Great One-Liners

[FredCDobbs]

Fred C. Dobbs: Why am I elected to go to the village? Why me instead of you and Curtin? Oh, don't think I don't see through that. You two've thrown in against me. The two days I'd be gone would give you plenty of time to discover where my goods are, wouldn't it?

[JakeHolman]

That'll be the day.
The Searchers (1956)
The Immortal John Wayne

[hamradio]

"Babylon 5 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark" (1997)

 

Marcus Cole after kicking butt and leaving everyone on the floor trying to extract information...

 

It's like I always say, you get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than with just a kind word.

[JakeHolman]

I stick my neck out for nobody.

Casablanca (1942)

Humphrey Bogart

[NipkowDisc]

 

Bar Girl: You want to dance?

Senator Raymond Clark: No, thank you, honey. I just had a hernia operation.

from Seven Days in May 1964

 

that's the best one so far.

[Dargo]

 

"I've often speculated on why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Did you run off with a Senator's wife? I'd like to think that you killed a man...it's the romantic in me."

 

(...yep, SO many great lines in THIS one, that it might even deserve having its own separate thread with this same premise)

[DownGoesFrazier]

 

Bar Girl: You want to dance?

Senator Raymond Clark: No, thank you, honey. I just had a hernia operation.

from Seven Days in May 1964

 

Those of you who find this funny obviously have never yourselves had a hernia operation.............I'm no big fan of the Marx Brothers, but the first line that occurred to me was:

 

                                   Margaret Dumont (dancing with Groucho): Come closer,...closer

                                    Groucho: If I got any closer, I'd be behind you.

[fredbaetz]

"Babylon 5 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark" (1997)

 

Marcus Cole after kicking butt and leaving everyone on the floor trying to extract information...

 

It's like I always say, you get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than with just a kind word.

 

"The Untouchables" 1987

 

Al Capone { Robert DiNiro}

 

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun, than you can with a kind word".....

[NipkowDisc]

That'll be the day.

The Searchers (1956)

The Immortal John Wayne

yer darn tootin'!

[FredCDobbs]

yer darn tootin'!

 

That's fer shurr..... that's fer dang shurr.

[skimpole]

All About Eve:  “Shucks, I just sent my autograph book to the cleaners.”

 

All the President's Men:  “Now hold it, hold it.  We're about to accuse Mr. Haldeman, who only happens to be the second most important man in America, of conducting a criminal conspiracy from inside the White House. It would be nice if we were right.”

 

And the Ship Sails On:  “Do you know rhino milk is really first class.”

 

Brazil:  “Care for a little ****?”

 

Casablanca:  "This place is full of vultures, vultures everywhere, everywhere"

 

                      "Are my eyes really brown?"

 

                      "But everybody's having such a good time.":

 

Chinatown:   “You can't eat the venetian blinds, Curly.  I just had 'em installed on Wednesday.”

 

                     “Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough,”

 

                      “I don't blame myself. You see, Mr. Gits. Most people never have to face the fact that at the right time, the right place, they're capable of anything.”

 

Duck Soup:     “Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

 

The English Patient:   "I can still taste you."

 

Grand Illusion:      "I just shot down a Caudron fighter.  If they're officers, invite them for lunch."

 

                             "Cancer and gout aren’t working class diseases, but they will be, believe me.”

 

Henry V (Branagh version):  "May I with right and power make this claim?"

 

Love and Death:    "Wheat!  Wheat with feathers!"

 

Manhattan:           "Not everyone gets corrupted—you’ve got to have a little faith in people.”

 

Monty Python and the Meaning of Life:    “O Lord…you are so big.”

 

The Princess Bride:      “Inconceivable!”  “You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.”

 

The Producers:            “We find the defendants incredibly guilty.”

 

Red River:           “You know, there are only two things more beautiful than a good gun: a Swiss watch or a woman from anywhere. You ever had a good Swiss watch?”

 

Reversal of Fortune:     “And a vial of insulin please.”

 

Richard III [ian Mackellan version]:         "I thank God for my humility."

 

The Rules of the Game:                          “I have no choice but to dismiss you. It breaks my heart, but I can't expose my guests to your firearms. It may be wrong of them, but they value their lives.”

 

The Shining:       " I'm sorry to differ with you, sir, but you are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker. I should know, sir. I've always been here."

 

Shoah:               "If you could lick my heart, it would poison you."

 

The Thin Man:   "Yes, it's the best dinner I ever listened to."

 

Time Bandits:    "Champagne please--with plenty of ice."

 

2001:  A Space Odyssey:                       “Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it.”

 

The Usual Suspects:                               "I know he was good."

 

Yankee Doodle Dandy:                           “My father thanks you, my mother thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you.”

 

 
 

[scsu1975]

"You #$%^&^%$#@!@#$%^&*&^%$#@!#$%^&*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^&*"

 

Joe Pesce, in any of his films.

[scsu1975]

"Either you're for us, or you're against us."  Robert Urich, in Magnum Force.

[Sepiatone]

 

 

When I was a kid, and first heard the Scarecrow  in THE WIZARD OF OZ say, "Some people without brains do an AWFUL lot of talking.", I wondered when was it he ever met my brother!

 

I'd kid him about that over the years, but I had nothin' but LOVE for him!

 

 

Sepiatone

[Bogie56]

"We doan need no stinkin' badges"

 

- Alfonso Bedoya as Goldhat in Treasure of the Sierra Madre

[JakeHolman]

Sorry don't get it done, Dude.
Rio Bravo

The Immortal John Wayne

[jakeem]

"Never tell me the odds."

 

-- Han Solo (Harrison Ford) in the 1980 sequel "Star Wars: Episode V -- The Empire Strikes Back" (after C3PO tells him there was a 3,720 to 1 chance of escaping an asteroid field in the Millennium Falcon).

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2CRs8PAhzg 

[nakano]

From Casablanca  With Rains & Bogart:

 

Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?

Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.

Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.

Rick: I was misinformed.

[jakeem]

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

 

-- Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) in "The Godfather Part III" (1990).

 

 

[JakeHolman]

We want two large glasses of lemonade.
Peter O'Toole
Lawrence of Arabia

[jakeem]

"You shouldn't wear that body." 

 

-- Attorney Ned Racine (William Hurt) to Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner) in "Body Heat" (1981).

 

[JakeHolman]

You don't look out for yourself, the only helping hand you'll ever get is when they lower the box.

Hud

Paul Newman

[JakeHolman]

I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for.

The Natural

Roy Hobbs -- Robert Redford

[jakeem]

"A man's got to know his limitations."

 

-- San Francisco Police Inspector Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in "Magnum Force" (1973).

 

 

[jakeem]

"Kid, the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace

like Bolivia."

 

-- Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" (1969).