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Flint and Matt Helm are really awful movies


WhyaDuck
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First, let me say that I'm glad TCM is showing something different tonight, which is always welcome to me.

 

but.......let me add that even though movies are pushing 50 years old, being old does not make them any better.

 

In the 60s there was James Bond, and then it was copied alot. A million variations of spy movies and TV shows tried to cash in......Watching Flint, at first it seemed funny, tongue in cheek and camp, at first. As the movie wears on, I can see that it just isn't as slick and funny as the start makes it look. A very stupid plot and movie and not all that funny. I really think they thought this was cool.....Then there is Dean Martin as the spy Matt Helm, and these things were always lousy, really bad.

 

So tonignts movies should never be considered Essentials, and being an old movie doesn't mean the movie is good. These movies stunk to high heaven when they came out in the 60s. I was amazed to see the paper give all these movies 3 stars. In the 60s these were 1 or 2 star movies and time hasn't increased their worth, in fact the opposite.

 

So for a 1960s leading man spy hero running around with girls in bikinis, all women stupid, and everybody including the President kissing the spy heros rear end, it is what it is.....Coburn as Flint to me is more funny than Dean, who I like, but not in these....and the TV Batman was camp.....but these movies go to long, and the camp turns to just bad writing.....all women are stupid and it's a 60s bikini go go dance time for the macho male spy star, only the movies are really bad.

 

Again, I'm glad they are showing something different, but please never call these Essentials.....these 50 year old 60s movies were and always will be B movies cashing in on Bond, and falling very short. It doesn't look like they spent as much money on these as Bond, so I'm sure the goal was to rake in as much drive-in movie money as possible.

 

There were very good movies in the 60s.....but Flint and Matt Helm are just Bond rip-offs and are drive-in material with How To Stuff A Wild Bikini, or Kissing Cousins....there was alot of bad movies in the 60s also, and these are pretty bad.

 

I will say Flint is funny talking to dolphins, laying across straight chairs, too busy for the President of the USA, and of course as he is in his jet and on another jet in the sky, woman stewardesses wave at him, of course thats so stupid it's funny....but unfortunatly the writers and director spend alot of the movies on plot, which is the mistake....Now Helm, thats just a Rat Pack Casino take on spy movies with Deano drinking and arms around the gals. Even though it was the don't trust anybody over 30 era, and Dean is too old and about as hip as Bob Hope dressing up like Ringo.....and the disco with the psycoldelic music but flashing picture of Sinatra ? ...but Dean almost makes it worth watching, but, the plot and the villians and other actors are just real bad. Of course Dean always gets the girl in bed and the bed drops them into a swimming pool for what they must have considered a groovy ending. At least it's the ending, which is good.

 

Edited by: WhyaDuck on May 20, 2013 10:22 PM

 

Edited by: WhyaDuck on May 20, 2013 11:39 PM

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I agree completely. Bond rip-offs who's foremost purpose was to cash in on the whole Bond-spy thing. A pity too. Why the heck couldn't Hollywood studios take the subject matter a little bit more seriously like Saltzman and Broccoli? instead, we have these Flint and Helm spoofs. Seriously, apart from some of the visuals and the hot 60s babes the Matt Helm movies are awful. I find absolutely nothing endearing or ever did about Helm's unrelenting libido on the brain mentality or his silly sexual innuendo cracks. All it ever was was stupid...and it still is. But all the babes in these films are nice to look at and I suppose are a redeeming characteristic. :D

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Yup, count me in on the Hatorade party too.

 

Tried watching Flint and it was so *dishwater dull* I couldn't make it thru the first fifteen minutes.

 

Watched almost all of The Silencers because I really like Dean Martin- who I'd put on *any* list of most underrated actors *any* time- and I kept hoping Victor Buono would show up more, and Dalia Lavi (did I spell that right? Who cares? She was fine as hell. ) And there were enough briefly funny-ish moments to keep one sort of kinda into it but overall, yeah...

 

Ick.

 

 

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Wow!

 

 

Everything said is true. Even back THEN, the main attractions of these chum buckets were the GIRLS. That's the reason me and my other hormone charged buddies went to see them. Over the years though, I travelled between wondering if they were intended to cash in on the making fun of the genre, or if they were trying to cash in on Coburn being kind of cool, and Martin's TV show being a big hit. Probably a bit of BOTH.

 

 

But if you thought THOSE two were bad, you should have stayed up late enough to catch *Dr. Goldfoot and The Bikini Machine* , a thoroughly BRAINLESS effort, starring VINCENT PRICE and FABIAN, of all people. With appearances by DWANE HICKMAN and FRANKIE AVALON. I saw this hunk of crud with a friend of mine when it was on the ticket with another movie we went to see. IT makes the Helm/Flint movies look OSCAR WORTHY in comparison!

 

 

Sepiatone

 

 

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Funny you should bring up seeing the Vinny Price movie back then Sepia, 'cause that reminds me of when this then 13 y/o kid here and his friend Dennis were all set to go see that flick until Dennis' mother told him that he was definitely NOT going to go see a movie which had all those scantily-clad women in it.

 

(...times, and what parents think is appropriate viewing for their kids, sure have changed since '65, haven't they?!) ;)

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Well, they were products of their times. I enjoyed them back then, but that appeal doesn't always last when we are older.

 

Two things occured to me while watching Murderers Row:

 

1. We've definitely come a long way from accepting somebody drinking while he is driving.

 

2. Was Karl Malden in every movie made in the 1960s?! (Of course, I know he wasn't...but so many films I have been seeing from the Sixties recently...there he is.)

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>2. Was Karl Malden in every movie made in the 1960s?! (Of course, I know he wasn't...but so many films I have been seeing from the Sixties recently...there he is.)

 

And then of course, just a short decade later he'd appear on every television set in America, TOO!

 

(...and if not as a San Francisco cop, then on those series of commercials where he'd advise you to NOT visit San Francisco or any OTHER locale on the planet without first stopping by your bank and exchanging your greenbacks for a certain company's Travelers Cheques!) ;)

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Too bad they never used Jerry Lewis as a villain in one of the Matt Helm films. That would have been as funny as hell, right up there with Woody Allen in Casino Royale. Imagine him as some power mad shlep yelling HEY LAAAADEEEE, trying to romance Ann Margret or Stella Stevens, and getting a disapproving look from Matt Helm (Dean), before he shoots him.

 

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At least Flint had some nice production values and a few funny bit. The Helm movies are really cinema crap- exploding trees?! The scene in which they drink and drive is really bizarre- did some one think that this was either funny or cool?

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> {quote:title=Sepiatone wrote:}{quote}

>

> But if you thought THOSE two were bad, you should have stayed up late enough to catch *Dr. Goldfoot and The Bikini Machine* , a thoroughly BRAINLESS effort, starring VINCENT PRICE and FABIAN, of all people. With appearances by DWANE HICKMAN and FRANKIE AVALON. I saw this hunk of crud with a friend of mine when it was on the ticket with another movie we went to see. IT makes the Helm/Flint movies look OSCAR WORTHY in comparison!

>

>

>

>

Just for the record, *Dr. Goldfoot and The Bikini Machine* features Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman while the sequel *Dr Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs* stars Fabian. All three aren't in one movie, we can thank our stars for that.

 

In the first film, Frankie plays Craig Gamble while Dwayne plays Todd Armstrong - not to be confused with the actor who played Jason in Jason and tha Argonauts. But when they teamed up again for *Ski Party*, Frankie played a character named Todd Armstrong and Dwayne played one named Craig Gamble.

 

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Oh yes, Dr Goodfoot and The Bikine Machines......I remember it shown on TV in 1966, but not a good channel, and off the wall local channel...it went right from the theatre to a week later on cable before there was cable.....a very bad UHF channel with alot of snow.......but I watched it as a kid in hopes it would be Bond like, it wasn't.......Man From Uncle, Secret Agent Man, Get Smart, I Spy, The Avengers.......at least she had the peek-a-boos.....( Laugh Ins Ruth Buzzie - They peeked, and they bood )

 

Goodfoot, Flint, Helm.....These things never made Sunday Night or Saturday Night Movie, which was big on ABC or NBC in the 60s.....These bombs went straight from the theatre to the late, late, late, late, late show.....

 

Oh yes, Dean drinking a 5th of Ballentine Scoth and then pulling out a flask of booze after, alone, driving, how cool.....or should I say, Scooby, ****, ****.....

 

I like Dean on TV.....and his TV show was good......but I was glad the world didn't depend on Dean and his fifth of booze while driving, this spy couldn't catch a cold. .....Unless it was a cold glass of booze ........and I loved how Karl Malden didn't know he was Matt Helm until the end of the movie.....not one of Maldens better films......and Ann Margert doing the Birdie Dance over and over...How Hot ?????.......Bob Hope dressed up like The Fonzie was the only thing missing.

 

My point is these clunkers were never on Sunday Night Movie in the 60s.....they went straight from the theatre to being on the late, late show in a few weeks......so don't forget that.....it's kind of important.

 

Yes, there were times I wished it was Jerry, even playing it straight....which may have been even more funny.......but the plots of these things were bad....watching it, I thought Dean was funny, but Malden and that voice was just a bad Golfinger rip-off. Ann is pretty corney....Dean almost pulls it off....It should have been a Martin and Lewis, it might have saved this turkey.....Lewis should have had the Malden part, trying to kill Dean.

 

Edited by: WhyaDuck on May 21, 2013 10:41 PM

 

Edited by: WhyaDuck on May 21, 2013 10:57 PM

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> {quote:title=WhyaDuck wrote:}{quote}

>

> Goodfoot, Flint, Helm.....These things never made Sunday Night or Saturday Night Movie, which was big on ABC or NBC in the 60s.....These bombs went straight from the theatre to the late, late, late, late, late show.....

>

>

>

> My point is these clunkers were never on Sunday Night Movie in the 60s.....they went straight from the theatre to being on the late, late show in a few weeks......so don't forget that.....it's kind of important.

>

> Edited by: WhyaDuck on May 21, 2013 10:41 PM

>

> Edited by: WhyaDuck on May 21, 2013 10:46 PM

Not quite. OUR MAN FLINT was on the ABC Sunday Night Movie in the Fall of 1969. I can't speak for the other Helm movies, but THE WRECKING CREW aired on the CBS Friday Movie in 1974.

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I'm sorry, but Flint and Helm were on the late, late, late, very late shows in the 60s soon after being at the theatre....now if they were shown later on Prime Time, well.......let TCM not let history repeat itself.....

 

although....like others...anything other than GIGI again is good......Thank heaven for little girls, and then the police drag the old perv off the school yard. Thank Heaven. ......I like Maurice, OK, don't make an issue.

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