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Movies are the answer


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*THE WIND*

 

began to blow...so much so that the shards of paper on which they still appeared, were blown hither and yon. By the end of the storm, there was nothing left of the giant poster and the community it housed, but mud running in the gutters of Manhattan. In a flash there was nothing left that gave even a hint of they're ever existing (if only on paper...Rizla or ZigZag). Fading into memory, the populace continued their efforts without a slight hesitation, Down the street, near MacDougall Alley a duet of young sisters were moving into their new apartment. Things were not going smoothly, thanks to a most unpleasant landlord. He insisted that they.....

 

Edited by: visualfeast on Feb 11, 2010 2:35 PM

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Eat Drink Man Woman

 

?which really took them aback since the meaning was not altogether clear to them and they demurely and perhaps prudently declined to attend the banquet he was hosting that very night opting instead to dine in and contemplate?

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*THE DEEP*

 

meaning of this ominous utterance. Were they going to be drawn into a cult of devil worshipers? Would they be sold into white slavery? Would they grow to like the taste of Man-Woman? They contemplated all night long, taking no time to pause and eat dinner, so by morning, they decided to stop for breakfast. The sunny street belied what was ahead for them on that fateful day. They found a cozy diner, and seated themselves by the window. Just then, walking by was....

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A Chef in Love

 

?who turned his head and looked at them in a most amorous manner. The two girls practically choked on their Swiss chard omelets when they saw that he resembled the landlord. The waiter came with the check and he too looked the landlord and the chef and was flush with admiration for the girls. Uh oh, they thought...

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*THE MAN FROM THE DINER'S CLUB*

 

was after them! They hadn't paid their bill in months and in fact, were on the lamb from this very man...that's why they hoped to disappear into the human mass of NYC. But there he was about to enter the eatery and pounce upon them. And there they were without a cent even to pay for their humble omelette. Just then the kitchen door opened and a handsome chap motioned for them to follow him. Without options, they joined him and heard his proposition. He needed two cute girls to front for his new TV show MAN IN THE KITCHEN. They agreed to go along with it and in no time were under the counter and out of sight, Just then the door swung open and in walked....

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A Man for All Season-

 

...-ings who was in charge of the spices and seeing the two cute girls began to eye them which made the sisters very nervous and was wondering why everyone seemed to be looking at them this way, then they realized that...

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*THEY WERE NOT DIVIDED*

 

For years they had gotten used to the fact that they were Siamese Twins...in fact everyone in the small town in which they grew up treated them as individuals, but here in a new city, they had to endure the discomfort all over again. One of the men in charge barked out instructions..."how can you operate separately in a kitchen...without causing havoc...or a fire?" He had immediately developed a honey of a yen for one of them and had to find out how far he could go without the other one causing problems. "Oh, we are like two entities" they repeated. "OK" he yelled, and rehearsals for the show began. But not without incident. First off, they....

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  • 1 month later...

*Can?t Stop the Music* in their heads. So all bets and plans were off, they returned home, married twins and lived happily ever after.

 

Meanwhile, back in the big apple, Don and Roger were happily making plans to?

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  • 2 months later...

>Can?t Stop the Music in their heads. So all bets and plans were off, they returned home, married twins and lived happily ever after...Meanwhile, back in the big apple, Don and Roger were happily making plans to?

 

Stand By Me

 

...which would be quite a feat since I was in Pittsburgh, PA, having left the Big Apple due to wild rumors of a...

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*Night of the Living Dead*?as usual an overstatement. Yes, some Manhattan types are zombielike but (having seen more living dead in P-burg than Manhattan) I quickly returned to NYC once the panic subsided and made my way to La Cote Basque and that infamous table where La Capote entertained?

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*WarGames*?no, Tru didn?t care about that?he was preoccupied with plans for his soon-to-be-legendary Black & White Ball and the release of his soon-to-be-celebrated true crime volume?meanwhile, I took a cab to the Upper West Side and combed the streets for?

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Tea with Mussolini

 

?, which was rather draining, not only because I don?t like tea but because I don?t speak a word of Italian. Not knowing the language was probably a blessing and made Sal Anthony?s that much more fun, especially due to...

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*The Godfather*, who happened to be at the restaurant that night and who, in a moment of generosity, picked up my tab (I?ve always had that effect on Italian-American men...but I digress). I managed to slip out of Sal?s after Vito implied that I now owed him a favor and caught a taxi to 21 ?I arrived just in time to?

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Ride the Pink Horse

 

?a popular locution that meant trying 21?s new controversial entr?e, the problem being that it was from real horsemeat (with that delectable new pink sauce) which had the Peta people waxing indignant but I could hardly be bothered by that since looking over my shoulder I espied none other than Vito who must have tailed me and?

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*My Dinner with Andre* came to an abrupt and (for Andre) brutal end. I decided it might be wise to find out right now exactly what it was that Vito wanted of me. It wasn?t as simple as I?d imagined?Vito was strictly a family man and faithful to his wife, Carmella. What he wanted from me had to do with his second son, Fredo. ?Fredo,? he told me, ?isn?t like the other two boys, he?s not strong. He drinks too much and he?s always chasing trampy cocktail waitresses. I want him to meet someone like you, someone pretty but smart. He needs a woman smart enough to teach him how to??

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*Ride The Wild Surf*. It seems that Fredo had seen "The Endless Summer" and dearly wanted to be a champion surfer, but he never had a lesson. I agreed to give Fredo private lessons. I told Vito that I would have Fredo "hanging ten" within a week. Vito replied that Fredo already knew how to do that. "Why just last week, we had him hang twelve or thirteen, I can't remember the exact number", he casually remarked. I made an excuse that I had to go wax my board and I would meet Fredo at the beach the following day. I searched the yellow pages for surf shops and finally found one not far away. It was called ...

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*A Summer Place* but there was no Percy Faith music playing in this place! No, some of the Z Boys owned it and in no time they had Fredo not only hanging 20 but skateboarding atop the Getty Museum and the Capitol Records building. My assignment completed, I returned to the Big Apple in search of my two favorite rascals, Don Draper and Roger Sterling. They weren?t hard to find, all I had to do was take a taxi to?

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*The Stork Club*. They were at the bar, Don with his scotch and Roger his martini. They spotted me and waved me over. We were just leaving heading over to Chauncey's, Freddy Rumson's and Sal's new pub in the village. They named it Chaunceys after the beautiful Irish Setter that bum Duck had abandoned. After Freddy had been let go from Sterling Cooper, his wife left him and he wound up on skid row where he found poor Chauncey. He bumped into Sal whose wife had also left him, and he had taken to "cruising" in the Village. They both decided to pull themselves together and after awhile they fell in love. Freddy and Sal decided they would........

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*Return to Peyton Place* and move into a little house with a rose garden, a white picket fence and a porch with a swing. They had trouble finding a seller, though, and instead wisely moved to the village and opened Chauncey?s. The reunion of Don, Roger, Sal, Freddie and Chauncey was a night to remember?but their celebration was such no one but Chauncey (and this was questionable) remembered a thing. When Roger?s Diner?s Club bill covering the evening arrived in the mail he was surprised to see he?d paid for?

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The Dancer Upstairs

 

?which was quite appalling really since he was not aware such goings took place at Roger?s and made a note to complain about this at the earliest convenience, paying for it, that is. At least it didn?t ruin the reunion since no one remembered anything anyway. Meantime Chauncy?s was doing well and they congratulated themselves accordingly although...

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*The Thin Man* (Roger) quickly became bored with Chauncey?s and was soon back at his favorite watering hole sizing up the ladies who entered with their gentlemen. When not musing things like ?I like redheads?their mouths are like a drop of strawberry jam in a glass of milk,? he was plotting how to?

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*Run for the Money*. If he could steal a million, he wouldn't ever end up paying such a high Diner's Club bill again for 'The Dancer Upstairs,' a dangerous temptress he could never have for more than an hour's entertainment. If he found a way to heist the cash, he would never again be forced to...

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The Set Up

 

?that he was accustomed to and which, of course, yielded nothing?no, this time it was big money or nothing. He consulted a seasoned pro in the fight game and was given the inside track on a wager that could make him rich. The only problem was?

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