Jump to content

 
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
vintageluvr90

*Dating Advice* Where to find a girl with similar interests?

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone,

 

I've been reading these posts on the TCM message board for a long time, and now that I have my official username I guess I'm now legit, so why not post for the first time?

 

Anyway something has been bothering me for a long time (but maybe I'm just over thinking this). As my username implies I love everything from the past, the films, cars, even the basic household items like pots and pans :) If only the past come back to life. I've restored (and now use) a 1950s desk that belonged to a WWII vet, restored a 1950s desk fan, a 1940s clock...maybe one day I'll have my own 1930s house :) I shave with a 1940s double edge razor, use only old fashioned hair pomades (rock it Clark Gable esque), I dress adequately (not like a hipster), I have an array of records, a 1950s record player (and sooo many more vintage/antiques that I use), I love swing music, can't stop listening to Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra.

 

The point is I'm naturally attracted to these things and many people probably say this but I genuinely feel like I was born in the wrong time period...but that's not the point. What's been bothering me is that I find it so hard to find a girl with similar interests (you can laugh if you want).

 

 

I'm 23 years old and a college student. I'm not a bad looking guy and have no problem finding girls to talk to or even meet. Fortunately or unfortunately I'm frequently hit on by older women (like women in their 40's), and I won't lie I've willingly gone out to places with them (and that's all I'll say). 

 

How should I handle this? I don't who to talk to or ask for advice. I eventually want to meet a girl with shared interests, someone who appreciates the things I do but I haven't found one, it seems so difficult and rare, and with the world we live in I find it harder and harder to come upon one. Where do I look? At school? In class sometimes a professor will mention Gone With the Wind or mention stars of the past and everyone will look dumbfounded.

 

I've been watching TCM and classic movies since my freshman year in high school and I can truly say it was a blessing to find the beauty of this channel. I've met WWII veterans in the past, one who actually became a close personal friend during high school (now deceased) and we'd watch TCM from time to time (although eventually he'd rather watch Sanford & Son). He was amazing and what he spoke about the past/his youth and time period (there were flaws of course like racism, etc.), times really seemed much simpler.

 

Well, I think I've written too much but I could keep on going on and on and on so I'll stop.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might attend one (or more) of TCM's Film Festivals and/or TCM Cruises. There appear to be quite a few young adults involved with those.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Vintage,

 

It would be lucky for you if you lived in New York or L.A., or some city that has some old retro theaters. You could go to movies there and linger around talking to people and maybe strike up a conversation with girls who also attend the same theater.

 

Or maybe find out if there is an old movie club in your town or in a nearby university.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i can't top fred's advice.

 

but i would add that you should try to expand your horizons. develop other interests that may be more common. strive to be conversational in a few varied areas. it helps to be curious. most people like talking a little about themselves. if you meet a girl you like, ask about her interests. you may find you know of something from classic movies that might relate.

 

most of all have the right attitude. women like men who like women. (a woman told me that.)

 

good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a female peer of yours (well, I'm about 7 years older), I would have to say I think it's really cool that you restore and use antique items and have an interest in history and vintage things.  However, like someone else mentioned, I think it's important that you make sure you're connected to what's going on now.  While you would have loved to live during the WWII era (for example, and really? who wouldn't?) make sure you aren't stuck in the past.  I'm all about vintage films, television shows, magazines, etc; however, I also am interested in things happening today. 

 

Since I don't know you, I can't comment directly on what other interests you may have outside of vintage; but it seems that you're a little more invested in it than other people with a similar interest.  Some women may find it a turn off if you aren't aware of the present day world around you, or aren't interested in other activities and hobbies outside of vintage.  Allow retro to just be one facet of your personality, don't let it BE your personality. 

 

I also agree with the advice to find out what a woman's interests might be.  Don't focus on specifically trying to find a girl that shares your same affinity for vintage.  When chatting her up, find out what her interests are, maybe invite her to a screening of a classic film in town (if your town has those), see if she's interested in your interests.  If she says something like "ugh! I hate black and white films" and turns you down, not only does she not share in your classic film interest; but you would know that down the line the two of you would have other compatiblity issues is she is unwilling to partake in any of your interests.  If she does accompany her to your "film date" (as an example), then find out what she likes to do, and go with her to that activity-- even if it means sitting through a crappy band's concert! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fortunately or unfortunately I'm frequently hit on by older women (like women in their 40's), and I won't lie I've willingly gone out to places with them (and that's all I'll say).

 

When I was 20 I dated a 33 year old. She was a movie buff and we went to see a lot of old films together. She was the first person who told me I needed to see a film called "Citizen Kane" by some director named Welles. :)

 

Luckily, I got to see that film a few years later at a theater in New York.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in a similar boat....I AM a restorationist who's life looks like it's taking place in the past. Sorry, but these old things were built to LAST and if cared for properly, they DO. By time you're 35, no one will care what you have, so just enjoy your life & who you are.

 

Now I work alone & live alone...how was I ever going to meet anyone? I started attending vintage film screenings, film festivals, horse shows, antique shows, anything that encompassed my interests with the idea of meeting like minded people-a start to finding a decent partner.

You never know, that nice couple may KNOW someone to introduce you to. You kind of learn to be gregarious & get involved. Any gal taking history courses in college will automatically understand your penchant for "old things".

 

Mr Tiki & I have mutual friends so we'd say HI as we walked our dogs past each other's houses two blocks apart. He found out (through mutual friends) that I attend vintage movie screenings on Monday nights- so he'd show up! (but just say HI) It was his way of showing he was interested in the same things I am! Our first date was traveling an hour to see a 35mm screening of MY FAIR LADY, which turned out great. We've been watching movies and walking our dogs together ever since.

 

It's a scary world out there for young people dating. Take your time and just do the things YOU like to do....you'll most likely have fun and meet others having fun too. You can never have too many friends.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Vintage,

 

It would be lucky for you if you lived in New York or L.A., or some city that has some old retro theaters. You could go to movies there and linger around talking to people and maybe strike up a conversation with girls who also attend the same theater.

 

Or maybe find out if there is an old movie club in your town or in a nearby university.

 

That's what I've thought about frequently. I live in Dallas and there are several theaters that show classic movies from time to time, but not very often. I'm also working full time and going to school full time so sometimes my time is limited, its definitely worth looking into more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What's wrong with 40+ year old women?  You said you like "vintage" stuff! ;)

 

But seriously, you could find happiness with someone who doesn't share your love of classic film, as long as she gives you the leeway to indulge it.  I'm 62.  My wife is 72.  Now, she really doesn't go in for old movies as much as I do, but she'll sit still for one every now and then.  And I in return will share time with her on her "Lifetime Sundays".  It's like currency.  You "spend" a little time sharing her interests, and she'll pay back with passing the time in sharing yours.

 

If not, kick her to the curb.

 

Sepiatone  Oh, and welcome to the boards.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in a similar boat....I AM a restorationist who's life looks like it's taking place in the past. Sorry, but these old things were built to LAST and if cared for properly, they DO. By time you're 35, no one will care what you have, so just enjoy your life & who you are.

 

Now I work alone & live alone...how was I ever going to meet anyone? I started attending vintage film screenings, film festivals, horse shows, antique shows, anything that encompassed my interests with the idea of meeting like minded people-a start to finding a decent partner.

You never know, that nice couple may KNOW someone to introduce you to. You kind of learn to be gregarious & get involved. Any gal taking history courses in college will automatically understand your penchant for "old things".

 

Mr Tiki & I have mutual friends so we'd say HI as we walked our dogs past each other's houses two blocks apart. He found out (through mutual friends) that I attend vintage movie screenings on Monday nights- so he'd show up! (but just say HI) It was his way of showing he was interested in the same things I am! Our first date was traveling an hour to see a 35mm screening of MY FAIR LADY, which turned out great. We've been watching movies and walking our dogs together ever since.

 

It's a scary world out there for young people dating. Take your time and just do the things YOU like to do....you'll most likely have fun and meet others having fun too. You can never have too many friends.

Oh, yes you can, if you find out that some of them are more trouble than they're worth.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

© 2020 Turner Classic Movies Inc. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved Terms of Use | Privacy Policy
×
×
  • Create New...