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Rodney


TomJH
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One of my all time favourite standup comics was the great Rodney Dangerfield. The man was virtually a joke machine, bada bing, bada boom, just cranking them out at you, all, of course, with the "I Get No Respect" theme. The sheer volume of his one liners usually had me kneeling over in laughter.

 

I recently heard this Dangerfield gem:

 

I went to my doctor's office the other day and he wanted me to give him a sample of everything. He wanted a sample of blood, a sample of urine, a sample of stool, a sample of s p e r m.

 

So I said to him, "Hey Doc, why don't I just give you my underwear?"

 

I told this joke to a friend of mine, who knew Dangerfield for a short while during the '70s. She said that he didn't change his clothes that often. He would, for example, wear the same shirt for three or four days in a row underneath his jacket. Who knows? That joke may truly be autobiographical.

 

Dangerfield was in many ways, though, a class act. He invited my friend, who lives in Toronto, to join him at his NYC nightclub, Dangerfield's. He paid for everything, including her return trip plane ticket and hotel room.

 

My friend made a comment that registered with me about him. She has met a number of celebrities and, for the most part, was unimpressed with them as people. Rodney, however, she genuinely liked as a person, and did he make her LAUGH. They spent a few days together and he didn't stop with the jokes. At the same time, however, he opened up to her about a few personal things in his life that she said he perhaps shouldn't have told her. I didn't ask her what they were.

 

She said, though, that she suspected she got along with Dangerfield so well because he could tell that she liked him as a person, rather than she being enraptured with his celebrity status. I wondered if I detected the signs of a lonely man when I heard that.

 

I have the feeling, however, that Dangerfield did string my friend along about one thing, though. He told her that he loved his wife but that she was institutionalized with mental health issues. To this day my friend still believes this, though I have found nothing to confirm what he told her. Nor have I said anything to her about that, though, because she still talks about Dangerfield on the rare occasion and, when she does, it's with a strong affection.

 

To her, Rodney Dangerfield was a good guy.

 

I decided to do this thread about Rodney because I just heard that joke at the top of the post and it, as usual, doubled me over with laughter.

 

Actually, back in the early '80s when I was in at Caesar's in Vegas, I sat at a keno bar one evening. There was a young woman sitting beside me. Suddenly patrons of the bar starting to converge with pens and napkins upon the person sitting on the other side of her.

 

I looked at the person and saw that it was Rodney Dangerfield trying to make a conversation with a young woman sitting on the other side of him.

 

The young lady beside me turned to me and asked, "Who is he?"

 

When I gave her his name she just looked back at me with a blank expression, like she had never heard of him.

 

"Go ahead and dump your drink on him," I remember telling her, "He doesn't get any respect anyway."

 

(An inside joke which she didn't get, of course, since she didn't know him).

 

At that point Dangerfield got off his stool and began to exit the bar.

 

As he passed me, I recall his saying, with that well known Rodney voice, "Give me a break. I'm just trying to have a drink."

 

I watched the great comic walk off into Caesar's wearing the tackiest pair of bermuda shorts imaginable. And, yes, he had bowlegs. Based upon what my friend later told me about him, I wondered how many days he may have been wearing those bermudas (even under his pants).

 

images11_zps520d84e5.jpg

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Thanks for posting that Tom. I too know some celebs that just can't be "normal" people, it's sad.

Thanks, TikiSoo.

 

Quite frankly, I thought that more Dangerfield fans would be speaking up about the comic here.

 

I guess it's like Rodney always said:

 

rodney_dangerfield1_zps65d59917.jpg

 

                                "No respect."

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Rodney was one-of-a-kind AND a very funny guy.  Some people don't know that he once ran in the same circles with Lenny Bruce.  And used a different name.

 

I always thought he was hilarious, and was a fan from the first time I saw him in Jr. high.  I was 13 I think! 

 

JEEZ, THAT would make it FIFTY YEARS AGO!!!

 

Sepiatone

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Rodney was one-of-a-kind AND a very funny guy.  Some people don't know that he once ran in the same circles with Lenny Bruce.  And used a different name.

 

 

Dangerfield's real name was Jacob Rodney Cohen and, according to Wiki, he started his show business career working under the name Jack Roy, which became his legal name.

 

He got the Dangerfield, as well as the no respect shtick, from a Jack Benny radio broadcast.

 

Here's a few Dangerfield one liners that I lifted from beer100.com:

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

 

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

 

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

 

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

 

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

 

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

 

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

 

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

 

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

 

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

 

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

 

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

 

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

 

One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.

 

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

 

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

 

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

 

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

 

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

 

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

 

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

 

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

 

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

 

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

 

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

 

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

 

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

 

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."

 

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."

 

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

 

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

 

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

 

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!

 

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

 

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

 

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

 

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

 

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

 

I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

 

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!

 

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

 

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

 

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

 

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

 

I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

 

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

 

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"

 

I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!

 

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

 

And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

 

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

 

I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!

 

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

 

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

 

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

 

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to o r g i e s to eat the grapes.

 

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

 

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

 

I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

 

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

 

With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

 

What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!

 

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.

 

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.

 

Finally, Rodney Dangerfield went out in 2004 with a joke on his tombstone:

 

RodneyDangerfieldGrave1_zpsdf6e0d18.jpg

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TomH, My mother was a schoolteacher and had Rodney's daughter Melanie in her Kindergarden class in P.S. 166, located on West 89th street on Manhattan's Upper West Side in the late 1960s.

 

 My Dad owned a gourmet store on 57th street which Rodney used to hang out in when he was in town during the late 1960s and the 1970s.  He seemed a really down-to earth guy as he made my Dad's store his makeshift office as he arranged the details for the opening of his club "Dangerfields" on the East Side.

 

Myself and my family members went many times to his club, both with his invitation, or impromptu, and never did we have to pay an entrance fee or cover.  Great guy!

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TomH, My mother was a schoolteacher and had Rodney's daughter Melanie in her Kindergarden class in P.S. 166, located on West 89th street on Manhattan's Upper West Side in the late 1960s.

 

 My Dad owned a gourmet store on 57th street which Rodney used to hang out in when he was in town during the late 1960s and the 1970s.  He seemed a really down-to earth guy as he made my Dad's store his makeshift office as he arranged the details for the opening of his club "Dangerfields" on the East Side.

 

Myself and my family members went many times to his club, both with his invitation, or impromptu, and never did we have to pay an entrance fee or cover.  Great guy!

Thanks very much for your reminiscence, John, and for further confirming what my friend always told me about Dangerfield being a great guy.

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Always thought Rodney was by far the best "One-Liner" Comic in The Biz, Tom. 

 

Got a question here about this:

 

He got the Dangerfield, as well as the no respect shtick, from a Jack Benny radio broadcast.

 

 

If you know the specifics of this, could you tell us more about it, as Benny is one of my idols.

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Dargo, here's a quote from Wikipedia about the Benny factor in Dangerfield's career:

 

In the early 1960s he started down what would be a long road toward rehabilitating his career as an entertainer, still working as a salesman by day. He divorced his first wife Joyce in 1961 and returned to the stage, performing at many hotels in the Catskill Mountains, but still with minimal success. He fell in debt about $20,000 by his own estimate, and couldn't get booked. As Rodney would later joke, "I played one club...it was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field & Stream."[9]

 

He came to realize that what he lacked was an "image"—a well-defined on-stage persona that audiences could relate to and that would distinguish him from similar comics. Returning to the East Coast, after being shunned by the premier comedy venues, he began to develop a character for whom nothing goes right.

 

He took the name Rodney Dangerfield, which had been used as the comical name of a faux cowboy star by Jack Benny on his radio program at least as early as the December 21, 1941, broadcast and later as a pseudonym by Ricky Nelson on the TV program The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. The Benny character, who also received little or no respect from the outside world, served as a great inspiration to Dangerfield while he was developing his own comedy character. The "Biography" program also tells of the time Benny visited Dangerfield backstage after one of his performances. During this visit Benny complimented him on developing such a wonderful comedy character and style. However, Jack Roy remained Dangerfield's legal name,[10] as he mentioned in several interviews. During a question-and-answer session with the audience on the album No Respect, Dangerfield joked that his real name was Percival Sweetwater.

 

By the way, I agree with you and mrroberts. Listening to Jack Benny's radio program from the '30s into the early '50s is a source of unyielding comedy treasures. After that, Benny's television series of the '50s and '60s is also a source of great joy for me.

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We have to remember that Rodney toiled for many years before "success" finally came his way. He was close to 50 years old when he finally got his break and became a headliner act.  And his movie career didn't happen until he was almost 60.  "When I was born the doctor took one look at me, and slapped my mother!" 

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We have to remember that Rodney toiled for many years before "success" finally came his way. He was close to 50 years old when he finally got his break and became a headliner act.  And his movie career didn't happen until he was almost 60.  "When I was born the doctor took one look at me, and slapped my mother!" 

 

First time I heard that one was on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Joan Rivers spoke it thus: "I was not a pretty baby - when I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother".

 

Wonder who used it first - her or Rodney? I never actually heard him say that one.

 

Carson must've really liked Dangerfield. Seems like he had him on hundreds of times. I remember someone joking with Johnny that Rodney was going to be competition for Carson's clothing line - said Rodney was rolling out a new line of all-black suits.

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It was ten years ago yesterday that Rodney Dangerfield went to the Big Comedy Club in the Sky.

 

One of the things that Dangerfield had in common with Johnny Carson is that they both loved to help up-and-coming comics.

 

Here's a link to one of Dangerfield's appearances on the Tonight Show. Aside from the great one liners, here's an opportunity once again to watch the number of times that Rodney straightens his tie, as well as watch Carson play straight man to him when Rodney sits down for the "interview."

 

Enjoy the work of the one liner master:

 

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One of my all time favourite standup comics was the great Rodney Dangerfield. The man was virtually a joke machine, bada bing, bada boom, just cranking them out at you, all, of course, with the "I Get No Respect" theme. The sheer volume of his one liners usually had me kneeling over in laughter.

 

I recently heard this Dangerfield gem:

 

I went to my doctor's office the other day and he wanted me to give him a sample of everything. He wanted a sample of blood, a sample of urine, a sample of stool, a sample of s p e r m.

 

So I said to him, "Hey Doc, why don't I just give you my underwear?"

 

I told this joke to a friend of mine, who knew Dangerfield for a short while during the '70s. She said that he didn't change his clothes that often. He would, for example, wear the same shirt for three or four days in a row underneath his jacket. Who knows? That joke may truly be autobiographical.

 

Dangerfield was in many ways, though, a class act. He invited my friend, who lives in Toronto, to join him at his NYC nightclub, Dangerfield's. He paid for everything, including her return trip plane ticket and hotel room.

 

My friend made a comment that registered with me about him. She has met a number of celebrities and, for the most part, was unimpressed with them as people. Rodney, however, she genuinely liked as a person, and did he make her LAUGH. They spent a few days together and he didn't stop with the jokes. At the same time, however, he opened up to her about a few personal things in his life that she said he perhaps shouldn't have told her. I didn't ask her what they were.

 

She said, though, that she suspected she got along with Dangerfield so well because he could tell that she liked him as a person, rather than she being enraptured with his celebrity status. I wondered if I detected the signs of a lonely man when I heard that.

 

I have the feeling, however, that Dangerfield did string my friend along about one thing, though. He told her that he loved his wife but that she was institutionalized with mental health issues. To this day my friend still believes this, though I have found nothing to confirm what he told her. Nor have I said anything to her about that, though, because she still talks about Dangerfield on the rare occasion and, when she does, it's with a strong affection.

 

To her, Rodney Dangerfield was a good guy.

 

I decided to do this thread about Rodney because I just heard that joke at the top of the post and it, as usual, doubled me over with laughter.

 

Actually, back in the early '80s when I was in at Caesar's in Vegas, I sat at a keno bar one evening. There was a young woman sitting beside me. Suddenly patrons of the bar starting to converge with pens and napkins upon the person sitting on the other side of her.

 

I looked at the person and saw that it was Rodney Dangerfield trying to make a conversation with a young woman sitting on the other side of him.

 

The young lady beside me turned to me and asked, "Who is he?"

 

When I gave her his name she just looked back at me with a blank expression, like she had never heard of him.

 

"Go ahead and dump your drink on him," I remember telling her, "He doesn't get any respect anyway."

 

(An inside joke which she didn't get, of course, since she didn't know him).

 

At that point Dangerfield got off his stool and began to exit the bar.

 

As he passed me, I recall his saying, with that well known Rodney voice, "Give me a break. I'm just trying to have a drink."

 

I watched the great comic walk off into Caesar's wearing the tackiest pair of bermuda shorts imaginable. And, yes, he had bowlegs. Based upon what my friend later told me about him, I wondered how many days he may have been wearing those bermudas (even under his pants).

 

images11_zps520d84e5.jpg

I agree. From the first time I saw him, he stood out from other standups. Every time  I ride an elevator to the "basement", I think of him. Also, every time I hear one of my favorite New Wave songs, "Dead Man's Party", which is from Rodney's BACK TO SCHOOL.

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I agree. From the first time I saw him, he stood out from other standups. Every time  I ride an elevator to the "basement", I think of him. Also, every time I hear one of my favorite New Wave songs, "Dead Man's Party", which is from Rodney's BACK TO SCHOOL.

Considering the fact that you're quite the one liner guy yourself, DGF, that's quite the compliment to Rodney.

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Rodney wrote an autobiography, It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs, published the year of his death, 2004.

 

I haven't read the book but I read a bit of it on line. No surprise, he had a tough, unloved childhood, with a father that left his home and whom he figures that he visited about two hours a year.

 

Then he wrote:

 

Although I didn't realize it at the time, my childhood was rather odd. I was raised by my mother, who ran a very cold household. I never got a kiss, a hug, or a compliment. My mother wouldn't even tuck me in, and forget about kissing me good night. On my birthdays I never got a present, a card, nothing.

 

I guess that's why I went into show business - to get some love. I wanted people to tell me I was good, tell me I'm okay. Let me hear the laughs, the applause. I'll take love anyway I can get it.

 

That sad but honest acknowledgement doesn't come as any kind of real surprise to me. It reflects what my friend told me about knowing Dangerfield in my opening posting on this thread, the feeling that he wanted her company because he could tell that she genuinely liked him as a person.

 

You remember that outburst that Sally Field had on live TV when she won her second Oscar? "You like me - you really like me!"

 

A lot of people have since poked fun at Field for that. But I think there are still an awful lot of people in show business who identified with that moment of honesty on her part, the crying need for those with insecurities, quite probably stemming from their childhood, to feel the love that can come from an audience.

 

In Rodney's case, as with so many other comedians, I'm sure, it came from the sounds of laughter.

 

Asset-00620_image1_zps26923fad.jpg

 

And, if that's what you were looking for, Rodney, then congratulations. Based on all that laughter you created, a lot of people sure must have loved you.

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One of my all time favourite standup comics was the great Rodney Dangerfield. The man was virtually a joke machine, bada bing, bada boom, just cranking them out at you, all, of course, with the "I Get No Respect" theme. The sheer volume of his one liners usually had me kneeling over in laughter.

 

I recently heard this Dangerfield gem:

 

I went to my doctor's office the other day and he wanted me to give him a sample of everything. He wanted a sample of blood, a sample of urine, a sample of stool, a sample of s p e r m.

 

So I said to him, "Hey Doc, why don't I just give you my underwear?"

 

I told this joke to a friend of mine, who knew Dangerfield for a short while during the '70s. She said that he didn't change his clothes that often. He would, for example, wear the same shirt for three or four days in a row underneath his jacket. Who knows? That joke may truly be autobiographical.

 

Dangerfield was in many ways, though, a class act. He invited my friend, who lives in Toronto, to join him at his NYC nightclub, Dangerfield's. He paid for everything, including her return trip plane ticket and hotel room.

 

My friend made a comment that registered with me about him. She has met a number of celebrities and, for the most part, was unimpressed with them as people. Rodney, however, she genuinely liked as a person, and did he make her LAUGH. They spent a few days together and he didn't stop with the jokes. At the same time, however, he opened up to her about a few personal things in his life that she said he perhaps shouldn't have told her. I didn't ask her what they were.

 

She said, though, that she suspected she got along with Dangerfield so well because he could tell that she liked him as a person, rather than she being enraptured with his celebrity status. I wondered if I detected the signs of a lonely man when I heard that.

 

I have the feeling, however, that Dangerfield did string my friend along about one thing, though. He told her that he loved his wife but that she was institutionalized with mental health issues. To this day my friend still believes this, though I have found nothing to confirm what he told her. Nor have I said anything to her about that, though, because she still talks about Dangerfield on the rare occasion and, when she does, it's with a strong affection.

 

To her, Rodney Dangerfield was a good guy.

 

I decided to do this thread about Rodney because I just heard that joke at the top of the post and it, as usual, doubled me over with laughter.

 

Actually, back in the early '80s when I was in at Caesar's in Vegas, I sat at a keno bar one evening. There was a young woman sitting beside me. Suddenly patrons of the bar starting to converge with pens and napkins upon the person sitting on the other side of her.

 

I looked at the person and saw that it was Rodney Dangerfield trying to make a conversation with a young woman sitting on the other side of him.

 

The young lady beside me turned to me and asked, "Who is he?"

 

When I gave her his name she just looked back at me with a blank expression, like she had never heard of him.

 

"Go ahead and dump your drink on him," I remember telling her, "He doesn't get any respect anyway."

 

(An inside joke which she didn't get, of course, since she didn't know him).

 

At that point Dangerfield got off his stool and began to exit the bar.

 

As he passed me, I recall his saying, with that well known Rodney voice, "Give me a break. I'm just trying to have a drink."

 

I watched the great comic walk off into Caesar's wearing the tackiest pair of bermuda shorts imaginable. And, yes, he had bowlegs. Based upon what my friend later told me about him, I wondered how many days he may have been wearing those bermudas (even under his pants).

 

images11_zps520d84e5.jpg

During the years he was struggling to make it, he sold aluminum siding......When I was a member of the New York Health and Racquet Club circa 1978, I used to see Rodney at the branch on the Upper East Side, trying out material on the staff there. 

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John Rodney, Warner Bros. fall guy. 

 

 

 

images10_zpsecc603ce.jpg

 

Oh, look at this! Now some other Rodney has come on my thread to complain about his life.

 

I get no respect, I tell ya. Look, buddy, you might have it tough but, believe me, I got tougher. For starters, you're a good lookin' guy.

 

Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. Now it's different. When I open the doors the kids hand me candy.

 

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get.

 

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

 

I went to my doctor and told him, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

 

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