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flickerknickers

Worst Movie Musical Ever Made!

128 posts in this topic

One thing, Rocky Horror picture show as a musical, in the sense like Singin' in the Rain is a musical, really isn't all that great. But to see people do imitations of the time warp is pretty funny.

 

But my least favorite musical ever is Two Tickets To Broadway with Janet Leigh. There is a song called petroleum-yum-yum-yum. I watched with my sister, we were sitting there thinking how bad this was.

 

Funny Face isn't bad, but Audrey Hepburn can't sing, and I sit there throughout the whole film cringing because of her voice.

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First, I love great musicals. I love the kind that make you feel how great it would be to be a Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire or Cagney or more recent versions that make you want to sing and dance. (Which I don't recommend on street corners hanging from lampposts because there really is something weird about that.)

 

However, there have been a number of what I would consider bad musicals. I won't go after ones where the music is totally unforgettable, that would be too easy. I want to go after the bigger name ones. The kind where you go, "What were they thinking?"

 

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (I am spelling that wrong, I think). It just doesn't get to me.

 

A Chorus Line movie version - I love the Broadway show but they not only screwed this up by putting Richard Attenborough in as director, they took the show outside the theater.

 

Staying Alive - ah, too easy. Just horrendously bad dance numbers.

 

South Pacific - Could have been okay but for those color filters.

 

Finian's Rainbow - Except for the tunes, this was a never-should-have-been-made film.

 

Xanadu

 

Can't Stop the Music

 

Lost Horizon - oh, puleeze. Starring those great musical stars, Peter Finch, Sally Kellerman, George Kennedy, Michael York, and Liv Ullman.

 

The list is much longer.

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filmlover,

 

Quote:

"The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (I am spelling that wrong, I think). It just doesn't get to me. "

 

My mother really likes "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg" (she has mentioned how much she enjoys the movie many, many times). I almost always understand her opinion about a show biz thing--movie, stage play, performer. Her positive opinion of "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg"? I do not understand.

 

I have watched "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg" one and one-half times. The first time was thirty-five years ago at a theater that showed a lot of 'vintage' films. I did not enjoy it at that time. The one-half time was a TCM broadcast. I could not sit through the thing.

 

I ought to ask my mom what she enjoys about "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg", but I don't want to spend the money on a long distance phone call.

 

Better to post in this thread. Anyone who likes "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg"--what do you think makes it worthwhile as a movie musical?

 

Rusty

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Oh yeah...watching "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg" in the theater? Why I had to sit through the whole thing? I went to the movie with mom.

 

Rusty

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I'm one of those freaks that likes The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. And for some reason, even those all the dialogue is sung, I don't consider it a musical. It's more of a modern day opera. The reason I like it so much is the visual delight that it is. The cotton candy colors and the setting in a working town like Cherbourg just seem a little surreal to me. I do like the songs even though I don't understand French (I guess it's because I remember the English versions that were somewhat popular back in the 60's. Plus, the leads (Catherine Denueve and the guy whose name escapes me) were really sweet as a couple until they are driven apart. And it has a bittersweet ending that is so typical of most French films. I just think that the French do cinema so well.

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filmlover -

 

I agree with your entire list, with one exception. I enjoyed "Umbrellas of Cherbourg" very much. Catherine, the scenery and the music - yes, I liked it all.

 

My biggest disappointment was "A Chorus Line," although it's not the worst musical ever made. It was just a great personal disappointment to me. I see they're doing a revival on Broadway - I hope they do it right and it's a smash all over again.

 

Ralph

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helenwheels,

 

Thank you for the reply. I am wondering why I never thought of "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg" as an opera. Maybe, I associate opera with Mozart, Verdi, Puccini...even Gilbert and Sullivan. Not "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg". My negative opinion is presentation, not music--so, next time it is broadcast, I will 'check out' "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg"...with opera in mind.

 

Mom is usually right.

 

Quote:

"I just think that the French do cinema so well."

 

Oh, I agree! One of the reasons I signed up with Netflix was access to French films. I had seen a few--"Forbidden Games", "Grand Illusion", "Wages of Fear". Since renting several mid-twentieth century French films ("Casque d'or", "Touchez Pas Au Grisbi", "L'Atalante", "Le Quai des Brumes", "Children of Paradise"), I've gained an appreciation of the story-telling skills of French filmmakers. For the next few months, my Netflix queue is peppered with available Jean Gabin DVDs.

 

BTW: I noted in another thread--Ralph mentioned you changed your screen name to "helenwheels"? "helenwheels" was a good choice. My screen name goes back to those bad old "AOL" days...I entered 25 screen names before I gave up and let the AOL service tell me what it wanted to give me. I never updated my screen name when TCM forums dumped AOL.

 

Rusty

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Proud of you Jar five. Props that I bring are a flashlight,newspaper,Hot dogs,

Rice, water pistol, raincoat,

You wear a paper news paper hat during There is a LIght. Wear a raincoat, flash a flashlight. Wave it around and have fun.

You throw rice during the wedding, some theaters have coniffitti.

When they say Your a Hot Dog, toss a dog lol.

I think you get the picture, sorry(no pun intented.)

If you dress in Character you only do what your character does, I usually dress as the house keeper and it get really hard to find fish net stockings.

I am so happy that you experience RHPS. I keep on wanting to see Pricilla Queen of the Desert. Hopefully I will this summer. It is a totally different scene.

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> {quote:title=john32404 wrote:}{quote}

> Does anyone remember the 1976 US-Russian co-production, "The Blue Bird", with Jane Fonda, Elizabeth Taylor, Ava Gardner, Cicely Tyson, James Coco, and many others? I recall being fascinated by this as a child but think I knew, even then, it wasn't because it was one of the great musicals.

>

> Otherwise, my list (in no particular order):

>

> 1967's Rex Harrison monstrosity, "Dr Doolittle"

> "At Long Last Love", with tone-deaf Burt Reynolds and Cybill Shepherd (who actually now has an attractive singing voice), as well as Eileen Brennan, among others who had the misfortune of crossing Peter Bogdanovich's path

>

> "Tommy" & "The Wall" - ah, rock opera...that sound you hear is the bottom of the barrel being scraped

>

> "Gentlemen Marry Brunettes" - I love Jane Russell but this is one sequel that never should have been

>

> "The Opposite Sex" - a wretched musical remake of "The Woman", starring a flat (if not altogether off-key) June Allyson (complete with butch haircut) and Joan Collins, who is positively arthritic in her one 'dance' number

>

> "Jesus Christ Superstar", "Evita" and "Phantom of the Opera" - Andrew Lloyd Webber strikes again!

>

> "Glitter", starring talentless, overblown windbag Mariah Carey and Mark Wahlberg-wannabe Max Beasley in yet another rip-off of "A Star Is Born"

>

> "Newsies" - Disney at its worst, it features not a single redeeming scene or song

>

> "Roller Boogie" - a cheap quickie made to capitalise on the late 70's love affair with rollerskating

>

> "Rocky Horror Picture Show" - hate hate hate this film

>

> "You Got Served" - a hip-hop/rap (ahem) "music" film that's little more than a modern-day take on those old Judy Garland-Mickey Rooney "let's put on a musical!" films, it's all street "dancing" (which I'm not fond of) and street slang, most of which seems far, far removed from the English language as we know it

>

> "Guys & Dolls" and "Brigadoon" - I really wanted to like these but they leave me ice cold every time

>

> "De-Lovely" - oh, how I looked forward to this...only to be sorely disappointed in nearly everything it had to offer

>

> "Everyone Says I Love You" - a Woody Allen nightmare, redeemed only by Goldie Hawn, who can actually carry a tune (WORST offender: Julia Roberts, who sings like a frog with a sore throat)

>

> Any film starring Prince, but most especially "Under the Cherry Moon" and "Graffiti Bridge". Virtually unwatchable, due mostly to Prince, his "music" and his inexplicably inflated ego

>

> Those hokey old Jeanette MacDonald/Nelson Eddy flicks - I've never, and I mean NEVER, been able to sit through one in its entirety; like Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson, these two old turkeys make me want to scratch someone's eyes out!

>

> "Grease 2" - whatever spirit the original had, this one destroyed

>

> "Staying Alive" - Sylvester Stallone and John Travolta, in which both allow their penchant for lousy movie-making to run rampant. Watch and be amazed at what ego and too much power can do to a career!

>

> "Rhinestone" - you gotta love Dolly Parton (goodness knows I do) but she and Sylester Stallone (again!) have zero chemistry; worse yet, he "sings". Enough said.

>

> "Camelot", "Man of La Mancha", "Mame", "A Chorus Line"

>

> "Annie" - there's a reason John Huston direced only one musical in his lifetime

>

> Robert Altman's "Popeye", of which there are NO redeeming qualities whatsoever

>

> For sheer camp, you can't beat "Can't Stop the Music", "Xanadu", "The Apple", and "Sextette" - they're laugh-out-loud classics!

 

 

Take off *Mame* and *Xanadu*, which I would agree are far from excellent, but I still like them, and add *Moulin Rouge* (the worst movie ever made), and you pretty much have my list of worst, as well.

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I am going to look into my crystal ball and boldly predict that upon its release, *High School Musical 3: Senior Year* will immediately be recognized as the worst movie musical in the history of cinema.

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*_Hairspray_ (2007) W./John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken! Simply horrid! The worst film of 2007, right next to the Re-Make of "_Halloween_" (2007) By Rob Zombie!*

 

*West Side Story (1961)*

*Newsies*

*From Justin to Kelly*

*Grease 2*

*The Apple*

*South Pacific*

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> {quote:title=ILoveRayMilland wrote:}{quote}

> Whoa! "Guys And Dolls" is AMAZING! I love it! It is definitely classic!

 

Might be a bit of an acquired taste, I happen to like it just fine but I've heard a lot of people who are totally dismissive about it.

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oh boy, i could never think a musical was horrible! i love music too much to dis too much on any musical, but there are a few that arent exactly the best and dont have so great of music. i do have a couple least favorite musicals, but not many. heehee! i dont think i could name them though. but i wish when people make a musical, that they would put their best into it, the show deserves as much attention, and when the most effort isnt put into a musical, for me, thats letting me down, b/c i love them so much.

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>{quote:title=CelluloidKid wrote:}{quote} From Justin to Kelly

 

Whoa! Back up the truck. You actually watched that piece of crap? That explains alot... ;)

 

>Newsies

 

Hey, I don't care if it sucked as a musical(and it did suck), but I'll watch anything just to catch a glimpse of Christian Bale.

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*I watched 10 minutes of _From Justin to Kelly_ (2003) when it came on Tv, one night. So Shoot me! I never ever would pay money to see this in a theater. LOL..I never even watched "American Idol"!*

 

 

*The only reason ...& "THE ONLY REASON" I ever watched "Newsies" (1992) was for Christian Bale, & he couldn't save the film. I haven't laughed so hard at a movie in a long time!*

 

*I'm sorry but I didn't like "_Guys and Dolls_" (1955). Marlon Brando singing freaks me out! It's unnatural and very wrong! Gene Kelly was sought for the role of Sky Masterson, but MGM refused to loan that actor to the Samuel Goldwyn production, & for once I think the studio screwed up, & should have let Gene have Brando's role!*

 

*As for in _Moulin Rouge!_ (2001) I loved it!*

 

 

*Other "_Worst Musical's_":*

 

*_The Phantom of the Opera_ (2004) - My mother and I had a split opinion on this. She was a fan, a really huge fan of _The Phantom of the Opera_ from the silent film, all to the musical on stage.*

*My mom & I even saw it in London W./Micahel Crawford, but as for a movie based on the Broadway Musical...Horrid. It was "Batman" Meets Liberace! My mother saw it as a love story, I saw it as a really silly story.*

 

 

*_Rent_ (2005) --Never translated well off the stage and onto screen. Another film I hated. 1 film I added to my "Worst Films of 2005" list!*

 

 

*_Oklahoma!_ - Rodgers and Hammerstein just bug me!*

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*Per Wikipedia:*

 

*_From Justin to Kelly_ is considered to be one of the worst films ever made. It also received a negative review from almost every film critic, earning 9% on website Rotten Tomatoes and winning the Golden Raspberry Award in 2005 for Worst 'Musical' of Our First 25 Years.*

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