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Your Thoughts About Forum Flamewars


Guest TCMWebAdmin

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New Kellogg's Apple Jacks

"Apple Good" - (what does that mean?) for breakfast or snacks

Cinnamon flavour, ...........( can't remember the line)

A bowl a day keeps the Bullies away !

 

Guess I wasn't the only one who thought of that cereal while reading this thread.

 

So, evidently, the solution is for each and every one of us to consume a bowl of Apple Jacks a day, and everything will be all right.

 

...but do they still make them?

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I've decided that this matter is serious enough to explore further , and to that end ( nothing to do with G.B.) have hereby included a link to an entire article about the cereal in question:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Jacks

 

I recommend that everyone read this, preferably while consuming a bowl of the aforesaid cereal.

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Thank you, db. How could I have forgotten such a memorable lyric?

 

Here's what I was looking for:

 

 

 

( Is this derailing the thread? Are we in trouble, WEbAdminModerator?)

 

I should be watching *Monkey Business*; it's on in the background. I'm going to give it my full attention , right now.

 

Edited by: misswonderly on Sep 11, 2012 8:29 PM

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Trolls are the internet bullies of today. They're out to get a gut reaction of hurt or fear, not agreement or discussion. They don't reply with a just statement to support their point, but to add insult and intimidate the other person.

 

How best to deal with an internet troll? I don't have an answer for that one. I am grateful the Admin is here. Being the ump is not always fun, I'm sure.

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I remember real flesh and blood bullies from high school. A lot more was

hurt than your feelings. So I don't regard internet bullies all that seriously.

Sticks and stones, etc. Bullies can turn into a term like trolls--somewhat

ambiguous and used for activities that might be far from actual bullying or

trolling.

 

 

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Bullies and Trolls are, in my opinion, two different species.

 

*Trolls*

Trolls start threads, or derail them, with generally intential, outrageous and malicious posts written to anger or offend in order to get people to respond irrationally. I don't think we have, currently at least, any geniuine trolls. Trolls take pleasure in making you mad enough to respond.If they get banned, they come back again. Trolls *only* go away for good when no one takes their bait.

 

 

I think we have several users whose comprehension of internet etiquette isn't very good, and so they wind up posting in a way that gets them classified as trolls by some.

 

 

*Bullies*

Bullies attempt to belittle, embarrass or humiliate in posts responding to other forum users. Bullies are always otherwise active members of the community who feel entitled to comment maliciously about other users and their posts. In my estimation, we have several users who fit this bill, and I'll bet few of them realize they're perceived as such. Some of them rationalize that they are simply responding in kind. Others think they have a duty of some sort to "protect" others. Sarcasm, an obscure reference or an inside joke is often misconstrued as something malicious, even when the poster isn't trying to mean-spirited.

 

 

What this means, to me at least, is that we all have to think twice before taking offense to something written in response or to us. Bullies, as we all knew from school, do have some power over us, usually physical. But here? No one has power over you. No one can really hurt you. Unless you give it out yourself, no one has any access to your personal information.

 

 

*Solutions*

I can't do anything about trolls. If they're having fun, being banned won't stop them from coming back under a different screen name. Only *you* can stop trolls, and that's by *ignoring* them. You do not have to respond and tell them they're a troll - when you do, they win.

 

 

Bullies are a bit harder to deal with. We all can probably be called bullies at one time or another, even when we mean nothing malicious at all. Which is why the absolute best solution is to always respond as if you didn't notice. Threads get locked and people get post-moderation because they get caught up in a cycle of responding to real or perceived bullying with real or perceived malicious intent.

 

 

If you think a response to you crosses the line, stand up for yourself in response, and let them know, *politely*, you think they've crossed the line. Do not respond in kind. And don't jump into a thread to defend someone else - you're not the police. I am.

 

 

If someone truly is making your experience here miserable, let me know and I'll deal with the situation. If you choose to deal with them yourself first, I'm not going to have much sympathy when you start calling them a bully later: No one gets a pass because someone else "started it."

 

*Full Disclosure*

I first went online in 1983, calling into dial-up bulletin board systems. In the 29 years since, I've been both a troll and a deliberate bully. I usually felt justified in doing so at the time. Also, I am Kaiser Sose.

 

Edited by: TCMWebAdmin on Sep 12, 2012 7:11 AM

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I'd love to say "Bravo, Michael" for your post, but it's not my intention to give the impression of trying to gain favor or claiming some sort of moral high ground.

 

Instead, I will say that it has caused me to seriously ponder my own behavior here and for whatever transgression(s) I may have been a part of, I will be vigilant in trying to not repeat them.

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TCMWebAdmin, I know the whole point of this thread is for us to clearly and politely discuss the problem of bad behaviour on this website forum, and try to eradicate or at least diminish it. So I am very aware of, and slightly uncomfortable with, what I am about to say. The last thing I want is for such a trivial matter, originating in a joke, to "escalate", especially on this of all threads.

 

But, really, can the person who responded to finance's comment about raisin bran be serious? It's so obvious he was joking, and joking in a way that could not possibly offend anyone. He was just responding to the silly but fun cereal/Apple Jacks conversation that emerged yesterday.

 

 

So, I think the person who requested that his post be deleted must have been joking herself. But, as is the problem with internet communication, it is not altogether clear that she is (joking, that is.)

Guess that's why so many people use the "smiley" emoticom, although even that can be and has been used sarcastically.

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> {quote:title=misswonderly wrote:}{quote}

> But, really, can the person who responded to finance's comment about raisin bran be serious? It's so obvious he was joking, and joking in a way that could not possibly offend anyone. He was just responding to the silly but fun cereal/Apple Jacks conversation that emerged yesterday.

It was obvious to me the Raisin Bran comment was humor...I found it funny. :D

 

I see no reason for it to be deleted or how anyone could POSSIBLY find it offensive. :P

 

 

Raisin Bran also has much more fiber, which helps for regularity and puts you in a better mood. :^0

 

4111424992_6161f8196a_z.jpg?zz=1

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> {quote:title=misswonderly wrote:}{quote}

>

>

>

> So, I think the person who requested that his post be deleted must have been joking herself. But, as is the problem with internet communication, it is not altogether clear that she is (joking, that is.)

 

 

My dear Miss Wonderly, why don't you PM her yourself and find out? :P

 

Ooooops... Dang! Departed this message board a week ago and here I am posting again!! ;)

But not for long...

Still occasionally check Canadian schedule online and then have a quick look around website...

Anyway, TCM message board not what I expected or thought it was, so I disengaged.

No problems... There are many other places on the Internet besides TCM message board for discussing films. Not that TCM message board is any better or worse than anything else on Internet and not meant to offend.

No big deal and am sure all here enjoy things or they wouldn't remain here.

Just not my thang...

 

Seems to me that users have as many different reasons for using message board as there are brands of breakfast cereal... Some like movie trivia, some like having fun with movie actors and actresses (e.g. George Brent's you-know-what), some like a deeper discussion of what happens in the classic films that TCM airs, some like repartee that may have little to do with classic films and that goes off on its own tangent, etc....

When I first started posting regularly, it took me time to realize that not all on the message board were here for the same reason as moi...

So no big deal...

 

Best to ignore, and if you can't do that, always step back if something posted does bother you and try and figure out why it bothers you, before even thinking of replying... By that time, life has moved on and there's probably another thread that needs your attention, etc....

 

Anyway, best wishes to my friends Miss Wonderly and Willbefree25... :D

 

Ciao:)

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> {quote:title=TCMWebAdmin wrote:}{quote}I should have said this below, but I'm not trying to single anyone out in that previous post.

I thought that you handled that post quite well. I didn't feel singled out, but I did feel as if I may have ever been guilty of even just one transgression, then perhaps I should acknowledge it. I'm biased, so I may not be the best judge, so if I had ever offended anyone, I want them to know that your post has at least caused one person to be a bit introspective and mindful here on.

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Ah yes, insults under the guise of humor.

 

So many have done that so well here that it is accepted behavior.

 

All that was missing from the rot in hell comment was a smiley face.

 

It was obvious to me the Raisin Bran comment was humor...I found it funny. :D

 

I see no reason for it to be deleted or how anyone could POSSIBLY find it offensive. :P

 

Now there's a surprise. You mean like the above, mw? So funny, so transparent.

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Thank you, RM. As I said, I shall miss you.

 

When it comes to filth, I never joke. When I do joke, it's sarcasm and meant for those who have the brains to 'get' it. Lately, for the many who don't, I have included smiley faces, in sarcastic deference to those who think they can insult with abandon and a smiley face.

 

Sad fact is, they can. They can come here under a third and fourth id, and it's S/O, S/O. A member of the clique can tell posters to rot in hell and get away with it because his sycophants love him and those who are nicer than he think he is joking. He is NOT joking, mw.

 

Sad, what this board has become.

 

mw, more on this. How do you think finance's 'rot in hell' comment was a joke? Why is it funny? More to the point, when a board on flames is co-opted by cereal and cursing, why is it allowed? Especially when the original question from TCMAdmin was why certain posters, especially those in the clique and thrice named posters, are allowed to get away with filth like that?

 

So I can tell the morons who go on about George Brent to rot in hell? Am I joking? Is my comment funny? Is it funny now? :)

 

I'm serious. Moderator, why is that post allowed to stay?

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*why do you think you should be able to be rude, mean, cruel, flippant, disrespectful, etc. about other users?*

 

So that all those who are not laughing at the hilarity of finance will answer the questions in my post, I ask it again. So that TCMAdmin will address why finance's 'rot in hell' is allowed to stand, I ask it again.

 

mw, more on this. How do you think finance's 'rot in hell' comment was a joke? Why is it funny? More to the point, when a board on flames is co-opted by cereal and cursing, why is it allowed? Especially when the original question from TCMAdmin was why certain posters, especially those in the clique and thrice named posters, are allowed to get away with filth like that?

 

So I can tell the morons who go on about George Brent to rot in hell? Am I joking? Is my comment funny? Is it funny now? :)

 

I'm serious. Moderator, why is that post allowed to stay?

 

 

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> {quote:title=willbefree25 wrote:}{quote}

>

> mw, more on this. How do you think finance's 'rot in hell' comment was a joke? Why is it funny? More to the point, when a board on flames is co-opted by cereal and cursing, why is it allowed? Especially when the original question from TCMAdmin was why certain posters, especially those in the clique and thrice named posters, are allowed to get away with filth like that?

>

> So I can tell the morons who go on about George Brent to rot in hell? Am I joking? Is my comment funny? Is it funny now? :)

>

One could ask you the same thing: Why do you think it was NOT? ?:|

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