Special Movie one-liner thread

[skimpole]

Woody Allen is a Jew. Diane Keaton used to be his girlfriend. Making a movie about anti-semitism that focused our sympathy on Keaton because anti-semites might dislike her for having a Jewish boyfriend, rather on the Jews murdered by said anti-semites, would strike people as perverse. The same analogy applies to The Searchers.

[skimpole]

Interview with a Vampire--An underrated movie that deserves to be underrated. (Admittedly this joke could apply to all sorts of movies that one finds disappointing, a failure of genuine talent, like Heaven's Gate.)

 

The White Ribbon-Is Michael Haneke just a perverse Stanley Kramer with killer cinematography?

[skimpole]

The Shining-Scenes from a Marriage OR The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (which leads to the question: can one sum up movies simply by using the title of other movies?)

[skimpole]

Tropical Malady--it's the Thai version of Brokeback Mountain, only it's cooler and the Jake Gyllenhall character turns into a tiger halfway through the movie.

[clearskies]

Chicago: Pretty people but crosseyed from split second scenes borrowed from MTV.

[skimpole]

Unknown Pleasures-what a Quientin Tarantino or Martin Scorsese movie would be like if the hoods were the losers most criminals actually are.

[skimpole]

East of Eden-Without James Dean's performance this would just be a middlebrow soap opera; with it, it's a middlebrow soap opera with an awesome lead performance.

 

OR

 

The worst film to have a truly great performance.

[traceyk65]

> {quote:title=skimpole wrote:}{quote}

> Avatar-Who would have thought that a gaudier, sentimentalized "The New World" with a lot of explosions would be the most successful movie in history.

 

Or my reaction after seeing it:

 

Avatar: It's Pocahontas. In Space.

[skimpole]

The Exorcist--a movie that has the courage to show that puberty is the Anti-Christ.

[skimpole]

The Butterfly Effect: This is a movie with a very important message about time travel, to wit that you should never go back in time to try to change the past because you, Ashton Kutcher, are an idiot.

 

Andrei Rublev: It's kind of what Lawrence of Arabia would be like if Peter O'Toole didn't actually do anything.

[skimpole]

Stalker -It's like a really depressing version of The Wizard of Oz.

[skimpole]

The Untouchables: With this movie, Brian de Palma reaches new levels of competency.

[skimpole]

The Big Lebowski: If the murderer in Cutter's Way could have directed Cutter's Way, this is what he would have come up with.

[skimpole]

La Belle Noiseuse/The Quince-Tree Sun : It turns out that watching paint dry is more interesting than most Hollywood movies.

[skimpole]

Kitty Foyle : Ginger Rogers! No Singing! No Dancing!

[skimpole]

The Unbearable Lightness of Being: Post-1968 Prague is home to a particularly nasty and soul killing dictatorship. As well as great sex.

[Guest]

*Scarface* (De Palma remake) Look out! There's a bad guy comin' through.

[hamradio]

2 one liners from "E.T. The Extra-Terrestial". Just simply one word that made the movie memorable *Home* that ET keeps repeating.

 

That kid at the bus stop teasing about the goblin (ET) pronouncing Uranus in the way that makes that planet the pun of jokes. Where is he from, Your-****. Lol.

 

Edited by: hamradio on Jun 16, 2011 12:05 PM

[skimpole]

The Tree of Life: First, an architect's brother dies in Vietnam 40 years ago, then the universe is created, and then (Spoiler alert!) dinosaurs appear.

 

also: If a nine year old boy could create the world's greatest movie, this is what he would make.

 

1776: The movie that forgot "Wouldn't it be a great idea to make a movie about the debates over the Declaration of Independence and turn it into a musical" isn't really a rhetorical question.

[kingrat]

Love the comment about 1776.

 

Don't forget to vote in the programming challenge. You had the most films I'd love to see on TCM.

[CineMaven]

"THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE:" "It's a hot day and that's a leather seat. And I'm wearing a thin skirt."

[hamradio]

"Star Trek, The Motion Picture" (1979) - the scene where Spock told Kirk to treat V'Ger like a child. Bones McCoy replied Spock, this child is about to destroy every living thing on the planet. Now what do you want us to do... spank it?

[skimpole]

The Heartbreak Kid (original version): It's never a good idea to cheat on the director's daughter.

[hamradio]

"Dirty Harry" (1971) played this past week on the History Channel (go figure) and watching that reminded me of another one liner Dirty Harry Callahan used other than the make my day line. It's the scene where the Scorpio killer had himself beaten up to blame Callahan. Callahan denied it saying *he looks too damn good! :^0*

[skimpole]

Picnic at Hanging Rock : An audience friendly L'Aventura