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QUICKSAND.... a question for men (and ladies too) :)


FredCDobbs
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Say, fellas, while watching this movie, does it remind you of any time in your life where you got mixed up with some hot looking dame and you found yourself gradually being pulled into a quagmire or quicksand as you got deeper and deeper in debt and in trouble just by continuing to try to date her?

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>While I think the general premise may be relatable to many viewers, the way it is carried out in this film is extremely far-fetched.

 

Yes it is far-fetched, but I think it is symbolic of the way a lot of people get drawn into relationships that gradually become more and more complex, and more and more uncomfortable, and they can't seem to figure out how to get out of it. Like in that movie DETOUR, where the innocent guy gets sucked into a series of events that get worse and worse, especially after he pickes up that female hitch-hiker.

 

And of course, I imagine some ladies have had similar experiences with men who they first thought were cute and desirable, only to find out later that they are stuck in a very bad situation that is not easy to get out of.

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Fred, you've hit it, my man!!! I agree with you and can def relate!!!

 

Wow...yeah, from the outside, you're like watching the train wreck ahead, and going, Mick, Mick, watch out, dude...no, don't do that, noooooo! But when you're inside looking out, it's not always that clear, yanno?? I totally dig this flick! It's zany, crazy, Mick is outta control and getting caught in that inevitable downward spiral, Peter Lorre is deliciously slimy and nasty, and man...well, it's a rockin' flick! There are def some elements that defy the laws of gravity and realism, but still it's interesting enough to hold my attention for sure!!!

 

 

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Relationships are a reflection of what we are attracted to, as well as our maturity level, problems, needs, strengths and deficiencies. They are also a life long process of sometimes painful self discovery and learning. Going from one disaster to another constitutes a personal history and pattern, for which the individual needs to look at themselves instead of always blaming the other or the opposite sex.

 

Mentioning the movie *Detour(1945)* was a good film example! The woman was clearly no good, but then the man himself had some weaknesses and problems.

 

 

 

 

 

speakthelma.gif

 

 

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>Relationships are a reflection of what we are attracted to, as well as our maturity level, problems, needs, strengths and deficiencies. They are also a life long process of sometimes painful self discovery and learning. Going from one disaster to another constitutes a personal history and pattern, for which the individual needs to look at themselves instead of always blaming the other or the opposite sex.

 

Yeah, I'll agree with most of that. I'll freely admit it. A lot of it is my fault. But I've never been "dangerous" for any dame to date, while I have found myself dating "dangerous" dames every now and then.

 

I think maybe I fall for the overall look, the makeup, the tight dress, the smiling face and winking eyes, then my daydreams start. I won't go into any details about that except that in every daydream, it runs along the lines of a hot pre-code movie. :)

 

reddust7.jpg

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> {quote:title=FredCDobbs wrote:}{quote}Say, fellas, while watching this movie, does it remind you of any time in your life where you got mixed up with some hot looking dame and you found yourself gradually being pulled into a quagmire or quicksand as you got deeper and deeper in debt and in trouble just by continuing to try to date her?

Yea, her name was Paula and the year was 1980. I was a lonely idiot and she put me through the wringer well and then moved on to her next lonely victim. Looking back now I kinda feel sorry for her and her fragile total lack of self esteem that drove her to have to attract every man in sight to prop her fragile psyche up.

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Well I can see where the Mick might have a little more trouble with

quicksand than other folks.

 

I saw this one a year or so ago. Not bad and Mickey does have that

little guy sparkplug energy that is fun to watch. I found it pretty enter-

taining. I recall one long shot where Mickey is walking besides Jeanne

Cagney and he almost looks like her son.

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If only he hadn't decided to borrow that money from the cash register. ( Notice I didn't put "borrow" in quotation marks, because I believe he sincerely intended to pay it back. So in his mind it wasn't stealing.)

That's how it all began. A relatively minor misdemeanour that could have been fixed, but it just gets worse and worse. All started so he could afford to take the babe on an expensive date.

 

If only he'd realized, the OTHER girl, the one who genuinely liked him and didn't care whether he had a lot of spending money or not, was the right one for him. She was pretty too, just not the glamourous type like the one he sinks into quicksand for.

(Of course, he does realize it in the end.)

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> {quote:title=markbeckuaf wrote:}{quote}

> from the outside, you're like watching the train wreck ahead, and going, Mick, Mick, watch out, dude...no, don't do that, noooooo! But when you're inside looking out, it's not always that clear, yanno??

 

I believe there is a strong "goat in Maud's eye" factor in all relationships.

 

There is a saying that: "love is blind" and that reason must be put aside because: "the heart wants what the heart wants" but I believe the desires expressed by the body parts more Southerly are often the cause of the worst disasters.

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> {quote:title=ThelmaTodd wrote:}{quote}

> The woman was clearly no good, but then the man himself had some weaknesses and problems.

 

I have always heard to avoid a thing if it is: "too good to be true". I believe this must be applied to relationships also. No person is perfect and if it appears that they have no faults or weaknesses then you must run away because either they are scamming you or your judgement about them is unreliable.

 

I am reminded of the man complaining: "I finally met Miss Right. It was not until we were married that I learned that her first name is: Always".

 

I believe the most wise course is to know your own weaknesses and foibles and problems and to be in a relationship only with a person who does not have the same weaknesses and whose foibles are not in conflict with your own and whose problems do not reinforce your own.

 

Such wisdom can be a source of great joy after you have fallen deeply in love with a person and then find by applying such a rule that your relationship has also a reasonable basis.

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Have to say I unfortunately missed the showing of "Quicksand" here Fred, but in the recent showing of "Detective Story", you may recall the kid who embezzles the money from his boss and who the intolerant Kirk Douglas character refuses to give a break, was prompted to his crime by such a situation as this.

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Yeah, well, as I mentioned in another thread about Fred MacMurray's problem with Stanwyck in *Double Indemnity* , the old Yiddish proverb:

 

 

"When the putz gets hard, the brain gets SOFT!"

 

 

Sepiatone

 

 

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Oh, Sepia, LOL

Do people learn "sadder but wiser" from experience?

 

Oh dear, I have learned from experience, but some of the fellows I meet, nope. They still try with the same routine with the same type of gal, hoping for a different result. The number of men I've met who have been married and divorced twice or three times is enough for me.

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Two mentioned films on this thread *Detour (1945) and Double Indemnity (1944)*, furnish an important object lesson in relationships. Both films show the effects of a morally weak or compromised person being taken down by another person of far worse character.

 

Both films start off with average Joes who lived law abiding lives; in Detour it's a piano player in a nightclub who decides to hitchhike west, in Double Indemnity it's a man who lived a respectable if humdrum life as an insurance man. Circumstances force the protagonist in Detour to live a lie with false identity, which the femme fatale exploits and uses as leverage to take him on the path to ruin. In Double Indemnity it's Fred MacMurray's vulnerability to having an affair and involvement with a married woman, which opens him up to her charms- which then leads to conspiracy to commit insurance fraud and murder. One moral compromise leads to many an another, catalysed by the presence of a truly evil person.

 

Fans of Judge Judy may have heard her expound a "clean hands" doctrine from the law: the courts can not help a plaintiff who himself has broken the law, hence you have to come into court with clean hands, free of wrongdoing or illegal intent. Relationships require that one enter them with "clean hands", free of intentions of deceit and exploitation. If you yourself are weak, in the wrong or fleeing from the consequences of your past, then you open yourself up to a significant other who will help make the situation much worse!

 

 

Our moms used to tell us- careful who you mix with; avoid bad companions!

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>I'm reminded of my first girlfriend (we were 11) and the Bob Dylan lyrics that would resonate with me a few years later:"You start out standing, proud to steal her anything she sees" .

 

Yep, or as perhaps Joni Mitchell wrote in her song "You Turn Me On, I'm a Radio" in her great "Court and Spark" album...

 

"I know you don't like weak women

You get bored so quick

And you don't like strong women

'Cause they're hip to your tricks"

 

(...uh huh...there's always a little 'conundrum' one must answer for themselves while out their in the "Dating Game", isn't there!) ;)

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