Jump to content
 
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

RICH'S B (AND WORSE) JUVENILE DELINQUENT THREAD


scsu1975
 Share

Recommended Posts

You're right, I should have mentioned the locale. Foran and Sparks lived in a dingy house along the canal. And the ever-present oil derricks play an important role in White's demise.

 

Now I have to find a good print of Daddy-O to roast.  Contino reminds me a cross between Ricardo Montalban and Rhodes Reason (or Rex Reason, never could tell which was which).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're right, I should have mentioned the locale. Foran and Sparks lived in a dingy house along the canal. And the ever-present oil derricks play an important role in White's demise.

 

Now I have to find a good print of Daddy-O to roast.  Contino reminds me a cross between Ricardo Montalban and Rhodes Reason (or Rex Reason, never could tell which was which).

 

Yeah, I see the reason for the Reason Bros connection here for some reason (sorry), but not so much the "Montalban" thing. Though yeah, I know you were goin' for the whole "Latin look" connection thing there.

 

Actually, in that "Daddy-O" scene, I'm seein' a little more "James Caan-ish" thing goin' on with the guy than Montalban.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Riot in Juvenile Prison (1959)

Directed by Edward L. Cahn

 

Scott Marlowe stars as a tough kid at the Ditman Hall “State Training School for Boys.” Apparently acting is not what these kids are being trained for. Marlowe leads a mini-breakout, but some of his gang are shot down by the guards and Marlowe is put in stir by the screws.  After we’re treated to multiple front page headlines of the problems at the school, the Governor of whatever state this is appoints a psychiatrist to run the school. The liberal shrink (Jerome Thor) immediately runs up against the school’s conservative warden, played by John Hoyt. Hoyt’s philosophy on discipline is somewhat to the right of Attila the Hun.

 

Thor’s first initiative is brilliant;  integrate the school by bringing in the chicks from the “Larkin School for Girls.” (More front page headlines.) Now what could possibly go wrong here?  Quack. The girls arrive to the sound of catcalls, whistles, and seem to enjoy every minute of it, setting the women’s movement back 1000 years.  The chicks are led by matrons Ann Doran and Marcia Henderson.  The next day, during the co-ed breakfast, Marlowe and a muscle head named Stu vie for the attention of one of the chicks, played by Virginia Aldridge. Meanwhile, a rival chick (Dorothy Provine) has her sights set on Marlowe;  she calls him “tall, dark, and delinquent.” The inevitable rumble between Marlowe and Stu occurs, with Thor breaking it up.  Henderson and Thor get off to a bad start, when she tells Thor his theories won’t work. But then we find out Henderson’s sister was once assaulted by a “sex psychopath.” So Thor does some of his psycho-alkalizing on Henderson, which ticks her off, especially when she finds out this is not covered by Obamacare. Since Henderson and Thor can’t stand each other, you know darn well that sooner or later, Henderson and Thor will do it ‘til they’re sore.

 

Undeterred by his first failure, Thor then announces that the School will start holding classes, showing films twice a week, holding a dance every two weeks, and eliminating armed guards. Quack.  Marlowe and his two pals (“Dink” and “Matches”) decide they are going to get even with one of the screws (tough guy Richard Reeves), who roughed up one of their friends.  Thor intercepts them and is beaten up for his trouble.

 

The big dance rolls around, and Stu tries to assault Aldridge. When Thor tries to intervene, Stu pulls a shiv, but Marlowe clocks Stu.  More front page headlines: sex assault at the school. Thor gets canned. Hoyt takes over and immediately turns the place back into the black hole of Calcutta. Marlowe manages to overpower Reeves, get his gun, and lead a revolt.  Can Thor somehow intercede, save the day, and reform Marlowe?  Hoyt calls Governor for help. Governor calls State Police for help.  Audience calls manager for refund.

 

Hoyt and Reeves play nasty throughout, and they do it well. The “delinquents” seem to change on a dime, varying from being repulsive to contrite. Marlowe is decent in his role, but is just a little too mixed up for my tastes. Also, he occasionally sounds like Jon Stewart impersonating Donald Trump.  Aldridge is blah, and I can’t figure out any reason why she would be in reform school unless she was convicted of impersonating an actress. Provine, despite her cute looks, is snooty, unlikable, and her nasal voice does not help either. Thor is deadly dull as the psychiatrist. Henderson has some nice curves. But her hair is pasted into a bun, making her look almost as old as Doran, who has appeared in roughly 10,000 films.

 

 

 

“This is the Warden!  Get me a higher chair!!”

Pe3j4H0.png

 

 

 

I didn’t realize things were that rough in Kweiteh.

5SfUyCd.png

 

 

 

Rush Limbaugh’s 3rd grade report card.

RvRamqg.png

 

 

 

“Don’t worry, it’s only a temporary job until Andy and Barney get back.”

tM0EnEJ.png

 

 

 

“OK, Dr. Smart***, you really thought you could impress them with one of your lectures on neurocognitive psychology?”

1Uu3yRg.png

 

 

 

“I think It’s two angels blowing horns.”

“No, I think it’s Bill Belichick and Tom Brady deflating their balls.”

FabvfW3.png

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Riot on Sunset Strip (1967)

Directed by Arthur Dreifuss

 

I wasn’t aware that a bunch of juveniles protesting on the streets constituted a riot, but then again, I didn’t write the screenplay.

 

Aldo Ray plays a police lieutenant who is trying to hold L.A. together and promote harmony between the fuzz and the populace.  It seems the cops are rousting teens for typical dip**** like smoking joints, underage drinking, and impersonating actors.  As one of the teens explains, “the only reason grass is illegal is that the public doesn’t understand. It’s an anachronism.” Well, it isn’t anymore. Just ask Colorado. Ray meets with a bunch of semi-intelligent long-hairs, and they reach an agreement in principle:  the kids will police themselves, and the police will kid themselves that the kids are policing themselves.

 

Unknown to Ray, his estranged daughter (Mimsy Farmer) is hanging out with the wrong crowd. The crowd includes Tim Rooney (yes, Mickey’s son) and Laurie Mock. The crowd ends up breaking into an expensive home, and some of them start dropping acid.  Mimsy gets slipped a mickey, and within seconds, she trips out into a 5-minute dance routine set to some far-out psychedelic music.  Apparently this was not choreographed by a human being.  The dance includes mopping the floor with her hands and lining up at center to snap a football.  Mimsy is then taken advantage of by several hooligans.

 

Ray and other officers arrive at the scene, just in time to let everyone escape except Mock, who is laughing convulsively, probably because she realizes her acting career is over.  Ray discovers his daughter and she is taken to the hospital. Mock squeals on Mimsy’s attackers, and they are arrested and brought to the same hospital, which gives Ray an excuse to beat the **** out of them. The only mistake he makes is not reading them their rights first.

 

TV journalist Bill Baldwin, playing a TV journalist, wastes no time going on the tube to tell everyone that Ray was abusive to the suspects. Now the Strip is about to explode, since the juvies figure Ray used excessive force. Local business owners are looking forward to some a**-kicking. As one says, “Well, they’re bound to lay the wood to a few heads, but isn’t it worth it?”

 

 Ray heads to the strip, tells a cop not to hit a kid, and everything calms down.

 

This film isn’t bad, but there is not enough violence and not enough police brutality. There is a short rumble inside a club called “Pandora’s Box,” but that’s just between the patrons.  There are too many musical interruptions by bands I never heard of playing songs I never heard of.  One guy does a Mick Jagger impersonation and shakes his maracas, but he looked more like an epileptic to me.  Mimsy’s hair is too big, and it’s not until about the last 5 minutes of the movie that you realize she can act.  Mock doesn’t act, but since she spent most of the film wearing a backless short green dress, I didn’t care. Ray is average (which for Ray, is good). I’ve always thought his best performance was as the only sane person in God’s Little Acre, a film I could not stand, except for perhaps Tina Louise’s remarkable front porch.

 

 

 

 

These kids do not know the proper way to install a car seat.

 

8kCgR8q.png

 

 

 

 

The Dean at UC Berkeley welcomes two new faculty members to the “Women’s Studies Program.”

 

5Lcu6SI.jpg

 

 

"Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue."

 

JqHbvXt.png

 

 

A rare still of Charlie Sheen from the unsold tv pilot “Two and a half Hippies.”

 

T8jGdgM.png

 

 

 

After doing this from dropping acid, I’d recommend dropping some Advil©.

 

iQC5buw.png

 

 

 

 

“One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small,

but the ones that I just gave you, don’t improve your acting at all …”

 

jKb4ZYp.png

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

The Party Crashers (1958)

Directed by Bernard Girard

 

I guess the intent of this film is to show that kids are screwed up because their parents are screwed up.  But what the film really shows is that its producer, director, and writer are screwed up.

 

Mark Damon, playing a character named Twig Webster (no relation to Branch Rickey) leads a group of thugs – wait, can’t use that word anymore – er, hooligans - who like to crash parties.  He and his - er, ruffians – arrive at one party and he immediately sets his radar on Connie Stevens. Stevens’ boyfriend, Bobby Driscoll, is not amused.  It doesn’t take long before Damon and his – er, malcontents – trash the place.  Connie finds all this strangely exciting; I find it hack. The cops arrive on the scene about ten seconds after being called, probably because there is a Dunkin’ Donuts shop around the corner. However, almost everyone gets away so the film can continue.

 

In short order, we get to meet everyone’s parents. Driscoll’s parents are played by former screen beauty Frances Farmer and future old guy Denver Pyle. Stevens’ parents are played by Onslow Stevens (fortunately for Connie, no relation) and some old bag preparing a speech called “The Natural Grain of Life.”  For some reason, Onslow acts rather effeminate, so maybe this marriage was arranged. Damon’s parents are played by former screen siren Doris Dowling (as the town ho) and character actor Walter Brooke (as the town lush).  After spending 5 minutes with any of these pairs, you’d be thankful for being an orphan.

 

As the film progresses, Damon makes the inevitable move on Stevens, who isn’t sure how to react, but does string him along while Driscoll huffs and puffs. In the finale, all the kids decide to crash a party. Damon is horrified to discover that his mother is one of the hors d’oeuvres. The adults running it are real bad-a**es, so another rumble ensues. For trivia buffs, one of the adults is played by Michael Ross, who had two roles in Attack of the 50-Foot Woman (bartender and very large alien). I won’t give away the rest, but somebody goes tumbling down a flight of stairs, and it ain’t Ralph Kramden. The fade-out is pretty phony.

 

The acting is okay, for the most part. The younger stars outshine the veterans. Connie is cute as ever and Damon is repulsive as ever.  Driscoll is actually pretty good in an uninteresting part, but is overshadowed by his co-stars. Farmer still looks good, but shows almost no emotion when reading her lines. Knowing her history, I guess we should give her a pass on this one. Brooke is a little too over-the-top as a drunken weenie. Dowling has the juiciest role, and also has the creepiest scene in the film, when it appears she is about ready to make out with Damon. Ewwwww.  Unless TCM decides to make Denver Pyle the Star of the Month, this film will remain buried, fortunately.

 

 

 

A short-lived ‘50s fad – Jacques Cousteau wallpaper.

bki1i1i.jpg

 

 

 

See if you can spot who is getting the prostate exam.

oPVCL2E.jpg

 

 

 

Ruth Buzzi lays the smackdown on Tor (Arte) Johnson.

j5fdU3i.jpg

 

 

 

This is the reaction I usually get when I explain why the commutative property of addition is important.

glkD3JM.jpg

 

 

 

This broad is so heavy, she’s dragging down the guy’s eyebrow.

D8StVaI.png

 

 

Just a tip, guys. If this is how your mother acts around you, get out fast.

MsbTKyV.png

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So Rich...

 

This guy looks like a cross between Hal March and some tall hangdog-style stand-up comedian I remember from the '70s/'80s.

 

Untitled5_zpsfdifjnxz.png

 

(...who am I thinking of here?...and btw, is that Michael Ross and who you referenced in your "review"?)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So Rich...

 

This guy looks like a cross between Hal March and some tall hangdog-style stand-up comedian I remember from the '70s/'80s.

 

Untitled5_zpsfdifjnxz.png

 

(...who am I thinking of here?...and btw, is that Michael Ross and who you referenced in your "review"?)

Not sure who you're thinking of (and this is not Michael Ross). Ross was that alien in the medieval costume in the 50-foot chick flick.

Are you thinking of Jackie Vernon?  He had that hang-dog look, but he was short and stout.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not sure who you're thinking of (and this is not Michael Ross). Ross was that alien in the medieval costume in the 50-foot chick flick.

Are you thinking of Jackie Vernon?  He had that hang-dog look, but he was short and stout.

 

Nope, not Jackie, Rich. The comic I'm thinking of looked a lot like and was as tall as this guy appears to be. His hangdog shtick was very similar to Dangerfield's.

 

So then who is the actor in this still from this flick?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nope, not Jackie, Rich. The comic I'm thinking of looked a lot like and was as tall as this guy appears to be. His hangdog shtick was very similar to Dangerfield's.

 

So then who is the actor in this still from this flick?

Robin Morse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robin Morse.

 

Thanks.

 

And as I recall, the comic I was thinking of was named somethin' like John (snapping my fingers in order to help conjure up his last name) something beginning with a "B", I think.

 

(...doubt we'll come up with it, though...doncha hate when this happens?!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks.

 

And as I recall, the comic I was thinking of was named somethin' like John (snapping my fingers in order to help conjure up his last name) something beginning with a "B", I think.

 

(...doubt we'll come up with it, though...doncha hate when this happens?!)

John Byner?  John Dehner?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

John Byner?  John Dehner?

 

Nope, sorry, neither of them Doug...though wasn't John Dehner's stand-up routines always a laugh riot?! 

 

John+Dehner.jpg

 

(...sorry, couldn't resist) ;)

 

Nope, the comic I'm thinking of here's last name was one o' them there "eye-talian" kind'a names, and I'm pretty sure started with the letter "B".

 

Somethin' like "Bartolucci" or somethin'.

 

(...you realize of course that THIS has now become a QUEST!!!) ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rich, you are quite adept with captions. I worry you might make an appearance over in the caption thread in Games and Trivia. I fear you would put us all quite to shame. But I secretly wish you would come over there once in awhile.

 

PS Ruth Buzzi has a nice derriere.

:wub:

////

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...

Joy Ride  (1958)

Directed by Edward Bernds

 

If you are willing to believe that 60-year-old Regis Toomey drives a T-Bird, then you will actually enjoy this quickie flick.

 

Toomey calls the cops after he spots some hooligans ogling his set of wheels. The cops take down a few details, and tell him to forget about it. Toomey puts a padlock on his garage door. This kills about eight minutes of film. Later, at the local hangout, we meet the bunch of losers, headed by James Westmoreland. They sit around and make comments about a waitress, and think up stuff to do. Westmoreland decides it would be fun to take Toomey’s T-Bird for a spin. So they decide to pay Toomey another visit. Toomey confronts the shadowy figures and threatens them with his finger. They threaten him back by lighting cigarettes. They take off, and Toomey calls the cops again. Detective Roy Engel investigates by shining his flashlight towards the sky. Yes, that’s the first place I’d look for the culprits.

 

Westmoreland now decides he likes scaring Toomey, so one of his gang throws a rock with a note attached through Toomey’s window, where it is retrieved by Toomey’s wife (Ann Doran). Engel returns to the crime scene and reads the note, which tells Toomey to leave his car outside, with the keys, or he’ll be sorry. In typical Hollywood police fashion, Engel tells Toomey to use the car as bait, promising there will be s squad car nearby to nab the gang. Sure enough, two guys show up and get in the car. The police swarm in. Unfortunately, the two kids are Toomey’s neighbors, who only wanted to park the car in the garage for him.

 

Toomey finds a matchbook for Sal’s Malt Shop on his driveway, and, in typical Hollywood non-police fashion, pays a visit to the joint, hoping to spot the gang members. Westmoreland spots Toomey and politely asks if he can offer some help. Toomey is too stupid to realize who Westmoreland is, and leaves. Westmoreland gets Toomey’s phone number and starts calling him. Toomey paces the floor and Doran is ready to crap her pants. So they get police protection. But in that rare screen moment when no cops are around, one of the gang rings the doorbell and tells Doran he is giving away free soap samples. (Doran apparently never saw the Candygram sketch on SNL.) The four crumbs burst in, trash the joint looking for a spare set of keys to the T-Bird, and Doran collapses after watching them do their non-acting. Now Toomey is really PO’d, and, in typical Hollywood take-the-law-into-your-own-hands-because-the-cops-are-useless fashion, devises a plan.

 

Westmoreland calls Toomey at the hospital, and this time, Toomey agrees to give him the car. When they meet, Toomey pulls out his gun (everybody had guns back then) and forces Westmoreland to drive onto the freeway. With the T-Bird up to around 120 mph, Toomey gets Westmoreland to yell that he is scared, yellow, and a chicken. Toomey turns Westmoreland over to the cops, and in typical Hollywood bleeding-heart-liberal fashion, asks that the charges against the other three be reduced from felonies to misdemeanors.

 

Toomey is pretty good when he gets angry. Doran is pretty good when she is scared s***less. Westmoreland is pretty good when he’s not on screen.

 

 

 

 

 

This chick may have discovered a new way to make her jukebox selections.

h0JSTLW.png

 

 

 

 

Ann Doran reads the script, but still decides to make the film.

FNLo1mv.png

 

 

 

 

This is what a police interrogation looks like during an earthquake.

oLjZwde.png

 

 

 

 

The guy on the right was nabbed for impersonating John Travolta.

DIobury.png

 

 

 

 

A short-lived ‘50s fad – hula hoop steering wheels.

luuMtX1.png

 

 

 

 

This guy is either dead or enjoying himself immensely.

j4zaaiB.png

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

The guy on the right was nabbed for impersonating John Travolta.

Untitled6_zpsraepwhfe.png

 

 

Then I assume the guy on the left was ALSO nabbed for HIS impersonation of Jethro Bodine, eh Rich?! ;)

 

(...once again, a clever and entertaining "review" here, sir...sure wish they weren't so long between installments) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

© 2022 Turner Classic Movies Inc. All Rights Reserved Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Settings
×
×
  • Create New...