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LornaHansonForbes

Dayum, CRITICS are SPITTING FIRE over CATS: THE MOVIE

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1 hour ago, Roy Cronin said:

I have a feeling that this could turn into one of those high camp movies to be seen with a group.  Like happened to Mommie Dearest after it opened.

Someone arrange a bus trip!

LOL! Where would we meet?

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57 minutes ago, speedracer5 said:

I'll bring snacks!

I'm a vegetarian, but I do eat FISH!

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Just now, Hibi said:

What is THE LAUNDROMAT? A new movie coming out? Doesn't sound promising from the title!

It was a dark comedy/crime film done by Steven Soderbergh for Netflix about the giant Panama banking scandal of a few years ago. Streep played the whistle-blower. Gary oldman and Antonio Bandares were the corrupt bankers. Co-starring were Matthias Schoenaerts, Jeffrey Wright, Rosalind Chao, David Schwimmer, Will Forte, James Cromwell, and Sharon Stone.

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30 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

Let's face it though, this is the Batman and Robin of its generation. One might say Ishtar (which I liked) or Heaven's Gate, but those films have gone up in reputation over the years. Not sure this will happen here. This is a film where cats, mice, and even cockroaches have human faces, a film which, just like the Broadway show has no discernible story. It's Razzie bait. And, unless there are a lot of people who are morbidly curious, it will go down as one of the biggest loss makers in Universal's history. At one point, they were going to release the musical Wicked as a film this Christmas. If they had remained on that path, i assume things would be much easier for them at the moment.

Who is in the WIcked movie?

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Just now, Hibi said:

Who is in the WIcked movie?

They ended up pushing it to the back burner before casting it so they could fast-track Cats. Big mistake. Wicked would have been a hit. Stephen Daltry of Billy Elliot, The Reader, and The Hours fame was to have directed it.

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Two more notes:

Tom Hooper began the decade winning Best Director and Best Picture at the Oscars. He looks to be closing it by getting the two "top' awards at the Razzies.

Somebody wants to take me to go see this. 🤢 Please, take me to Little Women instead!

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3 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

It was a dark comedy/crime film done by Steven Soderbergh for Netflix about the giant Panama banking scandal of a few years ago. Streep played the whistle-blower. Gary oldman and Antonio Bandares were the corrupt bankers. Co-starring were Matthias Schoenaerts, Jeffrey Wright, Rosalind Chao, David Schwimmer, Will Forte, James Cromwell, and Sharon Stone.

When did this come out? I don't think it even played here.

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2 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

They ended up pushing it to the back burner before casting it so they could fast-track Cats. Big mistake. Wicked would have been a hit. Stephen Daltry of Billy Elliot, The Reader, and The Hours fame was to have directed it.

I see.

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1 minute ago, Hibi said:

When did this come out? I don't think it even played here.

It came out only in a few big cities in September, before it moved two weeks later to the Netflix streaming service, where it can still be seen.

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14 minutes ago, Hibi said:

What is THE LAUNDROMAT? A new movie coming out? Doesn't sound promising from the title!

Because you know, the laundromat is where all the fun happens.

I would however, be interested in The Automat

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14 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

 

Somebody wants to take me to go see this. 🤢 Please, take me to Little Women instead!

Do it.

Some day you may need an alibi or a kidney or help burying a body and you can pull out “hey, remember how you made me go see CATS: THE MOVIE with you...? Well, YOU OWE ME FOR THAT.”

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9 minutes ago, speedracer5 said:

This quote was my favorite.  It isn't often you see the word "piffle" used.

Full Review from The guardian, complete with piffle line....

Quote

 

The filming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games,
Each actor involved here looks mad as a hatter,
When the trailer came out, we were CALLING THEM NAMES.
It began with Cat poems from old TS Eliot,
In the 80s, Lloyd Webber just put them on stage
That was frankly a bit of a gamble for Andrew, but
Coach-loads of punters made Cats all the rage.

Now Cats is on film, with many a lonely puss
Played by performers of A-lister class.
But the number of  m*a*m*m*a*r*i*e*s looks frankly erroneous
And tails that appear to emerge from each arse.
There are lots of big names here, names we see daily,
Names that supposedly give us a lift.
Nothing like Jonathan Pie or Bill Bailey,
But names like James Corden, and – yes – Taylor Swift.
The setting is London, it does look post-nuclear
There aren’t any people, so maybe there were
Bomb blasts – or maybe a bio disaster
Causing cat-human mutants with digital fur.
The twitching of ears on their heads is distracting

As they gaze at the greenscreen and sashay and crawl,
It’s weird to behold them all gurning and acting,
And why do so many resemble Darth Maul?
Did director Tom Hooper intend this appearance?
Did it make him feel happy – or cause him some stress?
We have to assume that he gave it his clearance
But THE MAN HIMSELF KNOWS and will never confess.
These are the Jellicle felines of legend,
All elbows and shoulders and undulant arms.
Each male in the cast looks a bit of a bellend,
And those bizarre whiskers don’t add to their charms.
The Jellicles welcome Victoria: a new cat,
Francesca Hayward’s the thesp with this role,
She’s sleek, unlike Corden – well known for TV chat
But it’s his size that reveals that he’s meant to be droll.
And then Idris Elba comes on as McCavity,
(A boomy-voiced villain in anyone’s book)
There’s a prominent gap in his p*e*n*i*s locality.
I honestly didn’t … well … know where to look.
As Grizabella, Jennifer Hudson will sniffle
Singing Memory, this movie’s moment of truth.

But it’s warbling warbling warbling piffle
From a bag lady drama-queen obsessed with lost youth.
The Jellicles’ leader is Old Deuteronomy
Judi Dench has this part, looking very bemused.
What’s with that extra big fur coat? You’ve got me.
She looks bewildered and (like us) confused.
Obviously, Ian McKellen is in it,
And he’s got a tatty old topcoat as well.
The other cats’ nude state is clearly permitted.
But why? That is something that no cat will tell.
There’s another cat in it, by name Mungojerrie,
Not the 70s pop group who once raised a cheer,
With their Summertime chart hit that really was very
Much better, more catchy, than anything here.

Ray Winstone’s the creepiest cat in this feature
His Growltiger sends a sharp chill down your spine
With his hissing he looks like he’s having a seizure,
It’s scary – like adverts for betting online.
When you notice these cats in profound meditation
With a digitally created frown on their brow
Their minds are engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of what on earth to do now.
“Pretend to be cats!” says a director. They reply …
“Me? How?”

 

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Just now, CinemaInternational said:

i saw a tweet comparing this to Xadadu. I know Xanadu, and Xanadu just got wronged, honey.

Xanadu is an amazing film! Unlike Cats, it does not feature characters that are one Animorphs transformation shy of a real cat.

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Just now, speedracer5 said:

Xanadu is an amazing film! Unlike Cats, it does not feature characters that are one Animorphs transformation shy of a real cat.

Exactly. Plus it has a killer soundtrack, a lovely Olivia Newton-John, and Gene Kelly's last great dance number. Plus, its really charming.

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51 minutes ago, speedracer5 said:

This quote was my favorite.  It isn't often you see the word "piffle" used.

"Piffle!....It is full of piff!"  - Benny Hill

(Who was not above a "Me?  'Ow?" joke himself.)

31 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

i saw a tweet comparing this to Xanadu. I know Xanadu, and Xanadu just got wronged, honey.

I've seen Xanadu.  I own Xanadu on Blu-ray.  I can recite whole dialogue passages from Xanadu.

Senator Hooper...you're no Xanadu.

27 minutes ago, speedracer5 said:

Xanadu is an amazing film! Unlike Cats, it does not feature characters that are one Animorphs transformation shy of a real cat.

Some bird and fish transformations, maybe, but those traditionally animated.

1 hour ago, CinemaInternational said:

 At one point, they were going to release the musical Wicked as a film this Christmas. If they had remained on that path, i assume things would be much easier for them at the moment.

Promises, promises.  (Ever wonder WHY we got a flood of Oz-revisionist movies, like "Oz the Great & Powerful", from other studios in the early 10's after the book officially went public-domain?)

But musical-movies are too locked by stage unions and can't be made until the producers decide the show's days are numbered, and the fangrrls  aren't going to let that happen in a hurry.

42 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

Full Review from The guardian, complete with piffle line....

Thank you--I was but a few scant moments away from Googling it up myself.  😊

(Or at least saved me from posting the Logan's Run clip again.)

Quote

He looks to be closing it by getting the two "top' awards at the Razzies.

Let's just wrap up the flood of "Razzie" jokes by saying there are a LOT of reasons why they'll likely make this the sweep-contender.

Most, but not all, related to the movie itself.  🙄   (The majority of reasons can be summed up by Lorna's first posts in the thread.)

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34 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

A CAT Scan might be more entertaining in the long run.

GROAN.Enough with the bad cat jokes!

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51 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

It came out only in a few big cities in September, before it moved two weeks later to the Netflix streaming service, where it can still be seen.

No wonder I've never heard of it!

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23 minutes ago, CinemaInternational said:

i saw a tweet comparing this to Xadadu. I know Xanadu, and Xanadu just got wronged, honey.

I thought Xanadu was AWFUL, so this is encouraging. STILL I'm not paying to see it!

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