rohanaka
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Posts posted by rohanaka
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Howdy there, Ms. Favell...
I think Frank Grimes was the one who said that the problem for a lot of people with Duke was that they only remember him from the late sixties films or interviews, when he was more representative of bombast than of anything else.
Oh as much as it leaves a "sawdusty" taste in my mouth to ADMIT it
(ha) I think the Grey Dude has a good point, and I believe he is right. I imagine one of the main reasons most people pass by Wayne as any sort of serious actor is for much of the reason you've mentioned above. Mostly it is a "pre-conceived" image perhaps that people have of him as just a loud, over the top, cowboy, perhaps... A shootin' em up and knockin' em down kinda guy. Fun to watch sometimes, but not much of an actor. And unless they explore past that 'preconceived" image they have of him, they miss out on the bulk of his real acting career and his true talent. And wow... I love what you have said about him here:
I am constantly shocked at how human and real he can be. His range is large, encompassing compassion, jocularity, friendship, confusion, sensitivity, hurt, and even fear. I don't think many folks see these performances - and thus miss that really wonderful sensitivity he shows many, many times. In fact, that is the one trait that I would say makes Wayne a wonderful actor, and it is the single trait that puts me in the palm of his hand every time.
You truly have grasped some of his finer qualities as an actor. One other thing that I have come to truly appreciate about him in more recent years is his ability to react without speaking. His face is a BOOK filled with all those emotions you listed above. He can register happiness and enthusiasm one moment and then go to the depths of absolute despair all without saying a single word. (OH.. and his dark, brooding, menacing stare... yikes) ha. But it is the tender, more sensitive, and perhaps "hurt" look that he can bring out in his expression that will bust me out bawlin' every time. He truly does, as you say, put me in the palm of his hand.
PS: if you had told me in college that I would consider John Wayne to be among my favorite actors because of his depth, I would have cracked you on the noggin with a large stick!
Ha... I guess that would make the Duke YOUR "tomato"!! (ha)
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GALAXY QUEST!
This movie is one of my favorite guilty pleasures
Hi there Jackie.... I am glad to hear I am not alone!! (ha)
I have always been something of (gasp.. dare I admit it?) a "Next Generation" junkie.. ha. (maybe ONE level short of a true "Trekie" ha) So I enjoyed this movie very much. We have it on VHS and it is a lot of fun. (although we have not really felt too comfortable letting the kidling watch it yet... but she is likely just about old enough now) Anyway.. it has been a while since I saw it last.
I love the whole concept of the story line and the characters too. It is a great job by Rickman... I love how he "loathes" his alter ego.. and then comes to embrace it.
(Oh.. my favorite part though.... ha. THE ROCK!!) Too funny.
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Hi, Miss Nightingale
HA! (not by a long shot... but thanks!) :-)
Wowsa Miss G...RE: "The Uninvited" comparison... that's some mighty good "'splain'in"... ha. I really like how you laid it all out for me. Based on the scenarios you have given, I can see why you made the comparison. I will keep that in mind for future reference.
What I do recall of the movie is very little in terms of content... but I have stronger recollections for some of the "moodiness". (and I do recall my beloved Beulah being ONE mean old gal, ha) And I DO hope you get to read the book. You are good about filling in the gaps for me when the movie leaves out details... I will be waiting to hear more about it. (and as for me gettting to see the movie.. ha... SOMEDAY. I DID finally manage to watch (woo hoo) Drums Along the Mohawk this past weekend.. YIPPEE. So maybe there is hope for me yet... ha!)
(And PS... you and Jackie are making me so happy.. ha.I love hearing the appreciation you have for the Duke's acting abilities... especially when it comes to giving such depth to some of his characters. He really is one actor that has a lot more to him than many folks realize. I have only come to truly appreciate some of this quality his acting in more recent years as I have "expanded" my Duke horizons, ha. I always knew I liked him as an actor... but I am happier now to see and understand more or the reasons why)
Edited by: rohanaka on May 17, 2010 10:30 PM
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you know what movie it's reminding of now
The Uninvited?? As in the one w/ Ray Milland? The creepy, scary, (I love it) ghost story movie????
'Splain it to me, missy. I have only seen just a portion (probably not even half) of SOTH... and that was about a gazillion years ago... so I cannot come up w/ any sort of frame of reference. Inquiring minds wanna know. :-)
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Well.. I gotta confess.. In re-reading some of this thread, I was a bit of a "whiner" last year about some of the choices that were used to introduce classic film to "kids". So I will not be negligent in saying thanks to the powers that be for your selection this time around!
I think you programming guru folks have made some really fun choices this year!! You have a nicely rounded selection too. (something for almost every age group... and even ones that moms and dad will enjoy too) Thanks very much!
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HAPPY 22 GRAND (grand) posts, little lady!! Every one a gem!!
PS: here... Mr. Hitchcock is giving us a "suggestion" as to how to best deal w/ the Grey Dude's wrongheaded "22" wisecrack.
HA!!! 
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(I've missed you.)
Ok... now you are going to make me bawl. (ha)
I miss you and all my Ramblin' pals too. (PS: two more weeks to go and then MAYBE my little adventure will be almost done. At least I hope so anyway. And then I will look forward to a good old fashioned ramble with you folks sometime)
Until then.... COOKIES FOR EVERYBODY!!!
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OH wow.. nothing to add except that this is QUITE the eye opening chat. I have been so dadgum busy latley that this whole entire thead has more or less passed me by. I see I have a LOT of reading to do.
Sorry for the interruption.... Carry on, folks! :-)
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Aw shucks, you make me blush, gals. :-) Twern't nothin'. Just a little "goofiness" leaking out of my weary and overtaxed brain. (And PS: I mean that "overtaxed" part literally and figuratively, but I digress. HA.)
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You just described the remake of 3:10 to Yuma
HA!!!! Believe it or not I MISSED that one (duh) when they aired it a few weeks ago I think it was on the USA network. (or maybe TNT) I wanted to try and catch it because I had FINALLY decided I would give it a try after all the mixed reviews I kept hearing. However... I DID get to see the infamous ENDING that the Grey Dude seemed to think I was too "weak stomached" to handle... what a bloodbath. Although it was not as bad as I THOUGHT it was going to be. But you are right.. ha. I DID just describe that movie... (at least based on what I saw of it) HA! Although I do have to confess I liked Russell Crowe's exit more than I liked Christian Bale's. (I think I'll stick w/ Glenn and Van, ha)
PS Jackie: You are right. Ha. Sterling does look a bit like a fish out of water. ha. My fave of all that group is a tie between Spencer Tracy and Walter Huston. ha. (I am leaning toward Walter because he just looks like he is up to something, ha)
PS: Mr Movieman: Haven't we met?
HA! You DO seem familiar to me.. ha. MY NAME IS NOBODY. ha. I am not sure, but I think I have run into you before...
Aren't you that MAN OF THE WEST I met once on the STAGECOACH? Or were you THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALENCE?
Or perhaps we met at that OXBOW INCIDENT (ha) when I was standing over by THE HANGING TREE. I used to hang out (ha) with THE SONS OF KATIE ELDER, SHANE, MCLINTOCK, and all THE COWBOYS there. Those guys really were a RARE BREED, but at least they all had TRUE GRIT.
I know I have heard your name. Do you know THE CATTLE QUEEN OF MONTANA? Or are you friends with BIG JAKE or THE MAN FROM LARAMIE?
Or I know.. wasn't that you I sat next to during that long train ride on the UNION PACIFIC?
Or perhaps we met when I was the WAGON MASTER and headed out for the BIG TRAIL. That was the trip when we took that wide turn at the BEND OF THE RIVER that led to SILVERADO.
Or maybe we met at HIGH NOON just before that GUNFIGHT AT THE OK CORRAL.
Or say, were you ever a HORSE SOLDIER? Or maybe you were assigned to the Cavalry at FT. APACHE????
(Ok, I'll stop now.. ha... Aren't you sorry you asked??) HA!!
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Hey there, Miss G!! :-)
it's a shame they really don't make them like they used to, and give these men more chances to act on the BIG screen. But people today like little boys instead of men.
I agree... sad but true. (And you are right about the Little boys instead of men too... and there has to be at least 10 gallons of bloodshed for every character along w/ about fifty or sixty "F-bombs" per minute. BAH!)
Doesn't William Farnum sort of look like Johnny Cash in that still below?
HA!! He does.. (or maybe Johnny Cash sort of looked like HIM!) ha.
never heard of it but it has quite a decent cast.
The other is one that Jackie alerted me to when she posted a still from it: A Man Betrayed (1941, aka Wheel of Fortune).
I missed Jackie's post on that film. I am still working my way backward (I have a lot of catching up to do). Well now that gives us two more to look forward to... SOMEDAY. :-) We'll have to keep our eyes peeled. (ick.. I never liked that expression.. ha)
He seems to have visited Dana Andrews' barber
Ha... that's IT. ha. I think you have it. Maybe all the barbers back then went to The Dana Andrews School of Hair, ha.
PS: In my "catching up" I noticed your pic of Orson Welles.. I love it!! (ha.. but the title.. Man in the Shadows" ha.. that sounds almost too "Grimey" doesn't it???)
PS.. OH WOW!!!! I just saw your link to the Duke stuff!!! OH BOY!!
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Here's the cowboy I find most interesting.
Hey there, my little OK Kid!'
That was SOME interesting reading on Thomson. (and some really terrific pictures too) He's a new name for me that I had never even heard of before. What a sad story (and especially sad tale about his films as well) But it is good to see that despite how things MIGHT have happened, he is still abled to be remembered today.
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wowsa.. what a nice mix of pics little darlin'. :-)
(I even love that you have Tom Selleck in there.. I think he does pretty good in some of those cowboy roles... of the more modern day westerns, some of his are among my more "enjoyed".)
PS: What can you tell me about War of the Wildcats? That is a new name for me....
PSS... is it just me, or does it look like Robert Young needs a HAIRCUT? ha. I never reaized he was so "wavy" HA!
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When you click on a posters user name, that takes you to their profile page. What I think should be displayed is all of that user names current or past incarnations for everyone to see.
So if Woman_X was known in a previous life here on the boards as Man_X, and Boy_X and Girl_X, then that should be included in their profile. Then at least we would all know for certain that this poster has had a previous life here and that he/she had been banned before.
That is an excellent suggestion Mr Reyman.... and one that I would think could be implemented NOW (without too much effort) but what do I know? I am certainly no "computer guru". But gee, just imagine how LONG the list on some user profiles would have to be for "current names" and/or "past names". It could be a lengthy list to sort through, but I imagine it would make for some very interesting and entertaining reading.
And I wonder (since not all "old identities are "banned" ones... like my former username, for instance) if there could even be information included in the profile to show when a specific username's last post was made (in order to determine how many "active" identites one person really has on the board at any given time) Or maybe any still open mulitple usernames (again, like mine) that have gone "unused" for say a year,could perhaps be labled as "inactive".
It would at least be a way that folks could stand a better chance to honestly see who they were REALLY talking to on a day to day basis (and if they had already had the same conversation with that same person before... just under a different name)
Even more interesting is the thought of how entertaining it would be to see for real how many user names were really just the same person talking to themselves. (But what can I say? I am easily entertained)
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Yes, we definitely have room for you
Hahahahahahahaha!!! Just don't call me "honey" HA!!!
PS... I had no idea that there even was an "original" for Gaslight. I love the Ingrid version a lot... but after your excellent posts.. I am thinking I need to check out this one too. Thanks for the tip, little darlin'.
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How' do, Miss G!! :-)
how McCarey introduces us to the home of Mitchell and Fay Bainter: Somehow, it's all so impersonal and they're squeezed into one of those "blocks" like pastrami in a sandwich. But ooooh, they are so snooty about their position, ignoring the humiliating aspect of being just a "block" in an impersonal pile of blocks:
You are on the money. He gives us the big picture before he narrows in on the one little "block". Great call on the name tag too. I had forgotten all about that part, but it really does show their mindset. "We are "somebody" among all the "somebodies".
By the way, the mentality of the Coopers still runs rampant here in Manrattan. People who are months behind on their rent in those luxury skyscrapers turn their noses up at the rest of the "peons". Like the Coopers, who give the impression they really are living a bit beyond their means, or else why does Fay have to teach Bridge? They're climbers, or what we call now "wannabe's" alright.
Ugh.. I wish I could say Manhatten had cornered the market on all that "stuffy" stuff... but alas.. even here in hokey cow-town Kansas City, it is running amuck. "If you can't afford it, finance it". That seems to be the name of the game around here. But then, all those little financial chickens come home to roost eventually... and there are all sorts of foreclosed upon higher dollar homes around here to show for it.
"Situational ethics"---that's the first time I've come across that expression...excellent! It's perfect.
Well, I can't take credit for that one, it is a phrase I have heard others use many times. But it really seems to fit a lot of people these days. (but I expect that mindset has always been around somewhere, at any given time in the world.) Still.... it does seem to be a prevailing attitude in many.
Ugh.. ha. I am picturing that Grey Dude coming after both of us with one of those big "hooks" like they used to use in the old vaudeville acts and we are going to get dragged off this soapbox ANY minute now. (ha)
He's been suspiciously quiet...is it because he's planning on yanking our soap boxes from under us?
I see he has peeped out at you here sometime earlier today. Let's go get some super glue for the soles of our shoes, and then we'll DARE him to try and knock us off this box!! (HA!!) He has only been eating saurkraut and sawdust all this time, so I bet he hasn't got enough "gumption" to knock us off if we stand here long enough, ha. (But I will pack an extra hat pin and frozen rope, just in case.)
More people NEED to see this movie
From your lips (I mean keyboard) to the TCM programmer's ears (I mean eyes, ha) :-)
Edited by: rohanaka on Apr 28, 2010 8:55 PM
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Howdy there, Miss G,
> {quote:title=MissGoddess wrote:}{quote}
>
Maurice definitely had Cora's number after the first door slam. I thought Cora's behavior> was so snobbish, and what had SHE to be snobbish about with her raggedy housekeeping
> and unkempt appearance. She's one of those who sweep the dust under the carpets and
> then carry on like a martyr for eternity over how imposed upon she is.
Well it looks like Maurice is not the only one who has Cora's number. (ha) Sweeping the dirt under the rug is exactly what Cora was all about. That is a perfect way to describe her... literally and figuratively.
> The more I contemplate the film from a distance, the more I realize that it's not really
> that McCarey is even handed in his projection of the parents vs. the kids, it's that his
> camera, his depiction, is unobtrusive. He allows, without pusing, the audience to come to the
> conclusion that the kids are truly guilty of inexcusable selfishness.
I think you have fine tuned your earlier remark just right. I agree that the camera more or less tells it all and everything is all laid out in an objective way so we get to see them w/out being told what to think of them. (But the message is loud and clear all the same)
> They can DEFINITELY take them both in with the
> most ease. Unbelievable what people consider "impossible".
That is one of the reasons I think Thomas Mitchell's character appeared to have the most "guilt" on his conscience. I think he was more or less better off than his brother and sisters and he knew that even if it were true that the others could take them (and I agree with you that likely any of them COULD have made it work) but even if they COULDN'T.... I think it was OBVIOUS that he could. (but again, he let his wife and her "snobbery" make his choice for him.
> Scary indeed. Especially since the economic crisis has sent a lot of adult "kids" BACK home
> because they lost everything. One hopes they'll remember the favor when it comes time for
> the parents to be cared for.
It probably will depend on how they "feel" about whether it is right or wrong.... OH golly.. don't even get me started on the "situational ethics" culture. But that is the sad truth of the world we are living in now days.. (picture me, rolling my eyes in disgust) And no.. I am not so naive (or even judgmental) to say that EVERY kid owes that to their parents someday.... but the scenario you painted (where the empty nest comes home... depends on his parents again for support... then flies off again... only to dump mom and dad someday when they need help... well... it IS all about what's best for the "children" now days isn't it.. even when they stop being children... (ok.. push me off the soapbox any time now, ha)
> > PS.. Grey Dude... I hope you will chime in because I KNOW you have got to have some thoughts on all this, what with your city/country grandmas. Don't make me have to tell those sweet gals how you've been slacking off around here.
> Let's not hold our breath.
HA!!!! Yes.. let's not do that.. blue has never been my color!!! ha.
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Ro- I think everyone should have their own room
OH little sweetie... I would glady take EITHER of those lovely rooms... if you are sure I won't be in the way. Someone asked me the other day if "If you could go anywhere you wanted to on vacation, where would it be?" and I said... ha. "TO SLEEP!!" ha.
And PS: I wasn't kidding though.. ha. I'd happily sleep on the window seat just for a few "days of get-a-way".
Edited by: rohanaka on Apr 27, 2010 11:16 AM Because evidently I am so sleepy (ha) I don't know how to POST anything anymore...
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Anyway, I just can't watch it on youtube. I'm snooty that way!
What, are you a youtube snob??????????????????
Here... watch this youtube... Come on... I triple dog dare ya..... HA! It's only a couple of minutes.... you will live through it... Oh and by the way I nearly started to babble on about The Best Years of Our Lives over in the "Information Please" forum, of all places. Then I remembered I still owed you a ramble on that one so I clammed up quick!
GASP!!
Are you keeping that rope cold?
What do YOU think???? Start ramblin' before I have to start ropin'.
It's been a while since our last necktie party. We can make you our guest of honor. -
I'm innocent!
That'll be the day.
I only tell them they are sometimes a burden
The very idea... talking to your beloved grandmas like that. You whippersnapper.
For that you deserve what MY dear (long departed) old grandma called.... a swift kick in... the beautiful morning glory. (HA!) But maybe those sweet ladies will settle for me lending them one of my hatpins to use on you instead. -
Oh... little darlin'.... PLEASE tell me you gals have room for one more. (ha..sounds like an episode of the ZONE, doesnt' it?? ha.) I haven't had a vacation since 1998 (NO kidding) and with all that I have had going on lately... I could really use (ever so very much) a little quiet get away time. ha. I don't even need a room.. ha. I won't take up too much space. (despite reports you may have heard to the contrary, ha) I promise.. Just let me sit in the corner during the day and I will stare out the window at the lovely gardens and just "veg" ha. And then at night you can let me sleep on one of the window seats... or on a blanket on the floor even... I will take anything... I am desperate! ha. (You are talking to a sad, pathetic woman, ha).
I would even work to pay my keep as your maid or housekeeper (just so long as I don't have to do any dishes or scrub any toilets. (ha) Oh wait. ha. I guess that would sort of defy the whole "maid/housekeeper" job description.. ha.) Let's see.. I need to find SOME way to earn my keep... Do you need someone to hold down the furniture?? I could spend a week just lounging around on a cushy couch.
(Did I mention I was sad and pathetic? ha)
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OH little darlin.. you are breaking me up all over again w/ those lovely screencaps. Oh me. You have hit all the most touching moments.
When are we going to take out Cora?
Let's do it. ha. She's going down.
Maurice Moscovich was the kindly Jewish proprietor who saw so much more than he let on, and felt it all. I don't know much about him, but maybe he'd be an interesting candidate for JackFavell's wonderful character actor thread
I thought he was terrific. And yes.. he'd be an excellent one to put on that list of character actors. He was just so "real" in that role. And you are right... he saw MUCH more than he let on. He was a true friend... and the way he stood up to Cora (but not so much as to be rude to her) I thought was terrific. Especially when the chicken soup got "dissed". Something tells me that if we want to take Cora out.. ha.. HE would be the one we'd both have to get in line behind.
Let me call you sweetheart
Im in love with you
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too
Keep the lovelight glowing in your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
Im in love with you..."
Oh now you've done it. Oh golly. That is THE song. I don't know what there was about that song exactly but I just recall my grandma used to sing that alot (and then dance with us) when we were little. And it made me think of her so much. And then it is such an emotional moment in the film too as they are standing there in that ballroom and the music changes JUST as they get to the dance floor (and of couse it is some "jazzy" number they can't dance to... and the bandleader changes the music JUST for them. But when it really hit me was when they start singing it in the taxi. It tipped the scales for me. The emotions were just too real when they were there going to the train station and he is singing just to her. I love when he gets to the part "Let me hear you whisper that you love me too" she looks up at him and whispers, "I love you too" OH gosh.
Here... why should I be the only one crying... go to about 4 minutes and 22 second or so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGaLk6fB6gU&feature=related
You can find yourself dependent on the kindness of strangers at a time in your life when only the familiar can soothe your anxiety, and the familiar recedes more and more daily.
You know "the kindness of strangers" has a ring of truth to it. It is not always the case... because very often people will walk by and NEVER notice those in need around them. But I was thinking that at least in this story... from about the time they go for their walk... and they run into the car salesman... and then they go to that hotel.... all the people they run into treat them better and with greater respect and affection than their own children. They are REAL people to these strangers and they are valued as human beings. No one is looking at them as burdens on society or as being "passed their expiration date". They are treated like they were important. How sad that their own family... the ones who SHOULD love them the most could not have seen the way strangers were treating their parents.. and then maybe they could have taken a lesson or two.
like how honest Thomas Mitchell is about their behavior here, just prior to the
train departure of their parents.
I got a sense that of all of the kids.. he felt the most guilty for what was going on. But not guilty enough to stand up to his wife and do what needed to done.
I also like that the parents took that evening to themselves, and blew off the kids and their faux cheerful "send off" dinner which would have been a horror. It's the one time they didn't "defer" to their kids and to hear them they'd moved heaven and earth to put on this "party" (in Cora's dreary
flat)
OH gosh.. talk about "a last supper" How in the world would ANYONE be able to choke down whatever she was serving with all the things that were going on, meanwhile NO one wanted to talk about it. How ugly a scene that would have been. (and PS: wouldn't you have LOVED to hear whatever it was the dad said to her in his little whisper over the phone?? ha. I bet it was something like.. "Watch out, girl... April and Kathy are coming for you" HA!! (ok.. maybe it wasn't that... but I doubt she would have looked more shocked than she did if he had said that. Ha. I only WISH I could have been a little bug on that phone line, ha.)
Now see where they are walking from as they approach the train car...they are
proceeding out of the "light
That was a great catch... and the darkness that sort of surrounds them at the end too. It really paints a gloomy picture of their future, doesn't it. And you did a great job of capturing Beulah's expressions too as the train is pulling away. TOO heartbreaking. (wasn't she just something? I think this has to be one of my most favorite performances for her)
Fay Bainter, wife of their son Thomas Mitchell, is super as the "long suffering" daughter-in-law who really cares more for appearances and maintaining her position than she does about her family. She's a great example of the kind of selfish behavior that most people will never be aware of in themselves, it has so many "justifications"
She really did do a great job. She was just as two faced as Cora in a way.. but not as openly mean about it. Still... when she does show her true feelings and let loose on the grandma.. OH me. She did feel awfully "justified". And perhaps... MAYBE she had a small point (about how the grandma should have told them about the daughter... but then the grandma should NEVER have been "shipped off" with the daughter in the first place. Still... I think that Fay would have found any reason to unload on her mother in law.. she'd been only "half" holding it in anyway for so long.. and now she was happy to finally have an excuse to let her real feelings fly.
It's amazing how easily this society can shuntle off the elderly into the dark because they can't care for them. The sad part is people made it so that they can't care for them by choosing to create a world where you have work like a dog to keep up with the Joneses and have no time or energy to...to be human toward your folk. Woops! My soap box, how did it get back in here?
You are so right about how people have almost made it so that it impossible to keep "mom and dad" home to be cared for. People do it to themselves as well. Some day the clock will tick down to where it is OUR time to be looked after (or at the very least, assisted.) And then it will be the next generation making those choices for this one. I wonder what sort of lessons they will have learned THEN by observing the way society runs NOW. Kinda scary aint it? (Oh gee.. ha. Now I am on that soapbox with you.. ha.)
I want to thank you again, Miss G for pointing this film out to me. It truly is an almost "lost" treasure. I hope more folks will seek it out and watch. It is so touching and very timely.
PS I want to go back and look at both reviews that got posted (by you and Jackie) but I am going to have to wait until I am not so doggone tired and blurry eyed. ha. This old woman has just about "hit the wall" for my day, ha.
PSS Jackie... I hope YOU have more to say about it all kiddo. (have you finally recovered from that Westward the Women crying fest? ha) In fact I imagine there are several (some you have mentioned already Miss G and maybe others) who could relate to this story.
PS.. Grey Dude... I hope you will chime in because I KNOW you have got to have some thoughts on all this, what with your city/country grandmas. Don't make me have to tell those sweet gals how you've been slacking off around here.
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Hi there little gal...
Just taking a moment between the dusting and vacumming.. (ha) to say that you are so right when you said:
And that children should do this to their parents because they don't want the "inconvenience" is just sad.
You have said it right. Sad, and almost criminal in a way. To take these two loving parents and treat them as if they were not just "burdens of inconvenience" but really less than "second class citizens" OH it really was heartbreaking to see it all play out.
Not to sound in anyway like some sort of authority on the subject, I do have some experience in working (and being around) older folks. And I have spent a lot of time w/ seniors through my own family as well as church and work settings too. Some older folks have very supportive families who are an active and vital part of their lives. And then there are those who do not give them the time of day, let alone help provide for their needs (physical, emotional, or spiritual) And you can really tell the difference in th quality of life many of them lead. (and I am not just talking about "physical" quality although that certainly has a lot to do with it too).
One example really stands out in my mind a lot. There were these two little widow ladies (who are both long since gone) that used to attend our church many years ago. And they are a perfect example of what I am saying. My husband and I spent a lot of time driving the church van picking these two treasures (and a few others) up for Sunday AM and evening (and also Wednesday night) services and we got to know these gals very well.
One lady had three sons (all married) who always had at least ONE member of the family stopping by daily to check in on her, fix stuff around the house, help her w/ her shopping, take her to her doctor appointments, see to her daily needs (and they were many... she was quite elderly, very frail, and about 90% blind) She always talked about the latest things going on in her son's (and grandchildren's lives) and she was alert and vivacious right up to the very end of her life.
The other lady.. had NO visits for years on end from either of her two sons. And only one of the two sons even bothered to call her perhaps as rarely as once ever three or four months. The other boy, she was lucky if she heard from him more than once or twice a year. She had one grandaughter who would call her maybe once every couple of months to say hi.And she would always come to church beaming after she got one of those rare phone calls.. or if one of them managed to remember to send her a birthday or mothers day card. I think one son came to visit her one time for three or four days out of all those years we knew here.. and I am talking at least 9 years.
She had a lot of personal needs that she usually kept to herelf (until they became emergencies) and then folks from church tried to step in to help, but it was always a challenge as she did not like anyone to know she was struggling. And her health was another thing she kept secret.. again I think due to some embarrassment. And despite the fact that we all were checking in with her at least two or three times a week for church functions, etc... and trying to stay on top of what she needed, by the time we all realized she was sick.. she had some very serious health issues that eventually took her life.
Spoiler alert:
Anyway.. what I am getting to is that I firmly believe that it was the families of these two women (and the security (or lack of it) from knowing whether or not they were loved by the ones they loved) that made the difference in their final years. And I think that is true in almost everyone. And in my mind, as the father was getting on that train... all I could think of was "Well.. I wonder which one will die first.. because neither one of them is going to last much longer without the other."
The scene where the mother interrupts the bridge games (with that room full of people) was so awkward to watch... and yet very telling. When she gets that phone call and is standing there trying to have a private conversation in the most PUBLIC place of all... did you see all the different expressions on all the various faces of those people. Some were embarrassed. They had NO clue how to deal with such open emotion on such a social level. Others were offended and you could clearly see how "low" they thought the whole situation was, likely judging their hostess as being less than "upper crust" for having such "homey" family members. Still others were "nostalgic" almost.. likely picturing their own mom and dad and how in love they were. And SOME... (thank goodness) were looking offended for a completely DIFFERENT reason.. you could see them going back and forth between expressions of compassion for the mother... and anger at the son and his wife. And you could tell they were judging their host and hostess for the POOR TREATMENT this dear gray haired lady was receiving. (or at least it looked that way to me)
Interestingly, the director is not altogether condemnatory with the kids, He does not paint them as total monsters
He's just putting out there for us to think about and form our own judgements
I think you are right and it can be seen in the scene I mentioned above. All the different people at that party and their facial expressions (to me) were like all the various attitudes most of our society seems to have even today toward how to deal w/ "mom and dad" as the years go by and time catches up with them all. How one feels about it all (again, to me) is very telling of their character and of who they really are as a person.
Now having said that... I MUST confess... sometimes.. you do reap what you sow. Some parents are so awful and upleasant (and even abusive) to the point that they should not be surprised to find themselves alone at the end of their lives.... but I do not think they are the "norm" of those who are left alone. I think most elderly folks who are neglected late in life are in that situation because their families have "moved on" and now mom and dad are "out of sight, out of mind" It is a tragedy to me to even think such a thing. (golly I am sounding kind of judgemental right now... who do I think I am???)
Cora who I really wanted to slap to kingdom come
Oh wow..you are SO right about Cora. but you know.. to me... although she put on a "public' face for others.... at least to her DAD she was pretty much the most honest of all those kids. NO false pretense of a show of kindness when it was just HIM. She really let him know what a burden she thought he was. OH MY GOLLY was she ever hateful. How DARE her parents.... the ones who gave her life and provided her every need, and loved her all of her days even think to impose themselves on her.. be it one at a time. WHO do they think they are interrupting her life that way. GOOD grief.... stand in line if you want to knock HER around, kid. I am way ahead of you.
Edited by: rohanaka on Apr 23, 2010 12:30 PM
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OH Miss G... Poignant is the right word.
So.. ok... NOTHING I had intended to do around the house tonight (to catch up on my chores..ha) got FINISHED (or even really started.. I am so irresponsible sometimes, ha.) But OH me, oh my.. I had to come back and watch a little more.. and then I watched a little more.. and then by then I was up to part 8 out of 10 and I said... OH for pity's sake.. only 15 or 16 more minutes and I'll be done.. so I stuck with it...
Wow.
I THOUGHT I was doing ok handling the emotions too... because I actually made it almost all the way through w/ mostly dry eyes. It was heartbreaking in places.. but I guess I just was too tired to cry.. ha... because the only time I really got too teary was when the shop keeper friend called his wife into the room to just look at her.. to make sure she was still there. (sob) That sort of got to me.
But I recovered... and kept watching.. and it was painful and emotional... and even humorous in places... but still I am thinking how MAD I was at those kids and their spouses.... so maybe that is what kept my eyes more or less from clouding up.
And then they went for that doggone car ride to that hotel.. and that bandleader had to play THAT song (it has some very emotional ties for me... reminding me of elderly loved ones long since past.. so that alone got me teary eyed) BUT if that wasn't enough... then they had to sing it to each other in the car on the way to the train station.. OH for pity's sake... I am an emotional wreck now. (but I mean that in a good way)
Thank you Miss G for pointing this film out to me. And I have to say I still have a sink full of dirty dishes and NO dusting or vacuming was done tonight... and as a result... it may be a day or two now before I have time to get to at least those two chores....
But oh me.... watta story. (pass me another tissue if you please)
PS Jackie.. hope you get a chance to catch the whole thing sometime... but wait until you get over your "Westward the Women" tears.. :-)
Edited by: rohanaka on Apr 21, 2010 11:49 PM
(ha) I think the Grey Dude has a good point, and I believe he is right. I imagine one of the main reasons most people pass by Wayne as any sort of serious actor is for much of the reason you've mentioned above. Mostly it is a "pre-conceived" image perhaps that people have of him as just a loud, over the top, cowboy, perhaps... A shootin' em up and knockin' em down kinda guy. Fun to watch sometimes, but not much of an actor. And unless they explore past that 'preconceived" image they have of him, they miss out on the bulk of his real acting career and his true talent. 
Western Movie Rambles
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Florence has nothing on you
Ha... I'm not even close to Florence HENDERSON, let alone Nightengale..ha. But thank you, my dear friend for saying that. :-)
The cinematography is breathtaking
It is that. I do recall how gorgeous it was... and the screencaps that have been posted here and elsewhere by you and some others are really telling too. Very breathtaking indeed.
And PS: ha.. I am with you.. despite how much I love so many of his movies, I have never been all that "romantic" about my opinions of the Duke. I just never felt that way about him.. but this film AND The Big Trail (and maybe even Stagecoach and Hondo too) Shall I just say, "WOO WEE!" Ha.
And I'm so glad you saw "Drums"! I can't wait to read your take on it when you get the time.
I will try to see if I can get something semi-coherent about it in the near future. I would love a little chat on it. You and Ms. Favell were right... I really did enjoy it. (what WOULD I do w/out my personal secretaries!! ha)
I do have a couple of days free this week so maybe I can chat sometime in the next few days. (but sadly also a HUGE pile of neglected housework and chores to do to catch up from being so busy.. so maybe I am not so free after all... sigh) :-)
OH.. and PS some more, ha... to you and Chris too... I have NEVER seen The Shootist. I have TRIED on more than one occasion to watch it and for whatever reason I just was not able to get into it. After reading your thoughts here (and thinking again on stuff I remember you saying in the past) I likely have been missing out. I will try (sometime soon, but who knows WHEN??) to give it another try.