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Movies are the answer


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  • 1 month later...

>The Set Up

>

>that he was accustomed to and which, of course, yielded nothing no, this time it was big money or nothing. He consulted a seasoned pro in the fight game and was given the inside track on a wager that could make him rich. The only problem was..

 

.. *The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse* had beaten him to the punch. Our Doctor's intellect cast a dark shadow over other's attempts at..

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*Boxing Helena*

 

He figured that actress Helena Bonham Carter was kind of small and would be a sure bet to lose, but the doctor convinced him that she was tougher than she looked, so he turned his attention elsewhere. He came up with a plan to retrieve pearls from giant oysters, figuring that the pearls would be pretty big, too. So he set out for .......

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*Pascali's Island*

 

...where he suspected the best specimens were to be found. But before departing, he remembered he couldn't embark on any important enterprise without his secret weapon. But, to his dismay, he found that...

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.. *One Hundred Men and a Girl*

 

.. had absconded with not only his new weapon, but his cache of jewels to boot!

"Now what ?", he thought aloud. "Of course! I'll.." ..

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*Run Silent, Run Deep*

 

until he can find his brother Dr Frank Griffin, since he was the illegimate brother to the two Griffin brothers who invented the serum to become invisible and the antidote against insanity. Then he could exact his revenge on......

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*42nd Street*

 

.. where Dr. Griffin was known to have secreted away his horrible failures on human subjects in his dungeon-like offices below the ever busy streets of this great city. In this place.. this is where his revenge would be extracted as..

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*Dark Shadows*

 

crept over the bustling metropolis above. That's when all of the denizens of Broadway came out. One of them, a small time race track tout and dice game organizer named Nathan Detroit, just happened to be looking for a doctor. His lady friend, a show girl known only as Miss Adelaide, had developed some sort of strange allergy. Every time he came near her, she couldn't seem to stop sneezing. In his search for medical assistance, he suddenly stopped and exclaimed "Wait a minute!, I have a relative that's a doctor, I'll call him!". He found a phone booth, which is not easy to do these days, and called the operator. "Operator", he said, "Can you get me the number for ...

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DR MONICA

 

...remembering suddenly that his relative doctor, Dr Jekyll, was out of body somewhere (whatever that meant) and was nowhere to be found which was okay as he had always been a little suspicious of him for some reason. Dr Monica, who was a sneeze specialist and had a reputation for being able to cure anything at all with the simple use of a safety pin, came on the line and in answer to questions concerning Miss Adelaide, said, "...

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*Calling Dr. Kildare*

 

Is what you must do. Go quickly to Blair General Hospital. Dr. Kildare will perform our sinus safety pin technique. If it fails we'll know the problems are psychosomatic and emotional (unless it's an allergy to Mindy's streudel)

I use to be the doctor for the King of the Underworld but relatives of that gang blame me for their demise so I changed my name to Dr. Monica and I'm now in practice with.......

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A THOUSAND CLOWNS

 

...which I must call them because this is the worst clinic ever. Half of them are down with allergies for not being able to resist Mindy's Streudel." So the man took the advice and tried to reach Dr Kildare but while the phone was ringing, Miss Adelaide calmly informed him that ...

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*The Exorcist*

 

was in town . "This certainly complicates matters. Don't you think?" Who are you talking to? Me!? I'm me! Oh great! Now I really need a doctor. Nathan's mind was begining to check out on him. There was a post-it note on the inside of his left eye which read: Gone fishing. Ohhhh now it was his turn to see the doctor, so he hailed a cab which came to a screeching halt at his kneecaps. The rear door flew open as the cab was still rocking.. "Hop in, buddy. Where to?" "Just get me...

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MARY STEVENS, M.D.

 

..., she specializes in post-it note removal and besides there are good mags in the waiting room." The cab driver was no help because he didn't know no stinking Mary Stevens and Nathan fell into despair knowing that being possessed by post-it pads was a condition he could ill afford, especially one that said "gone fishing." He hated fish and the smell was invading his sinuses and spreading to his inner right ear. He was about to throw up when ...

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*Dr. Gillespie's New Assistant*

 

... pulled open the rear door of the cab since the driver, not knowing who Mary Stevens was but knowing a potential medical problem when he sees one, serendipitously drove to the emergency entrance for Blair General. However, as Nathan tumbled out of the cab shouting out Dr. Kildare's name, Dr. Adams informed him that Dr. Kildare was no longer employed at Blair General. And then, while waving his hand in front of his crinkled nose, Dr. Adams asked Nathan if he had been eating sushi at ...

 

Edited by: LiamCasey on Mar 29, 2014 11:10 PM - Used wrong pronoun ("he" versus "she") for the cab driver plus a spelling mistake.

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42 STREET

 

...Wooshie Sushi And Die, a new restaurant for thrill seekers that boasts a 34% mortality rate within 48 hours, but Nathan said no, the percentage wasn't high enough and instead talked about his Post-It Note eye problem for which he was immediately committed to the psycho ward. He met someone there who identified himself as the Abbe Faria and ...

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*The Hare-Brained Hypnotist*

 

... said, in his best Arthur Q. Bryan doing Elmer Fudd voice, "Don't mind the banging. That is just George Sims behind these bwicks. Or is it those bwicks? Oh, it is so hawd keeping twack of that man! And what is that odow!" But, just before Nathan could ask Faria (or was it Fawia?) to repeat himself using his best Arthur Q. Bryan doing Doc Gamble voice instead, Nathan was grabbed from behind by Cesare and thrown silently (what else) into ...

 

Question: Is it a cheat to use a Warners Bros. animated short in this thread?

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  • 2 weeks later...

A MERRY WAR

 

...with the authorities at the hospital who informed him that he had imagined all this business with the impersonizations and that Elmer Fudd was not a real person. This last so infuriated Nathan that he launched into a virtuoso performance of The Complete Mel Blanc doing every character in rapid succession that had the whole staff in stitches, except of course the Abbe Fawia (sic) who was busy with ...

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Dr. Detroit

 

He was a visiting psychiatrist who heard Nathan's voice in the next room.  "That's my cousin Nathan", he exclalimed.  He burst into the room just as Nathan was spitting out Daffy Duck's "Thuffering Thucatash!"  After a big hug, Dr. Detroit did his own impersonations of Hanna-Barbera characters.   He did everyone from Fred Flinstone to Huckleberry Hound to Yogi Bear.  After he uttered Snagglepuss's famous "Exit, Stage Left", Nathan took the cue and the two of them stepped out into the street where Nathan told him about Miss Adalaide and the sneezing problem.  The doctor thought he might be able to help, but before they would see Miss Adelaide, he suggested that they cover their faces with masks to avoid catching germs from all those sneezes.  They were both masked when they knocked on her dressing room door.  When she answered and saw the two of them, she cried out "...

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AH WILDERNESS

 

"...That's where I would rather be, than face-to-face with a couple of masked beings at my very gates," and before either one could answer, she let go a powerful sneeze that would have certainly sent legions of microbes through to their very entrails were it not for their magnificent vizards. After the usual amenities and after dubiously convincing herself that s he was indeed in the presence of friends, she---between sneezes of course---brought them up to date on late developments of her miserable---achoo!---life, for instance, the situation with a certain Abbe Fawia (aka Faria) who seems to get around a lot, and his secret regarding ...

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  • 1 month later...
Paradise Lost

 

No one person could have achieved this much in so short a span of time - except Bob.

 

It was a quiet, sunshiney day when Bob moved into Paradise. Lots of neighborly housewives in cookie-cutter houses fell all over themselves in an attempt to welcome him into the fold. Not long after he set up shop, an unscheduled excursion into his back yard revealed..

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A WICKED WOMAN

 

Bob said, "Huh!." A wicked woman in Paradise? Does that mean that his is Paridise Gained or Paradise Lost? Or Paradise regained? Bob was quite confused. Cautiously he approached this creature and saw that she was unconscionably beautiful (that means beautiful as all get out) and somewhat timidly asked her name. Well, what a surprise to learn that...

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Comrade X

 

had infiltrated our little bedroom community. Comrade X.. wow! Once I recovered from her striking beauty, I noticed she was talking.. to my tomatoes! "Hey! You stop that!", I yelled. She then gently plucked one of the ripe ones and slowly began..

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BREAKING AWAY

 

...from my line of sight, mighty suspicious behaviour coming from someone who appears mysteriously in Paradise, and being someone also who has a penchant for tomatoes when everyone knows that Smores taste better...but wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt and to show her kindness, I thought ...

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  • 8 months later...
Dinner at Eight

 

... is what I should offer her instead of overreacting about one measly tomato. Even if she is crazy enough to talk to that tomato in her hands. Because with looks like hers, I would want to be that tomato in her hands! Although that would make me a tomato named Bob. Which would require my best friend to be a cucumber named Larry. And would put me at risk of copyright infringement! On second thought, maybe it would be better to not be that tomato. So I shook my head to clear it of that imagery and ...

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