scsu1975

All Quiet on the TCM Front A cable network inexplicably shows a silent version of a sound film, causing rioting in the streets, defenestration of Ben Mankiewicz, and irritable bowel syndrome. Some customers actually like the idea, but they are drowned out by the naysayers. In a shocking move, the network decides to add sound to their message boards, so that forum members can actually “hear” the posts of others. Sales of earplugs skyrocket. Tor Johnson has a cameo as a subwoofer.

Here is the solution. You need one of these RCA sound trucks, which was designed to pump sound into theaters which were not wired for sound. It worked in Great Britain, anyhow.

It must be the rarely seen version entitled Really All Quiet on the Western Front.

Valentino (1951) youtube Well, it’s not bad, but it ain’t good either. Instead of a decent biopic which could have delved into the background and mystique of Rudolph Valentino, we get over 100 minutes of Anthony Dexter pretty much trying to bag Eleanor Parker. Now Dexter was certainly a good choice for Valentino, because of his facial and physical resemblance. And we all know his subsequent career reached the stratosphere, with classics like Fire Maidens of Outer Space, 12 To the Moon, and The Phantom Planet (these last two films oddly enough featuring silent screen legend Francis X. Bushman). Along with Parker, support (if you can call it that) is provided by Richard Carlson as a fictitious director, Otto Kruger as a fictitious producer, Patricia Medina as a fictitious actress/dancer, and Joseph Calleia as a fictitious paisano named Luigi Verducci. If you like dancing, Dexter does the tango with Parker, Medina, and an old bag. If you don’t like dancing, you’ll probably still like the almost-four-minute tango sequence with Dexter and Medina, as Dexter stages an “audition” at Kruger’s home. Highlights include Dexter cracking a whip and flipping his cigarette onto Kruger’s floor, prompting Kruger to yell “What is this **** here? Who has been putting out their coals on my floor?” No, wait, Eddie Murphy said that in some other film. We get a little montage of Dexter doing Valentino from films like The Eagle and The Sheik. Incredibly, the death scene from The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is not even how it is played in the Valentino film. How is it possible to screw this up? With about 30 minutes to go, Dexter finally gets a pain in his stomach. The audience probably had gas long before that.

But whoever did Mary Astor's hair should have been shot.

#2 is Johnny Mack Brown #5 is Lucy Lee Flippin #1 looks like Anna May Wong I am guessing the connection is that each one has a three-word name.

#9 is The Earth Dies Screaming

Thanks for posting this. I'm always excited to hear about a film I've never heard of, especially a silent. The knowledge always sets my research juices in motion, so here comes some trivia: Cinematographer Ira Morgan tried some experimental lighting in this film, in an attempt to replace makeup. He used blue light to soften a ruddy complexion and red light to shade a face. (Tom, did you notice anything in the faces when you watched?) Although the action is supposed to take place 12 miles out on the Atlantic Ocean, Director Jack Conway shot the scenes 100 miles out on the Pacific. Betty Compson was cast to play Ernest Torrence’s girlfriend, but she was cut out of the film, as well as a long sequence with Gilbert as a daredevil motorcyclist at an amusement park. She is in two stills below. The first is a publicity still with Gilbert, and the second is from the film (eventually cut) with Gilbert and Torrence: And here is an oddball piece of trivia:

... because everyone knows that if you want to keep your homosexuality a secret, you dress up like a woman and get photographed.

I'm getting sick just imagining that visual ...

Hey, you can't fool me. That's not Broderick Crawford. That's Lillian Gish.

All The President’s Threads Criswell, speaking from beyond the grave, opens the film with “Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in hell, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.” Then, Woodstein and Bernward, two forum moderators, enter the scene and investigate why there are so many threads on the President. In a scandal that rocks the forum to the very core, the President then appears in a new thread entitled “Best Male Physique in the Oval Office.” But the thread mysteriously disappears and the finger-pointing (mostly of the middle kind) begins. Tor Johnson has a cameo as an unknown poster named “Joe.”

I remember seeing this the first time it was shown on tv ... because I never miss a Guich Koock film.

Nice work! Here are a couple of stills of Freeman from Minerva's Mission (1915):

Hell’s Hinges (1916) Solid William S. Hart western, in which he plays a borderline bad guy reformed by a preacher’s sister. The idea does sound corny but the darn thing works. A young minister (Jack Standing) and his sister (Clara Williams) arrive in a wide-open town which is nicknamed “Hell’s Hinges.” The town villain (Alfred Hollingsworth), who, of course, runs the saloon, decides he is going to run the minister out of town. Hart wants nothing to do with religion, so he is on board with the plan … until he meets Williams. Eventually, Hollingsworth engages the town “ho” (Louise Glaum) to get the minister drunk, which gives the townspeople license to burn down the church. In one of the better climaxes of any western, Hart angrily but methodically gets revenge. In one very powerful scene, he stands calmly outside the saloon as it is burning behind him. A complete town (35 buildings, in this case) was built at Inceville, the studio owned by producer Thomas Ince. It was burned to the ground during the climax. Some newspapers reported that several extras were injured during the fire. The film has some historical significance as it features the first screen appearance of John Gilbert, who can be spotted in a few scenes. Supposedly Hart was so impressed with Gilbert that he signed him for another western. There is a good print on youtube, and the film runs just over an hour.

In The Amazing Colossal Man, we get this "growth" chart. I assume the smallest figure is Herve Villechaize.

Frontier is awful, one of the worst-run companies I've ever come across. I used to have AT&T before Frontier took over in my state. Then the fun started ... billing me for services I did not order. Then internet went out ... then phone had static ... so they fixed phone and disconnected the internet! Took them three days to fix the internet. By then, I had already decided to switch to Charter/Spectrum. After I cancelled with Frontier, they kept sending me a monthly bill for almost a year. I tried several times to get it straightened out. Finally, I filed a complaint with the FCC and my state's Attorney General. Within one week, Frontier contacted me and corrected everything. I hope another provider can come to your area.

Hey, I want to hear more about "The Wonen Who Live Together." What's a wonen, by the way?

Hmm ... I never noticed there were cars and a freeway in that poster.

It could be worse. We're way overdue for another "Why Doesn't TCM Show Marie Osmond Movies" thread.

Hey, include me out!

You are absolutely correct. Take it away, Miles.

Who are these two kids? 1. 2.

It was a photo of Peck as Atticus Finch. I should have made that clear, sorry. But anyone who had never heard of Peck (which is probably a lot of today's readers) might take him to be Atticus.