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Who would you pick as your costars in a classic film?


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I am going to imagine for a moment that I am a top star at one of the major studios in Hollywood. At Heavenly Pictures, I get casting approval over the other actors appearing in my movie.

 

The person first on my list?  Joan Crawford. You're going to laugh at my reason why, but it's true. I am a neat-freak germ-phobe.  I was watching a Crawford film recently and in the middle of the scene, she casually wiped a stray crumb off a table.  She earned my admiration forever. I also remember reading a comment from Fay Wray who said that Joan kept an immaculate dressing room on the set of QUEEN BEE.  And after Joan died, one of her Manhattan neighbors said Joan cleaned night and day with a housekeeper, joking that she had become HARRIET CRAIG, a role she had played on film.  

 

So I know that if Crawford was in my movie, everything would be clean and in order.  And I'd have this great Oscar-caliber lady ensuring that everyone was bringing their A-game to the scenes each day.  That is my kind of costar!

 

I would also pick Richard Burton, who I think makes all the actors around him work better.  Why wasn't this man ever awarded an Oscar?  Talk about unfair.

 

Judy Garland would have to be in my movie, too-- because I want a scene in my movie where she sings.

 

I'd like Hedda Hopper, too, for a small role. The stories she could tell us between takes about old Hollywood!

 

And don't forget Laird Cregar, because every film needs a good villain.

 

I am also going to hire Natalie Wood, so I can get paid to kiss her.

 

And I want to kiss Ty Power while he readjusts his sword.  Yeah, I hope he's available.  

 

(dialing phone) Hello, St. Peter, yeah, it's me--I need to borrow a few stars on your lot...

 

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Well, personally, I've always wanted to be Ashley Wilkes, and as honorable as him. Of course I would free all my slaves... after the War, of course. :)

 

So, all my co-stars would be the ones in Gone With The Wind.

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If I were a leading lady in a film...

 

Of course, I'd have to go with Errol Flynn to be my leading man.  Coming to work would definitely not be a burden.  I'd be early every day! Plus, Errol and I would definitely go out on the town at night. 

 

Aside from Errol, I think I'd want Claude Rains and Alan Hale as co-stars.  Alan and Errol would be really fun and I love Claude Rains.  He has such a great voice! 

 

If I were in a different movie, like a "weepie" for example, I'd definitely want to be in one with Bette Davis.  She's amazing.

 

If I were in a musical, I'd love to be in one with Gene Kelly and Judy Garland; except I'd have to hope in this fantasy that I also have some dance skills--otherwise, Gene might be frustrated with me.  Coordination and staying in time are not among my strong suits. 

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That's easy. William Powell and Carole Lombard would be my top choices, (sorry Bill, but I get the girl) :)   Otherwise I would like to work on the Warners lot in the late 30's/early 40's with that great group of character actors.

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I am going to imagine for a moment that I am a top star at one of the major studios in Hollywood. At Heavenly Pictures, I get casting approval over the other actors appearing in my movie.

 

The person first on my list?  Joan Crawford. You're going to laugh at my reason why, but it's true. I am a neat-freak germ-phobe.  I was watching a Crawford film recently and in the middle of the scene, she casually wiped a stray crumb off a table.  She earned my admiration forever. I also remember reading a comment from Fay Wray who said that Joan kept an immaculate dressing room on the set of QUEEN BEE.  And after Joan died, one of her Manhattan neighbors said Joan cleaned night and day with a housekeeper, joking that she had become HARRIET CRAIG, a role she had played on film.  

 

So I know that if Crawford was in my movie, everything would be clean and in order.  And I'd have this great Oscar-caliber lady ensuring that everyone was bringing their A-game to the scenes each day.  That is my kind of costar!

 

I would also pick Richard Burton, who I think makes all the actors around him work better.  Why wasn't this man ever awarded an Oscar?  Talk about unfair.

 

Judy Garland would have to be in my movie, too-- because I want a scene in my movie where she sings.

 

I'd like Hedda Hopper, too, for a small role. The stories she could tell us between takes about old Hollywood!

 

And don't forget Laird Cregar, because every film needs a good villain.

 

I am also going to hire Natalie Wood, so I can get paid to kiss her.

 

And I want to kiss Ty Power while he readjusts his sword.  Yeah, I hope he's available.  

 

(dialing phone) Hello, St. Peter, yeah, it's me--I need to borrow a few stars on your lot...

Well TB, your movie would have to be made sometime in the 50s, when you can have them all except for Cregar, who died late in 1944. While you could try in the 40s before he died, but Natalie Wood didn't enter films until 1943 (plus I don't think thats the type of kiss you had in mind), and Power was away at war from late 1942 to late 1945. And Burton is almost a decade away from films.

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If I was a movie star, I would try to freelance from the 1930s onward. That way I can costar with all the glamor girl sex symbols from all the studios.....Carole,.Lupe, Lana, Gene, Rita, Linda, Ava, Arlene, Rhonda, Grace, Marilyn, Kim, Sophia, Gina, etc. etc. etc.

 

And while my singing can be flat, I have often been compared to Astaire as a dancer, so i would partner with Lana, Ginger,.Rita, Betty and Cyd among others.

 

As a male.star in the days of the double standard, I would get to have ever youthful costars over the decades, well into middle age. I would make love to them on and off screen, in the dressing rooms between takes. My affairs would be kept hush hush until the 50s, when I would be fhe subject of a Confidential Magazine expose; this will only enhance my image as a great lover.

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Well TB, your movie would have to be made sometime in the 50s, when you can have them all except for Cregar, who died late in 1944. While you could try in the 40s before he died, but Natalie Wood didn't enter films until 1943 (plus I don't think thats the type of kiss you had in mind), and Power was away at war from late 1942 to late 1945. And Burton is almost a decade away from films.

Yes, I suppose I could substitute Orson Welles in place of Laird Cregar, as the villain in my movie. This would have to be around 1955. That way, Natalie is a bit older, Joan Crawford's film career hasn't gone into decline, Burton is already a star and Ty is still living. If Joan isn't available, I will take Ruth Roman. LOL

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I wish to be an extra on the set of "Doughboys" from 1930, which would put me with two of my heroes, one of cinema, one of music. Between scenes I would join Buster and Cliff to play tin pan alley songs on our ukuleles. (which they did do on the set, I hear, and it made me wonder, considering it wasn't a very good movie, why they didn't just film that?!)

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Hmmmm...well...lemme see here.

 

AH! I've got it!

 

I'd play Major Rudolf Rassendyll in "The Prisoner of Zenda", BUT play the guy as your average everyday American(specially, as a Californian/Arizonan), and thus just call me "Rudy"...none of that whole pretentious European stand-on-tradition/stuff-shirt crap for ME, boy! 

 

I'd have, say, the elegant BUT down-to-earth Deborah Kerr play Princess Flavia. Yeah, THAT'S it.

 

THEN maybe have all the rest of the cast of the '37 version in it, well EXCEPT for replacing the "matronly" Mary Astor as Antoinette de Mauban with the '52 version's MUCH hotter Jane Greer. Yeah, THAT'S the ticket!

 

(...and THEN, just before I ride triumphantly into the sunset at the end of this flick, I'd have C.Audrey Smith as Col, Zapt say to me, "Goodbye, Yank. You're the finest Ellsberg of them all, dude!", and then he'd turn to David Niven and say, "He taught me to say "dude", and while telling me some other gibberish about not spelling certain words with what he called 'superfluous u's'!"...THE END)

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Joel McCrea so I could have a romantic interest that interests me,  and Thelma Ritter so I could have a sidekick friend that isn't competing in looks.  

 

What's the movie?   With Joel McCrea and Thelma Ritter, it's gotta be a comedy.   :D 

 

Uh-huh! I know!

 

"The WEST Palm Beach Story", Char!!! 

 

(...and of course you'd take direction from none other than Preston Sturges!) ;)

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WEST Palm Beach Story !  

 

Very good.   It's Florida, and I can almost hear the gunfire.   Hm, but instead of the Ale and Quail Club shooting it up, it's the local outpost of Mullets and Mayhem.   :unsure:  

 

Hey! It could've been WORSE, ya know!

 

I COULD have said "The West VIRGINIA Story"...and THEN you and Joel would've been brother and sister AND married in this thing!!!

 

(...I think I just lost the Huntington and Charleston markets and all points in between here...but THAT'S okay 'cause I know they'll be back eventually)

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I picture Dargo as a Jerry Van Dyke type of guy who would work well in PALM SPRINGS WEEKEND and McLINTOCK,  co starring of course a gal named Stefanie. ;)

 

LOL

 

HEY now, Mr.R! I'll have you know that back in my day, I could give the first male lead in that "Palm Springs Weekend" flick, Troy Donahue, a run for his money in "the looks department"! ;) 

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Drop me at MGM in 1935, with Carole Lombard (on loan from Paramount) and Myrna Loy fighting over me (not literally, of course) in this romantic comedy. I wind up with Carole, of course...but Myrna gets a nice consolation prize in William Powell (thus making L.B. happy).

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well if I was to play Ferguson in Death on the Nile I'd replace Chiles with Catherine Deneuve, Olivia Hussey with Julie Berto, bring in on Michael Palin to play the crooked Italian archaelogist in the original novel, have Madhabi Mukherjee play the ship concierge and treat her with more dignity, and keep Ustinov, Niven, Farrow, Davis, Smith, Lansbury and Warden.

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