Special Movie one-liner thread

[skimpole]

Here's an idea for a thread. Readers could place one sentence zingers describing movies, and other readers could add them or disagree with them. Here are some examples:

 

Body Heat: It luxuriates in a nostalgia for movies the viewer has not actually seen.

 

Raging Bull: It's a Robert Bresson movie for people too lazy and stupid to see a real Robert Bresson movie.

 

Elizabeth: It's like the Godfather, only without that annoying moral complexity.

 

300: A study in gender confusion among comic book fans.

 

Crash [2005]: A movie that combines the story structure of Robert Altman with the philosophical depth of "Barney and Friends."

 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "Fanny and Alexander" and "Barry Lyndon" are movies with spines made of steel: this movie is what happens when you take out that steel and replace it with marshmellows.

[moviefan1951]

OK I'll give it a try.

 

"Hot Dog - The Movie": If you're totally starved for entertainment, this might just hit the spot.

 

Howzat?

[MrHoneywell]

{...}

 

Message was edited by: TCMWebAdmin

Personal Attack

[LonesomePolecat]

I'll bite;

 

It Happened One Night- it actually happened over a FEW nights...

[erzbet]

The Full Monty (was actually NOT)..but a fun film anyway (inspite of the F bombs).

[Catwoman915]

Being There- but only of you like watching.

[skimpole]

"The Royal Tennenbaums," "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou," "The Darjeeling Limited,"--Wes Anderson is an acquired taste--not unlike some dangerous narcotics.

[hamradio]

2 from "Unforgiven"

 

"Having someone being shot at would rattle most folks" - Gene Hackman.

 

"He should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his establishment with my friend" - Clint Eastwood.

 

A line from "Baby Take A Bow" when Shirley Temple is freeing the boundup criminal loose with a large kitchen knife, he said "you'll cut my head off" - and Shirley replied *that's alright!*

 

A Babylon 5 episode when Zathras (keeper of the Great Machine on Epsilon 3) was explaining his poor life - "Poor Zathras, had a sad life, probually will have a sad death, at least there will be symmetry."

[skimpole]

This isn't a thread about one-liners in movies, it's a thread of using one-liners to describe movies:

 

For example:

 

Gigi--What would happen if Ernst Lubitsch sold have his brains and spent the money on set decoration.

 

Gentleman's Agreement--You should never be mean to a Jew, because he might be a gentile in disguise. (This isn't mine, I believe it came from Elia Kazan. If I'm wrong, somebody please tell me.)

[skimpole]

Lancelot du Lac: NOT to be confused with Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[hamradio]

I remembered a couple more:

 

In "Dirty Harry" when Callahan played by Clint Eastwood, explained to the Chief the reason why he didn't beat up the Scorpio killer -

 

Cause he looks too damn good, that's how

 

In "Short Circuit" when Ben Jabituya played by Fisher Stevens in the scene when he was looking in amazement theat the Number 5 robot was only obeying the voice commands of Ally Sheedy -

 

I am standing here beside myself

[redhook47]

*The Day the Earth Stood Still* - 2008 Remake: Klaatu Barada Stinko

[CharlieT]

The original *Last House on the Left* - just keep telling yourself " It's only a waste of $7."

[skimpole]

Amarcord: Animal House with subtitles and an oscar that should have gone to Jacques Rivette or Werner Herzog

[Catwoman915]

Rear Window- Keep your shades drawn.

[LonesomePolecat]

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World:

 

The ultimate rat race with the Kings of Comedy!

[skimpole]

Natural Born Killers--Badlands with more drugs and a lot less talent: pyrotechnics as a subsitute for integrity.

[skimpole]

Happiness--you know maybe sentimentality doesn't make Billy Wilder that bad a director after all.

[skimpole]

Mississippi Burning-A movie for people who don't know much about the past, and don't care if it's done accurately.

 

Cries and Whispers-What "The Shining" would be like if Stephen King was a real novelist.

[skimpole]

Sorry, that should be

 

Mississippi Burning-A Historical movie for people who don't know about the past, and don't care to find out.

[skimpole]

The Night of the Hunter-The Perfect combination of film noir with Dr. Seuss

 

Barry Lyndon-Theodore Dreiser's revenge on "A Place in the Sun" and Lionel Trilling

[VideoVertigo]

2001: Randomly bizarre distractions used in place of an actual plot

 

Boomerang! (1947) When no one can think of a title, throw a dart at a dictionary page.

 

I, Robot: A film for people who never read Isaac Asimov, by people who never read Isaac Asimov

 

Bear Island (1971): See above, replace Asimov with Alistair MacLean

 

Ice Station Zebra: If you want to keep your other characters guessing whether your lead is a secret agent, calling him "John Smith" is sure to confuse them

 

The Horse Soldiers: John Wayne discovers the best way to get the girl is to use writers drunker than William Holden

[kingrat]

Au hasard, Balthazar: Non-actors torment a donkey.

[kingrat]

skimpole, this is a great idea.

 

Ben-Hur (1959): Heston in a toga beats Lemmon in a dress.

 

Braveheart: The hairdo that terrified the English.

 

Silence of the Lambs: Do me a fava, Clarice.

 

Persona: Just two halves of the same whole.

 

Taxi Driver: Even a loser can find fulfillment killing pimps.

 

Husbands: Reality never felt so phony.

[skimpole]

The Talented Mr. Ripley-Matt Damon kills Jude Law and very slowly gets away with it (Stephen Notley, of "Bob the Angry Flower" fame at angryflower.com)

 

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone-Wow, this works better than Ritalin (Keith Knight, of "The K Chronicles" fame at salon.com)