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cruise into terror (1978)


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produced by aaron spelling and douglas cramer around the time of that antichrist hs in the movies like damien omen ll. I am going through my disc collection and decided to watch it. last time I watched it remembered it being pretty bad but it seemed even worse watching it last nite. it starts off with marshall thompson pressuring captain hugh o'brian to take this gulf of mexico cruise even though his yacht needs repairs. so after captain hugh agrees some crates fall on daktari to silence him forever. this stupidity is lifed directly from damien omen ll and what a pathetic end to a great career. first he appears in this and then directs kristy macnichol in white dog. it is sad to watch marshall thompson reduced to appearing in this crud since his glory days as colonel edward carruthers who takes on a killer martian.

the story concerns professor barcone or bacone played by ray milland who for 30 years has chased his dream of an egyptian tomb in cozamel. on board is this annoying group of pleasure cruisers including john forsythe as a recovering alcoholic clergyman turned antichrist chaser dragging along his sullen but gorgeous wife lee meriwether. frank converse is on hand as a celestial mathamatician who tells professor milland that celestial positions were different 2000 years ago and his tomb is actually under the gulf of mexico waters and o'brian's yacht just has to break down just at the right spot. also on board is christopher george and wife lynda day and this lousy tv-movie was something they could do together. 

george is this lousy rotten greedy profiteer kinda guy who's world lights up when they find the star of the film, a solid gold multi-colored baby egyptian sarcophagus that pulsates with respiratory action. meanwhile fanatic clergyman forsythe tries to warn the others that this is the egyptian antichrist born 2000 years ago and threatens the world with evil. he also reveals that one of the passengers is the baby sarcophagi's protector and has no soul. is it converse? forsythe's sullen beautiful wife lee meriwether? oh, also on board are these two babes who travel together. one is the pretty one while the other is a scared insecure klutz. the movie just gets more and more convoluted and ambiguous. professor milland who decides that he must rid the world of the baby sarcophagus goes to the room where it lays with an axe but wouldn't you know it the ship makes an unexpected roll and the sarcophagus whacks ray milland but good....just as the klutzy babe walks in to see the baby egyptian sarcophagi pulsating and breathing and screams!...but then afterwards she tells no one that she saw baby sarcophagi breathing which would have been confirmation to all that the supernatural is afloat.

from there just more lame convolutions. forsythe believes that frank converse is the thing's soulless protector and has beguiled his sullen beautiful wife into spouting an ancient tongue. by this time greedster sgt. troy as combined with converse to move baby to another cabin. the great climax. raving forsythe confronts converse, a fire starts engulfing the sarcophagus and scratch off forsythe and beautiful lee meriwether. the others abandon ship and the yacht blows up. the end favors us with this silly gobbledygoo about the devil getting in or getting out which wasn't worth further consideration.
what a lousy stinker! charlie's angels meets damien woulda been far more imaginative. I felt like chucking the disc into the trash but I figure it's a curio of a bad TV production.

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