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Judge me.


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Well, the real problem is that there are gay people, and then there are the proverbial fairies (the two terms not being in the least interchangeable, but in too many minds they are precisely that).


Everybody has a right to be whatever they want, and act however they want, as long as it's legal and doesn't hurt anyone else. Living in Los Angeles, a stone's throw from the gay enclave of West Hollywood, I've often wondered about this clear schism within the gay community. There are many, many gays, male and female that are indistinguishable from the general population in voice, manner and decorum.


Then there are those who are, for lack of a more convenient way of putting it, self-made fairies. What is it about some gays that make them adopt this particular form of affectation (to be fair, there are certainly straight men who are effeminate, but they're a small minority)?


For myself, I dislike affectations (though we all have them, me included) irrespective of who's doing it, and to what group they're trying to belong (such as teenage girls adopting "Val-speak"; women who decorate their homes in an extra-feminine manner, as though they're insecure that visitors will not otherwise realize that a woman resides there; or men who feel they have to crush the life out of every hand offered for a handshake.


It's obvious that a great many people will always dislike gay people for what they do behind closed doors that defines them as gay. I'm not immune to that but, since I'm not behind those doors, and am not being forced to participate or witness what's going on there, those activities have absolutely no bearing on my life and, as I wrote earlier, and hurt no one.


Still, it's hard not to feel that the effeminate mannerisms many gays adopt adds to the distatste much of mainstream society feels toward homosexuals, if not homosexuality (case in point: West Hollywood's annual Gay Pride Day parade. If you've ever seen it on the news, the spectacle of half-naked, leather-clad gay people on floats cruising down Santa Monic Boulevard can be somewhat off-putting. The problem is not that the people are gay, but that they are flagrant exhibitionists. It's the exhibitionism, itself, that's distasteful, and the sight of similarly cavorting heterosexual exhibitionists would be just as unwelcome).


I don't equate things I find personally distasteful with immorality, as is the custom for "religious" moralizers and sanctimonious right-wingers. To tolerlate that which one finds distasteful is ennobling, and do do so makes us better than we would otherwise be. It's a small step in what should be a lifelong path toward self-improvement, and fits in quite neatly with Jesus's (yes, him) words about those without sin being the only ones with a right to cast stones.

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