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scsu1975

RICH'S B (AND WORSE) HORROR MOVIE THREAD

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?The froggy-voiced Casey Adams narrates the film throughout a la Jack Webb, and begins with ?I was dictating the wrap-up on the Butcher Benton package. I?m Lieutenant Dick Chasen.? Apparently Inspector Jacques Strappe was on assignment.? - < scsu 1975 >

 

Oh my...well with those words comes another excoriatingly funny review from the TCM Message Board's own scsu1975. I'd hate to put up one of my own films for his review. I'd never survive the atomic blast.

 

The funny thing is that I have to agree with you all the way (though I do so love bad low budget films). Yikes that map of the sewer system...who could follow that? Not even Harry Lime. I laughed when I saw the guy from "McHale's Navy" as a fellow scientist. I looked at Robert Shayne (who is shown kissing brunette Laraine Day in the "Our Favorite Brunettes" thread) and Casey Adams (who worked with hotties Jean Peters and some blonde named Marilyn), and wonder how did this script come across their table...and why did they say "Yes." Marian Carr's voiced sounded a bit like Jean Arthur's.

 

I love when the police captain kept telling Lt. Chasen that "the entire force will be on the case..." and all I ever see is them two guys in the room. (Oh yeah, there was one other cop in that sparse little room). There was never any sound effects of any other human activity going on outside that door. By the by, was that a painted silhouette on Lt. Chasen's office door?? Films like this teach me the "tricks of the trade" to making my own flicks with no $$$$. Rich, I expect to see your book of reviews published very soon. You are excellent and could really make a living at it. Ha! You wouldn't be lost for fodder with today's films. Please start with "AVATAR."

 

"Tell him Charles Benton is alive and even bullets can't stop him." Oh Creighton...Creighton, you puffy-eyed rat ****.

 

?Rich, another absolutely rip-roarin' review of INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN. I've wondered how many times Chaney flubs his lines until they opted to remove all dialog and insert the vocal-cord paralysis. Kind of a shame, but your review is still The Best this film has ever received. Wally Binghamton... I love it. Jacques Strappe. Lordy...? - < OllieT >

 

Ollie, you said a mouthful my friend.

 

Now...on to "Wasp Woman." Give me a chance to watch it again, Bronxie. I had to order it from Barnes & Noble ($4.89) 'cuz I lost the copy my fairy movie godfather sent me. I just got it yesterday.

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OMG -- I was also thinking that Marian Carr sounded like Jean Arthur!

Wheeeeee!

 

I think the best way to break down criminals is put them in a room with Casey Adams and have him yuk-yuk-yuk them to confess. "Yes, yes, I'll tell you anything, just stop that insane laughing!"

 

I joyfully await your review of WASP WOMAN!

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CineM, we SERIOUSLY need to get Rich-SCSU and Bronxie to do film reviews. Bronxy's WASP WOMAN is great, and I'd love to see them battle it out - especially on TV. I wonder if they'd move to Chicago - I understand there's a couple of openings for good film reviewers there.

 

Maybe they could the show, "Sister & E-Bit"? ha ha

 

Bronx, thanks for the great review, too.

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You're so right Ollie. But the thing is, they wouldn't be battling it out. They both have the same tone in their review of these great good bad films. Say Bronxie, Scsu...maybe I could interest you in a "MovieCHAT" idea of mine.

 

Nice to see you in these parts Ollie. But I know it is short-lived.

 

S-P-A-M ALERT!!!! SPAM ALERT!!!

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Yes, CM, it didn't take long before It had to hoist its leg and pee on every post around! As much as it complains about other people creating posts in 'wrong' forums, it doesn't mind doing a hundred at a time with the same offense.

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> {quote:title=Ollie_T wrote:}{quote}

> CineM, we SERIOUSLY need to get Rich-SCSU and Bronxie to do film reviews. Bronxy's WASP WOMAN is great, and I'd love to see them battle it out - especially on TV. I wonder if they'd move to Chicago - I understand there's a couple of openings for good film reviewers there.

 

I wouldn't mind moving back to Chicago....

>

> Maybe they could the show, "Sister & E-Bit"? ha ha

>

> Bronx, thanks for the great review, too.

 

Thanks, Ollie, but I'm just the warm-up for Maven!

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> {quote:title=CineMaven wrote:}{quote}

> You're so right Ollie. But the thing is, they wouldn't be battling it out. They both have the same tone in their review of these great good bad films. Say Bronxie, Scsu...maybe I could interest you in a "MovieCHAT" idea of mine.

 

We love these crummy movies, we really do!!

>

> Nice to see you in these parts Ollie. But I know it is short-lived.

>

> S-P-A-M ALERT!!!! SPAM ALERT!!!

 

Yep. I've already alerted the stick bloodhound authorities.

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You're too modest mi hermana. YOU are the main attraction. Holy cow! Is it the week-end allllready? But I'll come up with something. The night watchman just got "wasped." Crikey!

 

Let's change the Code of Conduct at the TCM Kennel!!

 

Edited by: CineMaven on Feb 8, 2010 4:19 PM: Arf!

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> {quote:title=Ollie_T wrote:}{quote}

> CineM, we SERIOUSLY need to get Rich-SCSU and Bronxie to do film reviews. Bronxy's WASP WOMAN is great, and I'd love to see them battle it out - especially on TV. I wonder if they'd move to Chicago - I understand there's a couple of openings for good film reviewers there.

 

Too cold - Barbara can have Chicago. I'll take Honolulu. We can do the show via webcam, or better yet, the producers can just hold up posters of us with our reviews dubbed in, thus illustrating the cheapness of it all.

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> {quote:title=scsu1975 wrote:}{quote}

> Too cold - Barbara can have Chicago. I'll take Honolulu. We can do the show via webcam, or better yet, the producers can just hold up posters of us with our reviews dubbed in, thus illustrating the cheapness of it all.

 

Well, if I were your producer, I'd send you to Honolulu in a NY second. ;)

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> {quote:title=CineMaven wrote:}{quote}

>

> Now...on to "Wasp Woman." Give me a chance to watch it again, Bronxie. I had to order it from Barnes & Noble ($4.89) 'cuz I lost the copy my fairy movie godfather sent me. I just got it yesterday.

 

When you're done with Wasp Woman, watch Invasion of the Bee Girls. :)

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> {quote:title=CineMaven wrote:}{quote}

> You're too modest mi hermana. YOU are the main attraction. Holy cow! Is it the week-end allllready? But I'll come up with something. The night watchman just got "waspey!

 

Is it Friday already? What am I doing on the boards now? I'm supposed to be in my cave till this week-end, but I just popped out today for a few things. I''m dying for you to tell me if you think Susan Cabot was secretly jonesing for Tony Eisely at that board meeting. It's never satisfactorily spelled out. Perhaps if Roger had paid more attention to Janice Starlin's sexual frustrations, the movie would have been more fun.

>

> Let's change the Code of Conduct at the TCM Kennel!!

 

I heartily concur.

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Rich, I just read your and Bronxie's reviews and I'm still grinning. My doctor told me if I laughed too hard it would hurt. He was right. I'm laughing...hard. And it hurts!!

 

You've GOT to include those screenshots and captions on your show. Maybe as a powerpoint presentation. :D

 

Terrific stuff down here, I haven't had a laugh like this in a long time.

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> {quote:title=MissGoddess wrote:}{quote}

> You've GOT to include those screenshots and captions on your show. Maybe as a powerpoint presentation. :D

 

I will consider doing the show if the producers let me choose a fictional name from one of these movies. Right now, I can't decide between Dick Chasen (from The Indestructible Man ) or Dick Cutting (from Creature with the Atom Brain ).

 

Then again, those might be more appropriate names for the female host.

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Rich, you don't have to listen to CineM. She's got ME all upset with WASP WOMAN these days. Heck, I had to plug in THE GIANT CLAW and THE GIANT BEHEMOTH just to take my mind off of my wife's humming-buzzing lately. That CineM-! She does this to me all the time... making me imagine things like wings on Wifey.

 

I saw Wifey standing next to venetian blinds in dim light. I saw the darned bumble-bee pattern across her. That blasted CineM. Now I'm wondering about this new cold-cream of Wifey's... SueBee what kind of cold-cream?!!

 

I'm glad CineM hasn't been watching SHE-CREATURE... I might start to get concerned about nightly antenna where I used to only see ruffled hair, and pounding-surf sounds. Why does CM do this to me?!!

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