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The Annual FrankGrimes Torture Thread


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I always think of Dicken's "decrease the surplus population" when I hear Stupid People stories. These reptiles are only doing what comes naturally for 5 million years. However, they are Einsteins compared to this self-deluded idiot.

 

Hey, that's a terrific idea about the SPF clothing for my unsightly neighbors. Protection for them, protection for my eyes.

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A very lovely Hitch Good Evening to you, Star Hustler -- 'ello, 'ello, 'ello! Here, what's all this then? (don't ask me why I'm talking Cockney; I have no idea)

 

That just means you are in an excellent mood. The sillier a person is, the better the mood.

 

You might be pleased to hear that the family I told you would appear late in life, and which you doubt, is a ready-made one;

 

Late in life? You must be speaking of the now. I do have a big family surrounding me.

 

no fruit from your loins will appear on this earth. (and we're all breathing a sigh of relief over THAT)

 

I'm impotent? That makes sense.

 

You can be a terrible spendthrift, but my assessment of your work ethic still stands, despite your guffaws. Let's just say that you ADMIRE workaholics, even if you're not one. You are not a couch potato, so don't make me think you are.

 

This couch potato is still guffawing. I do admire workaholics, though. They are something I am not and I tend to admire those who are different than me.

 

Now, Venus in a man's chart represents what sort of woman he's attracted to.

 

Uh-oh. This should be interesting.

 

GG is a Sun Sagittarius, and you're drawn to her fiery independent, down-to-earth yet haughty, spitfire nature. She appreciates a sports-loving,manly man, but likes to dominate the relationship. And she loves to spend money. Yours. You want to protect her but can occasionally be condescending and chauvinistic. It won't work, so forget about it.

 

Boy, that sounds about right. Well, except appreciating the sports-loving part. :D

 

The Sun represents the self, the conscious mind. The Moon is our emotional response to the world. You are a Sun Virgo: modest, thrifty (some of the time),

 

All the time. :P

 

critical, semi-repressed,

 

Totally repressed.

 

occasionally eccentric,

 

Really?

 

and many times an old stick in the mud.

 

Precisely!

 

However, your Moon is in Libra, so you react analytically and rationally to situations around you. Now, not knowing your Ascendant (when are you going to give me this info from your mother or birth certificate, huh? huh? Not that I'm pressing or anything)

 

Ohh, so you do wish me to find this out, eh? I'll see what I can do.

 

a Virgo Sun with a Libra Moon creates a very well-balanced individual, fair-minded and even-tempered, and you will be this, but your Ascendant (also called the Rising sign if you remember) can modify these natal traits.

 

Is that so, Lucha Libra? :)

 

For instance, you could be a double Virgo (if I discover your Ascendant is also Virgo) in which case toward the end of your life you'll probably be a bachelor converted to vegetarianism, growing a beard and living like Ewell Gibbons, eating fruits and nuts in a forest and communing with the squirrels.

 

Now that killed me! And I'll be dead before I'm a vegetarian.

 

His plumbing is permanently damaged.

 

Damn those stars!

 

Although they do lower the cholesterol.

 

I'd like to lower Frank in something....

 

Who is this? Butterscotch?

 

A very bad Hitch Good Evening to you, Elisa -- Hopefully no one scary.

 

I meant like axe murderer scary. Or someone who watches Bill O'Reilly scary.

 

So is one out of two okay with you?

 

That eliminates me. I'm sure Jack Skellington would make your roses sigh a Moonlight Serenade.

 

You could dress up like Jack Skellington(I would also accept a pirate costume) and sing me songs from the movie. But no rocks.

 

What do you have against rocks? I cannot think of anything more romantic than a lovely stroll along a river. I could have your hand in my one hand and a rock in another. It would be to die for. :P

 

How about Jack Skelly as a Bucco? I wonder what kind of effect that would have on you.

 

When I rule the world,

 

I'll be with the squirrels, eating nuts and berries.

 

one of the many things I will do is make it illegal for retailers to display anything even remotely Christmasy before October 31st. Failure to abide by this rule will...ummm, well whatever punishment I devise, it will be pretty bad.

 

I'd rather not see any Christmasy dealies until Black Friday, but that ain't gonna happen.

 

And it probably involve spiders or something. Yeah, spiders are bad.

 

Spiderman is bad? Are you the Green Goblin's daughter?

 

You might be pleased to hear that the family I told you would appear late in life, and which you doubt, is a ready-made one

 

I wonder if it will be a family of squirrels?

 

:D You made me laugh, Silly Girl.

 

A very sour Hitch Good Evening to you, Bar Hustler -- Squirrels to the nuts!!

 

;)

 

He's alrready "squirrely" so you have him pegged alright.

 

I thought I was froggy. :)

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*So is one out of two okay with you?*

 

Now I'm trying to figure out which one would be harder to deal with...

 

*How about Jack Skelly as a Bucco? I wonder what kind of effect that would have on you.*

 

Hmmmm, intriguing. I'm reasonably certain it would be positive.

 

What do you have against rocks? I cannot think of anything more romantic than a lovely stroll along a river. I could have your hand in my one hand and a rock in another. *It would be to die for.*

 

Funny man.

 

*Spiderman is bad? Are you the Green Goblin's daughter?*

 

Why must you twist my words? I'm on to you!

 

*You made me laugh, Silly Girl.*

 

Ahhh! My day is now complete! :)

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It'll only feel like you're dead if you're a vegetarian.

 

Your plumbing is fine; but the lass you'll be hitched to (or it might be a common-law relationship, very trailer-parky, not that I'm casting aspersions or anything you understand) might have many offspring. Like that women in Arkansas with the 16 kids. But she's married. (boy, is she ever)

 

You must then be in a great mood all the time.

 

Yes, I need those letters of transit -- I mean, I want that time of birth mister, and I want it NOW, or this will be the END of a beautiful friendship.

 

Are you the type that picks up pennies from the sidewalk? Do you empathize with Trina in GREED? Do you leave tips so small in restaurants the waiters need magnifying glasses to see it?

 

Are you **** retentive?

 

Get regular with Ree-lax!

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Hiya, Miss G -- FrankGrimes Family Portrait in his Twilight Years:

 

:) Somebody is funny tonight. Only tonight, mind you. :P

 

Howdy, Coopsy's Zombie -- Is Frank the squirrel in the middle? He's definitely nutty :P .

 

How did you get in that portrait? :P Did I adopt you?

 

Bonjour, Band Groupie -- So is one out of two okay with you?

 

Now I'm trying to figure out which one would be harder to deal with...

 

I think I know your answer. I'll bring my axe to the concert.

 

How about Jack Skelly as a Bucco? I wonder what kind of effect that would have on you.

 

Hmmmm, intriguing. I'm reasonably certain it would be positive.

 

Oh, heck, I know it would be positive. The real question is, how positive? :)

 

What do you have against rocks? I cannot think of anything more romantic than a lovely stroll along a river. I could have your hand in my one hand and a rock in another. It would be to die for.

 

Funny man.

 

Do I kill you?

 

Spiderman is bad? Are you the Green Goblin's daughter?

 

Why must you twist my words? I'm on to you!

 

You said spiders are bad, Green Girly Goblin.

 

You made me laugh, Silly Girl.

 

Ahhh! My day is now complete!

 

Ohh, but the night remains incomplete. Cue the band! :P

 

Hiya, Barbie Doll -- It'll only feel like you're dead if you're a vegetarian.

 

You got that right.

 

Your plumbing is fine;

 

That's good to know.

 

but the lass you'll be hitched to (or it might be a common-law relationship, very trailer-parky, not that I'm casting aspersions or anything you understand) might have many offspring. Like that women in Arkansas with the 16 kids. But she's married. (boy, is she ever)

 

Do you think I'm foolish enough to dive into that ocean? Ohh, crap, you're probably right.

 

You must then be in a great mood all the time.

 

You know that I'm a serious sourpuss at all hours. Why waste time having a good time when a bad time for all is so much better? No more foolin' around!

 

Yes, I need those letters of transit -- I mean, I want that time of birth mister, and I want it NOW, or this will be the END of a beautiful friendship.

 

Miss Goddess? Is that you? :P

 

Are you the type that picks up pennies from the sidewalk?

 

Not really.

 

Do you empathize with Trina in GREED?

 

I haven't watched it. Copyright!

 

Do you leave tips so small in restaurants the waiters need magnifying glasses to see it?

 

Yes... to the waiters. Not the waitresses. :)

 

Are you **** retentive?

 

That goes without saying.

 

Get regular with Ree-lax!

 

Minya downed the entire bottle! She needed to. :P

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> {quote:title=coopsgirl wrote:}{quote}

> Is Frank the squirrel in the middle? He's definitely nutty :P.

 

I'm leaving it to everyone to pick out which beast they think best represents the Subject.

 

You say the squirrel...you are kinder than me. I think that little toad has his name on it. :P

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*Minya downed the entire bottle! She needed to.*

 

What the H? Did you think I was gone already? AND you've made me curse. Well, alphabetically,

but still.

 

Now I will be very sad.

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What the Minya? -- Minya downed the entire bottle! She needed to. :P

 

What the H? Did you think I was gone already?

 

I was hoping. :P:P Of course not! Gentlemen always say their sweet nothings in the presence of their nothing sweets. :D

 

AND you've made me curse. Well, alphabetically, but still.

 

That's the effect I have on women. Up and down the alphabet. ;)

 

Now I will be very sad.

 

I'm sure the band will cheer you up, Drowsy.

 

Well hello there, Sour Nothing -- You say the squirrel...you are kinder than me. I think that little toad has his name on it.

 

Oh, and why would that be, Bunny?

 

Too cute!! I love Chip-N-Dale, but I think they each have too much energy to be related

to Grimes. We need a lazier kind of forest-dwelling, nut hoarding critter....

 

You always have so much love for me.

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> {quote:title=Bronxgirl48 wrote:}{quote}

>

 

Oh my WORD that is the CUTEST, FUNNIEST thing I've ever seen you post yet...ohhhhhhhh, I had no idea a baby SLOTH could be so adorable! Are those your babies, Frank? I didn't know you had twins already! :P

 

I have to save that video and email it to some friends. Too, too cute, thanks Lady B.

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Oh, you're welcome, Goddess. The antithesis of Chip and Dale, aren't they, lol?

 

I like how the lady says, "They're not really stupid".

 

They suckle ears.

 

Frank, leave mine alone!

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Hey, Evil Torturer -- Frank, stop scratching.

 

I wonder how I became so very irritated all of a sudden. :)

 

 

They suckle ears. Frank, leave mine alone!

 

I was going for your neck. Sorry.

 

Hi, Glazed Plain Evil -- Oh my WORD that is the CUTEST, FUNNIEST thing I've ever seen you post yet...ohhhhhhhh, I had no idea a baby SLOTH could be so adorable! Are those your babies, Frank? I didn't know you had twins already!

 

Haven't you been paying attention? My plumbing doesn't work. I guess they may be part of my adopted big "family."

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Haven't you been paying attention? My plumbing doesn't work. I guess they may be part of my adopted big "family."

 

Don't they have drugs to fix that sort of problem, Count Favrini?

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Sloth-y face, you have the cutest little sloth-y face,

There is no one who could take your p-l-a-c-e,

S-l-o-t-h-y faaaaaace.

 

Hey, I dreamt last night I was giving Cary Grant a back rub.

We were both fully clothed; me in t-shirt and blue jeans, he in an impeccable Hong Kong silk shirt and grey pressed pants.

 

What does this mean?

 

Should I stop with the garlic pizza at 2 a.m.?

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They must be kickin' your tail, Scott, because I've been receiving, like, a million emails from the "Frank Grime torture thread".

 

 

Poor guy doesn't have the strength to endure all of this torture plus the violence I inflict on him. **Tsk, tsk** Such a brave little toaster...

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Okay, that sloth video made me laugh so hard!!! Who knew Frank was so limber that he could scratch his head with his foot like that ;). I guess everyone needs a talent.

 

You're dream about Cary Grant is too funny!! It's been several days since I had a dream about Gary and then last night I had 3!! Two were clean, one was not :P.

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