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Things You Can Do In The Movies,But cant Do In Real Life.


ERROL23

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Ah, c'mon now, Arturo. Even YOU could do THAT in a '47 Plymouth ragtop with "Three on the Tree"...'cause with a bench seat and no center console to block your easy ingress and egress, you should have no problem at all. ;)

 

Speakin' o' "egress"...Did you know that P.T. Barnum supposedly in efforts to keep the hordes of customers flowing through one-directional walking "Wonders of The World" exhibit inside his NYC Hippodrome, had a "This Way To The Egress" sign posted at the end of it, and which reportedly induced many of his customers thinking there was some exotic animal through the door marked as such, would soon find themselves standing outside his venue, not realizing that the word "Egress" and "Exit" are synonymous?

 

(...don't know if it's true of not, but I always liked this story, anyway)

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@hamradio: that leads to one itself. To drive full speed with no windshield, no passenger side door, no seat belts and just cruise along...yeah right !

 

You can get shot in the stomach, have internal and external bleeding and be able to run, fight, climb fire escapes as long as you grab your stomach every so often. And then just wrap it tightly with bandages and you're as good as new.

 

Everyone knows a secret doctor who can do complex surgeries in a back alley office and there are never any mistakes and you come out as if you were in a hospital. (Minority Report, Dark Passage ).

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In a POW Camp or Prison film,during an escape scene change uniforms with a guard and it always fits you perfectly.

if your a women in the old West(Maureen OHara,Rita Hayworth,etc)you always look like you left a beauty parlor.(Where do you find one 1oo miles from Nowhere?)

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When being chased by criminals, aliens or giant tarantulas, you can turn on any radio and immediately find YOUR story, no matter if isolated or remote!

 

Never music, commercial or national news, just the story YOU want to hear. I just saw THE BIRDS and when that happened to the charactor I thought of this thread.

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Ordinary humans like you and I probably can't: Jump up from the floor to table tops and do a tap dance. Run up a wall and do a back flip landing back on your feet. Step on the back of a sofa and have a safe soft landing. Doing all this without injury only if you were born a Gene Kelly or Donald O'Connor. If you can do these things why aren't you making movies?

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Solutions being way too convenient to save the day. i.e. having technology to save mankind from disaster.

 

Couple examples, In "Armageddon" (1998), huge Texas size asteroid heads our way and tada, 2 armored space shuttles ready to fly, destroy asteroid and return. In real life, why were they built to begin with and why the secrecy? While on the asteroid, it fires up the engines, uhhh - the space shuttle does not have internal fuel supply!

 

2nd example, the docu-drama "Evacuate Earth" (2012), mankind faces extention, builds HUGE space ark and in final days of construction, telescopes finds a new home. 100 years later, all is well and arrive to begin again. In real life will that explosive nuclear engine work WITHOUT testing? That technological wonder expected to last a century without huge breakdown like life support? What happens if no new home is found? Ask for refund on ticket?

 

Even if planet is found, the huge massive Ship of Fools arrives 100 years later at *1/10 the speed of light* and suddenly realize, they forgot something....BRAKES!!

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> When being chased by criminals, aliens or giant tarantulas, you can turn on any radio and immediately find YOUR story, no matter if isolated or remote!

 

 

Add to that the idea that newspapers will print, with GIANT HEADLINES, the saga of your story no matter how really unnewsworthy it is:

 

INDIANA GIRL NEW HOPSCOTCH SENSATION

 

ZIEGFELD TO FEATURE HOPSCOTCH STAR

 

HOPSCOTCH QUEEN CAUGHT FEEDING HOMEWORK TO DOG

 

HOPSCOTCH QUEEN SPRAINS ANKLE; MIGHT NOT MAKE FINALS

 

Sepiatone

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Being able to hack into any computer without any problems

(If an organization's computers have such lax security, they deserve to be hacked, IMO) Along these lines, notice how LOUD movie keyboards are?

 

I concur with the having the perfect white teeth no matter the era. Westerns always come to mind, I love Dodge City, but I find it unrealistic that a cowboy like Errol Flynn would have such perfect teeth, or look that perfect in general. Seeing that there was only one bathtub between Dodge City and Chicago, you'd think most everyone would look a little worse for the wear.

 

When needing to make a quick getaway, the car never starts up right away. Our hero tries and tries to get the car started, and it usually starts up right in the knick of time.

 

Running through an airport, through a bus station, train station, etc and managing to stop someone (usually one's true love that they didn't know was their true love until about 10 minutes before someone leaves their life forever!) just before they board, and actually have that person give up all their plans for that person.

 

Someone, who is definitely not a biker (for example), walks into a biker bar, unnoticed, only to have the record on the jukebox scratch and all the bikers turn around and see the "outsider."

 

And of course, post-coitus, the woman always has the sheet pulled up over her breasts and the man has the other side of the sheet only around his waist. I feel you either both have the sheet pulled up or you both don't. Can't see when this uneven sheet business would ever happen.

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> notice how LOUD movie keyboards are?

 

 

LOL...Yeah. And how FAST their servers are? How about those computer geeks who work a PC like magic WITHOUT using a mouse? And also those high-pitched "tweeting" noises they make when putting the info on the monitor that NO COMPUTER I know of EVER does?

 

Yeah, the "sheet cover up" thing gets me, too. Might be too much info, but in my experience, the sheet is usually nowhere to be FOUND afterwards. At any rate, considering what they just got done with, covering up seems kind of silly. And lately what I see is that "post coitus" in many movies today, both the man and woman are STILL wearing T-SHIRTS! Even DURING!

 

Sepiatone

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>When someone is shot, not only is there no blood; but no bullet hole either!

 

Sorry speedy, but THAT'S pretty much an anachronism anymore, isn't IT?!

 

(...watched any movies made since, say, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway bought the farm in that '32 Ford V8???) ;)

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