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Old joke, but still funny to me


Sepiatone
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But, something reminded me of it(something I saw on TV), but here goes....

 

The newly appointed leader of the communist party in a small Polish village goes house to house to introduce himself to the villagers.  Upon the opening of the door of one old lady's cottage, he looks past her and sees a crucifix hanging on the wall.

 

"That crucifix will have to go" he said.  The old lady complained, "That crucifix has been on that wall for over 60 years.  I refuse to move it!"  But the red leader was also stubborn.  He produced two framed pictures, one of Josef Stalin, and another of Vladimir Lenin.  "When I return tomorrow, I want to see these two pictures on your wall.  They're the ONLY pictures you should have in the house!"

 

Upon his return the next day, he looked on the wall and noticed the crucifix was still hanging there, with the pictures of Stalin and Lenin on either side.  When the red leader asked for an explanation, the old lady replied, "Oh, it's historically accurate!"  The red leader, confused, asked for clarity. "Well, " the old lady said, "The bible states that Jesus died on the cross between TWO THEIVES!"

 

Always liked that one. 

 

Don't argue with the tenacity of old Polish ladies.( learned that the hard way growing up myself!) :)

 

 

Sepiatone

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1.) What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a pin at you?

 

Run like the wind because he's still got the hand grenade between his teeth.

 

2.) Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland?

 

Because they could not find three wise men and a virgin.

 

THE POOR POLES.  NOT ONLY HAS THEIR COUNTRY BEEN A BATTLEFIELD FOR CENTURIES BUT EVERYBODY MAKES JOKES AT THEIR EXPENSE.

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I didn't get to see it until now. But I'm reminded of this joke that when I heard it was allegedly from Poland (although it could have been from any of the non-USSR East Bloc countries):

 

Four people: a young woman, and old lady, a Soviet Red Army soldier, and a Polish man were sitting together in a train compartment. The train enters a tunnel, and when the light goes out, they all hear a kiss and a smack, and when the train leaves the tunnel the Red Army soldier is rubbing his cheek.

 

"Good for her," thinks the old lady. "That soldier tried to get fresh with her, and she smacked him."

 

The young woman thought, "That soldier must have been trying to kiss me, and accidentally kissed the old woman."

 

The Red Army soldier was miffed. "I bet that Polish man tried to kiss the young woman, and she smacked me by mistake instead of him."

 

All along, the Polish man thought to himself, "I kissed the back of my hand, hit a Red Army soldier, and got away with it!"

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I chuckled.  Does that count?  If you wanted gushing comments you should have said so.

If I wanted "gushing" comments, I'd have posted it on Facebook! ^_^

 

Just an old commentary on communism, I guess.

 

Another favorite is this:

 

A Red guard stops a Hungarian citizen in Budapest and asks, "How come all I ever hear you Hungarians talk about is FOOD?  Everywhere I go, if I happen to eavesdrop into some conversation, it's about food!  All the time, you Hungarians talk about food!"

 

The Hungarian asks, "So?  What does it matter?"

 

The Russian soldier goes on..."Well, just take an example of us Russians!"  he said, "When WE get together, we talk about great LITERATURE, great ART and CULTURE!  Why don't you Hungarians talk about THAT?"

 

The Hungarian replied, "Well, you know...It's human nature for people to talk about that which they DON'T have!"  :D

 

 

Sepiatone

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