dare you not to get misty-eyed when we see our first shots of the 1977 crew.  

Last Jedi was a train wreck careening off a cliff into a mass of twisted, molten metal, but Force Awakens almost plays like a metaphor of the New Generation trying to take the Original Trilogy back from the Lucas-insanity of the prequels:  The war is now mythical history, Tie fighters lying about in ruins, a teenage would-be Jedi and a teenage Stormtrooper on the run from a would-be teenage Peter Cushing and a literally cosplaying teenage Vader...And then in walk a few characters from forty years ago to show them how the ORIGINAL was done.  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/11/2018 at 9:23 PM, SunAndMoon said:

"You're not a real movie fan if you haven't seen [insert movie I haven't seen here]."

This happened to me. But I'm not the kind of person who hears something like that and thinks, "What a jerk!" I'm the kind of person who hears something like that and thinks, "That hurt my feelings, but maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I don't love movies nearly as much as I thought I did. Maybe I am just a poser."

The other part of my brain, the rational part, whispers that I'd really be a fake if I forced myself to watch movies I don't want to watch, just so I could fit someone else's perception of what a movie fan is. But it's not loud enough to drown out the self-doubt and self-hatred. There are genres I prefer over other genres, and that's fine. That's human nature. It's called taste. I should be able to enjoy what I enjoy without worrying that my taste is terrible. But I can't. There's always that sadistic little voice in the back of my mind, saying, "You're choosing to watch that junk instead of this movie you should be watching, just because you don't like the genre it's in? Don't you know you're doing it wrong?"

I'm sick of it. I wish it would shut up, but it won't, and now I can't ever fully enjoy anything because of it. Something always holds me back, telling me, "What you like is stupid and you should feel stupid, and I'm reminding you of that because if I don't, someone else will."

Thus concludes a self-pitying post I just had to get out of my system.

Oh, my goodness! Such self rancour and I'm sure you don't deserve it.

Firstly, you should ask yourself..."Is it really an insult to NOT be considered to be a real movie fan?" Why...it is a bit akin to counting yourself and being so proud as to be in the Pez Container Fan Club's premiere fan list. Or being mentioned in the Guinness Book of World Records as being the greatest owner of Hot Wheels memorabilia in the universe.

Be careful what you wish for...as Saint Therese used to say.

I am continually scorned by the more "normal" persons in the world, for knowing way too much about movies. Why, I've even been chastized for using movies to show an analogy. One woman I know was aghast that I said "Gee, that lady reminds me of Eve in All About Eve, with all her conniving" since this member of the hoi polloi said to me admonishingly "I've never even heard of that movie."

I told someone I had over 600 movies on dvd and they acted like they wanted to put me in the funny farm. Another person asked if they could borrow some of my movies, since they think they are a "movie fan" and after looking at my list with films like "Miss Julie" and "The Wind" said "Who would want to watch any of these foreign films." Do you not see, that being labelled a "movie fan" who has watched any and all abstruse films is not really considered a compliment by normal worldly standards.

Be glad that you might not meet the criteria of some extreme fans who think unless you've watched "Hour of the Wolf" and "Haxan" you are not really of their kind. Their kind, might be me, and I would not recommend anyone would want my approval.

Really, don't be a follower, be a leader. Seek out films you like and then you write the post that says "You're not a real movie fan unless you've seen _________!" Take the bull by the horns and create your own mystique and maybe even think of writing a blog detailing the films you feel are de rigueur for any "real" film fans and change the perception. You too could end up like Leonard Maltin as a self-professed film expert. If the Rolling Stones can proclaim themselves to be the world's best rock and roll band, you can play the same game.

A leader is not afraid to go against the pack and make pronouncements like "I hate Steven Spielberg films" no matter what the general movie populace says. I do it all the time and feel just fine with no sleepless nights or worry that I might possibly not be right. Time can prove me on the money, just as those people who said Mary Pickford was not gonna make it in sound films might have been chastized in their time but now are laughing out of both sides of their snotty mouths, if they are still alive.

I hope I've helped with this pep talk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sun, 

i don’t know how you couldn’t be considered a “true” movie fan, presumably you watch movies and like discussing movies (otherwise, why would you be part of this message board community?) so regardless of which films you have and have not seen, you are a movie fan. 

I couldn’t care less what people think about MY likes and dislikes. At 34, I am too old to put stock in other people’s negative opinions about things I love.  The other day, when I could have been watching something like “Gone With the Wind” (which I’ve never seen from beginning to end), I watched a million episodes of “The Brady Bunch.” Yeah, it’s not “Citizen Kane,” but not everything has to be. I love that show and never tire of it.  I also love “Viva Las Vegas” with Elvis and Ann-Margaret. No one will ever accuse Elvis of being a good actor, but ‘Vegas’ is so much fun to watch. I love it. 

If something makes you happy, then go for it, embrace it. The next time someone makes fun of you for not having seen a film, tell them to kick rocks. With that said, I *will* welcome suggestions on things to watch, because I love finding new films to love. However, I also know what types of films I like and I know what films I’ve seen that I disliked. Nobody can convince me otherwise. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/11/2018 at 9:23 PM, SunAndMoon said:

"You're not a real movie fan if you haven't seen [insert movie I haven't seen here]."

I don't view such a comment as an insult;  instead it is just something that is said from time to time by those that are really into something (an art form),  especially a genre or sub-genre of said art-form.   I.e. a clumsy sign of passion.   

As for listening to people about movies that one 'should' see;    This is a common topic in the Jazz Guitar Forum but tied to certain jazz guitarist and \ or interpretations of a song, that any 'real' jazz guitar player MUST at least have heard.  Generally guitar players new to jazz welcome such 'advise'.    But of course the goal of most users of this forum is to become a more proficient jazz guitar player.    

Related to being a so called 'real' American studio-era movie fan;   can one say they are if they haven't seen Citizen Kane, Casablanca or GWTW?  (or films with some of the iconic actors \ directors of the era?).

The point being that if one is serious about exploring (getting into) a specific art-form there are some basic 'road maps' and people with knowledge of that art-form can serve as mentors.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually, Sun, anytime I've seen a comment along the lines of "You're not a real movie fan if you haven't seen such and such" (and I have seen statements of that nature on these boards) to me, it reeks of snobbery. So why the heck would I care what a pretentious, self important snob thinks?

Be true to your own tastes, and enjoy the movies you like for their own sake. Sure you can listen to the suggestions of others (it could broaden your film watching horizons, if that's what you want to do), but if you eventually decide that the film or films involved don't sound like your cup of tea, so be it and just get on with titles that sound more to your liking.

I freely admit that I do not enjoy watching foreign films largely because I can't stand missing half the action by trying to read the sub titles (often obscured) at the bottom of the screen. Well, that's me, and if I'm missing out on some wonderful filmmaking along the way, well, I'm compensating for that loss by watching films that I prefer to watch. No loss of sleep for me, and I do consider myself a bit of a film buff, but just not of foreign films. I leave that subject to others while I concentrate on the movies (no matter how "low brow" at times) that bring me pleasure.

Now where is that copy of Night of the Ghouls I put down somewhere?

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I liked JAME'S jazz comparison in this debate.  Surely, I'm aware that even among many jazz musicians  that there's not a concensus as to what "real" jazz is or isn't.  And, just going by the predominant opinion on this matter in this thread, consider this-----

The REAL impostors are those who MAKE the claim that---"You're not a real movie fan if........".  ;) 

Sepiatone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

New Members:

Register Here

Learn more about the new message boards:

FAQ

Having problems?

Contact Us