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20th Century Vole Presents

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Hope the quotation under the pic fit what you had in mind.


Coming soon: *The Last Rocky Horror Picture Show*



"Look, all we have to do is crash this costume party

and we'll be out of this world."



A young man and his girlfriend, bored with their dusty small town, decide to check out a wild party they've heard about, out in the country. Using the pseudonyms of "Brad" and "Janet", they infiltrate the event, which is being held in a former movie house. In the course of their adventure, they encounter a lonely older woman looking for love, a buff android, at least two bisexual housemaids, and wise old cowboy type.

A coming of age film like no other.

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If I hear any more of this mutinous talk from you scurvy sea dogs,

I'll see to it that the Grape Kool-Aid and Chips Ahoy rations are cut in half.







*Mutiny over the Bounty*


The crew had already discovered that Captain Bligh had exceeded the 125 maggots per

square inch of meat limit, but the last straw was his substitution of cheap one ply paper

towels for the usual two-ply extra strength Bounty. Now there's no holding back the forces

of rebellion.

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*Orange Pulp Fiction*


A gang of ruthless but cool criminals discover that a crate of their special black market orange juice, obtained at great cost from a former boxer gone underworld trader, has been stolen. The boss sends his best two thugs to recover the juice, which may or may not be hidden in a former Vietnamese prisoner of war camp.



"I don't know what was in that orange juice we had tonight, but I've never

had so much energy."


Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 23, 2010 4:49 PM

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. By Gad, I love to talk to other people who will

listen to me talk, especially when they will pay in coin of the realm to hear me talk about

talking about not much at all. Now, shall we talk about the black bird? Yes, indeed, I'd

love to talk to others who want to talk about talking concerning talk about the black bird.

But before I talk about talking about the black bird, let me talk about my dingus...






*Sydney Greenstreet: Floating to Catalina*


A little seen documentary record of one of Greenstreet's one man shows that he performed

off and on during the 1940s.

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Hmm, well , if that monologue is a sample, I can understand why it was little seen.



"I object, sir, to your implications implying that I am any

thing but succinct in my speech."


Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 28, 2010 9:39 PM


Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 28, 2010 10:03 PM


Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 28, 2010 10:03 PM

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That's the problem with presentism. Seventy years ago folks ate this up, as difficult as

that may be to believe.




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So, Mr. Spade, do you know the history of the falcon? Well sir, it is first mentioned in

an apocryphal book about the Garden of Eden, where it is said to have stood on the

ground by an apple tree. Next, it is seen in an Egyptian papyrus. As you know, the

the cat was sacred to the ancient Egyptians, but what is not as well known, so was

the falcon. Then it disappears for thousands of years, until it was unearthed by one of

Napoleon's soldiers. Well sir, he didn't recognize the true value of the bird and took

it back to Paris as a keepsake and later sold it to a dealer in antiquities. No doubt Mr.

Spade a man of your literary taste has heard of the French poet Charles Baudelaire, who

had a special fondness for cats. We now believe that it was indeed this poet who bought it

from the antique shop, so that there was something to keep his cat statues company. But

even a connoisseur of the fine arts like Baudelaire was ignorant of what he had. Once

again the falcon disappears from the historical record. Mr. Spade, I assume you are a fan

of baseball, and know of the famous double play combination of Tinker to Evers to Chance.

How it got from Paris to Chicago, no one will ever know, but it did, and these ignorant

athletes threw it around like so much cowhide. Somehow it survived all these events intact.

Five years ago, it appeared in the possession of Captain Spaulding, the famous African

explorer. He sold it to General Kamenov, which is where I and my associates enter the

picture. Like so many others in the past, the good General did not realize the treasure he

possessed, but we, sir, did. We tried to steal it, but failed. Miss O'Shaughnessy, whom I

believe you know, tried her feminine wiles in order to obtain it. She too failed. But then,

by a stroke of luck, Kamenov decided to move back to Moscow and had a yard sale, and

there, in plain sight, was the falcon. Joel Cairo posed as a regular guy and bought the falcon.

But before he could give it to me, it was stolen by Archer, Miss O'Shaughnessy's confederate.

You already know what fate befell the unfortunate Mr. Archer. We now suspect that Miss

O'Shaughnessy is hiding it somewhere. An interesting story for sure, Mr. Spade. You wonder

how much the dingus is worth, sir? If put up for auction, it is worth millions. Dressed up in a

little doggie's winter coat and hat, it is priceless. So now, Mr. Spade, would you be interested

in joining our little group in pursuit of the falcon? You would be a handy man to have along

on such a trip. No? You mean to stay here and try to date Wilmer? Well, sir, you truly are

an interesting character. Yes, indeed. It is not, sir, what I would have chosen to do, but as the

ancients have it, there is no accounting for taste. Dating Wilmer. A most amazing character

indeed. May I pass along a piece of advice, sir? Wilmer likes gladiolas and chocolate covered

cherries. Not together, of course. Well sir, I must be on my way. The Number Ten bus to

Las Vegas awaits at the Greyhound station. That is where we think Miss O'Shaughnessy is.

You won't reconsider? I mean really...Wilmer? Very well, good bye Mr. Spade and good luck.

I have a feeling you'll need it.

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Recently discoverd hidden in a vault in a museum of Egyptian artifacts, the long-lost tale of a young man, a black statue, and a verbose fat man. 20th Century Vole presents:


*The Corn is Greenstreet*





"If I have to listen to that pompous excuse

for a teacher one more time, I swear I'll

burn my books and become a miner or

a farmer, or maybe even a private

detective. And where's Wilmer?"


Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 31, 2010 2:38 PM


Edited by: misswonderly on Jul 31, 2010 2:58 PM

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No, she a no pick, she's a scratch. Mamma mia, she's a scratch.





*Butterfield 8 1/2*


Famed but tapped out director Federico Fellini can only get financing for his

next film project if he agrees to have Liz Taylor and Eddie Fisher in the movie.

He knows Liz will fit in fine with his female fantasies, but he suspects he will

probably have to whip Eddie into shape.

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*The Sweet and Sour Smell of Success*


Two men, one older and cynical and the other younger and aspiring to cynicism, form a partnership to start a Chinese restaurant. Their niche market will be hard-edged people with sisters, journalists, and those with genuine cynicism credentials.




"I know we can make this work. Focus on the sweet and sour, maybe a little

Szechuan. And you'll have to stop butting out your cigarettes in the chicken



Edited by: misswonderly on Aug 6, 2010 3:08 PM


Edited by: misswonderly on Aug 6, 2010 3:08 PM

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A South African tribesman goes in search of the tribal icon, a Coke bottle, which he discovers in a shooting gallery as part of an act featuring Annie Laurie Starr. He thinks she's the ugliest woman he ever saw, yet before he knows it he's robbing banks with her.

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I'm really laughing at the contributions to this thread. Thanks, everyone.


How about *Orchestra Wives Under Suspicion* ?


Joan Crawford and Ann Rutherford play newlywed wives to big band musicians Fred MacMurray and George Montgomery. All are on a european tour with the band. It's the eve of WWII. The wives are bored and moonlight as spies. Gail Patrick plays the troublemaking "girl singer". She tries to slip German folk songs into the band's repertoire of swing music. The Nicholas Brothers dazzle with their tap rendition of "Mein Gorilla Hat ne Villa im Zoo" (My Gorilla Has a Villa in the Zoo). Warren William plays a jealous tour guide who's secretly in love with Gail Patrick.


Edited by: countessdelave on Aug 8, 2010 2:13 PM

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*Gross Encounters of the **** Kind*


An alien craft lands too close to an outhouse. When the alien commander gets out, it falls in. Angry when it realizes what the stuff is, it sends a giant cosmic chandelier to squash Richard Dreyfus and Francois Truffaut, in retaliation.

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*Poultry Lice*


In a typical suburban home, with a typical suburban family, objects begin to move, even flying around the room. The TV seems invested with a strange life, and makes strange sounds. The little girl pf the family opens her closet to find one wall missing, replaced with a strange glow. They call in a specialist, who determines that their home is infested with poultry lice, which have made a huge glowing nest in the closet. An exterminator is called in, and the problem is solved.

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*12 Angry Men in Black Narcissus*


Aliens disguised as humans are taking vows at a convent high in the Himalayas, arousing unusual passions in the human nuns. This might all have passed unnoticed, but one day, a young nun is found dead, with her brains sucked out through a small hole in the base of her skull, obviously the work of an alien.


12 Men in Black are sent to investigate, and bring justice. Most of them are certain of the alien culprit, but one isn't so sure. Much dramatic arguing ensues.


The sequel will take place in Brazil, during carnival. It will be called: *12 Angry Men in Black Orpheus*.

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Weeeee, you make me feel like a kid again, Kimmy. It's my wife you know,

she just doesn't understand me.









*Verti Au Go Go*


After his marriage to Midge ends in divorce, Scotty Ferguson slowly gets back into the

singles scene, and starts hanging around the Chartreuse Spinach go go club. He's enjoying

himself, even if most of the kids call him gramps. Then, one night, he musters the courage

to look up at the go go dancers in their high cages, and he notices one who looks

exactly like his long dead love, Madeleine...




Don't worry, Scotty. My bark is worse than my bite.

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