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The Annual FrankGrimes Torture Thread


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Hi, Biker Chick -- I just don't understand you.

 

Then I'm succeeding.

 

I'll be in the pumpkin patch, playing hard to get with Sally. But if I'm to go out trick-or-treating with you, I'm goin' as Oscar the Grouch. I might as well dress to the mood you always place me in when you're around, Snobgoblin.

 

Just remember-if you try to hold her hand, she'll slug you.

 

Tell me about it. I've been slugged plenty.

 

I don't think it's me that inspires the grouchiness, I think it's all the rocks people give you.

 

Speaking of "inspired" and "rocks," how about I show you where the wild roses grow along the river? You could put on your scarlet-lettered red dress and I could throw on a kilt. It would be very romantic.

 

If I were to wear a kilt to a New Year's Eve party, it probably would work. There are many girls who love such foolishness, especially those with alcohol in them. But what fun is that?

 

What do you have against kilts? They're very manly and not at all Jane Austen-y, since that seems to put your BVDs in a twist. Just don't put on a Utilikilt-those are stupid.

 

Oh, yeah, kilts are the epitome of manhood. I don't think I'd enjoy such "liberation," if you get my draft.

 

Is it because you have no Scots blood? Or do you?

 

I'm predominantly Pennsylvania-Dutch (German).

 

Hiya, Zeena -- You don't eat tuna fish sandwiches?

 

No, I do not.

 

Do you at least enjoy peanut butter? (I don't mean in connection with your fantasies)

 

Fantasties! I like peanut butter. I love Reese's peanut butter cups.

 

Doesn't the idea of a clambake excite your taste buds? Eating fresh shellfish near the ocean, with the tangy salt air around you? With all those great sides -- corn on the corn dripping with butter, potato salad, blueberry pie.... I'm salivating already.

 

:D

 

I'll have the corn on the cob and blueberry pie. You can keep the rest.

 

Every good woman brings great luck to the right guy. But you keep getting left.

 

That's because I'm the wrong guy, the left guy. ;)

 

This green girl is definitely part of your life. She might be a friend of a friend. You do know her. You might have even met her when you were younger. Think hard, and it will come back to you. She is a special person.

 

I'd have to go back quite a ways.

 

You know what Aquarius rising means -- look back to my post on it. (empathetic, eccentric, humanistic, rational, not emotional, etc.)

 

Ohh, that's right. All of those qualities apply but one.

 

A Pisces girl would be a pretty good match for you. We'll have to find you one. (or dredge one up) You know they love the ocean. Would you mind if she looked like the Creature from the Black Lagoon?

 

Gilly Girl it is then! J-Girl would be proud of me.

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*Oh, yeah, kilts are the epitome of manhood. I don't think I'd enjoy such "liberation," if you get my draft.*

 

I think if you asked most women, you'd find that they get a favorable response. Remember when I told you that listening to Nick Cave sing "Red Right Hand" made me want to lick his face? I think a large segment of the female population feels that way about men in kilts. As for the liberation, you don't HAVE to go commando.

 

*I'm predominantly Pennsylvania-Dutch (German).*

 

That explains a lot. See, I'm French/Irish/Slovene/Scots and I think it's my peasant blood that makes you think you're better than me. :)

 

*Fantasties!* I like peanut butter. I love Reese's peanut butter cups.

 

I like that word! Good one. I make cookies with Reese's peanut butter cups miniatures in them.

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What is your favorite sandwich?

 

I'm guessing arugula isn't in it.

 

Not all Aquarian-influenced people are eccentric. Surprisingly, many are

materialistic social climbing control freaks with a lust for power. But I think we can rule you out on this one as well.

 

So I take it you don't like potato salad. What are you, some kind of subversive?

 

But you do like Reese's peanut butter cups. That's good. What about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? Would you ever consider slipping some bananas and bacon in them, Elvis style?

 

Do you ever dream of doing anything bizarre with spaetzle?

 

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Good evening, Muttly :P -- I think if you asked most women, you'd find that they get a favorable response.

 

As a lark.

 

Remember when I told you that listening to Nick Cave sing "Red Right Hand" made me want to lick his face?

 

Mmmmmmmaybe. :D

 

I think a large segment of the female population feels that way about men in kilts.

 

I think you're the licky one.

 

As for the liberation, you don't HAVE to go commando.

 

Thank goodness. I thought you were going to tell me about how a large segment of the female population felt about that. :P

 

I'm predominantly Pennsylvania-Dutch (German).

 

That explains a lot. See, I'm French/Irish/Slovene/Scots and I think it's my peasant blood that makes you think you're better than me.

 

That explains a lot about you being all mixed up. :P And if I'm better than you, you are in far worse shape than I ever could have imagined. But I know better. ;)

 

I make cookies with Reese's peanut butter cups miniatures in them.

 

Mmmmmmmmmm! Put them in the pic-a-nic basket.

 

Good evening, Little Mermaid -- What is your favorite sandwich?

 

Philly cheese steak (whiz without). You probably mean coldcuts though, right? Ham and cheese or baloney and cheese. Yes, I'm that boring.

 

http://www.genosteaks.com/ourmenu.html

 

I'm guessing arugula isn't in it.

 

I never heard of it before. I don't eat salads.

 

Not all Aquarian-influenced people are eccentric. Surprisingly, many are

materialistic social climbing control freaks with a lust for power. But I think we can rule you out on this one as well.

 

Ahhh, the antithesis of me.

 

So I take it you don't like potato salad. What are you, some kind of subversive?

 

:D It's especially wrong for a Pennsylvania Dutchman to not like potato salad. I don't like mayonaise. Blech!

 

But you do like Reese's peanut butter cups. That's good. What about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?

 

Yes, I like PBJ. I'm a big kid, after all.

 

Would you ever consider slipping some bananas and bacon in them, Elvis style?

 

I'd probably end up with Elvis if I did.

 

Do you ever dream of doing anything bizarre with spaetzle?

 

I never heard of spaetzle, but it looks like something I'd actually try. And do you really believe I'm adventurous enough or imaginative enough to dream of the "bizarre"? I'm just not that fancy.

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*I think you're the licky one.*

 

You say that like it's weird or something. :)

 

*Mmmmmmmmmm! Put them in the pic-a-nic basket.*

 

Well, okay. But if I have to ride you home on my bike again, you have to promise not to crush them like you did my baguette.

 

*Yes, I like PBJ. I'm a big kid, after all.*

 

Do you ever put potato chips in your PBJ? It's good. Yum.

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I think you're the licky one.

 

You say that like it's weird or something. :)

 

I'm just considering the source. :P

 

Mmmmmmmmmm! Put them in the pic-a-nic basket.

 

Well, okay. But if I have to ride you home on my bike again, you have to promise not to crush them like you did my baguette.

 

I'll protect the peanut butter cup cookies with my life. You, on the other hand, well... :P

 

Do you ever put potato chips in your PBJ? It's good. Yum.

 

Eeeeewwwwwwwww! You're weird! I bet you think of licking faces, too. :)

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*Eeeeewwwwwwwww! You're weird! I bet you think of licking faces, too.*

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these things.

 

*I'll protect the peanut butter cup cookies with my life. You, on the other hand, well...*

 

That is so hurtful. Sniff. I'm very hurt right now. What did I ever do to merit that? Sigh..........

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Aww, you're pulling my leg (now, now...); you really DO know what spaetzle (or spatzle, different spellings for it) is -- they're GERMAN

NOODLES. Don't the Pennsylvania Dutch eat them?

 

And you prefer Geno's to Pat's? I thought Pat's was the AUTHENTIC cheesesteak sandwich, and Geno's was for the yuppies. And you certainly aren't a yuppie. (maybe a guppy)

 

You don't eat salads -- this is very bad. Where's your fiber? Do you ever eat a fruit or a vegetable? Do you drink at least six glasses of

water a day? Do you eat bran cereal at all, or just Rice Krispies?

(I suggest Frosted Shredded Wheat; that way you get the "fun" with the, shall we say, regularity)

 

Ham and cheese, and bologna and cheese....zzzzzzzzzzz.

 

It's on white bread, right? That's not good for the digestion.

 

Is your favorite ice cream flavor vanilla?

 

There was a real poll done that said men who prefer vanilla are actually self-confident and successful. (I'm not making this up) They don't need a lot of fancy flavors.

 

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Howdy, Bronx Blossom -- Aww, you're pulling my leg (now, now...); you really DO know what spaetzle (or spatzle, different spellings for it) is -- they're GERMAN NOODLES. Don't the Pennsylvania Dutch eat them?

 

I'm being very serious. I never heard of spaetzle until now. My family never made it, but my search of the internets shows that it is listed as a Pennsylvania Dutch dish. I think I might like it.

 

This is an invitation to try some of the little-known triumphs of those Pennsylvania Dutch farmers' wives whose pride, skill, crowning achievement, vocation and avocation has been- literally for two hundred and fifty years-a way with food.

 

For out of the Pennsylvania Dutch farm country there has arisen a school of regional cookery second to none.

 

The cooking is as simple, plain and wholesome as the people themselves-and as hearty.

 

http://www.horseshoe.cc/pennadutch/food/recipes.htm

 

And you prefer Geno's to Pat's? I thought Pat's was the AUTHENTIC cheesesteak sandwich, and Geno's was for the yuppies. And you certainly aren't a yuppie. (maybe a guppy)

 

I like both. I chose the Geno's link because the Pat's site was "under construction."

 

You don't eat salads -- this is very bad.

 

I know. I'm sure I will be forced to eat like a bunny soon enough.

 

Where's your fiber? Do you ever eat a fruit or a vegetable?

 

Do berry pies count as fruit? I basically eat corn and potatoes. I don't eat much fruit, but I prefer fruit to veggies. I like nanas.

 

Do you drink at least six glasses of water a day?

 

Close.

 

Do you eat bran cereal at all, or just Rice Krispies? (I suggest Frosted Shredded Wheat; that way you get the "fun" with the, shall we say, regularity)

 

Cookie Crisp. :P Actually, the cereal I'm eating right now is, drumroll please, Frosted Mini-Wheats. I also eat Corn Flakes and Raisin Bran. My cousin's 7-year-old daughter was in shock, though, when I told her that I eat Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious!

 

Ham and cheese, and bologna and cheese....zzzzzzzzzzz.

 

Now that's a reaction I'm quite used to. I'm totally boring.

 

It's on white bread, right? That's not good for the digestion.

 

I'm about buns not bread.

 

http://www.potatoroll.com/

 

Is your favorite ice cream flavor vanilla?

 

It's one of them. My favorite is cookies-n-cream. I also like raspberry and mint chocolate. I'm not big on chocolate ice cream.

 

There was an actual poll done that said men who prefer vanilla are actually self-confident and successful. (I'm not making this up) They don't need a lot of fancy flavors.

 

I'd shatter that myth.

 

He doesn't like tuna fish sandwiches, mayonnaise, and potato salad. I think he should move to Canada.

 

They don't want me, either. Saturn, here I come!

 

Is that Lebanon bologna?

 

Yes! Lebanon sweet bologna.

 

https://www.seltzersbologna.com/StoreFront/IAFDispatcher

 

Do you eat shoofly pie?

 

Yes!

 

Or just the flies?

 

Chocolate-covered.

 

Howdy, Farmer Minya -- Eeeeewwwwwwwww! You're weird! I bet you think of licking faces, too.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these things.

 

To a weirdo. :P

 

I'll protect the peanut butter cup cookies with my life. You, on the other hand, well...

 

That is so hurtful. Sniff. I'm very hurt right now. What did I ever do to merit that? Sigh..........

 

I see you are well-versed in the school of Butterscotch. I'm defenseless against tears. All right, I'll try to protect you. But the cookies come first. :)

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*For out of the Pennsylvania Dutch farm country there has arisen a school of regional cookery second to none.*

 

I don't know that it counts as regional cookery, but I've always wanted to do a Pennsylvania diner road trip. It's suppossed to have some of the best old school diners (or dinors) left in the country.

 

*Cookie Crisp. Actually, the cereal I'm eating right now is, drumroll please, Frosted Mini-Wheats. I also eat Corn Flakes and Raisin Bran.*

 

I love Frosted Mini-Wheats! It's a good way to eat fiber without feeling like you're eating sticks and straw. I'm also a big Cheerios fan. On the occasions that I eat sweet cereal (usually Saturday mornings) I have to vote for Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch or Cocoa Pebbles. Unless there's a cereal with something free in it.

 

*All right, I'll try to protect you.*

 

Maybe you are a gentleman after all. :)

 

*But the cookies come first.*

 

Believe me, you're not the first man to say that to me. I'm a victim of my own success.

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I'm drawn to the Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine; all that hearty, stick-to-your-ribs stuff, the savory and the sweet (sometimes they put those tastes together, which I love)

 

I used to snack on Frosted Mini-Wheats all the time, but I've cut way

down on my carbs. I love Count Chocula cereal but that seems to

have gone out of circulation. (never cared for the Boo-Berry)

 

I used to adore Kellogg's Concentrate decades ago; it was high

in protein AND carbs, and was totally addictive. That's gone too.

 

When I was younger I ate a lot of Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Frosted

Flakes, Corn Flakes, and Rice Krispies, but they'e too high in sugar and haven't got any fiber. (I do make Rice Krispie treats occasionally)

 

I refuse to eat "health food" cereal. Life's too short for that.

 

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As I told Minya, I've always been attracted to not only the Pennsylvania Dutch region of the country, but their food as well. Thanks so much for

that tantalizing website; it's chock full of info and great recipes.

 

You're surprised I'm familiar with Lebanon bologna. I told you, I'm Bronxgirl and I know many things as I walk by night.

 

If you had to choose, would it be Pat's or Geno's? I understand Geno's

doesn't chop the steak up like Pat's. I think I'd prefer Geno's version.

 

I hope you don't eat corn and potatoes together; that's too many carbs.

Both are very starchy. I suggest you try sweet potatoes. I make my

own sweet potato french fries; healthier, with a lower glycemic level,

and quite tasty.

 

What is it about salad you don't like? If you put a lot of dressing over

the greens, you might like it better. And throw in some bacon bits,

cheese cubes, and croutons. I guarantee you'll love it.

 

It's good to hear you eat bananas and drink at least some water.

 

You think my other dreams are strange: listen to this: I used to have a recurring nightmare as a teenager that I was in a beauty parlor and a hair stylist would give me a bowl of pistachio ice cream; for some reason this terrified me.

 

I'm still trying to figure it out.

 

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*OK. How did I end up in the Food Network Forums?????????*

 

That cracks me up!! I was thinking about that earlier even though I was actively participating in the food talk. You missed the fashion segment earlier in the day. :) What is your stance on kilts?

 

It can't all be about Mr. Grimes, despite the thread name. His head is way too big already.

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*"It can't all be about Mr. Grimes, despite the thread name. His head is way too big already."* - Mlle. Minya

 

In that case, like the title says, let's resort to a little more torture.

 

girlcropped

 

To think I almost posted the full version of this instead of The Marx Brothers.

 

Kyle In Hollywood

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*I also like raspberry and mint chocolate. I'm not big on chocolate ice cream.*

 

but mint chocolate chip ice cream happens to be the best ice cream in the world! you did that on purpose!

 

*I see you are well-versed in the school of Butterscotch. I'm defenseless against tears. All right, I'll try to protect you. But the cookies come first.*

 

hey, lets play nice with innocent Minya. she hasnt fallen under your spell quite yet and lets keep it that way. Minya....his weekness is puppy dog eyes....just to let you know.....and i DONT cry to every movie monkey boy. holy joe!

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*To think I almost posted the full version of this instead of The Marx Brothers.*

 

aaaaah....Grimes isn't the only one being tortured. That'll teach me to still not have thanked you on the poster thread.

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Hola, Kylefornia -- You're evil! Don't tell me someone has gotten into your Flicker file and messed up a Young and Innocent poster? I bet it was the twitchy drummer.

 

Hey there, Doctor J -- This is probably the only picture Mr. Grimes can tolerate of a man in a kilt. Rowdy Roddy Piper

 

Yes! Now I see the entire kilt-guy thing. Minya must adore Hot Rod.

 

Bonjour, Miss G(oop) -- So I get two scornful congrats from Davy Crockett. Thank you... I think.

 

Jackie, Butterscotch, and Coopsy's Clarita posted sexy women photos for me, but you had to go with the homely girl, Mary Cooper. That's so like you. :P

 

Howdy, BitterSourGreer -- but mint chocolate chip ice cream happens to be the best ice cream in the world! you did that on purpose!

 

That's right, Meanie Mint!

 

I see you are well-versed in the school of Butterscotch. I'm defenseless against tears. All right, I'll try to protect you. But the cookies come first.

 

hey, lets play nice with innocent Minya. she hasnt fallen under your spell quite yet and lets keep it that way.

 

I don't cast spells. We both know who does that.

 

and i DONT cry to every movie monkey boy. holy joe!

 

"Holy Joe!" Yay! You do cry at every movie, Gardenia Girl. I only cry when I watch Greer Garson movies. She is so mean and evil! All she does is stick knives in guys' backs. I keep yelling at the screen, "don't trust her, don't trust her! She'll drown your heart in the ocean or annul your marriage!"

 

Hi, Little Mermaid -- I'm drawn to the Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine; all that hearty, stick-to-your-ribs stuff, the savory and the sweet (sometimes they put those tastes together, which I love)

 

That's saying a lot coming from someone who likes to sample all kinds of food.

 

I used to snack on Frosted Mini-Wheats all the time, but I've cut way down on my carbs.

 

Snack on them? That's interesting. I will sometimes eat a bowl of cereal late at night.

 

I love Count Chocula cereal but that seems to have gone out of circulation. (never cared for the Boo-Berry)

 

I was never big on Count Chocula or Boo Berry or Franken Berry.

 

When I was younger I ate a lot of Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes, Corn Flakes, and Rice Krispies, but they'e too high in sugar and haven't got any fiber. (I do make Rice Krispie treats occasionally)

 

As a kid, I sampled quite a few cereals, thanks to all those tantalizing commercials during cartoons. I do like Cookie Crisp. :)

 

I refuse to eat "health food" cereal. Life's too short for that.

 

Meanwhile, you're all over me and my awful diet. Rightly so, by the way.

 

As I told Minya, I've always been attracted to not only the Pennsylvania Dutch region of the country, but their food as well. Thanks so much for that tantalizing website; it's chock full of info and great recipes.

 

I just love the region, the food, and the people.

 

You're surprised I'm familiar with Lebanon bologna. I told you, I'm Bronxgirl and I know many things as I walk by night.

 

I was surprised about you knowing of Lebanon bologna. It's very big here.

 

If you had to choose, would it be Pat's or Geno's? I understand Geno's

doesn't chop the steak up like Pat's. I think I'd prefer Geno's version.

 

Pat's. I like my steak chopped up. There's a couple Philly Cheese Steak joints in Harrisburg. They're pretty good.

 

I hope you don't eat corn and potatoes together; that's too many carbs. Both are very starchy.

 

All the time. I basically eat just corn and potatoes. I eat green beans with ham and sauerkraut with pork. I also like baked beans once in awhile. But it's corn and potatoes for me.

 

I suggest you try sweet potatoes. I make my own sweet potato french fries; healthier, with a lower glycemic level, and quite tasty.

 

I don't like sweet potatoes, but I do like sweet potato pie.

 

What is it about salad you don't like?

 

I don't like the taste or texture of greens.

 

If you put a lot of dressing over the greens, you might like it better. And throw in some bacon bits, cheese cubes, and croutons. I guarantee you'll love it.

 

Dressing? Blech! Do you wish me to extend my boring ways even further? I eat most of my food plain. I'm not into sauces, dips, spices, etc. It's basically cheese, mustard, ketchup, butter, salt, and dill pickles with me.

 

You think my other dreams are strange: listen to this: I used to have a recurring nightmare as a teenager that I was in a beauty parlor and a hair stylist would give me a bowl of pistachio ice cream; for some reason this terrified me. I'm still trying to figure it out.

 

Now that's a weird one. Do you like pistachio ice cream?

 

Ciao, Rio -- I don't know that it counts as regional cookery, but I've always wanted to do a Pennsylvania diner road trip. It's suppossed to have some of the best old school diners (or dinors) left in the country.

 

This is very true. There are many greasy diners to be visited in Pennsylvania Dutch country.

 

I love Frosted Mini-Wheats!

 

In that case, I better stop eating them.

 

It's a good way to eat fiber without feeling like you're eating sticks and straw.

 

That made me laugh. :)

 

I'm also a big Cheerios fan. On the occasions that I eat sweet cereal (usually Saturday mornings) I have to vote for Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch or Cocoa Pebbles. Unless there's a cereal with something free in it.

 

I'm not big on Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch but I do like Cocoa Pebbles. I will get the variety packs off and on that have Cocoa Krispies.

 

All right, I'll try to protect you.

 

Maybe you are a gentleman after all.

 

Don't tell me you have your doubts. :P

 

But the cookies come first.

 

Believe me, you're not the first man to say that to me. I'm a victim of my own success.

 

Does your dad say the same, Muttly? :D

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*Yes! Now I see the entire kilt-guy thing. Minya must adore Hot Rod.*

 

Remember when I said 'Go to the devil" was one of my favorite phrases?

 

*I will sometimes eat a bowl of cereal late at night*

 

I find that there is no bad time to eat cereal.

 

*I just love the region, the food, and the people.*

 

Have you traveled much outside of Pennsylvania? I mean this in a sincere curious way, not a "I'm trying to bait you" way since I know that's what you'll think. ;)

 

*Does your dad say the same, Muttly?*

 

Men other than my father.

 

*I will get the variety packs off and on that have Cocoa Krispies.*

 

Weird. I do that-I don't like having big boxes of the sweet stuff around (exceptions being Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch and the occasional free thing-my most recent acquisition being a light up Indiana Jones spoon. It goes with my Shrek cereal bowl) so when I get a craving I get one of those six pack thingys of cereal.

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