Jump to content

 
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
skimpole

Special Movie one-liner thread

Recommended Posts

Here's an idea for a thread. Readers could place one sentence zingers describing movies, and other readers could add them or disagree with them. Here are some examples:

 

Body Heat: It luxuriates in a nostalgia for movies the viewer has not actually seen.

 

Raging Bull: It's a Robert Bresson movie for people too lazy and stupid to see a real Robert Bresson movie.

 

Elizabeth: It's like the Godfather, only without that annoying moral complexity.

 

300: A study in gender confusion among comic book fans.

 

Crash [2005]: A movie that combines the story structure of Robert Altman with the philosophical depth of "Barney and Friends."

 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "Fanny and Alexander" and "Barry Lyndon" are movies with spines made of steel: this movie is what happens when you take out that steel and replace it with marshmellows.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK I'll give it a try.

 

"Hot Dog - The Movie": If you're totally starved for entertainment, this might just hit the spot.

 

Howzat?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Full Monty (was actually NOT)..but a fun film anyway (inspite of the F bombs).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"The Royal Tennenbaums," "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou," "The Darjeeling Limited,"--Wes Anderson is an acquired taste--not unlike some dangerous narcotics.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 from "Unforgiven"

 

"Having someone being shot at would rattle most folks" - Gene Hackman.

 

"He should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his establishment with my friend" - Clint Eastwood.

 

A line from "Baby Take A Bow" when Shirley Temple is freeing the boundup criminal loose with a large kitchen knife, he said "you'll cut my head off" - and Shirley replied *that's alright!*

 

A Babylon 5 episode when Zathras (keeper of the Great Machine on Epsilon 3) was explaining his poor life - "Poor Zathras, had a sad life, probually will have a sad death, at least there will be symmetry."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This isn't a thread about one-liners in movies, it's a thread of using one-liners to describe movies:

 

For example:

 

Gigi--What would happen if Ernst Lubitsch sold have his brains and spent the money on set decoration.

 

Gentleman's Agreement--You should never be mean to a Jew, because he might be a gentile in disguise. (This isn't mine, I believe it came from Elia Kazan. If I'm wrong, somebody please tell me.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remembered a couple more:

 

In "Dirty Harry" when Callahan played by Clint Eastwood, explained to the Chief the reason why he didn't beat up the Scorpio killer -

 

Cause he looks too damn good, that's how

 

In "Short Circuit" when Ben Jabituya played by Fisher Stevens in the scene when he was looking in amazement theat the Number 5 robot was only obeying the voice commands of Ally Sheedy -

 

I am standing here beside myself

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The original *Last House on the Left* - just keep telling yourself " It's only a waste of $7."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Amarcord: Animal House with subtitles and an oscar that should have gone to Jacques Rivette or Werner Herzog

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Natural Born Killers--Badlands with more drugs and a lot less talent: pyrotechnics as a subsitute for integrity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Happiness--you know maybe sentimentality doesn't make Billy Wilder that bad a director after all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mississippi Burning-A movie for people who don't know much about the past, and don't care if it's done accurately.

 

Cries and Whispers-What "The Shining" would be like if Stephen King was a real novelist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry, that should be

 

Mississippi Burning-A Historical movie for people who don't know about the past, and don't care to find out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Night of the Hunter-The Perfect combination of film noir with Dr. Seuss

 

Barry Lyndon-Theodore Dreiser's revenge on "A Place in the Sun" and Lionel Trilling

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2001: Randomly bizarre distractions used in place of an actual plot

 

Boomerang! (1947) When no one can think of a title, throw a dart at a dictionary page.

 

I, Robot: A film for people who never read Isaac Asimov, by people who never read Isaac Asimov

 

Bear Island (1971): See above, replace Asimov with Alistair MacLean

 

Ice Station Zebra: If you want to keep your other characters guessing whether your lead is a secret agent, calling him "John Smith" is sure to confuse them

 

The Horse Soldiers: John Wayne discovers the best way to get the girl is to use writers drunker than William Holden

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

skimpole, this is a great idea.

 

Ben-Hur (1959): Heston in a toga beats Lemmon in a dress.

 

Braveheart: The hairdo that terrified the English.

 

Silence of the Lambs: Do me a fava, Clarice.

 

Persona: Just two halves of the same whole.

 

Taxi Driver: Even a loser can find fulfillment killing pimps.

 

Husbands: Reality never felt so phony.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Talented Mr. Ripley-Matt Damon kills Jude Law and very slowly gets away with it (Stephen Notley, of "Bob the Angry Flower" fame at angryflower.com)

 

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone-Wow, this works better than Ritalin (Keith Knight, of "The K Chronicles" fame at salon.com)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

© 2020 Turner Classic Movies Inc. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Settings
×
×
  • Create New...