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MIDNIGHT COWBOY

 

Was it only a year ago that she and the handsome hustler had met? It seemed like forever, considering what she'd been through. But here he was, before her and she was willing to take up where they left off. When he asked her to pick up the tab, she began to...

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LOOK BACK IN ANGER

 

How had it come to this, Crystal wondered, sitting in the bar of the Sudan Hilton with this user? Her mind began to drift back to better times,before Buck Winston had become a hustler and when all she had to do was spray perfume in the crook of her arm for the married men who swarmed around the perfume counter to but "Summer Rain" for their wives. Her reverie ceased abruptly, for sitting slumped on a stool at the end of the bar and eying her warily was...

 

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SISTER KENNY

 

This was more than Crystal could tolerate. A face from a past that she had forgotten as soon as that miserable part of her childhood was over. Crystal had conracted Polio and Sister Kenny was called in to help with her exercises. For years the good sister put Crystal through agony, in hopes that she would recover. She did, but not without fueling a ...

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*Lost Weekend*

 

And lost weekends made her morose, depressed, suicidal. She brooded over the fact that her life had become a series of encounters with one-time lovers, husbands, enemies, crazy kids with pet monkeys and overzealous caregivers. Time to go! The second she was slightly sober she made a reservation on the first flight out to?

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TORTILLA FLAT

 

She figured she could lay low for a while, gain back some of the weight she lost and maybe meet a rich peasant. But bad luck continued to hound her. All she met were strange people with very strange accents...Irish/Mexican, Austrian/Mexican and Brooklyn/Mexican...she thought she had completely lost her mind until...

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*The Big Shakedown*

 

Suddenly someone new arrived on the scene, someone Crystal could connect with. He called himself Jeff and he was looking for someone named Kathie who?d stolen lotsa money. This was right up Crystal?s alley. She spritzed herself with her never-fail perfume, sashayed over to Jeff?s table, sat down and said?

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WHERE ARE YOUR CHILDREN?

 

Yes, Crystal was one of the few who knew about Jeff and Cathy's kids. Three sets of twins in short order as possible. It took a lot out of Cathy (literally) and she was never again the same

beautiful, outgoing woman. She turned into a spiteful, jealous harpy who loved to kill men. She already had two notches on her gun at the time of that fateful meeting, and there would soon be...

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The Dirty Dozen.

 

Once she had dispatched with Jeff, she didn't give one more thought to the children who were left behind. They weren't going to be her problem, let someone else take over the child caring duties, she didn't care anymore. That she might have serious mental problems didn't occur to her, as she hailed a taxi. She told the driver to take her to:

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PEYTON PLACE

 

The New Hampshire air did wonders for Crystal, clearing out her mind and easing her conscience about her past misdeeds. Gone were those troubling dreams about aliens, killer fish, cannibal teens, and especially that puzzling one about the bears and picnic baskets. Maybe it would be possible after all to realize that long-ago childhood dream of becoming...

 

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*Miss Sadie Thompson*

 

Crystal wondered if perhaps she had been Sadie in another life?there was the strange recurring dream she kept having about Pago Pago and Walter Huston of all people, and?something about rain?Crystal so desired a new life it seemed like starting over once more might work if only she could?

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REMEMBER THE DAY

 

Yes, that's it, thought Crystal. If she could get to the bottom of these past-life regressions she would finally be at peace. All at once she was obsessed with tracking these events to their source. It became a mission she couldn't ignore, so she decamped for the South Seas, and during the rainy season, just like in her dream. Only...wait a minute..Why am I standing here at the bottom of these stairs with a gun in my hand? And why is that man lying there on the ground? I have the overwhelming feeling that I still love this man with all my heart. What past life is this anyway? Crystal looked around the plantation imploringly, hoping for an answer. Suddenly, she sensed a presence in the shadows and was alarmed to see...

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*The Man Who Played God*

 

Crystal soon discovered that this powerful man was actually a lawyer hired by another man who claimed to be her husband! It seems she actually had shot the man she loved with all her heart and was charged with murder! This was beyond belief. On top of that, when she glanced in the mirror she realized she now had Bette Davis eyes. I?ve got to be dreaming, she thought, it?s either a bad dream or?

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*The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe*

 

He was lurking in the doorway of the room. She was sure it was T.E.Lawrence, whom she had seduced some years earlier. She sauntered over and inquired why he was there. He said that he left Arabia and had been trailing a couple of teens who had stolen a priceless chimpanzee from an oil rich Arab Sheik. The sheik was offering a king's ransom for it's return. It had been a gift to the Sheik from wife number 21, his lucky number. Lawrence said that he heard that Crystal had known the teens and he was hoping that she could help him. He said that he almost had caught them once but he lost a shoe and had to hop for several miles through the burning sands to find a town. Crystal felt a little sick to her stomach, but always the schemer, she said that she would help him if he would split the reward with her. While she was wondering where she was going to find another chimpanzee, they agreed to meet in the morning and start a journey for

 

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MONKEY ON MY BACK

 

This was a refuge for unwanted and geriatric monkeys...just the place Crystal could work her plan to outwit the lawyer with one shoe. She found the manager and to her surprise it turned out to be none other than Tippi Hedrin. She schmoozed with her about the old days with Alfred and what a joy it was to see Suzanne Plechette pecked to death by those birds. Then they got down to what she'd come there for...a monkey that would fool everyone...even the sheik. If they pulled it off, they would off the lawyer, split the dough and open a refuge for birds...an endeavor close to Tippi's heart since the early sixties. Of course Crystal had no intention of using Tippi any longer than she needed to...then it would be Tippi as carion for the vultures and Crystal, free again. She didn't count on one thing, however, She was ...

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*Captive Girl*

 

Because Crystal's reputation had now spread far and wide, and nobody trusted her. As it turns out the casting director for a new Tarzan film was being filmed and he had come to Tippi's compound to cast the lead chimp for the film. Not happy with what he saw he sent for Cheetah and Bonzo. When Crystal found out that the 2 were on there way down there she knew she'd be.......

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*Front Page Woman*

 

?so Crystal decided to go home. Back to that little town in Texas she returned. That dusty little no-horse town where the last movie theater had closed years earlier. She got a job as a waitress in the local diner and tried to renew a romance with her first love, Sam the Lion. But Sam didn?t seem interested. In fact, he told her?

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MARCH OR DIE

 

Realizing that a return to a small town after all she had done, wasn't too good an idea; so she packed her bags (still the clothes-horse) and walked the half-mile to the train station. Just in the door, she noticed an old school chum, Rosa Moline, looking none too good. After a brief talk they realized that they were both in the same boat, and decided to join forces. They would go to Chicago and meet men with money. In the clubcar, they ordered....

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*A Walk in the Clouds*

 

This was a popular new cocktail of the time. Unfortunately it was the last cocktail Crystal ever drank. She choked, ironically, on the feathered swizzle stick. Rosa was distraught and jumped from the train to her death. What a double tragedy! The headlines screamed?

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LA TERRA TREMA

 

Wouldn't you know...they were cheated out of their just fame...because of an esrthquake! Well they say everything happens for a reason, and as far as Rosa and Crystal are concerned, they're better left a distant memory. Why rehash all the damage they wrought throughout their sad lives?

The next day the papers ran a short article about their mysterious deaths on page 6 (bottom half)

Now for the news of the day...a newspaper never sleeps...the headlines today read...

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*All About Eve*

 

?trumpeting the tawdry tale of Eve Harrington?s rise to fame. Eve had suddenly left Addison for a strapping young stage hand and Addison, as he?d always threatened to do, outed her in spades. Eve and her man slipped out of Gotham with plans to?

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Reap the wild wind

 

Well, not plans, actually, but that's what happened as soon as they entered the tornado belt. Eve's new man seemed nonplussed about it all, but Eve was terrified. Whirling around the windows of their getaway car were...a rowboat? And a cow. And...Oh, my goodness, a strange looking old woman on a bicycle. If I ever get out of this alive, thought Eve, I'll surely...

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*Return to Yesterday*

 

When she did survive the tornado, Eve was ambivalent. She?d sworn to return to what she?d left behind. That meant dumping her gorgeous stage hand and trying to manipulate her way back into Addison DeWitt?s good graces. Shudder. She decided to keep her promise?sort of. She?d go back to yesterday only as far as the point when she and handsome were leaving New York. They?d leave again! This time, to be safe, they?d fly to L.A. All went well until?

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THEY CAME TO CORDURA

 

Now Eve Harrington had a real problem. She could see Addison's spies on every corner. It could only mean one thing: he couldn't forget her any more than she could forget him. Now the whole sordid episode with the handsome stage hand faded in her mind as she thought of those glorious moments they had shared, or at least that she had tricked him into sharing. Now that she had time travel under her belt, she felt: Why not go all the way? Why not return to the evening of the Sarah Siddons Awards banquet when she and Addison had been such a team? Eve steeled herself and took a breathless leap into...

 

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*The Abyss*

 

Sad but true, Eve Harrington could not face going either backward or forward and so ended her days at the bottom of a cliff. The stage hand was relieved, Eve had been a hysterical wreck ever since they left New York - twice. He continued on to L.A., got into the movies and made a name for himself as?

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