I Just Watched...

[film lover 293]

"Creature From The Haunted Sea" (1961)--Directed by Roger Corman.  Unfunny, Gawdawful spoof of horror and spy movies.  Unbelievably bad.  Creature looks like a pine tree with fried eggs for eyes.  Sample dialogue:

 

One spy to another--"Are you Rancid Potato?"

 

The singer does a number while her boat is being boarded by pirates--they politely wait for her to finish before ransacking the boat.

 

 If you've seen every other film Corman directed, check this out.   If not, Avoid this one.

 

[EricJ]

"Creature From The Haunted Sea" (1961)--Directed by Roger Corman.  Unfunny, Gawdawful spoof of horror and spy movies.  Unbelievably bad.  Creature looks like a pine tree with fried eggs for eyes.  Sample dialogue:

 

It was the third, and clunkiest, of writer Charles B. Griffith's "Spoof" trilogy for Corman, after "A Bucket of Blood" and "Little Shop of Horrors".  

(And Death Race 2000 doesn't count yet, since that was after Corman left A.I.)

 

If you know it's Griffith, you can listen for Naked Gun-like moments in the dialogue ("It was dusk...I could tell because the sun was going down"), otherwise, most people's first viewing tends to be "WHAT the colorful invented extreme-expletive am I watching??"

[cigarjoe]

Cop Hater (1958) 87th Precinct Noir 

 

 

A police procedural Film Noir, based on the 1956 novel "Cop Hater" by Ed McBain. It was the first in a series of books and films about the 87th Precinct in New York City. The film was produced and directed by William Berke (Shoot to Kill (1947), FBI Girl (1951)). The film was written by Henry Kane. Cinematography was by J. Burgi Contner.

 

New full review with screencaps here:

 

http://noirsville.blogspot.com/2016/11/cop-hater-1958-87th-precinct-noir.html

[scsu1975]

The Inner Circle  (1946)

 

Low-budget private eye yarn has a few good things going for it, but not the plot.

 

Warren Douglas (never heard of him) plays private detective Johnny Strange, who is advertising for a secretary. “She must be blonde, beautiful, between 22 and 28, unmarried, with a skin you love to touch and a heart you can.” While he is dictating this over the phone, a blonde (Adele Mara) appears out of nowhere and applies for the job. I thought she might be from a bias-response team, but no such luck. Douglas gives her the job, probably because she sews one of his socks … while he’s wearing it. Then she takes a phone call, sending Douglas to meet a mysterious woman in black, who takes him to a house, shows him the dead body of her husband, asks him to hide it, then conks him on the head. She removes her outfit and we see it’s Adele Mara. Confused?

 

By the time Douglas wakes up, Police Lieutenant Fred Mertz shows up and arrests him for murder. Douglas is cleared by Mara, who concocts a wild story that Douglas killed the stiff in self-defense. Confused?

 

Will Wright plays the corpse’s gardener, who needs everything repeated. He’s not hard of hearing, though. “By getting’ you to repeat, it gives me a chance to keep up,” he explains. Confused?  I SAY, CONFUSED??

 

Virginia Christine, pre-Folger’s Coffee, shows up as a nightclub singer, with Ricardo Cortez playing the owner of the joint. Cortez conks Douglas on the head just for the hell of it. Eventually everything is sorted out, as Douglas puts on a radio play re-enacting the murder, with all the suspects in the room. The murderer is nabbed, and Douglas and Mara have sex (ok, I made up that part, just to see if you’re still reading this).

 

The print on youtube is so-so at times  … so be warned … you might unfortunately  be able to see a few scenes.

 

 

 

Here, Douglas casually asks Ricardo Cortez if he’s really Spanish.

 

[film lover 293]

"The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent" (1958).

 

Roger Corman directed, unintentionally funny, would-be epic lasts just over an hour.  The no-name cast gives performances as bad as the script, which mingles 50's slang with Norse mythology.  The Vikings all have access to hair stylists--even the ones who are enslaved in a mine.  You can literally tell who the bad guys/girls are by their hair color. At least the sea monster looks like a monster.

 

There are enough laughs that film isn't painful to watch, but you may want to see the MST3K version.

 

Nowhere near Corman's best, or worst.  1.4/4.

 

Source--YouTube.

[Sepiatone]

Cop Hater (1958) 87th Precinct Noir 

 

 

A police procedural Film Noir, based on the 1956 novel "Cop Hater" by Ed McBain. It was the first in a series of books and films about the 87th Precinct in New York City. The film was produced and directed by William Berke (Shoot to Kill (1947), FBI Girl (1951)). The film was written by Henry Kane. Cinematography was by J. Burgi Contner.

 

New full review with screencaps here:

 

http://noirsville.blogspot.com/2016/11/cop-hater-1958-87th-precinct-noir.html

 

This movie also has both JERRY ORBACH and VINCENT GARDENIA in uncredited roles.

 

Their second film appearances too.

 

Sepiatone

[Janet0312]

"The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent" (1958).

 

Roger Corman directed, unintentionally funny, would-be epic lasts just over an hour.  The no-name cast gives performances as bad as the script, which mingles 50's slang with Norse mythology.  The Vikings all have access to hair stylists--even the ones who are enslaved in a mine.  You can literally tell who the bad guys/girls are by their hair color. At least the sea monster looks like a monster.

 

There are enough laughs that film isn't painful to watch, but you may want to see the MST3K version.

 

Nowhere near Corman's best, or worst.  1.4/4.

 

Source--YouTube.

Oh, I have GOT to see this!

[Dargo]

The Inner Circle  (1946)

 

Low-budget private eye yarn has a few good things going for it, but not the plot.

 

Warren Douglas (never heard of him)...

 

Seems Warren would pretty much give up work in front of the camera by around the late-'50s and then concentrate his career as primarily a television scriptwriter and primarily on the many TV Western series which were popular at the time and to the late-'60s.

 

(...hmmmm...now where is that "They Started as Actors" thread?)

[Movie Collector OH]

"The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent" (1958).

 

Roger Corman directed, unintentionally funny, would-be epic lasts just over an hour.  The no-name cast gives performances as bad as the script, which mingles 50's slang with Norse mythology.  The Vikings all have access to hair stylists--even the ones who are enslaved in a mine.  You can literally tell who the bad guys/girls are by their hair color. At least the sea monster looks like a monster.

 

There are enough laughs that film isn't painful to watch, but you may want to see the MST3K version.

 

Nowhere near Corman's best, or worst.  1.4/4.

 

Source--YouTube.

 

I think there needs to be an addendum to the four or five star rating system, traditionally given to the quality of the movie.  There needs to also be a "so bad it's good" score.  Kind of an insider thing for fairly weighting less than stellar movies.  So this film may get a 1.4/4, but may also get a 3.5/4 for "other reasons". 

 

[LawrenceA]

I think there needs to be an addendum to the four or five star rating system, traditionally given to the quality of the movie.  There needs to also be a "so bad it's good" score.  Kind of an insider thing for fairly weighting less than stellar movies.  So this film may get a 1.4/4, but may also get a 3.5/4 for "other reasons". 

 

 

Along those lines, I previously have used a dual rating for those types of movies. For example: 2/10 & 7/10, with the first rating being the "quality" of the movie, and the second being the so-bad-it's-good score. I have also used a (-) negative rating for those, say, a -9/10 rating for Eegah!

[Movie Collector OH]

Along those lines, I previously have used a dual rating for those types of movies. For example: 2/10 & 7/10, with the first rating being the "quality" of the movie, and the second being the so-bad-it's-good score. I have also used a (-) negative rating for those, say, a -9/10 rating for Eegah!

 

Ahh, but that is an Arch Hall movie, and that is entertaining in itself.

 

The ones with a low first score and a high second score might get my attention.  However the opposite might also dissuade me (personal quirks).

[wouldbestar]

Why hasn't anybody mentioned that the 87th Precinct books and Cop Hater were the basis of the TV series which starred Robert Lansing and Gena Rowlands?  She played Teddi who in the show was also mute and married to the detective; critics thought her the best part of the show.   

[Sepiatone]

Ahh, but that is an Arch Hall movie, and that is entertaining in itself.

 

The ones with a low first score and a high second score might get my attention.  However the opposite might also dissuade me (personal quirks).

 

Personally, I prefer to make up my OWN mind. 

 

Sepiatone

[cigarjoe]

Why hasn't anybody mentioned that the 87th Precinct books and Cop Hater were the basis of the TV series which starred Robert Lansing and Gena Rowlands?  She played Teddi who in the show was also mute and married to the detective; critics thought her the best part of the show.   

I never saw it, but I'll be on the lookout for it, thanks for the heads up.

[EricJ]

Why hasn't anybody mentioned that the 87th Precinct books and Cop Hater were the basis of the TV series which starred Robert Lansing and Gena Rowlands?  

 

When "Columbo" came back in 90's TV-movies, they also got tired of the formula and tried adapting two of the 87th Precinct books to turn the Lieutenant into a procedural detective.  Neither one quite fit the other, but it was a good try.

[scsu1975]

The Scarlet Hour (1956)

 

Not a bad little noirish drama.

 

Carol Ohmart and Tom Tryon are having a little rendezvous on a deserted road, when they overhear three guys plotting to knock over a house and steal $350,000 worth of jewelry. Since Ohmart is trying to ditch her husband (James Gregory), she eventually concocts a plan to rob the burglars, and suckers Tryon into it. The plan almost comes off … except that Gregory suspects the two are getting it on, and follows them. Tryon holds up the burglars, but as he makes his escape, the two burglars fire at him. Meanwhile, as Ohmart waits for Tryon in the getaway car, Gregory confronts her. Ohmart shoots him, and lets Tryon think the burglars hit him by accident. Of course, things slowly unravel from there, and there is also a neat twist involving the owner of the jewels.

 

There is some talent involved – Michael Curtiz directed, and keeps the pace moving fairly well. The supporting cast is good, and features Elaine Stritch as Ohmart’s friend, and E. G. Marshall and Edward Binns as a couple of detectives. Richard Deacon has a bit as a jeweler. David Lewis (who played Edward Quartermaine for so many years on “General Hospital”) makes his film debut. As a bonus, Nat King Cole appears and sings “Never Let Me Go.”

 

Tryon is acceptable in his role, but that’s about it. Ohmart, who was wonderfully treacherous as Vincent Price’s wife in House on Haunted Hill, looks great, but her voice is a little too monotone to suit me.

 

One of the screenwriters is billed as Rip Van Ronkel. Apparently he didn’t want to use his real name, Rupert Stiltskin.

 

 

 

A rare still from 2 Angry Men.

 

[LornaHansonForbes]

i ain't even gon' lie, last week was a tough one.

 

on the positive front, my parents surprised me with a ROKU TV and now I have access to Netflix- and with that, access to all 12 seasons of  MURDER, SHE WROTE.

 

as Leonard Cohen once wrote, "Hallelujah."

 

Highly recommended as a stroll down memory lane, as an exercise in camp, and as a cheerfully nourishing view of the world in kinder, simpler times (well, simpler times at least.)

 

i think the best thing, besides the CAVALCADE of sliding B and C-list actors and solid gold character players (CESAR ROMERO! MARY WICKES! JUNE ALLYSON! THE GUY WHO VOICED SNAGGLEPUSS! BOB GOULET! JEAN SIMMONS! RON MOODY! MARIE WINDSOR! GLORIA DeHAVEN! SONNY BONO IS KILLED WITH A FROZEN FISH!) are the hairstyles, serious question: was everyone over the age of 20 in the process of growing out a bad perm during the 1980's? I was alive then, but too young to recall. Some of the hair is so feathered, a strong wind would lift the owner a good 15-20 feet in the air.

 

oh, and POWER bangs, LOTS of POWER bangs and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad wigs.

 

and white shoes after labor day and shoulder pads.

 

some of the best episodes:

 

SNOW WHITE, BLOOD RED- one of the more infamous episodes for its surprising violence and slasher-like tone, i think it might've even caused some controversy. The ending is a GENUINE SHOCK, even though the execution is not always perfect, the story structure and twist endings in many of the early episodes are great. 

 

MURDER TAKES THE BUS- A season 1 (pre-facelift) episode, and another one with a great ending. RUE MCLANAHAN is a suspect and she is such a good actress.

 

JESSICA BEHIND BARS- Yes, Jessie's in the big house, she visits a women's prison that is locked down when a murder occurs. Vera Miles, Margaret "Shug" Avery, Yvonne DeCarlo, Eve "Jan Brady" Plumb, a chick who for all the world looks just like Michonne from THE WALKING DEAD and Adrienne Barbeau guest star and it is MAGIC. 

 

KEEP THE HOME FRIES BURNING- Another Cabot Cove episode with a clever twist and solid premise, a mass case of botchilism at a restaurant has been used to cover up a murder.

 

CROSSED UP- SORRY, WRONG NUMBER derivation with a bedridden Jessica overhearing the plot for a murder over the phone during what has to be the sunniest hurricane i've ever seen. David Hemmings- apparently unfamiliar with the concept of day-for-night photography- directs.

 

IF IT'S TUESDAY, IT MUST BE BEVERLY- The best of the Cabot Cove episodes and possibly the best and most surprising solution of the series.

 

NIGHT OF THE TARANTULA- Jessica visits JAMAICA and a VOODOO CURSE (Um, get your stereotypes right, people!) takes out her host. Hurd Hatfield with an oooooutraaaageous French accent guest stars.

[Sepiatone]

Ya gotta remember LORNA.

 

The '80's were a dismal time for BOTH hair AND music!

 

 

Sepiatone

[wouldbestar]

Ya gotta remember LORNA.

 

The '80's were a dismal time for BOTH hair AND music!

 

 

Sepiatone

 

Not so!  I agree about the hair and-clothes-but I listened to more music in the 80's than I did in the 70's; next to the 60's it was the most prolific decade I've lived through.  It was also the best for TV series and movies.  I don't know how or why everything all came together at that time but it did.  Glad I was there for it. 

[Fedya]

The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972).

 

Paul Newman plays Roy Bean who in this movie version becomes judge after killing a bunch of brothel people when he takes them all on in a shootout. Bean then proceeds to become a snotty, obnoxious jerk who cares not one whit about the rule of law, hanging everyone in sight and generally being a self-centered blankety-blank. And we're supposed to like this guy.

 

It all makes the movie almost unwatchable; like Julie Harris' character in Member of the Wedding I wanted somebody to smack this Roy Bean into the next county. And don't bet me started on his creepy obsession with Lillie Langtry.

 

2/10. I hated it. There's two hours of my life I won't get back.

[RoyCronin]

Hours of my life were wasted watching "Jeremiah Johnson". What a horrible piece of crap. Any other life wasters out there?

[LawrenceA]

delete

[LsDoorMat]

i ain't even gon' lie, last week was a tough one.

 

on the positive front, my parents surprised me with a ROKU TV and now I have access to Netflix- and with that, access to all 12 seasons of  MURDER, SHE WROTE.

 

as Leonard Cohen once wrote, "Hallelujah."

 

Highly recommended as a stroll down memory lane, as an exercise in camp, and as a cheerfully nourishing view of the world in kinder, simpler times (well, simpler times at least.)

 

i think the best thing, besides the CAVALCADE of sliding B and C-list actors and solid gold character players (CESAR ROMERO! MARY WICKES! JUNE ALLYSON! THE GUY WHO VOICED SNAGGLEPUSS! BOB GOULET! JEAN SIMMONS! RON MOODY! MARIE WINDSOR! GLORIA DeHAVEN! SONNY BONO IS KILLED WITH A FROZEN FISH!) are the hairstyles, serious question: was everyone over the age of 20 in the process of growing out a bad perm during the 1980's? I was alive then, but too young to recall. Some of the hair is so feathered, a strong wind would lift the owner a good 15-20 feet in the air.

 

oh, and POWER bangs, LOTS of POWER bangs and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad wigs.

 

and white shoes after labor day and shoulder pads.

 

some of the best episodes:

 

SNOW WHITE, BLOOD RED- one of the more infamous episodes for its surprising violence and slasher-like tone, i think it might've even caused some controversy. The ending is a GENUINE SHOCK, even though the execution is not always perfect, the story structure and twist endings in many of the early episodes are great. 

 

MURDER TAKES THE BUS- A season 1 (pre-facelift) episode, and another one with a great ending. RUE MCLANAHAN is a suspect and she is such a good actress.

 

JESSICA BEHIND BARS- Yes, Jessie's in the big house, she visits a women's prison that is locked down when a murder occurs. Vera Miles, Margaret "Shug" Avery, Yvonne DeCarlo, Eve "Jan Brady" Plumb, a chick who for all the world looks just like Michonne from THE WALKING DEAD and Adrienne Barbeau guest star and it is MAGIC. 

 

KEEP THE HOME FRIES BURNING- Another Cabot Cove episode with a clever twist and solid premise, a mass case of botchilism at a restaurant has been used to cover up a murder.

 

CROSSED UP- SORRY, WRONG NUMBER derivation with a bedridden Jessica overhearing the plot for a murder over the phone during what has to be the sunniest hurricane i've ever seen. David Hemmings- apparently unfamiliar with the concept of day-for-night photography- directs.

 

IF IT'S TUESDAY, IT MUST BE BEVERLY- The best of the Cabot Cove episodes and possibly the best and most surprising solution of the series.

 

NIGHT OF THE TARANTULA- Jessica visits JAMAICA and a VOODOO CURSE (Um, get your stereotypes right, people!) takes out her host. Hurd Hatfield with an oooooutraaaageous French accent guest stars.

Hurd Hatfield was a guest star probably because he and Angela Lansbury were lifelong friends after they made Picture of Dorian Gray. But you probably already know that. I was 26 in 1984 when the show premiered. So, YES, everybody was in the process of growing out a bad perm in the 1980s. See any episode of Magnum P.I. if you doubt me.

[RoyCronin]

I think it's great that a film I can't tolerate is loved by someone else! Isn't life the craziest thing you ever saw?

[EricJ]

i ain't even gon' lie, last week was a tough one.

 

on the positive front, my parents surprised me with a ROKU TV and now I have access to Netflix- and with that, access to all 12 seasons of  MURDER, SHE WROTE.

 

The camp was a little too cutesy for me to watch when it was on, since it was coming a little too plagiaristically fresh on the heels of Lansbury playing Agatha Christie's Miss Marple (albeit not very well, certainly not as well as Geraldine McEwan, although perhaps better than Margaret Rutherford) in The Mirror Crack'd.

Similarly, it was sad to watch a post-comedy Dick Van Dyke in "Diagnosis: Murder" when that show was spun off for the old-fogey demographic.

 

Still, nice to know you've got Netflix, even though....most everything vintage has disappeared off of Netflix by now.

Roku should be able to get most of the vintage 70's/80's network reruns on HuluPlus though, and FilmStruck should be arriving in a month or two.

 

Fedya

 

The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972).

 

Paul Newman plays Roy Bean who in this movie version becomes judge after killing a bunch of brothel people when he takes them all on in a shootout. Bean then proceeds to become a snotty, obnoxious jerk who cares not one whit about the rule of law, hanging everyone in sight and generally being a self-centered blankety-blank. And we're supposed to like this guy.

 

Not sure we are--Judge Bean WAS known as "the Hangin' Judge" in Western myth, and, like his playing Buffalo Bill for Robert Altman, Newman liked playing Western a-holes for a bit of mischievous deconstruction.

This was the Deconstructing 70's, after all, and we were up to our eyeballs in depicting westerns as historically nasty and ugly.