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20th Century Vole Presents


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ASTA  MEETS  ANOTHER THIN MAN

 

Super- smart doggie Asta meets his match when some suit gets the idea that he and George Sanders should star in a movie together. The climax of the film is when they have a "Wit - Off".

 

bd90bca2611d196dfa0caf29859a80c5.jpg

 

"Look here, I don't see why I'm being subjected to

matching my razor sharp wit against a lowly mutt. 

And don't expect me to make any "hair of the dog"

jokes, either. "

 

 

after-the-thin-man-17.jpg?resize=350%2C2

 

"Woof !   Rrrrrruff  Ruff !  Grrr !"

(Translation:

"What the hell is a "wit - off" ? I thought they said

" bit-off".  I can certainly do that. Maybe I'll start with

that flower in his button-hole. ....." )

 

This is brilliant.  

 

I know from past expirience dogs always win in a wit off.  The pup will find a quiet corner and mark their territory.  Their last "remark" cannot be rebutted. 

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This is brilliant.  

 

I know from past expirience dogs always win in a wit off.  The pup will find a quiet corner and mark their territory.  Their last "remark" cannot be rebutted. 

 

I should think not. 

Hey, I hear that our other favourite George, Mr. Brent, was also pretty good at rebuttals.

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ASTAWAY

 

In which our intrepid pooch takes a cruise with Nick and Nora Charles. One night, while the Charles are getting smashed as they barhop from one shipboard watering hole to another, and trading barbed digs at each other, Asta wanders the decks of the ship. A sudden wave washes him over. He spends a frightful night paddling around aimlessly in the dark. In the morning, he awakens to find himself washed up on a beach of a deserted tropical island. Asta sets about looking for his masters (or in his mind, servants), but soon realizes the futility of this.

 

Asta decides to make the best of it, and tries to adapt. He fashions a dog house out of palm fronds, and learns to like breadfruit, bananas, coconuts and other tropical fruit. He learns to fish, and masters this in the protected lagoon. His early frustation in not finding any fire hydrants is soon mitigated by the plentiful trunks of coconut palms as a substitute. He soon found himself marking his territory all over the island, effectively claiming it for himself. Soon, he befriends a feral female pig, and together they enjoy each other's company as they have the run of the island.

 

Unfortunately, paradise is lost when a search vessel finds him, and returns him to Nick and Nora. They are relieved to have Asta back, if not repentant of their drinking habits, as they go out that night to celebrate Asta's return.

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I understand Asta's career went into a tail spin for a few years after the release of the ill-advised dog, The Asta Race.

In a rare turn in a villainous role, Asta plays the ruthless dictatorial leader of a kennel where he is determined to see his own breed supersede all others.  "What on earth were they thinking?" decried Alexander Woolcott, "This is nothing but doggie porn."

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I understand Asta's career went into a tail spin for a few years after the release of the ill-advised dog, The Asta Race.

In a rare turn in a villainous role, Asta plays the ruthless dictatorial leader of a kennel where he is determined to see his own breed supersede all others.  "What on earth were they thinking?" decried Alexander Woolcott, "This is nothing but doggie porn."

 

That's what often happens when beloved movie stars try to stretch their acting muscles.

The public (and often the critics) won't accept their favorites in roles that deviate from how they've come to know and love them.

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That's what often happens when beloved movie stars try to stretch their acting muscles.

The public (and often the critics) won't accept their favorites in roles that deviate from how they come to know and love them.

Yes, and it probably explains why Asta fled America when he was offered the lead in a Titanus production in Rome.   Critics described it as a fluffy piece of nonsense and likened it to 'throwing a bone' to the disgraced canine.  Still, l'Asta of the Red Hot Lovers proved to be a hit in Italy and Titanus offered him another picture, Animali Pazzi (1939).  But Asta backed out of the picture when it was announced he would be second billed to Toto.

Years later his biographer explained "Asta thought Toto was the dog from The Wizard of Oz and no way was he going to take second billing to that mutt.  Who knew that Toto was actually a person and the biggest star in Italy to boot."

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ASTAWAY

 

In which our intrepid pooch takes a cruise with Nick and Nora Charles. One night, while the Charles are getting smashed as they barhop from one shipboard watering hole to another, and trading barbed digs at each other, Asta wanders the decks of the ship. A sudden wave washes him over. He spends a frightful night paddling around aimlessly in the dark. In the morning, he awakens to find himself washed up on a beach of a deserted tropical island. Asta sets about looking for his masters (or in his mind, servants), but soon realizes the futility of this.

 

Asta decides to make the best of it, and tries to adapt. He fashions a dog house out of palm fronds, and learns to like breadfruit, bananas, coconuts and other tropical fruit. He learns to fish, and masters this in the protected lagoon. His early frustation in not finding any fire hydrants is soon mitigated by the plentiful trunks of coconut palms as a substitute. He soon found himself marking his territory all over the island, effectively claiming it for himself. Soon, he befriends a feral female pig, and together they enjoy each other's company as they have the run of the island.

 

Unfortunately, paradise is lost when a search vessel finds him, and returns him to Nick and Nora. They are relieved to have Asta back, if not repentant of their drinking habits, as they go out that night to celebrate Asta's return.

 

 

Great movie material! It has it all.........

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I understand Asta's career went into a tail spin for a few years after the release of the ill-advised dog, The Asta Race.

In a rare turn in a villainous role, Asta plays the ruthless dictatorial leader of a kennel where he is determined to see his own breed supersede all others.  "What on earth were they thinking?" decried Alexander Woolcott, "This is nothing but doggie porn."

 

 

LOL. XXX rated............

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Yes, and it probably explains why Asta fled America when he was offered the lead in a Titanus production in Rome.   Critics described it as a fluffy piece of nonsense and likened it to 'throwing a bone' to the disgraced canine.  Still, l'Asta of the Red Hot Lovers proved to be a hit in Italy and Titanus offered him another picture, Animali Pazzi (1939).  But Asta backed out of the picture when it was announced he would be second billed to Toto.

Years later his biographer explained "Asta thought Toto was the dog from The Wizard of Oz and no way was he going to take second billing to that mutt.  Who knew that Toto was actually a person and the biggest star in Italy to boot."

 

I've only seen l'Asta of the Red Hot Lovers  in the dubbed-into-English version.

Someday I hope to see the movie in the original Italian.

 

Who ended up playing the role in Animali Pazzi  that was originally offered to Asta?

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I've only seen l'Asta of the Red Hot Lovers  in the dubbed-into-English version.

Someday I hope to see the movie in the original Italian.

 

Who ended up playing the role in Animali Pazzi  that was originally offered to Asta?

I have no idea who took over from Asta in Animali Pazzi.  The imdb in unclear.

 

But I believe that is Asta's own voice in both the English and Italian versions of l'Asta of the Red Hot Lovers.  Interesting that Asta's part was rewritten many years later for Alan Arkin.

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THE [..] OF ASTAWICK
In which our nattily dressed hero and three feminine friends relocate from New York to a staid New England hamlet. Before long the randy goings-on between them are scandalizing the villagers. Soon Asta and his sorceresses are using their magical wiles to cause havoc and unnatural urges among the formerly quiet canines of the burg. The townsfolk are shocked by the turn of events, and the position of town dog.catcher is suddenly opened, and proves to have the highest paid salary in the county.

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THE [..] OF ASTAWICK

In which our nattily dressed hero and three feminine friends relocate from New York to a staid New England hamlet. Before long the randy goings-on between them are scandalizing the villagers. Soon Asta and his sorceresses are using their magical wiles to cause havoc and unnatural urges among the formerly quiet canines of the burg. The townsfolk are shocked by the turn of events, and the position of town dog.catcher is suddenly opened, and proves to have the highest paid salary in the county.

 

I'm on the edge of my seat. What happens next? This is really good. More please ...

 

(...but not before I get another bag of popcorn).

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Village of the Scammed

 

A village is tormented by the possibility that a group of children who come from different families but mysteriously look alike complete with beautiful blond hair, angelic faces (when they are not glaring at you) and eye ailments that are unnerving as all get out, are endowed with kinetic powers that threaten the whole community. A controversy surrounding a strange event whereby all the villagers were served mickeys at a barnyard event the night before with the property that made everyone fall over and remain motionless at precisely the same time was resolved and the suspicions cast upon the children were discredited and everyone once again concluded that the children were not evil at all but merely sweet bundles of innocence, despite the fact it was they who spread all those false rumors about killing all the villagers and taking over the world. The lead villager, played by George Sanders, gives a measured performance save for certain lapses. Analysis revealed that Mr Sanders was upset for being passed over for Star of the Month for months and months and months and months and that he was extremely depressed about it, resulting in deviant behavior consisting of lacing his briefcase with explosives for the purpose of blowing up all the children. At the last moment, however, he realized that the children, who were glaring at him with light bulbs in their eyes, were totally blameless. The last frame shows Mr Sanders realizing his mistake and grinning sheepishly at the camera. The children were saved and lived happy, healthy lives, despite being a little creepy.

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A LETTER.TO THREE WOLVES

In which three male wolves, on a hunting party, receive a letter from Asta, the wire terrier they all loathe, informing them that he has run of with one of their wives, although he maliciously does not mention which. The film.goes into a series of flashbacks, as each wolf has time to reflect about his relationship with his mate.

 

Number One realizes that his youthful wife, still wet.behind the ears when they met and mated, was too eager to please, jumping all over his face, licking and drooling mightily. He realizes he might've been too severe is his demonstations of disapproval.

 

Number Two reflects on the fact that his mate was.never happy with the "bacon" he would bring home. She always yearned for more choice cuts of caribou, not the hares and voles he tended to provide. She decided to be the primary supplier of food for the family, thereby rendering him feeling emasculated.

 

Number Three saw that his mate had wanted to move up the pack hierarchy, hoping to get an alpha male. She used all her wiles to entrap him, seeing him as her ticket up, and despite his resistance, eventually gave in and struck a bargain. Neither is sure of their true feelings for each other.

 

The three.return to the pack eagerly if apprehensively. To their surprise, Asta has taken all three female wolves, and has established himself as Alpha male in a pack of his own. Hey ho.

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ASTA MEETS THE TRUMP MAN

 

Mr. Trump tells Asta that he has an ugly face, "just like Toto in that dumb Judy Garland movie. And she had an ugly face, too!"

 

Asta pees on Mr. Trump's leg, which causes the Trump Man to melt away.

 

Asta is hailed as a national hero, and allowed free run of the White House.

 

 

 

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                              The End.

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ASTA MEETS THE TRUMP MAN

 

Mr. Trump tells Asta that he has an ugly face, "just like Toto in that dumb Judy Garland movie. And she had an ugly face, too!"

 

Asta pees on Mr. Trump's leg, which causes the Trump Man to melt away.

 

Asta is hailed as a national hero, and allowed free run of the White House.

 

 

 

418c55e5-515a-4ca8-b18e-675380b71920_zps

 

                              The End.

 

 

That's some powerful p!!!!

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