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Destroy this movie!


Guest son, jery

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Guest son, jery

Here's your chance to pulverzie movie experiences that left you wanting to do more than mutter: "What the hell happened!" This topic was inspired by my sitting through one of history's worst cinematic jokes: THE SWARM. Made in l978,it starred every Hollywood has been around. The "monster bees" were actually beautiful little honey bees. Those that attacked the swirling, shrieking stars were actually corn flakes thrown in front of a wind machine. Most unforgettable scene: a bee crawls up Olvia DeHavilland's nose! Come on and let it all out. From the Ritz Brothers bombs to HEAVEN'S GATE to Madonna's hideous EVITA. Put'em down. Or you'll be forced to watch THE SWARM as a double-feature with BEYOND THE POSEIDEN ADVENTURE!

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Guest cooper, jeane

Perfect timing! I saw bits and pieces of this clunker this morning. "Bererk" Joan Crawford owns a small traveling circus with a murder on the loose. Okay, she looked good in the leotard/ring mistress' outfit - BUT the sexual pairing of the then 60-something Crawford with a much younger man was ridiculous - even with her strawberry blonde fall. Same for "Trog" another Crawford comedown of her later career. And let's not forget the two classic 70's stinker roo's of Ray Milland. "Frogs" and "The Thing with Two Heads" I hope, at least, their salaries were good.

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Guest K, Sandy

Destroy THE GAME starring Michael Douglas. An implausible, overblown, annoying piece of junk! Someone is messing with Michael-trashing his beautiful house, shooting at him, etc. Finally, he can't take anymore and tries to jump off of roof and end it all. He falls through a glass roof and lands smack in the middle of his birthday party! See, it was all a GAME!-purchased by his brother Sean Penn to make him feel more alive! WHAT!? Sorry to spoil the end of the movie for folks who haven't seen it, but believe me, you should be grateful that I scared you off. The most incredible thing about THE GAME is that the group of friends that I was with actually liked it. I think the fizz in their Coca-Cola must've knocked them loopy for a couple of hours. I hate this movie more than any other.

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Guest cooper, jeane

Amen Sandy! I saw this rotten flick on cablem while sick with the flu, and it just kept going on and on - like a demented Energizer Bunny. I first thought it was my fevered condition - then it dawned on me. "The Game" was Hollywoood's way to make the movie patrons lose and them win!

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Guest Morrison, Karen

Thank you Sandy for this post!!!!!!!! I just saw this film & thank God (literally) that I borrowed it out from the public library so it was free. I enjoyed the film up until the end. I can't believe Douglas's character in this film! I would have shot Pen myself with a real gun once I discovered the whole thing was a hoax! What I still don't get is why did he ask that woman out?! Even though it was a game, that drug they gave him was real & so was that coffin they buried him in! I would have loved to re-write this film because in my version, Penn would have been killed. I also would have set up that organization as the real McCoy. I hate this film because its a real let-down at the end. You feel played with. Thank God for the film "Enemy of the State" where there is a real enemy & conspiracy. Next script Douglas looks at, he needs to consult with us first!

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Guest Morrison, Karen

Here's a film to add to the list: Dr. Fautaus I saw the film a few weeks ago & asked myself why? For starters, it seems that everyone in this film is high on LSD. Secondly, the plot seems to take is sweet time. Turtles move faster than that! Elizabeth Tailor seems to be in a purple haze & way to much make-up. Now I see why she looks so old. Its not just from aging but its also from the make-up she wore in this film! This film is so bad I fell asleep on it & don't regret it.

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Guest Morrison, Karen

To add to the my other post, here's two more films I want to add to the list: A Midsummer's Night Dream (1930's version) Secret Ceremony "A Midsummer's Night Dream" is a nightmare! The plot makes no sense at all. Poor James Cagey is forced to overact and Mickey looney(oops I mean Rooney or was the first one correct?) is reduced to running around half-naked screaming & sounding like a donkey. I feel asleep on this one, too. Thank God for sleep. My next enter on this list is "Secret Ceremony" with Elizabeth Taylor, Robert Mitchum & Mia Farrow. This film's plot is one of the strangest plots ever. Tailor plays a prostitute that favors Mia's dead mother. Mia invites this woman to her where she proceeds to substitute her into her mother while Taylor tries to live off Mia like a parasite. Mia has Taylor thinking she's a teenager when in fact Mia is in her twenties! We don't know why Mia tells this lie nor do we know how her mother really died. Plus, what does Mitchum really see in Mia anyway? The ending doesn't even make sense. This is one Secret Ceremony that I would rather miss.

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That includes ALL of the sequels (save Godzilla vs. Smog Monster... so unintentionally funny!) and that overhyped, overbudgeted remake of 1998. I'm still waiting to get my money back on that one...

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Am I alone in this mad world but does anyone else out there feel that "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" (1963) is without a doubt the WORST attempt at comedy in the history of the Western world? First of all, they kill off poor Jimmy Durante at the beginning of the picture, giving us the only good laugh in the entire film: Durante literally kicks the bucket! Then we are subjected to almost 3 hours of overacting, mugging, great comedians trying to upstage everyone (even when they have a solo shot), lame jokes, cameos (some good, some bad) and deliberately putting people in harms way in an attempt to be funny. When I first saw this film, I was 9 years old and I did laugh. The next time I saw this film, I was 15 and didn't find anything funny. Every three years or so after, I have attempted to sit down with an open mind and watch it beginning to end. However, I get about 45 minutes into the film and MUST shut it off... it's that painful. This is a film that made AFI's 100 Greatest Comedies... am I missing something? Why am I in favor of gathering all the copies of this film and shooting them into space? Perhaps not... it might cause an invasion! Does anyone agree?

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Guest Dentata, Gina

I saw that! Is it just me, or was there a weird lesbian subtext to that movie? You're right, it is awful, but it was fascinatin' like a train wreck. It has one of my favorite lines, though. When one of Mia's keepers tells Liz how old she is, and Liz looks surprised, the keeper says, all matter-of-fact-like: "Crazy people never look their age."

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Guest K, Sandy

Oh, I'm so glad that there are others out there that understand my contempt for THE GAME! Well, maybe not glad, exactly, because you also had the hideous experience of watching it, but affirmed in my hatred of this film! You're so right-the audience is played for a sucker. But I guess that's all in THE GAME, so to speak. I also had NO idea why he hooked up with the woman! To further the ludicrous plot, I guess. Why would two good actors like Douglas and Penn choose to be in a movie this bad?

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Guest K, Sandy

Rob, I've only seen bits and pieces of IT'S A MAD, MAD..I did not like the ending, though, where everyone chases Spencer Tracy through an old building and then they all end up hanging off a crane. The whole time I kept thinking how old Tracy was-why were they making the poor guy run up and down ten flights of stairs? I expected him to literally keel over at any moment. I wouldn't actually DESTROY this movie, but I agree that it's not that funny when you factor in the amount of laughs(a few)against the ungodly running time (3 hours or so).

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Guest K, Sandy

Ok, I know I'm replying to myself here, but I have a few more thoughts about your MAD, MAD post, Rob. WHY OH WHY are you subjecting yourself to the misery of watching this movie? Even 45 minutes of it? My fiance has a similar problem with the film BLUES BROTHERS 2000. One time he was watching it on tv and I sat down to watch it, too. We actually had a pretty good time making fun of it, but he just kept saying how BAD it was. Then when it was over, he tells me that he's seen it 3 or 4 times! WHY do you keep watching it?! I asked him. His response: Because it's just so BAD, it fascinates me! Plus, it features bandleader Paul Shaffer doing the worst Cajun accent ever!

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Guest mongo

Gee I didn't think "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" was that bad. There were many laughs in it for me and all those stars poppin' in and out of the picture were fun. I especially got a kick out of Ethel Merman and Mickey Rooney although Durante always kills me even if he just stands there. Alas Spencer Tracy looked ill at ease probably because he wasn't well. NO! It wasn't because he was in this movie.

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Guest Razzberry54

Loosely Based remake Rat Race this year was a stinka roo also Congo. I like Mad Mad World very much especially Jonathan Winters in the Gas Station going crazy.

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Why try to watch this film? I'm still trying to figure that out... Maybe it's because deep down, I want to like the film. I laughed when I was a kid, so why not now? Maybe it's because people react strongly when I tell them I hate this movie. Maybe it's because watching this film is like watching an accident scene; you don't want to watch but curiousity wins over and you're compelled to do so. I've had friends tell me "You have to see the restored version". Yeah, them adding yet another 1/2 hour of footage will REALLY make me want to watch it NOW! Tonight, June 3, 2002 at 11 PM EST, TCM will be showing "Mad x 4 World". I will tape it and on my next day off try to watch it again. If I'm alive afterwards, I'll report my findings... As for Blues Brothers 2000, I went to see it on the night it opened and sat for 90 minutes trying to find a plot amongst all the musical numbers. And why they didn't include the James Brown number they tacked on at the end of the film is beyond me... This coming from a kid who lived near the mall that was demolished in the original Blues Brothers movie and who watched the Bluesmobile crash thru JCPenney's window 3 times the night they filmed it!

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Guest K, Sandy

That's a great movie memory, Rob! But how could they film the car crashing through the window 3 times? Seems like that would have to be one take! Or 3 different windows, which I suppose is what you meant. I also question the James Brown number in BB2000-why was it tacked on at the end, when the James Brown sequence in the original BB was one of the best parts of the movie? Anyway, BB2000-probably worth buying the soundtrack for the great music, but I agree with you that the plot was pretty thin.

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Guest K, Sandy

Here's another movie that I want destroyed: THE WAR OF THE ROSES. I know that there will be people out there who will cry, "But it's a great black comedy!" This film is just nasty to the core. Watching Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas (who were great together in ROMANCING THE STONE) turn into bitter, selfish, nasty people is not my idea of funny. I especially hate the end when Turner's character is so filled with hatred for Douglas that she won't touch his outstretched hand. I know that if she did, it would violate the whole nasty tone that had been established, blah, blah, blah. Just couldn't find anything to like about this movie.

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Guest son, jery

Cecil B. DeMille's overblown, cartoonish "The Ten Commandments" is a mess I always watch on TV just to see how bad it gets over the years. I love the old-fashioned way DeMille has his heroines fall to their knees and grasp the thighs of Yul Brynner, Charleston Heston. The colors are like a child's Crayola set. The same can be said for William Wyler's horrible "Ben Hur." But--that's another long message.

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Guest walker, ken

jery son, I,m glad to see someone put these two epics in their proper places.To me ,the special effects in both films are dated by today's standards.The chariot race,directed by former Republic Pictures great stuntman,Yakima Canutt is great film making,but take that out,all thats left is a standard epic.Same with "Ten Commandments".As always these are my opinions only! Give me the originals any time.

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"The Ten Commandments" contains probably one of the most inane lines of dialogue for a DeMille film, spoken by Nefertiri (Anne Baxter) to Moses (Charlton Heston): "Moses, you stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!"

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My brothers and I were hustled to a corner of the parking lot when we arrived at 6 PM. We watched and waited for nearly an hour when they yelled "action" and the car jumped thru the window. However, someone wanted another take for some reason and they set up the stunt again. We waited in 30 degree cold for another 1 1/2 hours inbetween take 1 and 2... and 10 degree cold for another 1 1/2 hours between take 2 and 3. Around 10:30 PM, they shut the set down and my brothers and I went home. Later that summer when the movie came out (1980), we watched for the scene we witnessed and it was on the screen for less than 7 seconds... 22 years later, I'm still thawing out!

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