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> {quote:title=MissGoddess wrote:}{quote}

> >

> > Hey, Mrs. D! What a treat to see you around these (body) parts.

> > >


> Thank you! Now that I have The Vampire Bat in my "queue" I feel like one of the gang(rene)! :P




Sweet Herman is waiting for you:




(the worst horror ever, though, is Marsha Mason blubbering)


> > > And no, I can't picture you as a blonde but I can picture you as Serena. Groovy!

> >

> > Except I never felt comfortable in go-go boots, lol.

> > >


> I don't believe it!


> serena-toon.jpg





















Oh, how cute I looked!! I'd forgotten, it's been so long....Calling Dr. Bombay! Emergency, come right away! I need a Serena transplant!













































































> > I can't believe that my plumber is the closest I've ever come to royalty.

> >

> > Nah, he's taken. But....maybe he's got a single brother....


> Now you're thinking!


























I feel a clog coming on in my bathroom sink.

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> {quote:title=Ollie_T wrote:}{quote}

> Bronxie, once again, a great addition to another great thread. What a wonderful screen-cap. Perfect timing!


Everyone needs a little Dwight Frye, don't you think? (and where better than in Rich's thread!)

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The Atomic Brain (1964) aka Monstrosity
Directed by Joseph Mascelli


They don't come any crummier than this.

Marjorie Eaton plays an old crone who wants to have her brain transplanted into a younger woman. Eaton is ideally cast, since she is i) old, and ii) a crone. Frank Gerstle plays Dr. Frank, the surgeon who will perform the switcheroo. Dr. Frank's colleague, Dr. Furter, was unavailable, as his medical license was revoked. Rounding out the cast are Eaton's gigolo Victor (who looks almost as old as Eaton), a cat, a dead woman walking around in a nightgown, some animal-creature from one of Gerstle's loused-up experiments, and three babes who are candidates for Eaton's brain. One of the girls is Spanish and meek, another is Austrian and decent-looking, and the third is an English blonde with big breasts who claims to have "the same measurements as Marilyn Monroe." I can't imagine which one Eaton will choose.

Gerstle spends most of the film in a lab coat and/or radioactive suit, which is actually an improvement over what he usually wears. He transplants the cat's brain into the Spanish girl and she eats a mouse. Then this cat-senorita scratches out the eye of the blonde. Not to worry ... Gerstle keeps the eye handy, as he is always transplant-ready. That pretty much leaves the Austrian girl as the only candidate. Victor promises to help her, so you know he will soon exit, stage left.

Finally, it's time for the big operation, once Eaton's HMO has granted prior approval.

Bradford Dillman's narration provides about 75% of the sound, and 100% of the anesthesia.

"OK girls, now whoever is tallest and sticks out the most gets the job."


Miss Havisham gets stinko.


Gary Busey has a cameo.


"Look lady, I'm your gigolo, not the UPS guy."



Eaton is not quite sure what to do with her new monacle.



Sheena Easton is horrified to meet her new backup singers.


Didn't you always want to know whose hand that was?


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  • 3 weeks later...

We poke a little fun at these bad "B" horror movies we really do love. Here's a clip from YouTube, with some masterful editing of Classic horror films we love so much.



I especially like "THe Invisible Man" as he turns his head upwards towards the heavens, and the shots of "The Bride of Frankenstein" and how it goes with the music.


Please enjoy! It really was a job very well done.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Eegah (1962)

Directed and Produced by Nicholas Merriwether (Arch Hall, Sr.)
William Watters (Arch Hall, Sr.)
Arch Hall, Jr. (Arch Hall Sr.'s offspring)
Marilyn Manning (Arch Hall Sr.'s secretary)
And Richard Kiel, as the Beaver

I couldn't decide if this one belonged in the Horror or Sci-Fi category. In either case, it stinks on ice.

Marilyn Manning is driving along the highway when she encounters a giant caveman (guess who). Her boyfriend (Arch the younger) and her father (Arch the elder) are skeptical, until they manage to locate some giant footprints near the area. Of course, no one sees fit to notify the authorities, or else the movie would be done in about 15 minutes.

Old Arch dons his pith helmet and helicopters into the area, hoping to find Sir Cedric Hardwicke. Instead, he finds Kiel and tumbles to the ground ... an early instance of a fallen Arch on film. Meanwhile, when Manning and young Arch discover that Old Arch is overdue for his pickup, they dune-buggy into the desert in search of him. Note: again, no one contacts the authorities.

After a few hours in the desert (and a song by young Arch), Kiel kidnaps Manning while Archie boy (who is about as smart as Jughead) is wandering around aimlessly with a popgun. We are then treated to about 30 dull minutes of captivity, during which Kiel introduces Old Arch and Manning to his dead ancestors, shows off his wall paintings, gets a shave from Manning, and does the obligatory fondling of her. Eventually, young Arch stumbles across Kiel and gets his popgun broken in two. So young Arch tosses a rock at Kiel and knocks him out. Everyone escapes in the dune buggy, with Kiel wildly running after them and yelling "Eegah," which is either his name, or a caveman phrase for "I've soiled myself."

Undeterred, Kiel wanders into town and locates Manning at a pool party (while young Arch is warbling another tune). Martin Milner and Kent McCord finally arrive to quell the disturbance. Old Arch then quotes from the Bible.

If you've ever wanted to see Kiel in fur, this is the movie for you.

Future director Ray Steckler has a bit role and gets tossed into the pool. The opening theme took about five minutes to compose. The sound for most of the movie is out of sync.

Arch Hall Jr. impresses Marilyn Manning with his new Viagra hair tonic.

Drive a Prius ... so easy, a Caveman can do it.

How many fashion mistakes can you spot?

Walk softly and carry a big chick.

"Bless your beautiful hide ..."

Kiel and Manning audition for "Dancing with the Cro-Magnons."

Norma Desmond strikes again.

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> {quote:title=CineMaven wrote:}{quote}

> We poke a little fun at these bad "B" horror movies we really do love. Here's a clip from YouTube, with some masterful editing of Classic horror films we love so much.




> I especially like "THe Invisible Man" as he turns his head upwards towards the heavens, and the shots of "The Bride of Frankenstein" and how it goes with the music.


> Please enjoy! It really was a job very well done.
































































































































That was terrific, absolutely terrific. And scary! It's sometimes easy to think of those "cozy" old Univerals as not being really frightening, but that studio really did create an eerie supernatural world of its own with those now iconic characters.

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  • 2 months later...

The Flying Serpent (1946)
Directed by Sherman Scott (Sam Newfield)


Needless remake (ripoff) of the slightly better (but not much better) The Devil Bat.

George Zucco stars as an archaeologist who has discovered Montezuma's treasure in New Mexico. He also has captured (don't ask me how) the guardian of the treasure, the feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl (who I will henceforth denote as Q). When a (soon to be extinct) colleague gets wind of the treasure, Zucco plants a feather in his house, knowing that Q will come looking for it and kill whoever has it. Zucco's stepdaughter (played by the semi-comatose Hope Kramer) discovers the feather behind some furniture, and the idiot colleague immediately jumps to the conclusion that some soft of prehistoric creature must have left it. That's right ... there's a giant reptile flying inside your house, pal, but you just haven't seen it. You deserve to get the blood sucked out of you.

Enter radio personality "Dick" Thorpe, played by Ralph Lewis, who has a penchant for shoving a mike in front of people's faces. "Dick" is determined to discover who/what is behind the killing. Meanwhile, the bodies pile up. In one of the most ridiculous scenes, "Dick" is doing his broadcast and getting ready to introduce a scientist who is studying one of the feathers. Of course, the scientist gets whacked by Q, and "Dick" jumps out of his chair and pulls a gun. This could start a trend. I can just see Sean Hannity and Keith Olbermann packing heat. Not pretty.

Somehow, "Dick" decides that Zucco is the mastermind. Since the film is only 58 minutes long, he has to get to this conclusion pretty quickly. So "Dick" decides to do another broadcast from the treasure room (never mind calling the cops, "Dick"). Meanwhile, Zucco has taken his step-daughter to the same place to show off his treasure. And now we learn that Zucco's wife was accidentally killed by Q, which is how Zucco discovered that planting a feather will lure the serpent in for the kill. Inexplicably, Zucco decides to off the stepdaughter. Will "Dick" save the day?

In the astounding final scene, Sir Ralph Richardson opens up his wallet and a Q feather falls out.

Zucco is always fun to watch, even in crap like this. Speaking of crap, Montezuma's Curse is mentioned a few times. If that doesn't make you run for the can, the serpent-on-a-string will.

"This script is the biggest piece of ... hey, is that blonde babe gonna be in this?"


"Go ahead, take a lick."


Ray Walston tries a bird call to lure Q, while "Dick" whistles "Dicksie."



"Go ahead, take a lick."


Incoming Q ... think fast, pal.


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Growing up on old-films-on-scratchy-TV, I'd never seen this so when it showed up on DVD years ago, it was a first-choice.


And you're dead-on in all of the comments - George Zucco is a favorite, no matter what else. This may be one of his bigger roles (more dialog? more screen-time?) but no matter what he's in, I've enjoyed watching at least him.


And again, your screen-caps and captions are the highlights. Excellent, as always!

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I'll probably never think of Q THE WINGED SERPENT as a remake of THE FLYING SERPENT, but I'm a big fan of Q. The idea of this huge creature, flying around, helping depopulate Manhattan's crowded rush-hour sidewalks - sure! What New Yorker hasn't wondered, "Why are all these people in front of me? Why can't some of 'em stay home instead? Wait in their offices another few hours? Or get snatched by some great, flying soipant?"


Michael Moriarty never had it any better.

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Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski


White trash extravanganza, as giant bloodsuckers (not to be confused with IRS agents) invade a Florida swamp.

Hefty Bruno veSota plays a walking condominium who owns a general store. His wife is played by my favorite movie tramp, Yvette Vickers. Don't even ask how these two got together. Naturally, Vickers plays around with veSota's so-called pal, played by Michael Emmet. Vickers calls veSota a fat pig; Emmet calls veSota a tub of lard. We can thank actor Leo Gordon (no thin man himself) for the scintillating screenplay.

Enter rugged-Rod Taylor-lookalike-non-actor Ken Clark, County Game Warden or something like that. Ken is making out with Jan Shepard at the swamp, in between his official duties, when they hear a scream. Clark stumbles across Vickers who has stumbled across corpse number one. From here, the bodies pile up, because, as we know, if there is something dangerous in the swamp, then by all means, let's all head to the swamp.

veSota finds Vickers and Emmet in a compromising position and chases them through the swamp. While he threatens the pair (Vickers) with his shotgun, something pulls her and Emmet underwater.

Enter tubby Gene Roth, who plays the town Sheriff. He is convinced veSota offed the two, so he throws him in the slammer. Not to give anything away, but let's just say veSota decides to "hang around his cell."

Meanwhile, two morons go in search of bodies in the swamp. You will root for them to die. We discover there is an underground cave where the leeches keep their victims barely alive so they can snack on them as needed. If these leeches had just snared veSota and Roth, they would be satisfied for a year.

Clark spends most of the movie trying to convince everyone not to dynamite the swamp. After all, he's trying to preserve the wildlife, even though there is none in the swamp except for a couple of guys wearing plastic suits with giant suckers on them. Finally, Shepard's father, played by Tyler McVey, decides to detonate some explosives, much to the chagrin of Clark. By the way, Clark shows chagrin the same way he shows every other emotion, which is to say he can't act worth a darn. The leeches show more talent.

The ending is totally devoid of any suspense as the swamp explodes. Eventually all the bodies rise, and the movie sinks.

The film is in widescreen, which makes even bigger stars out of veSota and Roth.

"Oh, that really was a gun in your pocket."

Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer ... the senior citizen years.

veSota impersonates a pinata.

Sophia Loren collapses after multiple takes for Boy on a Dolphin.

Luca Brasi has a cameo.

A local white trash production of The Graduate.

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  • 4 months later...

Rich: Thank you for the e-mail. I?ve spent the evening here and the YouTube reading your reviews, checking out the 50 worst movies, 25 worst Sci-Fi?s and finishing my Thanksgiving wine. These things are scary; if my fellow humans can concoct this stuff in the name of art what is lurking in me? That childhood nightmare about the giant palmetto bugs I had might not have been such a bad idea after all.

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  • 4 weeks later...

The Devil's Hand (1962)
Directed by William J. Hole

Robert Alda plays a guy with a decent job and a decent-looking girlfriend, played by Ariadna Welter. Alda starts seeing a stunning blonde in his dreams, dancing in the clouds. Yes, all of us middle-aged guys go through this crisis in life. This leads him and Welter to a puppet store (I can't recall why), run by the weird Neil Hamilton. (This is a few years before Hamilton's gig as Commissioner Gordon on "Batman.") Hamilton convinces Alda that he ordered a puppet of the blonde; meanwhile Alda spots a puppet that looks like Welter. Alda and Welter leave the shop puppetless; Hamilton then sticks a pin in the Welter puppet, sending her to the hospital and essentially removing her from the film until the finale.

Alda eventually returns to the shop and gets the blonde puppet. Geez, I am even boring myself with this review. Somehow he manages to show up at the blonde's apartment, and of course she is expecting him, which explains the negligee. The gorgeous blonde is played by Linda Christian, who provides the only reason for watching this film. Anyway, she does everything but tear his clothes off; unfortunately, she won't let Alda seal the deal until he becomes a subject of the great god Gamba. (In the unreleased Italian version, it is the great god Goombah.) So it's off to Hamilton's store where a bunch of devil-worshippers are gathered. Alert viewers might spot 1950s p i n u p queen Jeanne Carmen as one of the group; she is mostly hidden behind everyone, which is a waste of a good body.

In short order, Alan dumps Welter, he suddenly becomes a stock-trading wiz, Christian sports more cleavage, Hamilton sticks a pin in a fat puppet, a car goes over a cliff (well, actually it starts out as a car, but oddly looks like a truck when it goes over), Hamilton's joint burns down, and Alda and Welter produce a son who goes on to star in "M*A*S*H."

The opening music is bizarre; it's a rock and roll song, reminiscent of Elvis' hit "Little Sister," sans Elvis and lyrics.

This is a suspense film with no suspense. The acting is acceptable; Alda is okay in his role. But no one can honestly believe a babe like Christian would suddenly get the hots for Alda and seduce him. Alda can thank his agent for the part, since he gets to have several make-out scenes with Christian.

Hamilton hams it up to no end, especially with his cool robe; see if you can keep track of how many times he says "Oh great god Gamba."

Oh- I have no idea what the title has to do with the film.

How many Buddhas can you spot in this picture?

Commissioner Gordon is shocked to discover that Bruce Wayne wears a dress.

This couple came in last in the hit series, "Dancing with the Satanists."

"This is the supreme test. You must take this giant candy cane and pole-vault over this woman."

Commissioner Gordon's worst nightmare:
"Hello ... you have reached the Bat-Cave ... we're not able to come to the phone right now ..."

"There'll be parties for hosting, fat puppets for toasting ..."

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  • 1 month later...

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