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skimpole

Special Movie one-liner thread

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In the movie "Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects" before feeding the convicted child pimp to Bubba, Charles Bronson said I was thinking about leaving you on the side of the road in a gunny sack but that wouldn't be justice......poetic justice that is.

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Atonment : Sometimes you play a silly practical joke, things go horribly wrong and before you can fix things the second world war comes along and ruins everything.

 

The Thing (John Carpenter version): Instead of having nubile actresses and killing them for having sex, you have a first rate cast and do little with them but murder them in disgusting ways.

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****: Being a prostitute is hard, cruel, dangerous work: almost as bad as being directed by Ken Russell

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (David Fincher version): It's what you would get if you made a crasser, cruder version of Chinatown and then had it remade by a first rate but soulless professional.

 

Sans Soleil : The great movie that My Dinner with Andre thinks it is.

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Ghost World: Watch Scarlett Johannson play Quinn Morgendorfer doing a remarkable impression of Daria Morgendorfer.

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Walter Matthau marching in the big parade in "Hello Dolly". He said

I came here for some privacy.

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The Big Red One -The movie that Samuel Fuller hopes answer the question "What is the Great American war movie?" and actually answers "Has Mark Hamill been in anything other than those Star Wars movies?"

 

Edited by: skimpole on Jun 29, 2012 10:49 PM

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*Transformers* See what happens when Hollywood runs out of ideas.

 

 

*Scenes From a Marriage* You've seen the book, now read the movie!

 

 

*Lord Of The Rings* For those who didn't think the books were boring enough.

 

 

*Cabaret* Watch Liza Minelli and Michael York vie for a "best actress" nomination.

 

 

*The Hours* Relax, it only SEEMS that long.

 

 

*Mama Mia* An Italian title for a film that takes place on a Greek island peppered with American cheese covered pop songs by a Swedish bar band.

 

 

 

 

 

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*Night of the Lepus* Double-big batch of triple-big bunnies goes bye-bye in a barbecue.

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*Twilight* Everything you thought you knew about vampires is wrong! They can actually BE a harmless bunch of brooding, sullen and sensitive metrosexuals.

 

 

Sepiatone

 

 

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Zero Dark Thirty: It's view of torture is sort of like this Simpsons quote: "We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas." Also, to quote The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "I don't go around gratuitously shooting people and then brag about it in seedy space rangers' bars. I go around gratuitously shooting people, and then I agonize about it afterwards to my girlfriend." And if Jessica Chastain's character had more friends that's what she'd do.

 

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In "Tron" (1982), Sark and his goons are blocked by a virtual door the tower guardian Dumont put up.

 

Bring in the logic probe!.....Sark

 

This one liner has beien going through my mind the past week because I'm trying s-l-o-w-l-y construct one. Hope the outcome will not be END OF LINE! :_|

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"Short Circuit" (1986), the panic that occured when they realised the Number 5 robot was outside the gate.

 

Howard Marner....What if it goes out and melts down a bus load of nuns, how would you like to write the headline on that one?

 

Benjamin Jabituya..... Nun soup?

 

:P

e4f1cbdf-5025-4fe9-a88c-647b294332d2

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If Brazil is a full course banquet, and Memento excellent filet mignon, Looper is a handful of bland crackers.

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>

> *Mama Mia* An Italian title for a film that takes place on a Greek island peppered with American cheese covered pop songs by a Swedish bar band.

>

>

>

>

 

 

 

Is THAT why I hated that movie? I could hardly keep myself from throwing things at the screen while it was on. (The reason I had to watch it was that my friend brought it over and she liked it.)

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*Jane Eyre:* Orson Welles is letting Jane go off on her journey, and he tells her she's being a little cold and distant. She offers to shake hands.

 

He says, in that velvet voice, "Oh, you'll shake hands?"

 

And he takes her hand and the music comes up and it's the most romantic handshake in the history of the cinema, and the camera focuses on his big brown eyes and she looks up at him.

 

Damn, they knew how to create romance. The real stuff.

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*The Village* Most villages have only one idiot. THIS village only has one who isn't. SHE'S the lucky one because she's blind, and won't be able to see this swill!

 

Sepiatone

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American Hustle: Quick Change with delusions of grandeur

 

Nebraska: Alexander Payne's movie about why he's so glad he doesn't live there anymore.

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Avatar Take a little Pocahontas, add in some Fern Gully, put in a pinch of Dances With Wolves and combine with fancy 3D special effects to distract everyone from the unoriginal storyline!

 

Freddy Got Fingered The worst movie ever made and not in a good "Plan 9 From Outer Space" kind of way.

 

Dune about as entertaining as listening to a timeshare spiel

 

Clue Who knows what's going on most of the time? But whatever it is, it's magic.

 

Xanadu The greatest cheesy musical involving Greek Gods, a clarinet player and roller skating.

 

Rescue From Gilligan's Island How will Gilligan ruin the castaways' attempt to get off the island this time?

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Thanks! I just loathe "Avatar" so much, I couldn't resist taking a few pot shots at it.

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Some movie about the post war American occupation of Germany featured de-nazification tribunals, reorientation for Hitler Youth boys etc.The American army administrator told some German mother that her son could use:

 

"... less heel clicking and more baseball!"

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