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5 hours ago, Mr. Gorman said:

Stick with THE DEADLY BEES (1967-UK), Citizen Ed.  It may be cheesy, but it's a lot more fun than the awful-ness that is "The Swarm".  Did you know there is a 156-minute version of "The Swarm" that fleshes out various plot points that -- sometimes obviously -- were chop/ped from the 116-minute theatrical print?  I don't know if TCM has ever shown the 156-minute version.  (I don't think they have).  

I also believe the badness that is "The Swarm" and "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" is the reason James Goldstone directed "When Time Ran Out . . . " instead of Irwin Allen.  I don't think Warner would have OK'ed "WHEN TIME RAN OUT . . . " with Allen as director.  

PIRANHA is fun even if "The Swarm" isn't.   

An extra 40 minutes?! 40?!? Of the Swarm!?!

...I couldn't get drunk enough.

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22 minutes ago, Citizen Ed said:

An extra 40 minutes?! 40?!? Of the Swarm!?!

...I couldn't get drunk enough.

Sure ya could. I have faith in you!

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9 hours ago, Mr. Gorman said:

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST with -or- without the 'turtle-killing' scene?   (P.S.  I've seen "Cannibal Holocaust" with the turtle-killing scene.  The poor turtle).   

The poor turtle, indeed.

I don't think I've ever seen The Swarm...and don't think I'll be staying up until four to watch it after everyone's comments. If it goes on demand, maybe some time next week. 

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The main problem with "The Swarm" from my observation is that the big name cast is directed to be as wooden as possible and show as little emotion as they can.  

→ The 156-minute version of THE SWARM was made available on LaserDisc, DVD and Blu-Ray for your viewing dis-pleasure.  😜  I believe the 156-minute version was the version Irwin Allen intended to release before Warner Bros. cut it down by 40 minutes.

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3 hours ago, Mr. Gorman said:

The main problem with "The Swarm" from my observation is that the big name cast is directed to be as wooden as possible and show as little emotion as they can.  

→ The 156-minute version of THE SWARM was made available on LaserDisc, DVD and Blu-Ray for your viewing dis-pleasure.  😜  I believe the 156-minute version was the version Irwin Allen intended to release before Warner Bros. cut it down by 40 minutes.

I purchased that version on DVD about a year ago. I was a fan of the novel by Arthur Herzog and wanted to see if it was a better movie uncut.

But, you know, I still haven't gotten around to watching it yet.

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4 hours ago, Mr. Gorman said:

The main problem with "The Swarm" from my observation is that the big name cast is directed to be as wooden as possible and show as little emotion as they can.  

→ The 156-minute version of THE SWARM was made available on LaserDisc, DVD and Blu-Ray for your viewing dis-pleasure.  😜  I believe the 156-minute version was the version Irwin Allen intended to release before Warner Bros. cut it down by 40 minutes.

Honest to God, the only difference between IRWIN ALLEN and BERT I. GORDON was a BIGGER BUDGET.

That's IT.

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The best thing about THE SWARM has been THE RUNNING COMMENTARY on THE BEST COSTUME DESIGN OSCAR NOMINATION IT RECEIVED FOR PAUL ZASTUPNOVICH in 1978, which was not even a bad or weak year for costume design.

As such, I am pretty sure of my recollection that TCM has had the UNMITIGATED GALL to trot it, along with ICE STATION ZEBRA out, EVERY **** YEAR FOR 31(000) DAYS OF OSCAR as an extra INSULT to our INJURY.

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See the source image

AND IF IN FACT "THE SWARM" had (through some UTTER FLUKE) WON the 1978 OSCAR FOR BEST COSTUME DESIGN,. it would be A VERY RARE INSTANCE where a KANYE "YO, Imma let you finish, PAUL ZASTUPNEVICH, but DEATH ON THE NILE had THE BEST COSTUMES OF THE YEAR..." Awards Show moment to be led by someone (preferably EDITH HEAD) charging the stage and snatching the mic WOULD be 100% CALLED FOR. 

Thank GOD cocaine had not COMPLETELY RAVAGED the minds of all the voters even at that late date in the 1970s.

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38 minutes ago, LornaHansonForbes said:

The best thing about THE SWARM has been THE RUNNING COMMENTARY on THE BEST COSTUME DESIGN OSCAR NOMINATION IT RECEIVED FOR PAUL ZASTUPNOVICH in 1978, which was not even a bad or weak year for costume design.

As such, I am pretty sure of my recollection that TCM has had the UNMITIGATED GALL to trot it, along with ICE STATION ZEBRA out, EVERY **** YEAR FOR 31(000) DAYS OF OSCAR as an extra INSULT to our INJURY.

Y'know, I think you're right. I believe 31 Days is where I saw this steaming pile. I'd wanted to see this ever since it was first released but my old man was having none of that ("killer ******* bees??? How is that supposed to be a movie???  **** no I'm not taking you to a **** movie about killer ******* bees! Go wax the Ford!") So while my buddies were discussing how BA awesome it was during lunch ("They had the death tolls running across the bottom of the screen! It's sooooo BA awesome!") all I could do was sit and fume at pops, vowing as I sucked the Cheeto dust from my fingers that as God was my witness I would see that damn movie someday and I too would wallow in its BA awesome glory!

Thanks to TCM and 31 Days of Oscar I made good on that solemn vow. Now, as I sit fuming at the kid who gathers my grocery order, sucking Doritos dust from my fingers I vow that as God is my witness I'm going to find those "buddies" someday and give them the worst wet Willie's imaginable. And when I'm done I'm going to hiss, "Swarm" and walk away.

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Speaking of writer/director BERT I. GORDON . . .

Bert's 1990 movie SATAN'S PRINCESS was kinda fun.  🙂  I believe it was one of those 'direct-to-video' movies; released on VHS by Paramount.  I bought a copy many moons ago.  Robert Forster stars with Lydie Denier and Caren Kaye.  Lydie's lovely face graces the front of the Paramount video box, I might add. 

Seems that Bert is still alive at age 98.  Bless him.  Hope he makes it to at least 100. 

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1 hour ago, LornaHansonForbes said:

See the source image

AND IF IN FACT "THE SWARM" had (through some UTTER FLUKE) WON the 1978 OSCAR FOR BEST COSTUME DESIGN,. it would be A VERY RARE INSTANCE where a KANYE "YO, Imma let you finish, PAUL ZASTUPNEVICH, but DEATH ON THE NILE had THE BEST COSTUMES OF THE YEAR..." Awards Show moment to be led by someone (preferably EDITH HEAD) charging the stage and snatching the mic WOULD be 100% CALLED FOR. 

Thank GOD cocaine had not COMPLETELY RAVAGED the minds of all the voters even at that late date in the 1970s.

I'm pretty sure it's because every smidge of powder in the western hemisphere was on the set here.  I mean just look at the kid's fever dream about the giant bees. No seriously, look at it...LOOK AT IT DAMNIT I DID AND I'LL NEVER UNSEE IT! Tell me these people weren't geezed up like Keith Richards at a Pfizer convention.

This movie was ten times more effective than "Just say no".

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I reckon ROBERT FORSTER's career had come to the point by the late '80s any acting offer was welcome.  Besides, SATAN'S PRINCESS wasn't so bad.  One could do far worse on the entertainment front that stuffing SATAN'S PRINCESS into your VCR.  (The DVD-R's of "Satan's Princess" for sale look to simply be copies of the Paramount tape, btw).   

I thought Forster said that, at the time of being cast in "Jackie Brown", he didn't have an agent anymore as the acting offers were so sparse.  

Maybe it's time for a . . . FORSTER FEST!  Must have ALLIGATOR (1980) in the 'Forster Fest'.  

 

 

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1 hour ago, Mr. Gorman said:

🙂

Seems that Bert is still alive at age 98.  Bless him.  Hope he makes it to at least 100. 

Although if he were to be killed by a 50 foot woman, something tells me he’d probably be all right with it.

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1 hour ago, Mr. Gorman said:

ALLIGATOR do a (((monch)))!  😋

The part where he eats the little kid who jumps off the diving board is wild too. Or is that in ALLIGATOR II?

Forgive me for mixing the two up, they're both such distinct cinematic ventures.

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6 hours ago, LornaHansonForbes said:

Death on the Nile was the rightful winner. In my humble opinion, the other 4 should have been The Cheap Detective, Movie Movie, The Wiz, and Days of Heaven. So farewell to Caravans (unseen by me) and The Swarm.....

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ALLIGATOR II is fairly dreadful.  I never bought a copy of that. 

The first ALLIGATOR (1980) is indeed the one where the 'gator eats the young boy after his dopey, clueless friends push him off the diving board into the pool . . . where the 'gator is waiting!

However, this scene is not much to speak of on the TV print of "Alligator".  Shortened for those bits and bites of gory content!  I only mention the TV print of "Alligator" because it got released on video several years before the 'regular' theatrical version did. 

I bought both versions on tape when I found out the TV print had somehow been issued for homevideo audiences in 1983.  The box description even makes mention of a scene that's only in the Tv version of the movie.  Fun stuff.   

For anyone reading this who wishes to view the scenes added back in to the Tv version go YouTube and type this in the subject line:  

ALLIGATOR (1980) ~ Extra scenes from the Tv version  

(Those extra scenes are taken from the 1983 Catalina Home Video VHS release.  Personally, I like the extra footage).   

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