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20th Century Vole Presents

1,239 posts in this topic

bob-hope-071609-lg-417112.jpg

Hello, I need help. I've been mugged by my suit in the East End.

 

 

 

 

 

*My Favorite *****

 

Bob tells Dolores he is going to spend the weekend with a sick friend, Marilyn Maxwell,

but he is really flying to London to celebrate his 75th birthday in his old home town. But

London has changed quite a bit, and Bob makes a wrong turn into Brixton and is set upon

by skinheads, who put some moguls into his ski nose. To add insult to injury, as they walk away,

they sing The Whiffenpoof Song. Baa. Baa. Baa.

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Will Penny Serenade: In which cowboy Charlton Heston and schoolmarm Irene Dunne try to adopt a baby (actually an infantile-acting Cary Grant), but the mean social worker says homesteading is no life for a child, all to the doleful strains of a western guitar tune.

 

A Letter To Three Wives From An Unknown Woman: In which Linda Darnell, Ann Sothern and Jeanne Crain each are baffled as to why their respective husbands might have run off with a stranger, played by Joan Fontaine, when the husbands were each having an affair with Celeste Holm, with the tacit approval of the wives, so they could keep them.

 

And let's not forget the 20th Century Fox-produced series for HBO - Six Feet Underwater: In which Jane Russell runs a funeral home, and dives for treasure off the Dry Tortugas during her spare time, all the while having visions of her deceased ex-husband Gilbert Roland.

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Abbott_and_Costello.jpg

Let's see, the Charles Ponzi Kansas Pearl Diving Fund and the Newcastle

Coal Import Co. Sound like solid investments to us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Abbot and Costello Meet a Hollywood Accountant*

 

After the boys' film career takes off in the early 1940s, they decide to hire someone to

manage their money, choosing a Hollywood accountant for the task. Before too long,

their best known routine changes from "Who's on first" to "Where's the money."

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*The Madness of King Georgy Girl*

 

George III, King of Swinging England, suffers from a mysterious illness. When he discovers that one of his courtiers is going to have a baby, he manifests bizarre behaviour which some attribute to his mistaken idea that he is the one who is pregnant. Despite the attentions of an older aristocrat who wishes to help him, he falls in love with one of his jesters and decides to keep the baby. His advisors become very concerned for him, especially when he takes to frolicking about the streets of swinging London and singing torch songs at parties. Finally he decides to abandon his one true love to care for the baby, whom he plans to register for the succession of the throne.

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*Miracle on 42nd Street*

 

Santa is nearing bankruptcy, paying for all those gifts every year. So, he gets a Broadway producer to put on a benefit musical to bail him out. Of course the star sprains her ankle at the last minute, and they find her understudy, but she's drunk as a skunk. Kris Kringle just happens to know her lines, and the show must go on... It's a smash success, goes on tour, gets bags of fan mail with contributions, and so Santa is set for Christmases to come.

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*Gidget Meets Godzilla*

 

Finally, a sequel to the infamous animated short, *Bambi Meets Godzilla*. But, Gidget does not suffer Bambi's fate. Gidget is sunning herself on shore, when Godzilla starts wading in through the surf, snatching surfers from the waves, and gulping them down with relish. Don't ask what the relish was made from...

 

Plucky Gidget can't let Godzilla go unchallenged, but she knows she is no match for him. So, she turns to God, and morphs into her Flying Nun persona. She begins dive bombing Godzilla, pelting him with beams of Celestial Fire (TM.) She manages to drive Godzilla back into the sea, but not before he knocks her nun's cap off her head. This causes her to crash to the beach below, knocking her out. When she comes to, all the remaining gnarly surfer dudes are clustered around, bending over her. She opens her eyes, and thinks she has gone to Heaven.

 

Note to Marv Newland: if you like the idea, and use it, just give me a story idea credit, and a free DVD, and it's yours... :)

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Is this the Americanized version of Gidget Meets Godzilla with Raymond Burr as the love interest?

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In this version, animated remember, Raymond Burr is rotoscoped to play the part of Godzilla.

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*Bringing Up Baby Jane*

 

A young paleontologist accidentally leaves a dinosaur bone, essential to his museum display, in the hands of two crazed sisters. One of the sisters cannot forgt her past as a child star. She attempts to lure the paleontologist into helping her with her comeback, which involves dressing her pet leopard up in drag.

But complications arise, and the young scientist winds up locking up both sisters, his girlfriend's aunt, and the leopard ( now attired in a peach -coloured negligee) into a forgotten closet in the sisters' dark old mansion.The dinosaur bone, discovered at the bottom of the crazed sister's rouge jar, proves to be the key that unlocks the closet, releasing the ancient sisters, the aunt, and the leopard to a new perspective on life. All is resolved when they decide to clothe the leopard in the former child star's best frock, and take the entire show on the road, culminating in a grand final performance at the museum.

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*Moon Over Miami Vice*

 

A featured length made for TV movie, which served as the pilot of a crime show, in which a pair of undercover cops, played by Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas (known as the Miamese Cats), wore pastel colored clothes and loafers, while fighting crime in America's subtropical playground. The pilot had them investigating two beautiful blonde sisters, played by Betty Grable and Carole Landis, who pretended to be wealthy as a front for the cocaine shipments they were receiving and the money they were laundering. They both danced and sang as well to the strains of big bands.

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> {quote:title=kingrat wrote:}{quote}

> Arturo, I love your posts!

>

>

> APOCALYPSE NOW, VOYAGER

>

> Robert Duvall lights two Viet Cong villages, one for himself, one for Bette Davis. When he wants to make love, she says, "Let's not ask for the moon. We have the smell of napalm in the morning."

 

OK, now my daughter is threatening to pull the plug on my computer. Apparently my laughter at this thread is drowning out the "My Life as Liz" marathon...

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> {quote:title=ValentineXavier wrote:}{quote}

> *Miracle on 42nd Street*

>

> Santa is nearing bankruptcy, paying for all those gifts every year. So, he gets a Broadway producer to put on a benefit musical to bail him out. Of course the star sprains her ankle at the last minute, and they find her understudy, but she's drunk as a skunk. Kris Kringle just happens to know her lines, and the show must go on... It's a smash success, goes on tour, gets bags of fan mail with contributions, and so Santa is set for Christmases to come.

 

"Kringle, you listen to me, and you listen hard. Two hundred people, two hundred jobs, two hundred thousand dollars, five weeks of grind and blood and sweat depend upon you. It's the lives of all these people who've worked with you, not to mention all the world's children and the elves and the reindeer... All right, now I'm through, but you keep your feet on the ground and your head on those shoulders of yours and that belly like a bowl full of jelly and go out, and Kringle, you're going out a jolly old elf but you've got to come back a star!"

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<ahttp://i.ytimg.com/vi/uANa13fPJhU/0.jpg>

Yuck it up while you still can, Mr. Sherwin Williams Twinkle Toes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*An American Stiff in Paris*

 

Acerbic wit Oscar Levant is tired of playing second piano to guys like Gene Kelly,

so he decides to take Gene out. By happenstance, he learns that the French Ministry

of Culture is initiating a program to get rid of second-rate American painters, so

the field will be left open for second-rate French painters. As Oscar quips just before

he pulls the trigger "C'est la mort."

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*Johnny Allegro-Angel-Apollo-Eager.*

 

In which several gangsters on the down-low move to Utah to live out their film noir dream once that state passed a polygamous gay marriage statute, mowing down all competition with their tommy guns.

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*Repulsion of the Wolfman*

 

The Wolfman claws his way through the wrong door - he is beaten and slashed to death by a sexually repressed psychotic blond.

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*HANNAH AND HER DAUGHTERS COURAGEOUS*

In this sequel to the 1976 Woody Allen film, Hannah has adopted three young girls and is trying to bring them up without the help of either Claude Rains or Michael Caine. Things are humming along smoothly until one of the daughters falls in love with a John Garfield look-alike who thinks he has a brain tumour. When medical tests reveal that he is in fact in perfect health, he persuades Max Von Sydow to teach art to his fiance while he runs away with the youngest daughter, leaving Hannah to pore alone over her accolades from the 1970s.

 

Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 4, 2010 7:40 PM

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snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarfs-1.jpg

You've made your running dog imperialist bed, now lie in it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Snow White and the Seven Height Challenged Individuals*

 

When cousin Militant visits from the big city, he tells his cousins that they are getting a

raw deal, working all day while Snow stays at home and daydreams. He convinces

them to get her a working (without whistling) or else they'll start making it known around

town why Snow White is a huge misnomer.

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OUR DANCING DAUGHTERS COURAGEOUS (thanks misswonderly)

 

Starring Joan Crawford, Anita Page, Nils Asther, Johnny Mack Brown, John Garfield and various Lane sisters, as they fight to find the correct romantic pairings as well as best Charleston dancers, all the while trying to maintain their virtue.

 

Followed by various sequels and semi-sequels.

 

Edited by: Arturo on Jul 7, 2010 5:31 PM

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pk_obit_steiger_b_w.jpg

Now, just between me and you...okay MR Tibbs, think I could

get a part in this thing?

 

 

 

*In the Heat of the Night at the Opera*

 

A traveling opera company from Harlem's bus breaks down in Sparta, Mississippi on its

way to New Orleans, where they are scheduled to perform Porgy and Bess. The only

way they can raise enough money to repair the bus is to give a performance in Sparta.

Summertime, and the living ain't easy.

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*Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House on Haunted Hill* -- An advertising exec picks the absolute worst building site ever.

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*Two Donnies - Brasco and Darko*

 

Mafia captain Al Pacino doesn't realize that his protegee, Donnie Brasco, is really Donnie Darko, who is working for a giant demonic rabbit, intent on taking control of the Mafia.

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darko.jpg

 

"I'm telling you, it'll be a cinch for me to infiltrate

the mob and take over. One look at me and they'll

be scared out of their socks."

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