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skimpole

Great Movies! Deceptively Boring Summaries!

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There's a new twitter meme going around: describe your favorite movie as boringly as possible. I'll start

(1)A man finds he hasn't advanced as far at work as his best friend.  Also, booking repairmen can be  a real hassle.
(2) A war hero's labor and taxation policies disappoint his admirers
(3) A man decides to talk less, and does so while a bell is being built
(4) People talk for more than nine hours about decades old Polish train schedules
(5) A businessman successfully rebukes everybody responsible for a disappointing Cuban meeting

(6) Complex modernist music plays while bureaucrats squabble over who should be cced
(7) Richard Widmark finds he is not popular in the former Yugoslavia
(8) A bureaucrat faces a hiccup in his social mobility
(9) Religious and scientific figures dispute in a movie dedicated to the inventor of the sewing machine.
(10) Four people you've never heard of take a sea voyage.

(11) an unhappy marriage takes places in long tracking shots at a hotel

(12) another unhappy marriage takes place in long tracking shots at a hotel, only now it's the off-season.

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These are probably all really famous movies, but you have successfully described them so boringly, I can't identify any of them! Well, the one about the train schedules must be one of those Holocaust docs like Shoah, maybe.

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Richard Widmark finds he is not popular in the former Yugoslavia

I think this is "The Long Ships" (1964) except that I do find the actual film rather boring and just not up my alley. 

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Brown-noser learns lesson

(...this one's probably pretty easy to figure out, I'd say)

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Bored kids with nothing better to do just drive around all night listening to music.

Whitefang

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5 minutes ago, Sepiatone said:

Bored kids with nothing better to do just drive around all night listening to music.

Hey now Sepia!

If you've ever been to Modesto California, then you'd understand why those kids were so damn bored, dude!  

;)

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Richard Widmark isn't popular (he is the murder victim) in Murder on the Orient Express.

I just Googled one of the answers - Beatles movie Help was dedicated to Mr. Howe (it is cute and the Beatles' movie saves it).

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8 hours ago, sewhite2000 said:

These are probably all really famous movies, but you have successfully described them so boringly, I can't identify any of them! Well, the one about the train schedules must be one of those Holocaust docs like Shoah, maybe.

I've edited the first one.  2 is a documentary, 5, 6 and 12 are very famous American movies.

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A handsome young man rides camels amidst extremely long shots of blazing sun, desert rock and sand.  A man serving as his guide, gets shot and killed while standing in the burning sun near the handsome young man while both are looking into a mirage-like camel-riding person  emerging from the waves of heat and sand.  They all ride camels.  They cross lunar-like rock and the hottest desert known as the sun's anvil.  There is very little water and it is always hot.  Then, entr'acte. We come back to people shooting at each other through sandy wind storms, deaths and accidents, and the handsome young man mistreated in disguise which hurts his heart.  His one-time nemesis turned friend gets the handsome young man to eat.  He gives up, gives in, re-bleeds, and goes to the desert where there is no water and sand, rocky, and the handsome young man wants to kill people because he is angry.  He saves the land from the enemy and goes home. 

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Quote

---Religious and scientific figures dispute in a movie dedicated to the inventor of the sewing machine.

It is not what it seems.

eleanor-bron.jpg

TCM's own schedules have also since fixed (and fired, no doubt) the hipster intern wag who wrote:

Quote

The Wizard of Oz (1939) - Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.

🙄👏

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2 hours ago, Allhallowsday said:

Did I mention the beginning is the end?

No, and you also didn't mention the Brough Superior which the handsome young man rides to his death, either.

(...but then again, I wouldn't have expected you to, and unless you might also be into old classic motorcycles like I am)  ;)

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14 minutes ago, Dargo said:

(...but then again, I wouldn't have expected you to, and unless you might also be into old classic motorcycles like I am) 

Did I mention the post-foreshadow at the end...? 

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41 minutes ago, Allhallowsday said:

Did I mention the post-foreshadow at the end...? 

You mean when Lawrence is a passenger in the car and the guy on the motorcycle (which I think is an old Norton, but I'm not sure) passes him?

 

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4 minutes ago, Dargo said:

You mean when Lawrence is a passenger in the car and the guy on the motorcycle (which I think is an old Norton, but I'm not sure) passes him?

 

Of course.  TCM shows it frequently.  I very often watch.  Endlessly watchable, like a desert in a storybook. 

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15 minutes ago, Allhallowsday said:

Of course.  TCM shows it frequently.  I very often watch.  Endlessly watchable, like a desert in a storybook. 

Yep, I also think the film is a perfect blend of story, great acting , a memorable score and magnificent camerawork, but it seems there are some who think it overrated somehow.

Btw, and speaking of T.E. and his love for motorcycling, you might find the following link a bit interesting. It's a little story with pictures about a day he took delivery of one of his Brough (pronounced "Bruff") motorcycles:

https://stevemckelvie.wordpress.com/2015/12/18/some-photos-of-lawrence-of-arabia-getting-his-new-motorcycle/

lawrence-arabia-gets-new-brough-bike-1.j

 

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55 minutes ago, Dargo said:

Yep, I also think the film is a perfect blend of story, great acting , a memorable score and magnificent camerawork, but it seems there are some who think it overrated somehow.

Definitely ranks very high on any number of lists. 

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16 hours ago, skimpole said:

another unhappy marriage takes place in long tracking shots at a hotel, only now it's the off-season.

The Shining I think.

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A prostitute sits around her house for hours and hours before killing a client.

Oh, wait, that's all that Jeanne Dielman is and there's way to make the summary less boring.

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So how about...

Pix about hicks who nix staying in the sticks and move west

(...or, wherever there's a pun to attempt, I'll be there Ma) 

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48 minutes ago, Dargo said:

So how about...

Pix about hicks who nix staying in the sticks and move west

(...or, wherever there's a pun to attempt, I'll be there Ma) 

It wouldn't be a little picture called THE GRAPES OF WRATH, now would it Dargo?;)

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2 minutes ago, Bethluvsfilms said:

It wouldn't be a little picture called THE GRAPES OF WRATH, would it Dargo?;)

Wherever there's a proper guess to be made, Beth will be there, Ma.  ;)

(...btw, you should hear my impression of Henry Fonda saying this...you'd be impressed) 

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2 hours ago, Arsan404 said:

The Shining I think.

Oh whew--I was going to say Last Year at Marienbad, but that WOULD be an accurate description.

Now I'm going back to watch the movie about the frustrated artist who develops a hobby with 30's art-deco, and teams up with an aging contractor to real-estate-flip a condemned Los Angeles arena.

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