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skimpole

Special Movie one-liner thread

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The Woman in the Dunes: it's like Kafka's "The Castle." Indeed it's Kafka's "The Sand Castle!"

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> {quote:title=skimpole wrote:}{quote}

> Here's an idea for a thread. Readers could place one sentence zingers describing movies, and other readers could add them or disagree with them. Here are some examples:

>

> Body Heat: It luxuriates in a nostalgia for movies the viewer has not actually seen.

>

> Raging Bull: It's a Robert Bresson movie for people too lazy and stupid to see a real Robert Bresson movie.

>

> Elizabeth: It's like the Godfather, only without that annoying moral complexity.

>

> 300: A study in gender confusion among comic book fans.

>

> Crash [2005]: A movie that combines the story structure of Robert Altman with the philosophical depth of "Barney and Friends."

>

> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "Fanny and Alexander" and "Barry Lyndon" are movies with spines made of steel: this movie is what happens when you take out that steel and replace it with marshmellows.

skimpole

 

skimpole, hamradio and kingrat, you are all very funny.

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Publicity Blurb for McCabe and Mrs Miller: "Warren Beatty has never been braver, Julie Christie has never been more beautiful, Leonard Cohen's songs have never sucked less."

 

Ray--It's just like a Hollywood Golden Age biography, with all the evasion and a bit more heroin.

 

I've never seen Walk the Line, but apparently it has the same plot as Ray, only Joaquin Phoenix is whiter and lamer than Jamie Foxx.

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3 Women-Persona stoned

 

Sergeant York-The movie that shows that John Ford's patriotic kitsch is trickier to do than it looks.

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Two more I've heard during the past month. On *Dr Strangelove* during the brawl at the Pentagon - "you can't fight in here, this is a war room".

 

*Meet the Robinsons* Wilber said, "if my parents found out, they will bury me alive and dance on my grave."

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THE WAY WE WERE -- Robert Redford is Prettier than Barbra Streisand

 

THE GREAT GATSBY--Robert Redford is Prettier than Mia Farrow

 

THE LAST CASTLE -- Robert Redford is prettier than James Gandolfini--not quite the same level of

competition, but the fellow is almost 70 . . .

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By the way hamradio, the point of the thread is for oneliners that summarize movies, not oneliners from movies. That's why we don't have the scripts for "Duck Soup" and "Casablanca" here verbatim.

 

Four Friends--A better movie than Diner with a poorer cast?

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Precious: Based on the novel PUSH by Sapphire: You know, ONE rape was enough for Robert Bresson and George Bernanos.

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Nine: this is the movie for you if your problem with "Chicago" was that the songs were too memorable.

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2 good 1 liners from "Star Trek Generations" (1994).

 

I've been saving the galaxy since your grandfather was in diapers - Captain Kirk

 

I have an appointment with eternity and I don't want to be late - Dr Soren

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The Great Ziegfeld-I could watch William Powell for hours, but this is pushing it.

 

(Actually having seen about two-thirds of it yesterday, it's not as bad as popularly thought. The musical numbers are interesting, if not Swing Time sublime.)

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> {quote:title=skimpole wrote:}{quote}

> The Great Ziegfeld-I could watch William Powell for hours, but this is pushing it.

 

 

No wonder so many other ?Ziegfeld? movies were made after the 1936 version, because any of them would be better than that one.

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The Searchers--It is a movie of true integrity, because no one has been victimized by genocidal racism like Diane Keaton.

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Letter from an Unknown Woman--never has cinema craft and beauty been so devoted to dim witted ****.

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The Harry Potter movies--they are special movies because they show the young reader/viewer that they, like Harry Potter, are the most important and special people in the world, despite a complete lack of evidence to support that view.

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Avatar-Who would have thought that a gaudier, sentimentalized "The New World" with a lot of explosions would be the most successful movie in history.

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"Amarcord: Animal House with subtitles and an oscar that should have gone to Jacques Rivette or Werner Herzog "

 

Actually, the only thing "Amarcord" and "Animal House" have in common is that the titles both begin with the letter "A".

 

(not meant to be a one-line zinger, just an observation.)

 

Edited by: misswonderly on May 4, 2010 7:20 PM

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Body Heat-(I've done this before, but still) What would happen if you took the Fred MacMurray role in "Double Indemnity" and replaced it with an idiot.

 

Dogville-A damning portrait of America, if you think gang **** Nicole Kidman is something Americans are likely to do.

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Ben Hur-What Gone with the Wind would be like if Vivian Leigh couldn't act.

 

The Thin Red Line-the first pantheist war movie.

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The Searchers--It is a movie of true integrity, because no one has been victimized by genocidal racism like Diane Keaton.

 

Excuse me, but - ****???

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+The Searchers--It is a movie of true integrity, because no one has been victimized by genocidal racism like Diane Keaton.

 

Excuse me, but - ****???+

 

======================================================================

 

I suppose my logic, or my sarcasm, was not clear. The Searchers asserts that the most damning thing about Ethan Edwards is that he wishes not to rescue his niece, but kill her for having sex with Indians. In other words, in a movie that I suspect is strongly admired because it is penance for Birth of a Nation and Gone with the Wind we are asked to focus our sympathies on a white woman. Which is like criticizing anti-semitism by asking viewers to focus not on Jews, but on the gentile girlfriend of a Jew.

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+The Searchers--It is a movie of true integrity, because no one has been victimized by genocidal racism like Diane Keaton.

 

Excuse me, but - ****???+

 

======================================================================

 

I suppose my logic, or my sarcasm, was not clear. The Searchers asserts that the most damning thing about Ethan Edwards is that he wishes not to rescue his niece, but kill her for having sex with Indians. In other words, in a movie that I suspect is strongly admired because it is penance for Birth of a Nation and Gone with the Wind we are asked to focus our sympathies on a white woman. Which is like criticizing anti-semitism by asking viewers to focus not on Jews, but on the gentile girlfriend of a Jew.

 

But what does Diane Keaton have to do with all this?

(or am I just being too literal)

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