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ERROL23

Things You Can Do In The Movies,But cant Do In Real Life.

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In a John Wayne western,go for days without a shave,but never need one.

Have a fight in an apartment and make plenty of noise,but no neighbors hear you or call the police.

Speed through a city in your car,but theres never a police car around.

If you escape from a prison and the police shoot your gas tank your miles away before the gas runs out.

 

Edited by: ERROL23 on Feb 13, 2014 11:15 PM

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Spank your kid and no one calls the police or CPS even in a court of law.

 

spanking.jpg

 

 

Spank a grown woman and don't get arrested for assault. (Spanking Madonna don't count)

 

20091228-144646-pic-323337670_t607.jpg

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Very true, Ham.

 

However, and as I'm sure you know, it's NEVER been acceptable in movies at ANY time to show someone "spanking the monkey"!

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Hold a filibuster on the Senate floor for 3 days straight thus convincing the crooked politician to admit his wrongdoings

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Ah, but that was back in the GOOD old days, when politicians didn't HAVE "wide stances"! ;)

 

Sepiatone

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Never saw, or heard, an actor/actress pass gas in a film.

 

While driving, the driver is always looking and talking to the passenger for a long time, and never looks at the road, and never bangs into anything

 

The homes are always clean in a movie, never a piece of paper or mail or junk in sight.

 

Does a woman on film ever where white, cotton, brief underpants - also known as "elephant pants"?

 

Do you ever see an actor/actress pick their nose in a movie?

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In the movies you never seem to run out of bullets (I think this was mentioned) -- which reminds me of WHAT'S UP, TIGER LILY?:

"If all the little children in the audience who believe in fairies will clap, my gun will be filled with bullets!"

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When someone is taking down notes it takes all of two seconds to write out a chunk of information (and you can assume that they didn't know how to do shorthand).

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>I never see anyone sneeze, cough,

 

Have you noticed that in rare occasional movies when someone does cough, that means they are going to get really sick and usually will die from their illness. Otherwise, they never cough. :)

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If a war-time airplane pilot, or a race car driver, forgets his good luck charm and leaves it behind, and someone notices it or the camera zooms in on it, after he is gone, you know that he will soon die.

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>newclassicfilmfan:

>I never see anyone sneeze, cough, **** or blow their noses in a movie.

 

You've never seen Blazing Saddles.

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> Never saw, or heard, an actor/actress pass gas in a film.

 

 

It has been mentioned. You must mean in any film made BEFORE "Blazing Saddles"

 

Since then, and mostly in the last 15 years or so, movies have been RIFE with flatulence.

 

Sepiatone

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Have a guy break jail, go to the sheriffs home and ask can he have a day or so away to go treasure hunting and simply add the day(s) to the end of his sentence. The sheriff agrees because his (the sheriffs) wife says, well if he's fool enough.

 

In real life who's the biggest fool.

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Eugenia H - In addition to hardly writing huge chunks of info, people in movies often don't write anything down. You hear, "This is very important: take this package to 107 East Lake Street by 10pm and ask for Dave", then the person leaves without writing it down, yet somehow they remember.

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Hah, I'm remembering that, too! :) ..."Moe's number is 555-7186," and they easily dial it.

 

Also - I've seen this either in a movie or on TV, where someone tells another something like, "Call the library" (or Nick's Bar, or whatever),and they pick up the phone and dial the number without needing to look it up in the phone book. They already have it committed to memory.

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> You hear, "This is very important: take this package to 107 East Lake Street by 10pm and ask for Dave"

 

Dave's not here, man.

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>Does a woman on film ever where white, cotton, brief underpants - also known as "elephant pants"?

 

Or granny pants. Not a "classic" per se, but in Bridget Jones' Diary, the main character is wearing them when she doesn't expect anyone to see them and she ends up in bed with her date and is pretty embarrassed. Pretty funny really.

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Leave the supermarket and always have a loaf of bread sticking out of the bag.

The paperboy always hits your front porch.

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>In real life, a sheriffs office wouldn't hire this guy

 

Oh, I am in contact with a fair number of cops and see an awful lot of Barney Fifes. I recall a story about MrTiki's academy where a cadet pulled the trigger while the gun was still in his holster. Don't know if he made it to graduation, though.

 

>Hah, I'm remembering that, too! ..."Moe's number is 555-7186," and they easily dial it.

 

It certainly was a lot easier to remember numbers when they were only 5 digits. My number is "GRanite 98961"

 

My Mom & I stayed at the Hotel Pennsylvania in NYC and she looked at the phone and said, "Wow the number here really IS Pennsylvania 65000!" and we spontaneously jumped up and danced!

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> Dave's not here, man.

 

LOL, beat me to it, Dark.

 

Back to numbers. My Mom was good for that. She used to call "information", back in the days you'd get real people, and ask for two or three numbers. And RECALL THEM ALL! I could NEVER do that. When I'd call, I'd have pencil and paper at the ready, and STILL would have to wait for the repeat to get it down properly. I'm lousy with numbers. Ask me my license plate number, and I couldn't tell you to save my life! And I had the same plate for 12 YEARS!! The best I could do is quote CHEECH & CHONG again.

 

"It's on the back of the CAR, man!"

 

Sepiatone

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Or when two people make a date, she will usually say something like, pick me up at 8, but there is no indication from what preceded this that the guy has any idea where she lives. Maybe she has seen him stalking her outside of her place.

 

Edited by: Arturo on Feb 17, 2014 3:55 PM

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