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Things You Can Do In The Movies,But cant Do In Real Life.


ERROL23

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A six shooter never runs out of bullets.

Call a taxi and it always stops for you.

In a war movie,the enemy never hits the hero.

Your secretary is always a beauty.

In a Western theres never any horse manure in the streets.

Call someone on the phone and they always answer.

In a Film Noir the bad guy is fataly shot,but he tells the story before he dies.

Never tell about your girl or home in a war film,in the next scene your a dead duck.

In a Western a bad gang leader hires the best shooters around,but they cant hit the broad side of a barn.

See a girl in a bar and she always falls in love with you.(Sample,Out Of The Past)

You haven't changed your clothes for days or shaven,but your always clean.(Out Of The Past)

 

Edited by: ERROL23 on Feb 4, 2014 12:08 AM

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In a car chase scene,hop into the car,the car always starts up,plenty of gas,no red lights,traffic,or people crossing the street.

In a Western,the horse is always groomed.

Go into a restraint and your always waited on at once.

Never wait in line at a supermarket.

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Referring to a comedy short TCM aired a couple of weeks ago.

 

Drop a cast iron bath tub on a man's head from the 2nd floor and it splits into pieces. (I think that was Edgar Kennedy but not certain.)

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Poke, slap, smack, punch like the Three Stooges *without* causing bodily injury.

 

They_Stooge_to_Conga_net.jpg

 

squeeze.gif

 

Edited by: hamradio on Feb 4, 2014 12:47 AM

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With your buddy Clint, you seemingly kill half the WWII German Army that's shooting thousands and thousands of rounds your way, and yet ONLY receive a minor flesh wound to your hand for your troubles.

 

(...see the movie, "Where Eagles Dare" for further details) ;)

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Well, of COURSE I have, Ham!

 

(...didn't he play second base for the Washington Senators???...or was that "What"???) ;)

 

Yeah, I suppose it COULD have been possible for Burton and Eastwood to have had as much success in this regard as Audie did in real life...maybe......naaaah.

 

Ya see, in "To Hell and Back", Audie's situation and how he managed to get the drop on the Germans(and just like the more realistic "Sargent York" with Coop) is NOTHING like the fantasy war scenario Burton and Eastwood acted out!

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I love how in movies, when the leading characters, seemingly late for a particular event, always find parking in the front of the building.

 

The bad guys couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with machine guns; but our hero can hit them with one shot from a pistol.

 

A character can use the filmiest disguise (i.e. a moustache, or a hat and glasses) and nobody is the wiser until the moustache inevitably falls off.

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>A character can use the filmiest disguise (i.e. a moustache, or a hat and glasses) and nobody is the wiser until the moustache inevitably falls off.

 

Or just a pair of horn rimmed glasses in the case of a certain reporter for the Daily Planet newspaper. ;)

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Haha I know!

 

That Superman fella looks an awful like Clark... but... I dunno... he's not wearing those glasses, so it's really hard to tell...

 

Or when the kids put the wig and hat on ET as an effort to hide him from his mom. No big deal mom, it's just a little old lady...

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I also love in musicals when dancing/singing randomly breaks out in a scene and everyone in the scene knows the dance and song, even though moments before, they were just random people walking down the street (for example).

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I've noticed that when people travel in films, most of the time the person will have one small suitcase but will wear a variety of outfits with accessories. I don't know about any of you but I carry my toiletries in a similar sized bag. I need a larger case for clothes and shoes. Were these people shipping a trunk ahead of time?

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> I also love in musicals when dancing/singing randomly breaks out in a scene and everyone in the scene knows the dance and song, even though moments before, they were just random people walking down the street (for example).

 

A friend of mine and I used to poke fun of Elvis movies by describing a "typical" scene.

 

Elvis is lurching through the desert, dying of thirst. Suddenly, music pours out of the sky and Elvis reaches behind a cactus and pulls out a shiny, new Gibson Dove acoustic guitar and breaks into song.

 

Speaking of guitars, in real life, those who play them usually change their hand positions on the neck when the chords change.

 

How about when, in some musicals, someone singing in a nightclub sings a song in front of a five or six piece combo, and suddenly you can hear violins and a full horn section come in. Must be at the tables in the back or something.

 

Cowboys get blasted with .45 caliber slugs, and a bandana tied around it makes them able to function almost normally.

 

Nobody has "morning hair" or "morning breath".

 

Usually the soldier who talks about the big plans he has for when the war's over, or has the new bride or family to return to is the next one killed.

 

Cars that go airborne over hills or off inclines land fully intact with no discernable damage.

 

In some movies, average people seem to be able to hold their breath underwater longer than most Olympic swimmers can.

 

In movies there are some martial arts masters who seem to be able to run up the sides of trees as if suspended by wires! ;)

 

In movies you can get your butt kicked royally, but still be dumb enough to go back for more.

 

Or see enough people get THEIR butts kicked royally, but still charge in thinking YOU'RE the one who'll make a difference.

 

Sepiatone

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Travel to a foreign country (any foreign country) and everyone you encounter not only speaks perfect English; but also never seems to speak the native language of their country.

 

Go to bed with a full face of makeup on and not wake up with blemishes.

 

Flawless skin all the time. Unless you're a gangster (or another type villain), then you'll have a big scar and/or pock marks.

 

Hop in other people's cars and drive away (because the key is still in the ignition or under the seat) and not be arrested for theft.

 

Robin Hood (for example) can shoot arrow after arrow from his quiver and never runs out of arrows. Does he go back and retrieve the arrows from the dead?

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Simply pressing to deactivate an alarm system during the countdown to arm. (Bad Santa) Every system I've used requires one to re-enter the security code regardless.

 

By chance if any alarm is that simple to deactivate, I wouldn't deal with the company.

 

Edited by: hamradio on Feb 5, 2014 10:31 PM

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A twist to the thread topic, at the time of release "The Last Starfighter" (1984) had a *fictional* video game in the movie. You could not find an arcade game with the "Last Starfighter" name because of the limited computer power at the time. The game Alex Rogan played in the movie was only a prop.

 

Again, people can be inspired and *Rogue Synapse* made it for real. Took almost 30 years. :)

 

http://www.roguesynapse.com/games/last_starfighter.php

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In classic films, women wake up from a full night's sleep with hair perfectly done.

 

Kick a guy in the shoulder and he's knocked out.Punch a henchman one time and he's down for good. Yet, you can fight and fight and fight the arch enemy before you can subdue him.

 

When the enemy has a gun on you, he has to walk over close to you so you can knock it out of his hand. As if a gun's bullet can't reach across the room.

 

Of course in Noir films the crooks and detectives are impeccably dressed but, that's half the fun of watching the movie.

 

And I'm not sure why anyone bother's locking a door or a building or a safe. Anyone can whip out some tools and pick the lock in less than a minute. or press their ear to the dial and get the combination.

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