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"I've never been so insulted in my life!" -- "Well... It's early yet."


Richard Kimble
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A few prime real life insults:

 

"The nicest thing thing I can say about Frances Farmer is that she is unbearable." -- William Wyler

 

"Kirk Douglas would be the first person to tell you he is difficult to work with. And I would be the second." -- Burt Lancaster

 

"As a human being, Joan Crawford is a great actress." -- Sterling Hayden

 

"On the set, Jack Lord is known for three things: his demands, his demands, and his demands." (probably an old Hollywood line. This was the version I heard)

 

"On a movie set, Billy Wilder is two people: Mr Hyde and Mr Hyde" -- Harry Kurnitz

 

"I don't believe Peter Sellers had a heart attack, because to have a heart attack, you have to have a heart." -- Billy Wilder

 

"Only two of the Unfriendly Ten have any talent. The other eight are just unfriendly." -- Billy Wilder

 

The five stages of Hollywood stardom:

 

1. Who is Hugh O'Brien?

2. Get me Hugh O'Brien

3. Get me a Hugh O'Brien type

4. Get me a young Hugh O'Brien

5. Who is Hugh O'Brien?

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And then of course Doc, there's the classic line Red Skelton is said to have uttered while observing the well-attended funeral of the generally despised Head of Columbia Studios, Harry Cohn: "It proves what Harry always said: give the public what they want and they'll come out for it."

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And then of course Doc, there's the classic line Red Skelton is said to have uttered while observing the well-attended funeral of the generally despised Head of Columbia Studios, Harry Cohn: "It proves what Harry always said: give the public what they want and they'll come out for it."

 

Possibly apocryphal, but Bette Davis allegedly attended the funeral and when someone asked why, she replied, "I just want to make sure the son of a bltch is dead".

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William Holden is a dumb prick. -- Humphrey Bogart

 

Working with Julie Andrews is like being hit over the head with a big Valentine’s Day card, every day. -- Chirstopher Plummer

 

Clark Gable is an idiot! You know why he’s an actor? It’s the only thing he’s smart enough to do. -- John Wayne

 

Bette Davis has a cult, and what the hell is a cult except a gang of rebels without a cause. I have fans. There’s a big difference.-- Joan Crawford

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Clark Gable is an idiot! You know why he’s an actor? It’s the only thing he’s smart enough to do. -- John Wayne

 

 

Wow! Never knew Wayne ever said that about Gable.

 

(...yeah, right...like Big Duke was a freakin' intellectual, EH?!) 

 

LOL

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Wow! Never knew Wayne ever said that about Gable.

 

(...yeah, right...like Big Duke was a freakin' intellectual, EH?!) 

 

LOL

 

Yes, something like John Giegud who took his lessons at Lady Benson's Acting School said about Ingrid Bergman, She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.

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Yes, something like John Giegud who took his lessons at Lady Benson's Acting School said about Ingrid Bergman, She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.

 

Well, YOU know how those Brit "master thespians" are, now doncha ham?!

 

(...uh-huh...any actress who never tackled the Lady Macbeth role is ALWAYS gonna be a little suspect in their eyes, ya know!) ;)

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Some of these are funny.  But, I can't recall WHOM said this ABOUT whom, but it went something like....

 

"I didn't think a Jew could BE that big a ham!"

 

But, I DO recall (as I posted in another thread sometime back) what I recall reading somewhere what JEAN-PIERRE RAMPAL alledgedly said about JETHRO TULL Leader-Flautist IAN ANDERSON when asked his opinion of Anderson as a FLAUTIST----Which was supposed to have been," He is more of a FLATULIST than a FLAUTIST!"

 

 

Sepiatone

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A good one by Bogart:

about the untrained beefcake stars of the early fifties,many of them picked up for tests from sidewalks and gas stations:

Shout `gas`' around the studios today,and half the young male stars will come running.
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A good one by Bogart:
about the untrained beefcake stars of the early fifties,many of them picked up for tests from sidewalks and gas stations:
Shout `gas`' around the studios today,and half the young male stars will come running.

 

 

LOL

 

Ya know nakano, after I read this, the first name that came to me was that of Bogie's young s-tud of a co-star in "Knock on Any Door"...John Derek!

 

(...and who apparently because of a streak of self-realization within him, would soon discover that perhaps because of his acting "talents" or lack there of, his best career move would be to move behind the cameras...well, THAT and marrying some of THE hottest lookin' blonde babes in Hollywood at the time, anyway...and who somehow kind'a sort'a all looked ALIKE!!!)

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A good one by Bogart:
about the untrained beefcake stars of the early fifties,many of them picked up for tests from sidewalks and gas stations:
Shout `gas`' around the studios today,and half the young male stars will come running.

 

 

Also from Bogart (not verbatim, but close):

 

"15 years ago I came to Hollywood on the train in my one suit and I was considered a bum. Today Marlon Brando rides in on a motorcycle in a torn T-shirt and he's a hero."

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Yes, something like John Giegud who took his lessons at Lady Benson's Acting School said about Ingrid Bergman, She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.

 

Not exactly an insult, but I was amused by Gielgud's reply when asked if there were any actors who impressed him when he was young:

 

"Yes, there was one actor who I thought I was very talented. His name was Claude Rains. I sometimes wonder whatever happened to him."

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A few prime real life insults:

 

"The nicest thing thing I can say about Frances Farmer is that she is unbearable." -- William Wyler

 

"Kirk Douglas would be the first person to tell you he is difficult to work with. And I would be the second." -- Burt Lancaster

 

"As a human being, Joan Crawford is a great actress." -- Sterling Hayden

 

"On the set, Jack Lord is known for three things: his demands, his demands, and his demands." (probably an old Hollywood line. This was the version I heard)

 

"On a movie set, Billy Wilder is two people: Mr Hyde and Mr Hyde" -- Harry Kurnitz

 

"I don't believe Peter Sellers had a heart attack, because to have a heart attack, you have to have a heart." -- Billy Wilder

 

"Only two of the Unfriendly Ten have any talent. The other eight are just unfriendly." -- Billy Wilder

 

The five stages of Hollywood stardom:

 

1. Who is Hugh O'Brien?

2. Get me Hugh O'Brien

3. Get me a Hugh O'Brien type

4. Get me a young Hugh O'Brien

5. Who is Hugh O'Brien?

Reminds me of when Lucille Ball heard that the studio was looking for a Lucille Ball type for a role. :Lucy expressed interest, but did not get the part.

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A good one by Bogart:
about the untrained beefcake stars of the early fifties,many of them picked up for tests from sidewalks and gas stations:
Shout `gas`' around the studios today,and half the young male stars will come running.

 

Shouting "gas" around the studios seems to be a complaint about the baked beans at the commissary.

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William Holden is a dumb prick. -- Humphrey Bogart

 

Working with Julie Andrews is like being hit over the head with a big Valentine’s Day card, every day. -- Chirstopher Plummer

 

Clark Gable is an idiot! You know why he’s an actor? It’s the only thing he’s smart enough to do. -- John Wayne

 

Bette Davis has a cult, and what the hell is a cult except a gang of rebels without a cause. I have fans. There’s a big difference.-- Joan Crawford

Dumb prick? Where are you, autocensor?

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Dumb prick? Where are you, autocensor?

 

Well DGF, maybe Mr. Otto Censor knows that THAT word is one of those "two-way" words that George Carlin closed his classic "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" routine with: "You can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick!"

 

(...and so maybe Mr. Censor just hasn't figured out which use is impermissible around here quite yet!)

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Well DGF, maybe Mr. Otto Censor knows that THAT word is one of those "two-way" words that George Carlin closed his classic "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" routine with: "You can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick!"

 

(...and so maybe Mr. Censor just hasn't figured out which use is impermissible around here quite yet!)

I had a summer job while in college. There was a particular job with the company that all the college kids wanted to do, but few got selected. I asked the boss about the requirements to be selected for that job. His response was, "You gotta be a prick!"

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I had a summer job while in college. There was a particular job with the company that all the college kids wanted to do, but few got selected. I asked the boss about the requirements to be selected for that job. His response was, "You gotta be a prick!"

 

So, how'd ya like the job once you got it, huh?!

 

;)

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