Hibi Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Well, after all, Asta does take a lot of slurps from Nick Charles's martinis. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bogie56 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 LOL. XXX rated............ It had long been rumoured that after turning down Animali Pazzi for Titanus, Asta stayed on in Rome and appeared in an 16mm XXX rated film called Asta al Dente. It was said that Asta did all of his own stunt work in the film but that his voice was dubbed by an Italian Spinone. Long considered to be a lost film, VHS copies of Asta al Dente turned up at a trading table at Cruft's in 2012 and quickly sold out to private collectors. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laffite Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 Gone with the Breaking Wind An Olfactory Film P.U. Husen had become somewhat of a problem. His favorite eatery was Bowl O' Beans, the delight of which was unparalleled in the annals of that messy, starchy food. Alas, he was finally told "no mo" and the mood of the staff was almost euphoric. Gas masks were now to be left at home. Although the establishment had a zero-tolerance flatulence policy and their recipes meticulously geared for compliance, Husen was immune to the desired effects and he was shunned by his fellows. Nothing else found entry to his palette. Other like eateries would serve him until no mo. He was oft seen wandering about. Folks would point and say, there goes Husen. It was said he died of loneliness. P.U. Husen was found under the footbridge with nothing but the same ragged clothes on his back, a pipe with no tobacco, and an empty bowl o' beans. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
film lover 293 Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 lafitte--deserve 3 likes--someone else remembers the flop "The Scent of Mystery" (1960), which was in Smell-O-Vision!--or was that "Polyester" (1981)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomJH Posted September 26, 2015 Share Posted September 26, 2015 THE COMIC WHO WAS A POET starring . . . the ONE and ONLY . . . RODNEY!!!!! Doing His ONE MAN Comedy Act "Hey, I knew a girl named Bubbles, Bubbles La Tour. Talented girl. She used to stand on the stage and pull a fish out of her bra." "Hey, I heard those boos back there! Whatta ya want in a dump like this? A class act or somethin'?" "Now, where was I? Oh, yeh, Bubbles. Ugly girl, ugly. I sent her a poem once: "Bubbles LaTour, She looks like manure." I musta spent a half hour thinking that one up for her. A half hour in which I coulda been drinking! But Bubbles didn't like it. 'I don't like it,' she said. How do you like that? So I said to her, "Hey, Bubbles, I'm a poet. I'm sensitive. Ya hurt my feelings." So she said she was sorry. And being the gent that I am, as soon as Bubbles apologized to me, I stopped hitting her with the shovel." JUST A SMALL SAMPLE, FOLKS, OF HIS ONE MAN ACT IN THIS GREAT FILM INSIGHT INTO A COMIC MIND (DIRTY AS IT MAY BE) . . . RODNEY, THE HUMAN COMEDY MACHINE THAT WAS ALSO A SENSITIVE POET!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomJH Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 That material I used in the last post for my movie was gold, pure GOLD! Just my luck! What do I get for an audience here? A bunch of silver miners! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arturo Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 THE LITTER Bette Davis stars as the wife of a plantation foreman.in Borneo, who lies to husband Herbert Marshall to cover up that their faithful.dog Asta has not been all that faithful, running off every chance he gets to the neighboring plantation, to be there with the female mutt, who like the tropical.climate,.always seemed to be in heat. Davis doesn't want hubby to know the truth about the mixed breed litter Asta has sired, since it'll ruin his plans to establish a puppy mill. So she pays mysterious Gale Sondagard, in a reprise of her role earlier that year as Cat inTHE BLUE BIRD, to do away with the evidence. Sondagard slashes the pups with her dagger-like claws. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldenIsHere Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It had long been rumoured that after turning down Animali Pazzi for Titanus, Asta stayed on in Rome and appeared in an 16mm XXX rated film called Asta al Dente. It was said that Asta did all of his own stunt work in the film but that his voice was dubbed by an Italian Spinone. Long considered to be a lost film, VHS copies of Asta al Dente turned up at a trading table at Cruft's in 2012 and quickly sold out to private collectors. A clip from ASTA AL DENTE was once posted on YouTube but has since been taken down. The voice sounded like Asta's to me, but I can't with 100% certainty say that the voice was not dubbed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 YERCLASSIC PARK A theme park featuring only "Classic" movies goes terribly wrong when a few renegade cinephiles insist that post-1960 films must be integrated into the park's structure. The theme park's owner hauls in a couple of film critics and his two grandchildren to fix things, but it's no good, the post-1960 movies have broken loose, and nothing can stop them. Oh, the horror. "Now look what you've done. Black and white bleeding into colour, no more pre-codes, and sex, drugs, and violence busting out everywhere ! " A true "classic" film fan running amok with outrage... 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I advise those who feel this way: http://forums.tcm.com/index.php?/topic/58159-tcm-not-so-classic-anymore/ to avoid YerClassic Park. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 VILLAGE OF THE SPAMMED A (for the most part) harmless innocuous internet message board "village" is invaded by mysterious beings who appear to wish its inhabitants no good. Despite a variety of protests from the TCM residents, the SPAMMERS inexorably beam the sickly light of their digital eyes on the village every night. Brick walls are useless. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 THE RETURN OF VILLAGE OF THE SPAMMED They're back ! More of the same. See below. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGayDivorcee Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 VILLAGE OF THE SPAMMED A (for the most part) harmless innocuous internet message board "village" is invaded by mysterious beings who appear to wish its inhabitants no good. Despite a variety of protests from the TCM residents, the SPAMMERS inexorably beam the sickly light of their digital eyes on the village every night. Brick walls are useless. "...beam the sickly light of their digital eyes on the village every night." Love this! (But not the mysterious beings.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Yes, I believe those executives had to work hard....there was a lot at steak. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 And some of them could almost taste that promotion. After I got done with this, I was thinking Executive Sweet would work too, just substitute candy for meat. That sounds kind of yucky though. Candied meat is not a food product I would endorse. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casablanca100views Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Candied meat is not a food product I would endorse. Actually, crisp bacon with caramel and dipped in chocolate is delicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 And extremely good for us, too. (one way or another...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimpole Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 SECRETS AND THIGHS Paul Verhoeven decides that a kitchen sink drama would be better with gratuitous nudity. But it turns out the nudity is not only ironic but designed to make male viewers distinctly uncomfortable. Also, there are giant rampaging bugs invading Islington. Meanwhile Mike Leigh tries to seize back control of his film by having Daleks talk with Marianne Jean-Baptiste about being a metaphor for fascism, as well as their interest in Eric Rohmer movies. Verhoeven retaliates with asking whether the Daleks are actually a scapegoat for and of fascism, while including explict sex scenes that only guarantee a NC-18 rating, but also makes the investors shoot themselves off camera. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldenIsHere Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 SECRETS AND THIGHS Paul Verhoeven decides that a kitchen sink drama would be better with gratuitous nudity. But it turns out the nudity is not only ironic but designed to make male viewers distinctly uncomfortable. Also, there are giant rampaging bugs invading Islington. Meanwhile Mike Leigh tries to seize back control of his film by having Daleks talk with Marianne Jean-Baptiste about being a metaphor for fascism, as well as their interest in Eric Rohmer movies. Verhoeven retaliates with asking whether the Daleks are actually a scapegoat for and of fascism, while including explict sex scenes that only guarantee a NC-18 rating, but also makes the investors shoot themselves off camera. Is it true that SECRETS AND THIGHS included a full frontal nude scene with Mike Leigh regular Timothy Spall? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arturo Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 THE HOARSE DOG WHISPERER In which our intrepid pooch Asta is sent to obedience school. However, he refuses to follow the guidance in the pronouncements of the schoolteacher/dog trainer (who, in getting first billing, did not help matters with Asta). Said teacher/trainer is aphonic from screaming so loudly in his frustration that he is not effective in convincing his pupils to his views. The solution seems to be to draw up lists, first one listing Asta's positive qualities, then a second list listing negatives, and a third one for improvements needed. In the course of an hour and a half, one list.inexplicably changes title, and the negative one mysteriously disappears. This high concept film proved a hit with critics and fans alike. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonesomePolecat Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! Walt Whitaker and his family are about to leave their summer home on Gloucester Island when suddenly there is a knock on the door. At first they seem to be regular guys asking for directions. Then Little Pete Whitaker notices one of the men holding a coffee cup from Tim Horton's. He tells his dad, "Ask 'em if their Canadians!" Pete is proven correct and the Canadians hold the family hostage as they drive off in the Whitaker car. The Whitakers find out from the remaining Canadian that they have run out of Maple Syrup and came to New England to buy some more. Soon the word spreads all over town that the Canadians have captured the airport, but not one is too concerned because, heck, it's just Canadians! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arturo Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 INDY ASTA JONES AND THE MESSAGEBOARD SPAM Everybody's favorite archeological terrier temporarily gives up digging bones to try and resolve an ongoing and recurring onslaught of spam threads in an Asian script on the pages of a.popular classic movie channel messageboard. As the volleys come when there seem.to be tensions and rancor on the boards, theories abound as to the source of the obnoxious posts. Despite his best efforts, Asta did not definitively determine the actual source, adding him to the list of the flummoxed. A sequel is promised for 2017, in which the culprit will be revealed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misswonderly3 Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 INDY ASTA JONES AND THE MESSAGEBOARD SPAM Everybody's favorite archeological terrier temporarily gives up digging bones to try and resolve an ongoing and recurring onslaught of spam threads in an Asian script on the pages of a.popular classic movie channel messageboard. As the volleys come when there seem.to be tensions and rancor on the boards, theories abound as to the source of the obnoxious posts. Despite his best efforts, Asta did not definitively determine the actual source, adding him to the list of the flummoxed. A sequel is promised for 2017, in which the culprit will be revealed. I can't figure out why we are dogged by this terrible spam. And besides, it's not half as good as regular canned dog food. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldenIsHere Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! Walt Whitaker and his family are about to leave their summer home on Gloucester Island when suddenly there is a knock on the door. At first they seem to be regular guys asking for directions. Then Little Pete Whitaker notices one of the men holding a coffee cup from Tim Horton's. He tells his dad, "Ask 'em if their Canadians!" Pete is proven correct and the Canadians hold the family hostage as they drive off in the Whitaker car. The Whitakers find out from the remaining Canadian that they have run out of Maple Syrup and came to New England to buy some more. Soon the word spreads all over town that the Canadians have captured the airport, but not one is too concerned because, heck, it's just Canadians! I liked the part of the movie where one of the Yanks was able infiltrate the group that captured the airport, successfully posing as a Canuck until he was given away by his pronunciation of poutine. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomJH Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! Walt Whitaker and his family are about to leave their summer home on Gloucester Island when suddenly there is a knock on the door. At first they seem to be regular guys asking for directions. Then Little Pete Whitaker notices one of the men holding a coffee cup from Tim Horton's. He tells his dad, "Ask 'em if their Canadians!" Pete is proven correct and the Canadians hold the family hostage as they drive off in the Whitaker car. The Whitakers find out from the remaining Canadian that they have run out of Maple Syrup and came to New England to buy some more. Soon the word spreads all over town that the Canadians have captured the airport, but not one is too concerned because, heck, it's just Canadians! Don't ever anger a Canadian! He might not be willing to share his box of Tim Horton's donuts with you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts