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*As Good As It Gets*

 

and Sal and Peggy agreed to that.It was then that Peg knew Jackie was the one to emulate. Not only would she start to look the part, but she would start to act regally and if she didn't make partner at Sterling Cooper in a years time, she would somehow become Jackie's PR gal, she just had to......

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PLAY IT AS IT LAYS

 

Peggy would have to think long-term and be willing to take risks, but the thought of being part of Jackie's inner circle thrilled her. Her thoughts were distracted by Sal's barrage of questions about Mrs. Kennedy's color palette, choice of fibers, etc., etc. Sal could go on and on. To end the questions, Peggy asked if he'd seen Joan's new outfit fashioned from the new miracle stretch fabric designed for astronauts. Sal dutifully trotted off in search of Joan, leaving Peggy to wonder: Where IS Joan? She's usually so omnipresent, lurking at the fringes of meetings and conversations. Could it be that at this very moment, Joan is.....?

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*Searching for Bobby Fischer*

 

Joan, who had closely observed Peggy Olson?s rise at Sterling Cooper, had become determined to break out of the rut of her dead end job. Aware that it would be difficult to move up from Office Manager jobs if she stayed in the business world, she?d begun to follow the youthful chess prodigy?s career and had learned to play the game. Of course, she also loved the Limbo Rock, the Watusi and the Twist and wasn?t sure whether to become a chess player or a dancer. Today she had slipped away to see her therapist hoping to finally figure out?

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WHAT PRICE GLORY?

 

Joan's therapist got right down to business. Had Joan been faithfully practicing The Mashed Potato? To realize her twin dreams of chess mastery and reknown as a dancer, she would need to work hard to excel, constantly adding to her skills. This radical new approach to therapy had left Joan exhausted, but it came highly recommended by the many celebrity clients, and it goes without saying that celebrities are the most discriminating of all humans. The therapist's current strategy was to get Joan on The Council at The Corny Collins Show, and all good things would surely flow from there. Impressed by an 8x10 glossy of Joan, Corny himself had extended a personal invitation to her to.....

 

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*Talk To Me*

 

about the exciting life of a beautiful 30 ish gal in NY. After all, she had a career, a finance who was a doctor- was becoming a chess champion and could break out in a dance in a minute. Corny was a Jack Parr wannabe. His rise to fame was questionable- but to get back to Joan- She would jump at the chance to become the......

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TALK OF THE TOWN

 

Naturally, Joan realized that not all talk was good, and that too much notoriety could close certain doors to you. If it wasn't to be at The Corny Collins Show, then so be it. The world of chess still beckoned. She wasn't outfoxed yet. Sneaking a surreptitious look at her therapist's client list, she was pleased to see the name of someone who could surely mentor her. She would have to have to keep her doctor fiance out of the loop, because he would never approve of her relationship with.....

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*The Man Who Talked Too Much*

 

...Jack Paar himself! Now that was a man and a talk show that would launch anyone?s career! Joan began to imagine herself talking, dancing and chess-ing with Oscar Levant, Judy Garland, Jack Douglas & his wife Reiko?possibly JFK?!? Joan memorized Paar?s number when she glimpsed it. She planned to call him the minute she got back to the office and introduce herself as?

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THE I DON'T CARE GIRL

 

Joan hoped playing it cool and being aloof with Mr. Paar would work to her advantage, and her hunch proved to be correct. She soon found herself in the green room, watching Judy on the monitor telling her amusing anecdotes about The Munchkins and Victor Fleming. Joan searched her memory for anecdotes she could tell on the air which would captivate the viewers as much as Judy's had. Her mind was flooded with memories of all the goings-on at Sterling-Cooper and, as she mentally edited them into an amusing scenario, she felt a pang of guilt for the indiscretion she was about to commit. Don Draper in particular would not be understanding if she were to tell millions of viewers that he had a history of....

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*Chasing Trouble*

 

in the form of nearly every woman he met. She knew Roger would be upset if she revealed his history of philandering, and she knew Bertram Cooper would not be amused by stories about him padding around Sterling Cooper in his socks. Would she dare out Sal? Would she joke about Ken?s bumbling passes? As she considered what might be her most clever anecdote, she began to zero in on Jane Siegel. She despised Jane who swept Roger off his feet and was now his fianc?e?yes, she decided, she?d tell the world about Jane Siegel and how she managed to?

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COME TO THE STABLE

 

At Roger's country estate, late one evening, she meandered into the stables where Roger housed his triple crown winning horses. There in all the luxurious warmth, the exotic scents, and the wonderful hay, she became so carried away, that she allowed one of the studs to have his way with her. After a night of wild abandon, she found herself wandering in the south paddock, still inebriate of horse scent and debauche of morning dew. When the search party finally spotted her, they rushed to her aide and found her in a strange state (possibly Arizona), she thanked them for finding her, but in her heart she wished they'd left her alone. On the way back to the estate, she took a fond look back and saw to her amazement...

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*The Wizard of Oz*

 

Meanwhile, back in New York Joan was about to go on national TV and relate the story of Jane?s wild fantasy life and how she seduced Roger. But when Jack Paar introduced her and she came out to take her seat not far from Oscar Levant, she blurted out?

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IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD

 

"And that ain't the half of it", blurted out Oscar Levant, always ready to join any conversation, no matter how bizarre, which was why he was a perennial favorite of Paar's. Jack seemed a little apprehensive about where this was leading, but then Jack always seemed a little apprehensive. With Oscar as her buffer, Joan felt ready to name names as she spun her tale of the madness of the advertising world and the trickery some people were capable of to get ahead. At the last minute, she realized she would only be hurting herself, since Jane had one of the most powerful men in that world in her corner. Joan ended with some generalizations which nonetheless had the audience in stitches, prompting Oscar Levant to quip that.....

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*There's No Business Like Show Business*

 

...and then told a clever story about working on *An American in Paris*. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, the show was over and Joan was chatting back stage with Levant and Paar. Paar, with his trademark sincerity, promised her that she would be invited back, the audience loved her and he loved her. Just days later he walked off his show and Joan and all of America was left to wonder?

 

Message was edited by: theladyeve who couldn't stop tinkering

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WHO'S GOT THE ACTION?

 

That turned out to be a young game show host from the Midwest, who was tapped to fill the Tonight Show slot. Not wanting to be caught napping while her future on the show hung in the balance, Joan decided to approach this...Mr. Carson, was it?..to see if they had the same kind of chemistry she'd had with Mr. Paar. To her delight, Johnny was very open to the idea of....

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*The Girl Who Dared*

 

Joan was a little uncertain of the new host; Paar had been so popular and such a fixture on late-night. But she figured she had nothing to lose, she and Johnny really hit it off and he was much more attractive than Paar. And what a scintillating pair the two turned out to be on the air!! In fact, years later Johnny sometimes regretted that he?d married a Joan, a Joanne and a Joanna but had let this one get away?sweet, gorgeous Joan Holloway of the green eyes, red hair and?

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THE BIG BOUNCE

 

Nobody, but nobody, could fail to notice when Joan walked into a room. Her new celebrity status was getting her nothing but furtive looks back at the office, however. She would have to be careful not to feed into the normal petty jealousies and unfounded gossip that thrive in such enviroronments. She had always managed to set the tone for the office, and now was no time to see that slip away from her. To keep things on an even keel, she decided to....

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*Do the Right Thing*

 

And so Joan cut back on her Tonight Show appearances and increased her visibility at Sterling Cooper as its ultra-efficient Office Manager. Soon, though, she began to hear from one of the agency?s clients, Happy Soap, who was looking for a new girl to pitch its suds on a weekly TV commercial. Joan realized she could make piles of money selling Happy Soap?and she could hardly resist

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THE HUCKSTERS

 

It seemed like a good fit indeed to Joan, who knew from industry gossip that the previous Happy Soap spokeswoman, Beverly Boyer, had amassed a small fortune, before she turned to canning tomatoes full-time. Her only competition on the airwaves at the moment would be Rebel Davis, the new spokesmodel for VIP, whatever that was. Joan knew she could he happy for the camera, and she knew that she could sell, sell, sell. The only thing she wasn't quite sure she could do was....

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*Go Naked in the World*

 

Joan would be pitching from a bubble-filled bathtub on most of her commercials and even though she would be wearing strategically placed flesh-colored bits and pieces, she would be primarily bare. Weighing her discomfort at being nearly nude in public against an $80,000 contract, her modesty lost. Joan decided that with the help of a Milltown before each shoot she?d be able to?

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TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN

 

Don Draper had had the courage to drop out and reassess his life, and Joan was beginning to feel that same urge. Or WAS it courage? Maybe it was fear, the fear of things moving too quickly, with no time to contemplate the changes. Something was different in Don's case though. Joan had the distinct feeling that Don was hiding something...maybe many things. The only thing that she herself had to hide, really, was....

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*An Affair to Remember*

 

Her long affair with Roger Sterling could never come to light. She?d never believed Roger would leave his wife, but since he had done just that to be with Jane Siegel, Joan could hardly bear to think of him. While her doctor fianc? had been a feather in her own cap, Roger had been the one. On the bright side, the money and celebrity she gained from selling Happy Soap ought to bring her a new crop of admirers. Joan was hoping for someone with the looks of the sizzling star of *The Hustler* and *Sweet Bird of Youth*, the money of the Kennedys, and the brains of?

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THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING

 

This was the highest goal Joan had ever set for herself, but it was also one she felt empowered to realize. Grace Kelly had done it; so had Rita Hayworth. They had both attracted powerful, handsome men with a prominent place on the world stage. She would finally be able to look back at her entanglement with Roger with no regrets. Roger would finally be the one with the regrets.

Her recent modelling work had put her in touch with a trio of women holed up in an exclusive apartment looking for suitable husbands. Joan felt certain that an alliance with Pola, Loco and Schatzi would bring her that much closer to her dream, barring the unlikely occurance of.....

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*A Simple Twist of Fate*

 

But Joan was certain fate was on her side: she had the Happy Soap contract, the three millionaire chasers were her best friends and if all else failed, she had Sterling Cooper to fall back on. She was in such a good mood she kept catching herself humming ?Everything?s Coming Up Roses.? Just before the cab arrived to take her to the studio to shoot her first commercial, the phone rang. It was her answering service with an urgent message from Roger Sterling begging Joan to?

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RETURN TO PEYTON PLACE

 

That small New Hampshire hamlet had been their trysting place in days gone by. This could only mean one thing. Roger had grown tired of the underhanded Jane and her ulterior motives. That must be what this was all about...Or...Was Roger going to ask for her silence? She'd been talking nonstop on TV about the scandalous goings-on at the agency, barely bothering to conceal identities. Whatever Roger's reasoning may be, Joan knew she couldn't resist hearing what he had to say. She would hire a car and driver to take her to their rendezvous, as soon as she could....

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*Shoot the Moon*

 

Joan wasn?t about to give up her chance at fame and fortune, not even for Roger Sterling. She wasn?t about to walk away from the money and glory Happy Soap promised. She left a message for Roger suggesting drinks after the shoot; she couldn?t resist seeing him again or the possibility of taking him away from scheming Jane. When Joan finally went downstairs to be picked up she realized that the car that had been sent for her was a limo not a cab. Joan beamed. Her dreams were coming true and she knew she wanted?

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