sineaste

20th Century Vole Presents

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SummerWithMonika1362x500.jpg

Miss Conversion, 1953

 

 

 

*Suddenly, Last Summer with Monika*

 

A spoiled, second-rate poet and mama's boy who is caught in a self-destructive

downward spiral has his entire life changed when he encounters a sexy Swedish

number vacationing in Europe, and has his eyes opened to certain new possibilities.

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You do this just to tempt me, don't you?

 

Create an awesome premise for a thread, lay out the the required groundwork for participation, then wait. . . and wait. . .

 

Keep this thread toward the top. I will have your longed-for response.

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> {quote:title=casablancalover wrote:}{quote}

> You do this just to tempt me, don't you?

 

No, at least not on purpose. :D I have to credit Jarrod with coming up with the concept,

as we say in Hollywood, of movies that never were, and Monty Python for the name 20th

Century Vole. I just "borrowed" them, you know how the picture business works. I'm just

glad to see that the photo of the lovely Harriet Andersson is still up.

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loneliness2.jpg

Don't worry mate, you'll only feel a little pinch.

 

 

*The Loneliness of the Long Distance Dentist*

 

A recently rediscovered masterpiece from the early 1960s British "kitchen sink"

school of film making. One English dentist vows to travel the entire country and

go to to any lengths to fix his compatriots' snaggle teeth.

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old-fashioned-way.jpg

Sweet little tyke, why don't you go out and play in the traffic.

 

 

*Whatever Happened to Baby LeRoy?*

 

The famous child star disappeared from movie screens quite suddenly. Hollywood

rumors say that Bill Fields knew more than he told about this. Maybe it's time to

search the Beefsteak Mine.

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20th Century Vole

Ars Gratia Moolah

 

Invasion.jpg

Whadaya mean, can he act? Hell, he

played Caliban at the Old Vic last year.

 

 

 

*Invasion of the Body Scratchers*

 

 

In the prim and proper middle class community of Santa Mira, people start to

notice a heretofore unseen phenomenon: Citizens scratching themselves in public,

including the naughty bits. Yep, Uncle Ira has his hand you know where. Or.... is

it really Uncle Ira?

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Announcing new 20th Century Vole Productions!

 

NORTH DALLAS FORTY GUNS - They're not just playing football any more

 

THE EGG AND I WANT TO LIVE! - Vegan melodrama

 

SHE WORE AN I AM CURIOUS YELLOW RIBBON - Swedish hussy disrupts the U.S. Cavalry

 

IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT OF THE HUNTER - Psycho Mitchum chases detective Poitier and femme fatale Gish

 

ASHES AND DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER - 007 gives up espionage to study Polish cinema

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bicyclethief460.jpg

No, today is not Prince spaghetti day.

 

 

 

 

*The Tricycle Thief*

 

The little known sequel to the Italian neorealist classic The Bicycle Thief Conditions

had deteriorated so completely in postwar Italy that even a bambino's three-wheeler wasn't

safe. A third film, with baby strollers as the subject, was planned, but due to a number

of factors was never produced.

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sjff_01_img0277.jpg

...goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester Square...

 

 

 

*The Seven Little Froys*

 

This kindly, sweet old lady is not quite what she seems to be. No, she's not really

a spy, but just a great aunt who must get her seven great nieces and nephews back

to London on time so they can perform their act at the music hall, (on the bill with

Radford and Wayne), a juggling specialty done to the tune It's a Long Way to Tipperary.

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dain.jpg

It's the stuff that hangovers are made of.

 

 

 

 

*The Maltese Faulkner*

 

Famed southern novelist William Faulkner is working as a screenwriter in Hollywood,

when he realizes he is out of rye for his usual weekend drinking binge, and has to search all

over Tinseltown, from the studio back lots to Sunset Boulevard, for his missing decanter

in the shape of a falcon, looking high and low for the bottle that contains his dreams of

youth, his sister's lost innocence, Flem Snopes' collection of risque **** photos and

last but not least, a pretty large quantity of high grade hooch.

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HardDaysNight.jpg

You Better Run for Your Life

 

 

 

*A Hard Day's Night of the Hunter*

 

The Beatles are enjoying their first tour of the U.S. when they discover

they are being stalked by a loony tune, a man who hates their new sound and

is a fanatic Lawrence Welk disciple. He is easily identified by the two tattoos

on his right and left hand, which read BOBBY and CISSY.

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<ahttp://www.altfg.com/Stars/a/african-queen-katharine-hepburn.JPG>

He's a Afrikaner queen,

Interdicting dynamite and gelatin,

Guaranteed to uphold the color line,

Every time.

 

 

 

*The Afrikaner Queen*

 

 

When it is discovered that an influential South African Boer and member of the

National Party is actually a gay man who likes to "dress up a bit," he must flee the wrath

of his conservative colleagues and crosses the border into Rhodesia, in a boat piloted

by a gin swilling American charlie.

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> {quote:title=sineaste wrote:}{quote}

> HardDaysNight.jpg

> You Better Run for Your Life

>

>

>

> *A Hard Day's Night of the Hunter*

>

> The Beatles are enjoying their first tour of the U.S. when they discover

> they are being stalked by a loony tune, a man who hates their new sound and

> is a fanatic Lawrence Welk disciple. He is easily identified by the two tattoos

> on his right and left hand, which read BOBBY and CISSY.

 

 

I'm afraid you've got the wrong caption on this one. You will note that none of the Beatle's feet are touching the ground. This was shot just as they were begining to be raptured up... fortunately a few frames before their clothes fell off.

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> I'm afraid you've got the wrong caption on this one. You will note that none of the Beatle's feet are touching the ground. This was shot just as they were begining to be raptured up... fortunately a few frames before their clothes fell off.

Charlotte like this

h5. Way to build on a joke... :D

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I don't know, it looks like George, perhaps paradoxically, has at least one foot on the ground.

It would have been awful if the Beatles were raptured up in '64, we would have missed so many

great tunes, including The Ballad of John and Yoko.

 

 

 

 

 

leaning-against-John-s-Rolls-Royce-the-beatles-7349901-600-305.jpg

Whoever's left behind, you can drive my car. Beep, beep, Beep, beep, yeah.

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> {quote:title=sineaste wrote:}{quote}

> I don't know, it looks like George, perhaps paradoxically, has at least one foot on the ground.

> It would have been awful if the Beatles were raptured up in '64, we would have missed so many

> great tunes, including The Ballad of John and Yoko.

 

As they were being raptured up, God looked into the future, and saw that if they were not raptured up, John would one day declare that they were more popular than Jesus. This **** him off, so he immediately let them drop to the ground. They found this so unsettling that it was part of the inspiration for *Help*, a movie about false gods. :D

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I always got a chuckle from one of Lennon's quotes on the subject: "Jesus was all

right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary." There goes the career in PR.

 

It might just end something like this:

 

I don't believe in KENNEDY

I don't believe in KINGS

I don't believe in ELVIS

I don't believe in RAPTUR...

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<ahttp://mos.totalfilm.com/images/t/the-seven-ages-of-sci-fi-part-two--00-429-75.jpg>

Don't worry, it's a dry heat.

 

 

*The Day the Earth Stood Still, Caught Fire, and the Fish Came Out*

 

It's a rough twenty-four hours for the big blue marble as it suffers one

catastrophe after another. In the end, good old planet Earth manages

to survive all these disasters, though there's a rather unpleasant odor left

in the air.

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Check out your Favorite Stars ... when they were still in School!

 

[Larry David|http://www.celebrityschoolpics.com/celebrity/000743/larry-david/]

 

[Kate Beckinsale|http://www.celebrityschoolpics.com/celebrity/000101/kate-beckinsale/]

 

[Julie Roberts|http://www.celebrityschoolpics.com/celebrity/000138/julia-roberts/]

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The_Graduate.jpg

Golly gee, Mrs. Robinson, that's a Whole Lotta Cellulite, and I ain't foolin'.

 

 

*The Graduate II: Plastic or Paper*

 

Benjamin Braddock is checking out at his local Food-O-Rama when he is asked the

question: plastic or paper. On hearing the word plastic he falls into a reverie, remembering

the late Mrs. Robinson, his ex-wife Elaine, and his Yankee Clipper key chain. He comes

to his senses, takes his bag of JumboTofuLiteYummyTreats out to his 1996 Kia and drives

home to the TurfnSurf Trailer and Rec Park to watch TV with his 28 year old girlfriend.

Coo, coo, ca-choo.

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> {quote:title=sineaste wrote:}{quote}

> *The Day the Earth Stood Still, Caught Fire, and the Fish Came Out*

 

No, The Day the Fish Called Wanda Came Out of the Past.

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*The Night of the Iguanodon* - A defrocked Iguanodon bernissartensis goes to Australia where he becomes enamored with an Atlascopcosaurus loadsi hatchling. He is redeemed by the love of a Repenomamus who wants him happy and mellow before she eats him.

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Hey, some really solid ideas here. I'll kick them up to Joachim "Speedy" von Schismacher,

Assistant Manager for New Properties, D.D.S., and see what he thinks. Don't call him,

he'll call you (collect).

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lifeboat_1944-alfred-hitchcock-w-tallulah-bankhead.jpg

A giant squid right behind me, Bette? Thanks for the warning, darling. Let me just

turn around and...

 

 

 

*In This Our Lifeboat*

 

Two more survivors, Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland, arrive at the already crowded lifeboat,

and are taken aboard. Bette at first sets her sights on Mr. Rittenhouse, the millionaire, but switches

her affections to Willi, after witnessing his pill induced supermanage. During the night, there is a loud

splashing sound in the water, but everyone is too exhausted to investigate. Come the morning,

Tallulah, her typewriter, jewelry, and lipstick are nowhere to be found. Mother Goddam strikes

again. Go Tide.

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