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Satire from The Borowitz Report

Putin Admits Taking SATs for Trump

July 7, 2020

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump. Photograph by Jorge Silva / AFP / Getty


MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—The firestorm of controversy swirling around the upcoming tell-all book by the President’s niece exploded on Tuesday, after Vladimir Putin revealed that he took the SATs for Donald J. Trump.

Putin said that he had hoped to keep his role in Trump’s college admission a secret, but, with the impending publication of Mary Trump’s book, “it was only a matter of time before the truth came out.”

The Russian President said that, when young Donald Trump was applying to college, in the nineteen-sixties, Putin was making “a few extra rubles” by offering his services as a test-taker to wealthy but academically hopeless American high-school students.

“I recall the day that I took Trump’s SATs as clearly as if it were yesterday,” Putin said. “I totally aced them.”

As the years rolled by, Putin followed with intense interest the career of the man whose SATs he took.

“I often asked myself, ‘How will Donald Trump ever repay me for putting him on the path to Wharton?’ ” Putin said, with a devilish smile. “As it turned out, I found a way.”

At the White House, the press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, refused to address the Putin bombshell and instead questioned the authenticity of Mary Trump’s memoir. “No one named Trump has ever actually written a book,” McEnany said.

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Top Russia official on the National Security Council has now been replaced for the **fifth** time since Trump has been in office.

White House fills troubled Russia job-

Starting on Monday, the new top Europe and Russian official on the National Security Council will be Ryan Tully.



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Robert Mueller: Roger Stone remains a convicted felon, and rightly so

Roger Stone, former adviser to President Trump, leaves following a court hearing in Washington last year. (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
By Robert S. Mueller III
JULY 11, 2020

Robert S. Mueller III served as special counsel for the Justice Department from 2017 to 2019.

The work of the special counsel’s office — its report, indictments, guilty pleas and convictions — should speak for itself. But I feel compelled to respond both to broad claims that our investigation was illegitimate and our motives were improper, and to specific claims that Roger Stone was a victim of our office. The Russia investigation was of paramount importance. Stone was prosecuted and convicted because he committed federal crimes. He remains a convicted felon, and rightly so. 

Russia’s actions were a threat to America’s democracy. It was critical that they be investigated and understood. By late 2016, the FBI had evidence that the Russians had signaled to a Trump campaign adviser that they could assist the campaign through the anonymous release of information damaging to the Democratic candidate. And the FBI knew that the Russians had done just that: Beginning in July 2016, WikiLeaks released emails stolen by Russian military intelligence officers from the Clinton campaign. Other online personas using false names — fronts for Russian military intelligence — also released Clinton campaign emails.

Following FBI Director James B. Comey’s termination in May 2017, the acting attorney general named me as special counsel and directed the special counsel’s office to investigate Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election. The order specified lines of investigation for us to pursue, including any links or coordination between the Russian government and individuals associated with the Trump campaign. One of our cases involved Stone, an official on the campaign until mid-2015 and a supporter of the campaign throughout 2016. Stone became a central figure in our investigation for two key reasons: He communicated in 2016 with individuals known to us to be Russian intelligence officers, and he claimed advance knowledge of WikiLeaks’ release of emails stolen by those Russian intelligence officers. 

We now have a detailed picture of Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election. The special counsel’s office identified two principal operations directed at our election: hacking and dumping Clinton campaign emails, and an online social media campaign to disparage the Democratic candidate. We also identified numerous links between the Russian government and Trump campaign personnel — Stone among them. We did not establish that members of the Trump campaign conspired with the Russian government in its activities. The investigation did, however, establish that the Russian government perceived it would benefit from a Trump presidency and worked to secure that outcome. It also established that the campaign expected it would benefit electorally from information stolen and released through Russian efforts. 

Uncovering and tracing Russian outreach and interference activities was a complex task. The investigation to understand these activities took two years and substantial effort. Based on our work, eight individuals pleaded guilty or were convicted at trial, and more than two dozen Russian individuals and entities, including senior Russian intelligence officers, were charged with federal crimes.

Congress also investigated and sought information from Stone. A jury later determined he lied repeatedly to members of Congress. He lied about the identity of his intermediary to WikiLeaks. He lied about the existence of written communications with his intermediary. He lied by denying he had communicated with the Trump campaign about the timing of WikiLeaks’ releases. He in fact updated senior campaign officials repeatedly about WikiLeaks. And he tampered with a witness, imploring him to stonewall Congress.

The jury ultimately convicted Stone of obstruction of a congressional investigation, five counts of making false statements to Congress and tampering with a witness. Because his sentence has been commuted, he will not go to prison. But his conviction stands. 

Russian efforts to interfere in our political system, and the essential question of whether those efforts involved the Trump campaign, required investigation. In that investigation, it was critical for us (and, before us, the FBI) to obtain full and accurate information. Likewise, it was critical for Congress to obtain accurate information from its witnesses. When a subject lies to investigators, it strikes at the core of the government’s efforts to find the truth and hold wrongdoers accountable. It may ultimately impede those efforts. 

We made every decision in Stone’s case, as in all our cases, based solely on the facts and the law and in accordance with the rule of law. The women and men who conducted these investigations and prosecutions acted with the highest integrity. Claims to the contrary are false.


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· 4h
"The Trump administration lifted a ban on sales of silencers to private overseas buyers
that was intended to protect U.S. troops from ambushes."
Trump is literally sacrificing our troops for the NRA and firearm manufacturers
. #TraitorTrump
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1 minute ago, jakeem said:


Britain is considering new legislation to crack down on the activity of hostile governments after a damning intelligence committee report on Russian meddling in the nation’s politics.
6:08 AM · Jul 22, 2020·SocialFlow

I would trust British Intelligence more than some idiot Russian Bot with a microphone in a basement.

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Russian Allies Helping Trump Win Reelection Have A Partner In Wisconsin Republican

Sen. Ron Johnson will not say where material to investigate Joe Biden is coming from,
but a former pro-Russian lawmaker in Ukraine has said he is a source.

.......One former pro-Russian Ukrainian lawmaker, though, told The Washington Post that material showing the former vice president’s efforts to get a Ukrainian prosecutor fired has been turned over to Johnson’s committee.

Oleksandr Onyshchenko is among a group of pro-Russian Ukrainians, including one graduate of a KGB school, who have ramped up claims against Biden and released batches of edited audiotapes. They have said more material would be released closer to the election, when it would be more useful to Trump.

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8 minutes ago, TalkTalk123 said:

I'm against your McCarthyism 100% and your loyalty to the intelligence agencies. Trump would see me in the 1960's as an anarchist, I know what it's like to be a protester against the US intelligence.


My McCarthyism?  My loyalty to the Intelligence agencies?  You got the wrong guy, bub.

Just be clear ....  are you for or against the government sending in "secret" police to bash demonstrators?  Because I only hear Jimmy Dore-like crap condemning the democrats who are not even in power.

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‘America’s Dying’: Russian Media Is Giddy at Chaos in the USA


From the U.S. troop drawdown in Germany to Trump’s refusal to slam Russia over soldier bounties,

Russian state media is jubilant over America acting in the Kremlin’s interests.


"—that America’s complete disintegration would be highly beneficial for Russia. Simonyan speculated that internal chaos would force the United States to focus on its own survival, allowing Russia and other countries to pursue their global aims unimpeded: “In order for them to leave us alone, it is necessary that they be terribly busy with their own internal problems.” .......

When news broke of Russian bounties placed on the heads of American soldiers, followed by revelations that Russia and China have been hacking Western coronavirus research, it seemed that the die was cast and the sanctions against the Kremlin were all but inevitable. A chorus of experts on Russian state TV unanimously warned the audiences: There will be new sanctions.

But so far, the sanctions for the hacking of the coronavirus vaccine have been imposed solely on China. Other Russian pundits and experts accurately predicted that—unlike the Democrats—Trump and the GOP would single out not Russia but China as America’s top adversary......

,,,,,,,,“In withdrawing 12,000 soldiers from Germany, the USA achieve the exact opposite from what [Defense Secretary] Mark Esper outlined. Instead of strengthening NATO it is going to weaken the alliance. The US’ military clout will not increase, but decrease in relation to Russia and the Near and Middle East.”.......



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