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It is way more fun to watch a movie about stalkers, than to have one personally, trust me. I do have some experience with male stalkers both offline and lately more online, and have ascertained that they all seem to have one indelible trait in common...they are absolutely devoid of any sense of humor. Think Travis Bickle on steroids...get the picture?

I think the derivation of the word to mean "a person who harasses or pursues someone with unwanted and obsessive attention" probably was somewhat provoked by the first movie I ever saw about this theme, which was "The Fan" from 1981, starring Lauren Bacall. Up till then, the term had a bit different terminology.

Obviously both men and women have the capacity to be stalkers, but I've only had experience with the former. Now there was the Tarkovsky movie from the 1970's called "Stalker" but it is not really about the kind of demented pursuer I am researching on film.

The classic male stalker is one who if a female rebuffs them, they become angry and bitter and are out to make the female's life miserable, since the stalker believes no woman has the right to reject them. Being that I don't live in Iran though, this belief is anathema since I believe all women have the right to pick men they want to associate with, and not be picked.

Name a movie that accurately depicts the psychotically narcissistic behaviour of a stalker of male or female type.
 

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5 hours ago, CaveGirl said:

 Now there was the Tarkovsky movie from the 1970's called "Stalker" but it is not really about the kind of demented pursuer I am researching on film.

I love that one. It is really more about the Freudian unconscious than anything else. When you enter the room, whatever you want will come to you regardless if you are even conscious of it or not. The Stalker recounts how the man wanted his family member back but was instead rewarded with money that he wasn't even aware he wanted. The Room is a Zone in which your true desires are realized on the condition that you are able to formulate them.

Easily one of my favorite films of all time. Very poetic and beautiful. 

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6 hours ago, CaveGirl said:

The classic male stalker is one who if a female rebuffs them, they become angry and bitter and are out to make the female's life miserable, since the stalker believes no woman has the right to reject them.

Name a movie that accurately depicts the psychotically narcissistic behaviour of a stalker of male or female type.
 

The Black Swan

An American in Paris

The Graduate*

And a whole plethora of other golden age Hollywood classics.  I love these films as much as anyone, but it's quite startling just how many of these movies depicted "wooing" a woman as simply wearing her down until she's either too tired or frustrated to say no (after doing so repeatedly already).

*The Graduate is an equal-opportunity offender in that it features Mrs. Robinson stalking Benjamin who in turn stalks Elaine.

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3 hours ago, Feego said:

An American in Paris

The Graduate

Bus Stop (Marilyn stalked by Jethro!)

Don't Bother to Knock (Richard Widmark stalked by Marilyn!)

The World of Henry Orient (Peter Sellers, just...stalked.)

And, of course, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) - I have no idea why people say it's "too long" or "slow", unless they were expecting the wrong Western.

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Although the easy aside to insert here is the reminder that for most of world history women frequently were denied the right to choose their mates what many don't acknowledge is that this is not the fault of male psychology but of capitalism. Many 'primitive' pre-capitalistic societies were agricultural matriarchies. These were much more balanced, much more fair communities where sexuality was handled in a sensible, refreshingly egalitarian manner. Furthermore, the social structure never caused any insecurity or threat (imaginary or actual) to male ego or male pride. Everyone got their jollies out of the arrangement and the result was very stable living conditions largely free from war, romantic violence, or crime. Only when men gained the idea of 'privately owning' women--as goods and merchandise--did obsession emerge. It emerged from bourgeois economics! Modern-day women are not without complicity in this either, unfortunately. The 'right to choose' is not a matter of their heart but of financial self-interest. Every woman today wants to choose the best economic candidate for their companionship. Whereas, in early cultures, women enjoyed rotating companions as much as males do; without tears, tragedies, or hysterics.

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23 hours ago, Sgt_Markoff said:

Although the easy aside to insert here is the reminder that for most of world history women frequently were denied the right to choose their mates what many don't acknowledge is that this is not the fault of male psychology but of capitalism. Many 'primitive' pre-capitalistic societies were agricultural matriarchies. These were much more balanced, much more fair communities where sexuality was handled in a sensible, refreshingly egalitarian manner. Furthermore, the social structure never caused any insecurity or threat (imaginary or actual) to male ego or male pride. Everyone got their jollies out of the arrangement and the result was very stable living conditions largely free from war, romantic violence, or crime. Only when men gained the idea of 'privately owning' women--as goods and merchandise--did obsession emerge. It emerged from bourgeois economics! Modern-day women are not without complicity in this either, unfortunately. The 'right to choose' is not a matter of their heart but of financial self-interest. Every woman today wants to choose the best economic candidate for their companionship. Whereas, in early cultures, women enjoyed rotating companions as much as males do; without tears, tragedies, or hysterics.

Basically, Markoff I agree with your sentiments.

But I can tell you for sure, no amount of largesse would make me even date some of the men one sees around with good looking women as mates. Larry King, for example, I would not even accept a freebie coffee drink from and I also wouldn't even want to be in nearby breathing space of certain men who have achieved high political offices, nor do I find them attractive due to their fame, if attractive only means in their wallet.

There will always be those females, who can be had for the price of an emerald ring, but some would prefer to buy their own rings and be with an appealing male, even if he is living like Thoreau.

Of course, it helps if he is amusing and has a good personality and brain also.

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Aye. Thanks. Well to clarify, naturally I'm not eliminating the factor of unattractiveness. Or 'disaffection'. Sexuality, animalism, etc. But from among a field of uniformly attractive men who usually court an eligible female, this principle I'm asserting (economics governing long-term unions) seems supportable. Goes all the way back to Jane Austen, and that era when mothers began instructing their daughters that they 'may just as well fall in love with a rich man as a poor one'. That was just after the commercial change that came over Europe and just prior to the Industrial Revolution. Whereas in pre-modern Europe, peasant marriages were likely practical and pragmatic--anything but romantic.

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8 minutes ago, Michael Rennie said:

I think Dargo is already spoken for.🤣

Yes, we all know he has a most lovely wife.

 But even if Dargo were single I know he would never be interested in me, being that I look a lot like Una O'Connor and am not really that appealing to the male gender

Thanks though, Michael for warning me just in case.

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"I Can Make You Love Me" (aka. "Stalking Laura") is 1993 made-for-TV movie based on a real-life 1990 case that led to the passing of the first anti-stalking law in the US.  It stars Brooke Shields and Richard Thomas.  The movie shows a man who becomes infatuated with his co-worker, stalks her, invades her privacy, and ends up opening fire on her at her workplace.  She survives, but several people in her workplace die.  It is not a very cinematic viewing experience since it was made for TV, but if you want some basis of reality, then this will do.

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On 3/11/2019 at 8:35 PM, Sgt_Markoff said:

Something like that happened a few blocks away from my residence once. Not a pleasant memory.

 

Tell me about it, Sarge.

There will always be men who think that they can force a woman to like them and won't accept no for an answer.

I think it goes back to some maternal issue, where they either got too much or no attention from that female, so all later women they meet have to give them unending approval and agreement on all things, and are not allowed to ignore or reject them. Such a man will torture or kill his intended paramour, if she refuses to give it to him. I know these signs and always try to stay away from such stalker types. I once had a co-worker who kept asking me out and sending flowers, and when I finally said I really thought we had nothing in common, he stated quite firmly "Well I will continue sending you flowers if I want and I have the right to continue to keep asking you out also as long as I want." He would leave creepy cards on my desk and on my car windshield and it only stopped after he lost his job due to a layofff."

Some men believe they have the right to pick a woman and she has no right to refuse to accommodate their lustmord tendencies. Such unwanted attention is never fun to get, believe me.

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On 3/11/2019 at 1:36 PM, CaveGirl said:

Yes, we all know he has a most lovely wife.

 But even if Dargo were single I know he would never be interested in me, being that I look a lot like Una O'Connor and am not really that appealing to the male gender

Thanks though, Michael for warning me just in case.

Sorry CaveGirl. I just couldn't resist. Don't believe Una O'Conner was unattractive. I know of two versions of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers." I won't go there. There is the obvious one with Barbra and Neil and a Country version.

If you want a fun laugh, look for this title on YouTube: The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain: You Don't Bring Me Flowers

Not wanting to be a Matchmaker, I could say, you would not have to ask LawrenceA twice to watch a movie. Am I right? He seems a very genuine sort of chap.

I must ask just one thing. Movies about those who Stalk. Would you consider a film with Britney "Spears?"

You originally said: "Of course, it helps if he is amusing and has a good personality and brain also."

Would you settle for 2 out of 3?

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6 hours ago, Michael Rennie said:

...Don't believe Una O'Conner was unattractive.

And evidently, Herbert Mundin in this one notable Errol Flynn flick here didn't believe so either, Mr. Rennie...

prod-db-warner-bros-dr-les-aventures-de-

;)

(...always thought they made a very cute couple...don't you agree?)

 

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A good source of info are the testimonials of stalking victims posted on social media, such as the one from this journalist, to name just one.  A total stranger who saw you online could do things that make you fear for your life.  Many of these accounts are from well-known and/or attractive and/or young people, but in fact ANYONE is susceptible to this kind of thing if you make yourself vulnerable to it.

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