Bogie56

Great One-Liners

1,133 posts in this topic

Eugene in BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS:

"I'll never make it with the Yankees. All the great Yankees are Italian. My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup - what chance do I have? "

Anyone else have a favorite Neil Simon zinger?

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Well, MINE was always the one in THE ODD COUPLE in which Oscar, at one point, says to Felix, "If you have something on your chest besides your CHIN, then get it off!"  :D 

Sepiatone

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"Short Circuit" (1986)

Howard Marner..... What if it goes out and melts down a bus load of nuns? How would you like to write the headline on that one?

Benjamin Jabituya....Nun's soup?

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"Armageddon" (1998)

Dr Ronald Quincy.....You could fire every nuke you've got on her, she'll just smile at you and keep on coming. 

quincy.jpg

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Another one.

"Armageddon" (1998)

Karl (amateur astronomer).....I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking b_tch from which there is no escape.

1813.png

:lol:

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"The Last Jedi" (2017)  talking about the useless stupid helmet (got asthma? :lol:)

Snoke....Take that ridiculous thing off.

dd03dc21-4929-4829-b93c-c2fc423ba181_scr

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Cary Grant to Leslie Caron in FATHER GOOSE:

" So far, you've shared me out of my clothes, my food and my house. Now, how about sharing some of my things with me?"

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"Solo" (2018)  talking to Solo sitting in the co-pilot seat.

L3-37....Get you presumptuous a__ out of my seat.

 

Screen-Shot-2018-05-10-at-7.39.04-AM.png

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"South Park - Ladder to Heaven" (2002) George Bush trying to convince the UN why heaven should be bombed (Saddam / WMD)

UN Delegate....Are you high, or just incredibly stupid?

:lol:

south-park-s06e12c12-the-case-for-war-16

 

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"Gods Not Dead" (2014)  

All the students, one by one.....God's not dead.

Such a beautiful scene. :)

maxresdefault.jpg

 

Had a wonderful (near) ending regarding the professor.

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"Battle For Sevastopol" (2015)  speaking to the media and others in Chicago after tearing up the Soviet ready made speech, in her own words asking for a 2nd front in Europe....

Lyudmila Pavlichenko....... Gentlemen, I am 25 years old and I have killed 309 fascist invaders by now. Don't you think, gentlemen, that you have been hiding behind my back for too long?

2ec3csw.png

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I call my best goil, 'my melancholy baby' (she's got a head like a melon, a face like a collie, and one tooth like a baby).

Her ancestors came west in a covered wagon (if you saw her ancestors, you'd know why the wagon was covered)

 

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6 hours ago, Sgt_Markoff said:

I call my best goil, 'my melancholy baby' (she's got a head like a melon, a face like a collie, and one tooth like a baby).

Her ancestors came west in a covered wagon (if you saw her ancestors, you'd know why the wagon was covered)

 

What movie this quote is from?

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It's from my favorite vaudeville team, Shelton & Howard. They excelled with material like this. I know probably two dozen of these zingers by heart.

"My goil-friend has teeth like pearls...but, they need re-stringing"

"That's nothin, my goil has 'western teeth'. Western teeth? Yeah...wide-open-spaces."

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11 hours ago, Sgt_Markoff said:

It's from my favorite vaudeville team, Shelton & Howard. They excelled with material like this. I know probably two dozen of these zingers by heart.

"My goil-friend has teeth like pearls...but, they need re-stringing"

"That's nothin, my goil has 'western teeth'. Western teeth? Yeah...wide-open-spaces."

I've only seen one vaudeville dual, "Shaw and Lee - The Beau Brummels" on disc 3 on "The Jazz Singer" special edition release which is a collection of Vitaphone shorts.

Most of their song was about a girl ...she was four eyes, all sort of eyes...

220px-Shaw_&_Lee_in_1928's_The_Beau_Brum

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGtHHg9qDBzntlxxmcrTS

 

Trivia, there's a myth movies killed vaudeville, actually it was sound that did it in.  Silents had no effect.

On the "Jazz Singer" disc #2, it was noted Shaw and Lee didn't know they were helping to cut their own throats by appearing in the Vitaphone short.

Edited by hamradio
Typo /grammar

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"Keir Dullea ...gone tomorrow"

--Noel Coward on set of Otto Preminger's "Bunny Lake is Missing"

:o

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"All in The Family" (TV series)

Edith Bunker....Remember sister Kate Archie?

Archie Bunker....That was that dumb movie about nuns starring Ingrid Bernstein.

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Another good Archie Bunker line:

"Like the Good Book says,'Let him who is without sin... be the rollin' stone.' "

 
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2 hours ago, sagebrush said:

Another good Archie Bunker line:

"Like the Good Book says,'Let him who is without sin... be the rollin' stone.' "

 

 Trying to think how that would work.

xl_rolling_stones_trade_opener_05792_150

 

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Sometimes, it was EDITH in "All In The Family" that had the best lines.  Like everybody's favorite about her approving of capital punishment;

"As long as it ain't too severe!"   :D  

Sepiatone

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Or the one where she attends Mike Nichols' controversial flick and comes back all flustered. She thought she was going to see a movie about the Pope. ("Cardinal Knowledge").

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