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The Women & The Philly Story- Should women overlook cheating?


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The message in George Cukor's The Women is clearly stated with "Reno is full of women who have their pride." The lesson is that a women should forgive trangression of her husband.

 

You can find that same message in The Philidelphia Story in the sub-story of Seth Lord. Mrs. Lord claims that she shouldn't have pushed her husband out because now all she is left with is her pride. And Seth Lord puts part of the blame on Tracy for his transgressions!

 

What do you all think? What of this message? Were they right? Were they right then but not now?

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Well, people do make mistakes. But every relationship has its different stories of cheating.

 

I don't think I would forgive. I forgive a man if he came to me and said he was in love with another woman and wanted to be with her, people fall out of love you know, I forgive that, then to just cheat and let me find out from others. But men want their cake and eat it to. Not only is you breaking a promise to me, your breaking one to God one your surely to pay. How can you ever trust again?

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I caught onto that myself too, that "Oh, he needs a young woman to feel young again, you can get your hair done and rearrange furniture, but a man needs a mistress" baloney. Sheer pathetic nonesense. I don't know who was behind those lines, but I'll geuss they weren't wearing a dress! I still love the movies, but those lines always evoke a little chuckle and a " yah, right!" from me.

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Oh no, I agree that the message does not alter my enjoyment of the movie.

 

But why are all these stories The Taming of The Schrew? not that the women are particularly mean, simply headstrong and indenpendent. Yet their indenpedence is threatening to their husband. The final message always being, don't live alone when you could have a man to hold you.

 

I guess maybe having a man is best, but I cannot get my heart around giving up your pride. I guess in the end, i choose pride. I guess I am not learning much from these movies.

 

 

I also agree that every situation is different. But were I Mrs. Steven Haynes in the movie The Women, i certainly wouldn't take Steven back unless he came to me. I could forgive, but it would have to be on my terms. After all, I was the one wronged.

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just movies.

 

Movies may reflect the times, but I don't take them so seriously that I would make life decisions based on what happened in the films.

 

Today, a film like "The Women" would be called a dramedy, as it has both comedy and dramatic elements, but even though I think author Clare Booth Luce was one smart cookie, and knew of women like this, still...it is just a movie.

 

And even Clare Booth Luce had her myopia, witness her quest to get the movie "Blackboard Jungle" withdrawn from the Venice Film Festival in fear that it would ruin America's image abroad. That is rather unrealistic, but it does not ruin my enjoyment of all the comedic touches in her play or the wonderfully funny "The Philadelphia Story".

 

Personally, though...I would have thrown Stephen back to Crystal.

 

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I hate to say it but women can be catty just like in The Women. When a man cheats everyone in the world knows but you but they sure patronize you about it. I wouldn't have gone back to Stephen unless he came to me. But the movie did show what goes around comes around. The same women who were gossiping were the same ones who's husband left them, they never thought it would happen to them.

 

Funny, when women get older they don't feel they need a younger man to feel young. Women seem to stay young in heart which keeps them young. Women can also change their hair, styles of clothes to feel younger to.

 

The movie also had another reality, that mistresses are only that, just a quick fling or thrill.

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Great topic!

I have to admit that the mother of Mary in "The Women" made me roll my eyes with her comments about the fact that "men will be men." Yuck! I also have to say that Joan Fontain's breathy, "poor is me" and "Oh, Johnny's" make my tummy turn! ha ha

 

Love seeing how people thought, dressed, talked etc. back then. Makes you really think about how much has changed in the past 50+ years.

 

Jennifer

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THANK YOU Melmac!

I thought maybe I "missed something" when I heard the father basically blame Tracey for his "cheatin' ways!"

 

I appreciate that I was hearing it correctly. I know everytime I see it, I think "the nerve!!!"

 

Jennifer

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In another movie, Dinner at Eight, a woman feels guilty about having sexual relations with John Barrymore and wants to tell the man she is going to marry. A wiser woman played by Marie Dressier tells her, that's your past, keep it there. Believe me, I know men and I know that he won't understand. Just a comic afterthought from a movie I laugh at every time I watch it.

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Has times really changed though? Back in those days, in the movies women may have forgived but in real life it wasn't happening, some of them were actually shocked at it, never thinking it could happen to them. I think the movies then tried to show what was really going on in society, showing it wasn't as innocent and pure as they thought. Today, it's like women expect their men to cheat and they stay with them, both cheat to get back at each other.

 

How's this for a double standard. If a woman cheats a man can't forgive but women are expected to forgive a man. You know men will be men but if a woman does it she's every bad name in the book.

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I think that times are different now. I mean now women can live lives that don't depend on a man. So we don't have to sit and take it if he decided to step out.

 

I know that women (and men) for that matter can be catty, but that is not what upsets me. It is simply that thousands of little girls grew up thinking that as women they were best to keep their heads down and their hands clean.

 

Mrs. Hayne does make a good point when her mother tells her that she should consider her child and she replies "one day, she'll understand that I had to."

 

We are so fortunate to grow up in a time where a relationship is a preference, not a necessity for life. We get to win our own bread and take care of ourselves no matter what happens!

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Let me just add one thing here.... I am NOT justifing cheating by ANYONE. One thing you ladies seem to forget. Any reasonably attractive woman can have all the sex she wants, so pure sex or temptation is ALMOST never the reason that a woman cheats. If it falls into a man's lap he may lose his common sense for a moment. Women are offered sex every day. The only guys who have THIS opportunity are Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Of course for all the talk of "equality" women are NEVER going to give up the power position of being the one who sorts the offers while men do all the chasing and take the rejection. No profound statement here ladies, just a talking point.

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Gee slappy- that was painfully true : )! In the movie " The Women" at least, Steven Haynes didn't have a momentary loss of " common sense", he was having an ongoing affair. If the mother's advice to Mary Haynes was in the context of a one night stand affair, I might be able to take it a bit better, but a long term love/sexual affair is a little too serious to keep quiet and not talk about. I don't think much has changed since the 30's though, same issues exist today, but more people head to Reno ( or their local Superior Court)without as much drama!

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Like tastefullymi said I roll my eyes during scenes like the one with Mary Hanes's Mother or Tracy Lord's father. Both of those films are still two of my favorites but I could definatly could have done with out those parts.

 

 

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Gee Slappy, I don't think you are being fair to women. We aren't offered sex everyday (even those of us who are reasonably attractive) and even if that were true, don't you think that constant temptation is just as difficult to resist as the rare temptation is?

 

I also would like to inform you that women don't corner the market on using sex for power. Maybe the movies make it look that way, but women go to pieces just as easily over an attractive man.

 

When it comes to sex and power, it isn't about gender, it is about having "it." Some do, and some don't.

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Melmac, women ARE offered sex every day, they just don't realize it :) But here's the reality: According to several sex surveys the group having the most sex: Male homosexuals. Next comes heterosexual couples. Dead last are female homosexuals. Left to their own devices, men just have a greater desire for sex. To argue otherwise just flies in the face of reality. If you want the straight dope, look at prostitution. Who's buying? Who's selling? Nothing like pure capitalism to cut through all the posturing!:D As for the constant temptation, lets take a hypothetical...A U.S. Mint worker is expected to control his/her self around the money. VERY few cases of theft. An officeworker or executive sees a way to embezzle funds. Not uncommon for THIS to happen. Basically what I'm saying is that women get very horney from time to time. Men get NOT horney, from time to time. And if men AREN'T horney, they take viagra!

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