Fedya

Tentacles (1977). Something's killing people off the coast of California. Journalist John Huston thinks Henry Fonda's company has something to do with it. Oceanographer Bo Hopkins investigates. It turns out that something is a giant octopus. Shelley Winters plays Huston's wife; Cesare Danova is Fonda's flunkie, and Claude Akins is the sheriff. This is the sort of movie you watch with a bunch of friends and a big bowl of popcorn, laughing at the ludicrousness of it all. Poor Fonda is underused; Huston isn't directing so he doesn't get to be self-indulgent; and Winters is in typical later career mode. Winters is also the subject of the film's best lines. At one point her young son (too young for her; Winters was 56 at the time she made the movie and the kid was 10) and his friend are signing up for the junior regatta, and Winters says she wishes she could be on the boat with them. The friend replies, "Then we'd need a tornado to move the boat!" 5/10. Not as bad as most reviews would have you believe, but something you watch because it's so dumb.

Is There Own Desire the one where Shearer and Montgomery get stuck on an island in Lake Michigan with everybody looking for them? There's an early talkie like that, but I can't remember which one it is.

I would have gone with the other PC:

You can have Linux on a PC, which is after all just a desktop computer. I'm running dual-boot, although I never boot into Windows.

From the horse's mouth: I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.

Or course, Bob Hope would have been 37 when he made Caught in the Draft, so he wouldn't have been draft-eligible anyway.

I've got your Hit Man:

So you're going to change your name from "Sepiatone" to "Burntsiennatone" or "Rawumbertone"?

If you ain't paintin' Wham, you ain't paintin' ham!

I'm looking forward to Million Dollar Legs myself.

Anybody with taste prefers the 1935 Mutiny on the Bounty.

Zero. I don't think TCM ran a single feature during the Robert Osborne tribute last year.

Dennis Morgan's singing is precisely why I hated Tear Gas Squad.

Isao Tomita's electronica version of Debussy's Arabesque was for decades the theme to Jack Horkheimer's Star Hustler on PBS (at least until Horkheimer retired).

Yeah, but you can go drunk driving with it and wind up with Sterling Hayden. (Movie casting really offers up some bizarre couples, doesn't it?)

They also put acetaminophen in Vicodin so that people would die of liver poisoning before ODing. When will the UN do a movie on how the blue helmets rape children?

Men are hung. Murderers are hanged.

You've got no music and no man. Who could ask for anything less?

You should watch the early 30s Joe E. Brown movie Broadminded. The opening scene is of a "baby party", in which the participants dressed up as and acted like babies. Joe E. Brown is in a carriage asking for his bottle.

That implies they were good at one point.

For the part about Richard Pryor and Marlon Brando?

Robert Wise claimed Welles' cut wasn't any better, although of course Wise wasn't a disinterested observer in this matter.

Millie (1931). Helen Twelvetrees stars in this thoroughly unmodern movie as a woman who flits from one lover to the next, leaving each time when she finds the guy is cheating on her. She got married to the first lover and had a daughter by him before divorcing him and letting his rich family bring up the girl. Time passes, and the daughter (Anita Louise) is now 16 years old. One of the former lovers (not the girl's Dad) decides he's going to start going to church so he can perv on Millie's daughter! When Millie finds out, she shoots the guy! I'd say shades of Madame X, except that the daughter knows it's Mom who shot him. Mom doesn't want to reveal what really happened at the trial, however. Twelvetrees does her best with the idiotic material. Frank McHugh and Joan Blondell have early supporting roles. 5/10.

Q: Did you hear about the man who went for a walk in the London fog and was never seen again? A: He disappeared into thick air.

It exists?