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The Annual FrankGrimes Torture Thread


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*My God, Scott, are you a Virgo? Say it ain't so.*

 

I know your real name! I know your real name! In related news, I'm older than you by three years. This depresses me.

 

 

*I like how you can go from Chuck Taylors to being excited about a red dress.*

 

I'm so about relaxing, but my inner tart is beside herself about the dress.

 

*The more serious I am, the less happy I am. I tend to be serious only when it's necessary.*

 

Me too. I'm always the ice breaker and the cheerer-upper. I find there are very few situations that cannot be helped by the injection of humor and laughter.

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Consider yourself lucky that I managed to finish your horoscope in the middle of watching "Doughnut Paradises" on the Travel Channel.

 

So, mein herr, you want to know more about your chart? (sans the time of your birth for now; if you obtain it later on, let me know)

 

You're a lucky fellow -- did you know that you're going to have a large family of your own later in life? Yep. And it's no wonder you love GG, because your Venus is in a fire sign as well (Leo) This makes you ardent, noble, protective, truly a knight in shining armor, ready to defend your loved ones at the drop of a hat. You also are drawn to DRAMA QUEENS, women with big hearts (among other attributes) and larger-than-life personas. The sweet mousy types are not for you.

You need a romantic partner who SPARKLES!

 

Now, your Moon is in my Sun sign. (should I tell you the sign? I'll keep being a woman of mystery in this respect for a while) All I'll say is that you react to the world more analytically than emotionally, and value friendship and the social whirl. You are intellectual, sympathetic, and make friends easily. We're in sync (most of the time).

 

You could make a living as a writer. You lack confidence in yourself, however. Independence is VERY important to you. You're very hard on yourself. You've got a great work ethic. You live too much in a dream world but are very happy there! Any career dealing with communication will be very lucky for you, but this might come late in life. But don't worry, you'll have a long life. (just eat more vegetables)

 

I hate to say this, but you really ARE a good guy, helping the weak and sick and providing comfort and empathy to those in need.

 

Your Sun is conjunct Pluto. Heavy duty, man. Transformative, powerful, perceived "endings" are really beginnings. Life in death, death in life. I don't mean to be esoteric, but you truly ARE an old soul, and are constantly renewing yourself.

 

I of course don't need to tell you about Virgo.

 

You're a social progressive in a lot of ways -- you want to save the world! You love humanity, you son of a gun, you.

 

There's more, but I'm tired.

 

Okay, that'll be fifty bucks.

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Hola, Minya -- I know your real name! I know your real name!

 

:)

 

I've got some names for you.

 

In related news, I'm older than you by three years. This depresses me.

 

Would you like me to take you to the river for some cheering up? :P

 

I like how you can go from Chuck Taylors to being excited about a red dress.

 

I'm so about relaxing, but my inner tart is beside herself about the dress.

 

Inner tart? I really like that, Rio!

 

The more serious I am, the less happy I am. I tend to be serious only when it's necessary.

 

Me too. I'm always the ice breaker and the cheerer-upper. I find there are very few situations that cannot be helped by the injection of humor and laughter.

 

So the shy girl can break ice? That's an interesting mix. I actually know of what you speak.

 

Those who take things too seriously end up pushing me away, although I will try to loosen them up. But I'm usually much too playful for the overly serious types.

 

A fine evening to you, Zeena -- Consider yourself lucky that I managed to finish your horoscope in the middle of watching "Doughnut Paradises" on the Travel Channel.

 

You gals watch the worst stuff imaginable.

 

So, mein herr, you want to know more about your chart? (sans the time of your birth for now; if you obtain it later on, let me know)

 

Smack me.

 

You're a lucky fellow -- did you know that you're going to have a large family of your own later in life? Yep.

 

You call that lucky? Are you trying to curse me?

 

I don't see the large family happening.

 

And it's no wonder you love GG, because your Venus is in a fire sign as well (Leo) This makes you ardent, noble, protective, truly a knight in shining armor, ready to defend your loved ones at the drop of a hat.

 

So how does this connect with my love of Double G? I know she's a fire sign, but how does my Venus relate to her?

 

You also are drawn to DRAMA QUEENS,

 

Tell me about it. :D

 

women with big hearts (among other attributes) and larger-than-life personas. The sweet mousy types are not for you. You need a romantic partner who SPARKLES!

 

Actually, you are pretty close with this one.

 

Now, your Moon is in my Sun sign. (should I tell you the sign? I'll keep being a woman of mystery in this respect for a while)

 

What's the significance of the "Moon" and the "Sun"?

 

All I'll say is that you react to the world more analytically than emotionally

 

I'm definitely more analytical than emotional (fly off the cuff), although I'm a very emotional guy in a feelings kind of way.

 

and value friendship and the social whirl.

 

The social whirl is a no go.

 

You are intellectual, sympathetic, and make friends easily. We're in sync (most of the time).

 

Most of that is true.

 

You lack confidence in yourself, however.

 

On the nosey.

 

Independence is VERY important to you.

 

Not so much.

 

You're very hard on yourself.

 

So very true.

 

You've got a great work ethic.

 

That's the biggest laugh of the night for me. :D

 

You live too much in a dream world but are very happy there!

 

Very much so.

 

But don't worry, you'll have a long life. (just eat more vegetables)

 

I'm not sure about that one. I hate veggies and I'm the world's most boring eater.

 

I hate to say this, but you really ARE a good guy, helping the weak and sick and providing comfort and empathy to those in need.

 

That one actually hurt, didn't it?

 

Your Sun is conjunct Pluto. Heavy duty, man. Transformative, powerful, perceived "endings" are really beginnings. Life in death, death in life. I don't mean to be esoteric, but you truly ARE an old soul, and are constantly renewing yourself.

 

I need to know what this "Sun" is all about.

 

I'm an old soul but I've never renewed myself.

 

You're a social progressive in a lot of ways -- you want to save the world! You love humanity, you son of a gun, you.

 

I'm definitely that.

 

There's more, but I'm tired.

 

You need to get your sleep, Juror #8. But I'd love to hear more when you get the time.

 

Okay, that'll be fifty bucks.

 

I'm sure the cards told you about Virgos having empty pockets, right?

 

That was fun, Barb.

 

nightmarealley1-1.jpg

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*Would you like me to take you to the river for some cheering up?*

 

I'm beginning to think introducing you to Nick Cave wasn't such a good idea. :)

 

*So the shy girl can break ice? That's an interesting mix. I actually know of what you speak.*

 

It's the talking in front of people I can't handle, but if I'm somewhere like a party and someone shows up with a significant other that doesn't know anybody else, I'm usually the person chatting them up so they don't feel so odd. I'm generally predisposed to a happy nature and I like making other people happy too. It's the Virgo thing again. I like laughing, I like making other people laugh and I love it when someone has a quick sense of humor.

 

*You call that lucky? Are you trying to curse me?*

 

Ohhh, I am cracking up!!! I think we were separated at birth and you were incubated somewhere for three years. :)

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I'm beginning to think introducing you to Nick Cave wasn't such a good idea. :)

 

You've got that right. If you tell me something about yourself, I'm going to use it against you, Lady of the Various Sorrows.

 

So the shy girl can break ice? That's an interesting mix. I actually know of what you speak.

 

It's the talking in front of people I can't handle, but if I'm somewhere like a party and someone shows up with a significant other that doesn't know anybody else, I'm usually the person chatting them up so they don't feel so odd.

 

That sounds awfully familiar. I feel it is my obligation to welcome outsiders.

 

I'm generally predisposed to a happy nature and I like making other people happy too. It's the Virgo thing again.

 

I guess it is a Virgo thang. I prefer the happiness of others to my own. And if I really care about a person, their happiness ends up being mine. If someone I really care about is hurting, I'm hurting.

 

I like laughing, I like making other people laugh and I love it when someone has a quick sense of humor.

 

So this explains your hate of me.

 

You call that lucky? Are you trying to curse me?

 

Ohhh, I am cracking up!!! I think we were separated at birth and you were incubated somewhere for three years.

 

So we're brother and sister, are we? Hi, Sis!

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And more fun is yet to come (tomorrow) The trial didn't get me weary.

It was that double dose of Kevin Kostner.

 

Astrological calculations have really nothing to do with carnival tricks or sucker games. There is actually a lot of science involved. It's actually a way to get human beings out of their nightmare alleys and into the light of day, in a very rational way.

 

All will be explained.

 

Bon soir, my little Pennsylvania Virgo.

 

P.S. Is the world worth living without doughnuts?

 

Message was edited by: Bronxgirl48

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*So this explains your hate of me.*

 

Ahh, self deprecation! We're just hitting all the Virgo traits! :)

 

I find that you have a delightful sense of humor and what's more you're literate. In the electronic age it can be hard to find people that are capable of putting a sentence together correctly*. Not that I think you're perfect. You're mean to me all the time every day. That has simply got to change.

 

*In the interest of full disclosure, despite being an English major with an interest in writing, I find that I occasionally suffer from an over reliance on commas and misplacement of apostrophes. I am an excellent speller, but a lousy typist.

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Minya, My Sis -- Ahh, self deprecation! We're just hitting all the Virgo traits!

 

Yes, we are!

 

I find that you have a delightful sense of humor and what's more you're literate.

 

Delightful? You don't say. You've been at those rum bottles again, haven't you?

 

American standards have indeed been lowered. For you see, if I'm literate...

 

In the electronic age it can be hard to find people that are capable of putting a sentence together correctly*.

 

Poor writing skills can tangle the lines of communication, but I try to look past the how for the who.

 

Not that I think you're perfect.

 

If you thought I were perfect, you would be committed on the spot. Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea. It's actually not a bad place to be as you long as you get to play with the other inmates. I'll keep an eye out for you.

 

You're mean to me all the time every day. That has simply got to change.

 

Is Minya a girl? Charge: attempting to change a man. Ruling: Guilty! Minya is a guilty GIRL. :P:P

 

In the interest of full disclosure, despite being an English major with an interest in writing, I find that I occasionally suffer from an over reliance on commas and misplacement of apostrophes. I am an excellent speller, but a lousy typist.

 

Your writing ability certainly shines through. You're quite good at saying a lot with a little, which is a skill that's tough to master. And I haven't noticed any comma abuse or apostrophe negligence on your part.

 

Good night, Mrs. Costner -- And more fun is yet to come (tomorrow)

 

Terrific!

 

Astrological calculations have really nothing to do with carnival tricks or sucker games. There is actually a lot of science involved. It's actually a way to get human beings out of their nightmare alleys and into the light of day, in a very rational way. All will be explained.

 

Now that's a tease!

 

Bon soir, my little Pennsylvania Virgo.

 

Are you Mooning me?

 

P.S. Is the world worth living without doughnuts?

 

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*Poor writing skills can tangle the lines of communication, but I try to look past the how for the who.*

 

You're a better person than I, then. When I read something that is rife with spelling and grammatical errors, I usually automatically start to discount what is being said. At my job, I'm exchanging emails with other people on a regular basis and I'm continually astonished at how lax business etiquette has become. There was one woman I had to correspond with frequently who insisted on using text speak in all her emails. More than once I had to write her back and tell her to translate for me. Others simply don't seem to understand the benefit of spell check. It is definitely one of my pet peeves.

 

There's another one! Being totally **** retentive! Yay!

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You're a better person than I, then.

 

That's a given. Yet another Virgo trait: sweet modesty. :P

 

When I read something that is rife with spelling and grammatical errors, I usually automatically start to discount what is being said.

 

I used to be this way but I've learned to lighten up thanks to the Internet. Spelling and grammatical errors only bother me now when I don't like what a person is saying. My annoyance level jumps then. I tend to respect the words of someone who I disagree with when they convey their message with great diction.

 

At my job, I'm exchanging emails with other people on a regular basis and I'm continually astonished at how lax business etiquette has become. There was one woman I had to correspond with frequently who insisted on using text speak in all her emails. More than once I had to write her back and tell her to translate for me. Others simply don't seem to understand the benefit of spell check. It is definitely one of my pet peeves.

 

I've mellowed. I prefer everyone to be themselves when exchanging words with me. I'd rather a person feel relaxed and comfortable around me above all else. A business setting can be different, though. Clarity is sometimes very necessary.

 

There's another one! Being totally **** retentive! Yay!

 

Typically. I think most everyone is **** retentive in their own way. I'm always about relaxation, so I try to limit my **** retentiveness as much as possible. But I will say that I'm an edit freak. This slows me down like you wouldn't believe. Or, actually, you may.

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How kind of you to say I was sweet and modest. Oh, you meant you.

 

Hey! It's almost three in the morning there! I had intended to be asleep by now, but I have to clean. Not in an OCD way, I'm just having people over tomorrow.

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Yep, a whole lotta flesh down here, jiggling and bouncing and sweating. (Frank's getting excited, I better stop) While the ape-arms of the old men are hard to look at, their wives are even worse -- imagine if you will an 85 year old woman with flaming red hair weighing about 300 pounds, stuffed into what looks like a size 2 purple bathing suit, and with her own hair issues glaringly displayed. (I shall say no more)

 

That's funny! But you can see that on almost any beach. I am always amazed and secretly

envious of the kind of confidence a woman must possess in herself to....display all that. I'm

constantly buying bikinis that are strategic about concealment and what they reveal. It's

an art in itself. In fact, last night I even had a dream about the "perfect" bathing suit, it even

had a Versace label on it. I'm sure it covered more territory than Madame Purple Suit's.

 

By the way I am enjoying your Palm Beach "Dispatches"...if you stay you really should get a

job on the Post (write Scott Eyman!) and have your own column. They're priceless! I feel like

I'm there.

 

Blankets? Ewww. I wouldn't trust a civil service laundry getting them too sanitary.

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You are intellectual...

 

Ha! I called that one long ago, too. I'll take fifty as well. :P

 

You could make a living as a writer.....You've got a great work ethic.

 

Hmmm....hopefully we'll see some evidence of that soon with regard to discussing the

movies he's seen.

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Good morning, Seattle Sis -- Hey! It's almost three in the morning there! I had intended to be asleep by now,

 

You wore me out!

 

but I have to clean. Not in an OCD way, I'm just having people over tomorrow.

 

I know of a couple OCD cleaners around here. So are you having vamps and pirates over for some pillagin' and plunderin'?

 

Buon giorno, Balneazione Ballerina -- I'm constantly buying bikinis that are strategic about concealment and what they reveal. It's an art in itself. In fact, last night I even had a dream about the "perfect" bathing suit, it even had a Versace label on it. I'm sure it covered more territory than Madame Purple Suit's.

 

Ahhh, so it must have concealed your mouth. :P:P

 

You are intellectual...

 

Ha! I called that one long ago, too. I'll take fifty as well.

 

You're gonna get more than fifty, Missy. And if I'm an intellectual, you are twice that. ;)

 

You could make a living as a writer.....You've got a great work ethic.

 

Hmmm....hopefully we'll see some evidence of that soon with regard to discussing the

movies he's seen.

 

Hey! I said that was the biggest laugh of the night! I don't want my lazy bones to lose their strength.

 

If only I could watch a movie to write about...

 

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If only I could watch a movie to write about...

 

If that's supposed to be a tease that you watched Pandora I am not falling for it.

 

I think you just stole that picture from one of my own screencap postings.

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Ciao, Miss G! -- If that's supposed to be a tease that you watched Pandora I am not falling for it.

 

Oh, no, no, no. I'd never do such a thing. How could you suggest that I would? :P

 

I think you just stole that picture from one of my own screencap postings.

 

I hate that you're always right. :)

 

Hola, Minya! -- You wore me out!

 

I often have this effect on men.

 

Wow, that came out looking a lot worse than I had intended.

 

That's the perfect answer! It's an answer rife with mystery. How does she mean? How do you wear a man out? Is it good or bad? Or is it a lovely mix of both that would keep a man coming back for more? Hmmmmm...

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*That's the perfect answer! It's an answer rife with mystery. How does she mean? How do you wear a man out? Is it good or bad? Or is it a lovely mix of both that would keep a man coming back for more? Hmmmmm...*

 

Oh no! Now there's going to be more talkin' in those back rooms you mentioned before. :)

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Well I just got through a terrific bonding session with my new Irish landlord, the niece -- she's wonderful (complete with accent, from Cork), 28 years old, an interior decorator by trade, creative and a bit punk-rocky, down to earth, organized, and sensible. I just got through introducing myself and we spent four hours at my late landlady's apt. talking mainly about Ireland! She told me of her boyfriend Fergal and all about Cork slang.

 

(I'll try not to call Frank a "langer") I'll deposit my rental check in an account she'll set up here. She gave me her address in Cork and told me that when I make my first trip to Ireland, to look her and Fergal up.

 

Life is interesting, isn't it??

 

I'm exhausted now (but pleasantly so) and I'll hit the hay. (and dream of

the Emerald Isle)

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Frank, I know you'll forgive me for not talking to you today as I said I would with the continuing astrology lesson and your chart, but I was spending time with my new Irish landlady this evening. (see my post to Miss G) and now I'm sleepy, because now I CAN sleep, feeling a bit relieved that I can renew my lease here and be miserably hot for yet ANOTHER year, lol. (with occasional visits to Chicago, so I won't go completely mad in this relentless heat)

 

See you tomorrow!

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